Writing.
For some of you, the bane of your existence--for others, your reason for living. (OK--scratch that, I am feeling very emo for some reason).
Take two...
Writing. Some of you hate it, some of you don't.
(Blah. Ewwwww. That is horrible).
Yeeeeesh, one more time...
Writing. Hateful chore, dreadful stalker lying in wait to destroy your lofty GPA...OR instrument of intellectuality, gateway to the green grass of good grades? :o)
Which is it for you? Why?
This blog, for some of you, is the most public your writing has ever been. When I say public--that is what I mean--all of your peers can log on at any time and read what you've written. In fact, they have to.
Does knowing that you are writing for a public audience ever influence what you say? What about how you write? Do you find yourself being more conscious of your grammar, mechanics, diction etc knowing that any one of your friends (or not-friends) may be reading your thoughts and ideas?
Now, translate that question into everyday conversation. Many of you have different groups of friends; "AP" friends, athletes (not trying to say they are mutually exclusive, but sometimes they are), party friends (no details, please--I may never recover), and maybe neighborhood friends that don't go to Oak. Do you ever find yourself speaking to them differently than you do some of your other friends? How about your family members? Me? If so, why? If not, why not?
Finally, do you think you are judged on how well you speak and write? If you do, by whom? How do you feel about that?
(450 words/65pts)
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I am so excited for this blog! :)
ReplyDeleteWow, I haven't been first to comment in the longest time.
"gateway to the green grass of good grades"
ReplyDeletecute alliteration bunj. <3
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWriting, something I wish I could be alright at doing…
ReplyDeleteThis blog is my first real shot at public writing, or whatever you want to call it. I am usually a better writer, or at least I like to believe I am, when my writing remains between a teacher and myself. However, this year has taught me that no matter how awesome I think I wrote before, AP Lang is completely different. This blog causes me to be super nervous about the topic I choose to write about as well as extremely anal about the actual mechanics and grammar. I do not like to be open about myself either, which just adds on stress and commenting on other people’s writing makes me even more nervous because of all the fights I heard about last year.
On another note, I often catch myself getting confused on how to talk when my team is present but my mother is a chaperone, like on Chess trips out of state. I would never joke as harshly as I do with my team in front of my mother, but the there are times when the team gets pretty bad and I join in… much to my mother’s dismay. However, they are my friends and I speak way less formally in front of them than I do with my strict, anally grammar ridden father. Things like AP Lang of AP Chem I cannot say in front of my father because it is “Lazy and and uneducated way of bragging about your intelligence….” Trust me, we have been having this conversation everyday for the past two weeks.
I guess the reason for my clear distinction of how I speak to who is by how they will judge me after our encounter. Ever since I was little, my father has stressed the importance of clear language as well as a formal way of speaking to go along with it. In the case of everyday life, I am sure to change the way I speak according to who I am around. My father will just get on my case when I speak informally while my friends could not care less. Speaking to teachers is important especially when you are trying to persuade them to do something they do not want to, like change your grade, and the way you speak to a college dean decides whether you get accepted or not. The way you speak is important and so is the way you write. The two go hand in hand. You cannot be taken seriously if you have one or the other. They are a pair and need to be kept together. That is why I wish I was good both of them.
Sorry that it is a bit discursive. I have been having to do my homework in the living room while my mother is screaming or my niece is blaring ICarly on the television. I need my happy place back.
Instrument of Intellectuality: I couldn’t have found a better way to express what writing means to me. When I was younger (and even now, as some instances have shown), I found it incredibly hard to express what I was feeling. I felt I always betrayed myself by conveying the wrong emotion. Thus, I felt I never conveyed myself as a person. I could speak for an hour trying to explain to someone why I hated men, and in the end feel like I described the opinion of someone else. Essentially, I felt like my soul was trapped by my inability to represent it.
ReplyDeleteThat is, until I began to master my vocabulary more. Not to sound haughty, but when I was younger, I often tried to express ideas that were more mature than my vocabulary at the time. As my English classes became subsequently harder, that became less and less of a problem. Misunderstanding, I believe, is one of the worse sins in the world. However, in order to be understood correctly, you need to know how to make yourself understood through communication. Writing does that for me. I consider it my eternal friend.
The way I write never changes depending on the audience. Now, I don’t mean if I write more formally because an essay’s intended for a teacher or if I write loosely because it’s a blog. No, I mean I don’t soften, manipulate, or leave out anything that I want to say simply because a certain group of people are going to read it. For a long time in my life, I felt like nothing. Once I discovered who I was, I’ve found it extremely hard to try and be anything but Kale Nagasaki, full force with no censors. Regarding grammar, etc, there’s not much of a change. I love writing, but only if it’s good writing. Only my opinion dictates of I find something good, so thus I don’t become any more conscious of what I’m writing beyond what I believe is required to write a decent entry, essay, etc.
I do talk differently depending on the people I’m with. I feel like I talk truest to myself when I’m in your class, Bunje. Your class demands the type of intellectual processes that allow me to experiment with scholarly speaking. Nearly everywhere else though, I wouldn’t be understood if I used our vocabulary words, so I’m forced to use sixth grade vocabulary. It sucks, but it’s necessary. It’s better to say “I’m so mad,” than to say “I’m incensed” and have no one understand how I feel.
Lastly, judgment. Of course we are all judged on how we write and speak. Not only by teachers, but by other students and virtually everyone in the world. I know I judge. When I get a text message that says “Sup,” I don’t respond. My initial reaction is “You’re in high school, and you have nothing to show for it because you’re still talking like you’re 12.” Harsh, yes, but I believe that once you learn something, use it as much as you can. Or else it’s just a waste. Personally, I don’t feel duress by other people’s judgments. It’s part of the cycle. I don’t write anything I’m not proud of, so whether someone likes or dislikes my writing is irrelevant, since I knew, at the time and for that moment, it was the best Kale Nagasaki had to offer.
:] I’m smiling. Good luck on your style analysis essay’s everyone!
I have a lot of feelings.
ReplyDeleteYes, that was meant to be funny. But, in a way, it’s completely true. I think about things a lot. I think about how everything works and how everything operates. So, with that, I express my opinions and feelings to whatever it may be. Whether it’d be a pair of shoes, a good book, or a person, I have feelings for it. In fact, everyone does… I hope.
So, that’s part of the reason why I write. I’m expressive. I draw. I sing. I act. I dance. I write. For me, I use as much outlets I can use to express my feelings and my creativity. It helps me figure things out and dissect what’s going on in my life. In fact, since May 10, 2009, I’ve written everyday in journals that I’ve promised myself to keep. I’ve filled up two already and I’m a quarter way through my third. My journals are the closest I can get to having a pensieve like the great Albus Dumbledore.
Unlike my journals, my writing for public audiences differ so much in the fact that it’s a little censored of my actual thought processes and the like. I find myself always minding my audience. I don’t change my ideas or anything but I definitely make sure to use words appropriate for the audience. We have to. We have to be mindful because when we’re talking in public to give something like a speech, we have to keep their attention. Keeping their attention will get them to understand your points of view.
Even if it’s not a speech, I still mind things like my diction, my grammar, or whether or not I use more vowels in a word to add more emphasis to the word like saying “I loveeeeeee you” to someone on Facebook. I think about them because I’ll admit, I care about what other people think of me.
It’s only been recently that I’ve been honest to everyone with telling them that I’m gay. For some people, it didn’t come as a surprise. I’ll admit. I just get extremely flamer at times. But still, I think about things like this specially on Facebook. There are people there who can see every photo that I upload, every status that I update, and every single word that I type. I just don’t want to be looked down on because I appear “so gay.” I mean, I am, but sometimes it’s hard to be like that specially in a town that‘s full of closed minded people.
Maybe that’s why I’ve sometimes censored myself. Maybe I’m doing it for my own safety. Maybe I’m scared to get my face bashed into a wall because of being too gay on Facebook. If I’m not making any sense, forgive me. But I’ve just had mini-revelations in my head of why I mind my writing on public areas.
ReplyDeleteYou know what? This is why I probably also talk differently to everyone. I can’t help it. Many people are amazed at my mannerisms and diction when I talk to everyone. I don’t know any other way to put this, so I’ll just say it.
When I’m with my black friends, I talk “black.” When I’m with my white friends, I talk “white.” Now, the definitions of those, let’s call them, “dialects” are all open to your interpretations bloggers. Recently, I’ve also found myself speaking in a Hispanic accent when I talk to Hispanic people. It’s really weird. But if you’ve been around me for a good amount of time, you’ll know what I mean. What’s the reason? Well, right now I’m not sure. I have two theories. One theory is that I just subconsciously do it because I’m trying to mind my audience so that they understand me better. I’m trying to fit in, so that people would understand me. The other theory is that I do it because I’ve been exposed to so many different types of people. The constant moving throughout my life has affected the way I see people, so maybe this is me adapting to my environment. Crazy theories, I know. But it’s the only ones I have to explain this phenomenon.
What I do know thought is that it’s connected to how I want people to perceive me. Talking to teachers and adults always turns me into a person that I wouldn’t want to be thought of as naïve. Thus, this is why I change again. Which also does bring up the fact that people judge you on how you read or write. Everyone in the world would judge a person about their speech and writing abilities because it’s a way to gauge their intellectuality. I don’t agree with this entirely because sometimes people with the wildest and greatest thoughts can’t compose their thoughts on paper or in words.
Some things are just too complex and intangible to be written in stone.
We have an interesting relationship, writing and I. She helps me when I need to fume, she helps me express the million and one things running through my head, she helps me write cute (or not so cute) little letters telling someone how I feel. Maybe it’s jealousy because writing and I have always had each other, but when grades come into the picture and try to hurt my baby, well that’s when things can go awry. You see, blog writing, journal writing, notes and letters, they’re kind of my thing. I look at a prompt or spark an idea and within moments can write an entire thing, proof it once and I’m good to go. My voice shines like the sun, illuminating each sentence with glimmering little sparkles of Taylor. Like that, similes and metaphors just sort of come to me with no real effort. It’s when formalities come into play where I lose it. It’s hard when you’ve got “Taylor” bottled up so well into words, conversational and interesting words, never formal, to alter them into “I’m an essay, write me without being over the top” format. It’s difficult and I thoroughly dislike.
ReplyDeleteWell, in blog, I honestly never think too hard about who will be reading. In fact, I generally enjoy that people are reading what I write. I like making people laugh, or think, or have some form of an emotion while reading what I write. (As long as that emotion doesn’t involve “YAWNNNN”)
When it comes to conversation, I absolutely vary from group to group, in some cases, I’ll vary the way I speak from person to person. There are a few key things I gauge when deciding how to speak to someone:
• Do I like this person?
• Should I be worried about sounding nice?
• What is their mood?
• What is my relationship with this person?
Now these things will determine how I speak. If I like a person, I’m obviously going to be nicer then to someone I don’t. If I’m talking to a friend, I won’t mentally proof what I’m saying, however, if we’re in a class discussion, of course I will try to sound a little nicer. Mood is important, no matter who the person is. If they are feeling down, I have to speak sympathetically, if they are particularly bitchy, I’m gonna tell them to calm down. Last, if I’m talking to a friend I will be far more conversational then I will if I’m talking to a figure of authority. Likewise, if talking to my mom, I’m absolutely going to censor every word I say.
I say it all the time, I can be legislative, you can be executive, the rest of the world will judge. It doesn’t matter who you are writing or speaking to, they will ALWAYS judge you. I hate being judged however, it depends on the circumstances whether I appreciate the judging. If someone is judging in a good way, then break out your gavel and judge away! If it’s helpful criticism then here’s a gavel, just don’t bang it so hard. I may not love it, but I certainly take advantage of it and use it to better my writing. So I’ll just keep writing, hopefully the write way. Oh I’m soooo punny!
Writing has never been a forte of mine. I have always lacked the “creative juices” that most of my peers seem to obtain. Growing up I was always the kid that would try and draw a stick person and it would look like someone just scribbled on the paper. (Which could be the reason my handwriting is awful). Anyway, when I write I am always afraid or nervous what the reader thinks about my writing. As I grew up being compared to every move my brother made, I realized my writing was not good enough for my mother. My mother was an english teacher for most of her life and would proof read most of my papers. I would hand her freshly printed papers to review, which I thought were amazing, only to find out that what I had written was horrible. (Compared to my brothers at least.) After a numerous amount of years of this occurring, I began to give up on writing. Nothing I wrote seemed decent, and I became embarrassed by the writing I would hand in. Creating a shield for my own writing caused me to hate sharing my work with my peers, and continually have trouble proofing my own work. I enjoy writing, but I just hate it in the pressured school setting. I write things on my own at home almost every night, because I know it can never get judged or scrutinized. In school I would have to admit it is a hateful chore, but at home it is an instrument of intellectuality.
ReplyDeleteBlogs are a way for people to express themselves without actually sitting face to face with the reader. I often find myself creating a different style and diction for the blogs. School has become a competition among AP students, Who is smarter? Who gets better grades? Who knew that answer? Secretly we all want one another to fail. Most people, like myself, tend to try and act smart while writing the blogs or talking to other AP students.
I do not do it on purpose, but I talk differently to everyone. Around “AP” kids I try and act smarter than I actually am. While in conversation with athletes I try and be subtle about everything I say. In fact when first meeting people on a new team I do not talk at all. At home I watch everything I say. In front of friends I let loose. I will pretty much say anything because I know they will accept it, and probably laugh at it. There is no competition of being the smartest, it is just about being a normal person. As for Ms. Bunje, there is so much I just want to say or ask but I hold back. (For different reasons). I believe I talk differently around certain types of people because of how much I trust the person I am talking to. If I trust that they will not judge me, than I am more likely to open up and communicate without holding back or trying to change what I really want to say.
I have always wanted to be a good writer, but no aspect of writing comes natural to me. Normally, if I am bad at something I work extra hard to make it something I can brag about. The past couple of years I have given up on writing, but I am learning to try and fix this problem.
Writing is to trumpets. Words = the instruments of intellectuality, that I struggle every second of everyday to make a decent sound with, much less a sonorous melody. If my hours spent writing a few words, or my writer's block I encounter almost every three words, were to translate into anything, it would translate into hours upon hours of practice on a musical instrument. For me, writing is a brass instrument--like a trumpet or a French horn or a mellophone. I play trumpet and more than any other instrument in the brass family, constant practice is crucial to playing skillfully. The muscles of your lips must be healthy enough to vibrate swiftly and stealthily, like the muscles of a runner must be constantly trained if they want to run well. Thus after only, say, two week of no practice, brass lips will not function as well as they did before. It's a tedious; it's frustrating; and sometimes it's so aggravating that you just want to smash your trumpet on the floor. Your lips become sore, and sometimes the blood vessels in your lip burst, leaving your lips damaged, unable to play for a several weeks. And all the while, you know in your heart that you can play beautifully, but you find your lips unable to cooperate, like this brass thing punch you in the mouth.
ReplyDeleteThis is the picture of my writing. Practicing writing is the best way to become a better writer, but speaking does the same. As if I stopped playing trumpet for a long period of time, I've stopped speaking for long enough to be extremely rusty at it. Who knew my years of near silence and year of actual silence would haunt me in my writing? I stutter, I babble, and I dance around the main idea trying to find the right words or what I'm trying to say. But with the past two years, I’ve tried to heal the oozing sore I've carried along by attempting to create the harmonious sounds I know I can make. 80% of the time, I still find myself vocally at a lost for words. I need practice in speech. I feel if I don't become a better writer or speaker soon, I can just kiss my future away.
In the end, writing creates mind-cleaning, imagination-stimulating, and life-reviving music. I've come to create beautiful music from a trumpet, but have I come to so the same with words? You are the judge
For blogs, I do not write as if my peers are reading. By the third blog, I knew my posts were usually the ones people skip over. Every Thursday, I come back to the blog to read the posts, and I always find that literally nobody replies to mine. I'm not furious about, just a bit glum. So I decided because people don't find my posts a "must-read", I will write with the knowledge that nobody except Ms. Bunje will read it. I usually write my post before reading anybody else’s, because I know I’ll be swayed by their words. I write these blogs for myself and if I happen to agree with somebody else, it’s the magic of coincidence. Their opinions have not shaped my blogs for quite a while.
ReplyDeleteConversation. “AH!” is the first thought that comes to my mind when I read that section of the blog. I think everyone speaks differently to different types of people. It's just natural, even when we try not to. For instance, when a person talk to me blandly about AP tests, then turns cheerfully to the person next to her, I get infuriated. Inwardly, I'm extremely offended and enraged at how I was insulted even though the person did not realize it. Almost everyday, if I'm spoken to, I'm treated this way. Thus to the few people I speak to everyday, I do not try to change the way I speak. I try to be very neutral about it because I understand how it feels like to be upset by the way people approach you. The only people I change this to are my parents. To my parents, I tend to more silent and angst-filled only because of our history. And the atmosphere of our home has not changed for the past seven years and our relationship is one that may never be repaired.
Finally, I believe I am judged by everyone I speak to. From the tone of my voice to the rambling words I utter, people judge. These days, my goal in life is to mend and revamp one side of the equations. I could simply avoid confronting anybody all together. That didn't turn out too well. Or I could improve myself. More than ever, I’ve been desperately trying to achieve this. And I know that the only way I can do this is through practice. Thus, I speak, I hurt for a few seconds, and I get over it because in one and a half more years, I'll never see any of these people in my life. But I'll be a competent and articulate speaker.
Part One :
ReplyDeleteWriting has always been close to my heart. My articulation in writing tends to be wordy, vague and awkward, but what really draws me to writing is I can invoke so much passion into it without being wrong. Okay, so maybe I don’t receive good grades and my GPA has gone down due to my attempts at writing, but strangely enough I still view it as an instrument of intellectuality, gateway to green grass of good grades. When I was in elementary school, I swore that one day I would become a well- acclaimed author. My concepts may have been pointless, but it through my writing I felt like I could escape and create ideas on how I viewed the world or on things that really mattered to me. Writing is dear to my heart also because it was my escape for years when my life took a wrong turn. Writing has healed my but I feel has made me a stronger person but not in the sense that it has really produced eye- opening scores for me. Since taking this class my writing has gotten progressively better. Though my writing scores are not up to par, I know writing will always be in my life, so I view it as an intellectuality instrument. Though I am not yet welcomed by the gateway to green grass I feel that my avid persistence in better my writing will help me in the long run. Writing is the tool that will lead me to graduate high school; get into college and Graduate College, which to me resembles the overall green grass affect.
Part 2 :
ReplyDeleteMy true writing pieces that define me as a writer reside in the pages of my brightly colored flowered infested journal. My true voice of honesty and emotional outpour is exposed throughout each entry I add into my journal. Yes, may sound like a typical girl’s journal but what I write in there I seem to never be able to present in my writing overall. I feel like when I know I have an audience I tend to clam up and become very reserved. I think it’s because if I really was to expose the true identity of my writing I would be judged crucially. I know I sound like an awkward robot when I articulate my papers but this is to save me from judgment plus I am not very open when it comes to my personal life. I am definitely cautious about my spelling because honestly it’s atrocious. My diction is always infested with connotation that contains joyfulness and a positive feel. I do this because of how I am characterized as a positive high- spirited person therefore I feel whenever I write to an audience I always need to portray that character.
Though my true writing doesn’t resemble the writing I release to the public, the way I converse with people even if they are from diverse social groups stays consistent. Generally, the way I speak in class or in any other situation you have heard me talk to others is the way I talk to everyone. The way I talk is often considered “valley girl” by step-dad and that’s how I approach everyone with. Trust me, I have tried to adapt AP vocabulary into my conversations when I talk to AP kids but have failed and for the girls on the track team I tried the slang approach with the urban dictionary aiding me through the process but that didn’t quite work out either. So in every situation I approach I am the peppy “valley girl” that could sometimes say either insightful things or ask questions that require common sense which if you haven’t realize I have none of! It amazes that people seem to adapt to how certain people talk but for me I have always been the same consistent conversationalist with everyone I encounter.
I mentioned before that I am a very reserved person, but I feel I am only reserved in AP classes. At home and with friends I am a free spirited. Everyone I feel expresses themselves so thoroughly and detailed that they really grasp who they truly are. The AP kids judging from the blogs write with such a leisurely but cohesive flow that presents their point and purpose clearly. This is why I never want to read my papers aloud and I think before what I say because honestly I don’t want my “valley girl” personality to shine through. I want to sound intelligent and insightful, so when questions are probed I insure I have all my bearings together before I divulge my overall insight. I am a very paranoid person, so if something I say or write sounds ridiculously stupid I think people are evaluating my intelligence and on their scale my level of intelligence sinks lower and lower. I honestly believe a lot of my peers believe I am not at the correct caliber of intelligence. This is why it’s really hard for me to gain confidence because I always feel there are judging eyes that are ready to tear me down. Sometimes, I don’t let glaring eyes influence me because sometimes I impulsively I have to write and say what I have to say even if it makes me look like a complete fool.
Stephanie:
ReplyDeleteWhen I read “the way you speak to a college dean decides whether you get accepted or not,” I literally cried out a huge whine. In the short run, this is the reason I want to improve my writing and speech. I mentioned this in my blog indirectly because I would have probably felt a bit morose after talking about my future. You and I and all the kids in our Lang classes all have stunning futures ahead of us. Still, it stresses me to think about how much I have to improve in such a short time. Can you believe we’ll be finished applying to colleges in less than a year?!
Deanna:
You call writing your eternal friend and I thought it was funny because I see writing as an enemy that I must befriend to succeed. In my own world, I like thoughts more than writing. But I understand that thoughts and concepts are meaningless for the rest of the world unless they are spoken or written. I need to become friends with writing so my glorious ideas can shine in the world like they were supposed to be. Also, I wish I had the many outlets you have to speak to people. When I thought about all the people you tell me you talk to, I get jealous because you have people to explain, for instance, why you hate men. I just don’t have that. I guess it’s alright since I have writing!
JV:
ReplyDeleteI think it’s amazing how you are able to write in your journal everyday. I’ve tried so hard, but I usually end up writing the most in my less-busy periods: during the summer, during winter break, a scattered time period throughout the spring. Also, when you say “Everyone in the world would judge a person about their speech and writing abilities because it’s a way to gauge their intellectuality. I don’t agree with this entirely because sometimes people with the wildest and greatest thoughts can’t compose their thoughts on paper or in words.” I completely agree because if someone were to talk to me, they would probably think I’m the most unintelligent person in the school. I can’t help that I like thoughts more than words. But it doesn’t mean that a person’s ability to think translates into a person’s ability to write / speak. This is probably why I don’t’ write in my journals as I want. I spend so much more time wondering about everything.
Writing is like up there on the highest totem pole of knowledge, right next to reading, for me. I love to write. Ever since I was a child I loved writing (sometimes on walls) and with each writing I'd have an illustration. Until now when I'm thinking about writing (especially the pile of poetry I wrote) I need to express it somehow in an abstract art. Though I love to write and express all that I feel in a level of words that the common person would understand, I'm not very good at it. When I moved to Oakcrest I realized I really really wasn't as good of a writer I thought I was. So? I thought I'd take up some science major...SYKE! (That's like asking me to Striptease off my scarf somehow in a sexy way O_o) & Why am I not changing my writing road to another I might excel at? Well simple, because I want to do what I love. Plus Bunj gave me a good couple words of advice which convinced me even more to stick by it. Wether I get an award for it one day, make a difference, or even baby diaries for my children, I want writing in my life. I think a large part of that is because I talk a lot, as you can see in the blogs, as for these blogs being public ( which I did not know until now..) doesn't bother me much because what I share maybe about friends, or family is not putting their personal information out there and my parents don't care if people know their life story. It might seem I tend to share a lot but if anyone notices my public emotion is always in a nervous laugh or smile which is the best way I usually try to cover my real reaction. It's not about trust, but more of the idea I like privacy in my thoughts. I don't mind sharing stories, but I believe if I keep some information or thoughts back then they'll be valuable and my little secret. How I write.... Geez!Talk about the most informal writer out there? I write, obviously, like I'm in a conversation, like I'm just chilling, talking on the phone maybe, and my biggest mistake, which absolutely takes away from my Ap essays and SAT, is that I somehow unconsciously put my opinion, point of view, or feeling into my writing that sometimes shouldn't be there. I have a horrid disease called "run-on sentences" but it's usually I'm trying to cram all this related information into one piece. I try to write as correct as possible though, so a point is made and related to hopefully, but not formal because who honestly talks to someone like that. (Sorry if you do!) I try to limit my curse and/ or bad in appropriate words which I seriously need help on... can someone give me a list of words not to say? (better include pussy).
ReplyDeleteI don't like to use a higher extent of vocabulary if I know the person in front of me isn't going to comprehend it and might think I'm trying to show off. Sometimes I don't realize it and I notice my friend that's taking a low level of english is looking at me uncomfortable and stops me to ask what something means. I explain and they're thankful, which is great because they don't mind learning. Sometimes though I see that they don't want to ask because they're embarrassed, which they shouldn't be, but who am I to put them in that position? I simply can't, I might give them advice but I can't criticize something they can't really help or like. I wouldn't like one of my family members trying to push science or mathematical equations down my throat until i go them. I like to talk as human and average as possible so I can relate to the average, but as soon as I speak to someone of a higher position or an interview of course I'll speak more formally but my thoughts will be the same. Maybe I wont say "Oo that sucks" and say "Oo that situation was unfortunate." about a mini crisis. At the end of the day, it sucked. As three of George Orwell's (Love'im) six rules of effective writing state:
ReplyDelete1) Never use a long word where a short one will do. Long words don’t make you sound intelligent unless used skillfully.
5) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6) Break any of these rules sooner than saying anything outright barbarous. This bonus rule is a catch all. Above all, be sure to use common sense.
I do speak differently to different people. I went to AC, I know I know, I know exactly the what most people think of that.. If I speak to my Ap friends from there, it will be the same as here, maybe more comfortable because they know me better. If I speak to my lunch group there, I will not use the same language. I admit it, my tone even changes sometimes. It's not a different "Manar". No, it's still me, it's still my thoughts, but I put them in a different way to be viewed and related to by a different group. I feel it's necessary. I don't speak to Bunje the same way I speak to Pooja, Simon, or Sarah at lunch... I will watch my words and approach not because I respect her more, I respect everyone the same but because she receives a different type of respect. Same as my siblings, we use colorful and very uhm..out there? type of words to express our unconditional loveeee to each other :) When I tell my sister, Don't be bitchy, I will not go to my mom and say the same thing. I might say "Mom, stop being mean or picking on me." If I text my sister or brother I'll most likely text like this, "Nah chill wth? cant yu get me now?" while texting my mom it will be like this, "No, could you pick me up now?" I might even squeeze a thank you and please.
I don't text like "y0 WaZZ G00d; LyKe PiK Meh uP Ma H0M$KiLL." That's ridiculous. I will reasonably abbreviate, and use slang just because it's easier but it's used with limits.
ReplyDeleteI do believe through speaking and writing we are judged.. I do judge because I'm human and I tend to do that. It doesn't justify it though. I don't think we should be. I know some schools and schools I've actually went to where the teaching part isn't really taught. Teachers would like to get the paycheck and not care if the students get anything out of the class, therefore I can't blame a boy coming from the inlet and not speaking with correct english or spelling. I do think though that if you had the opportunity to know better yet you speak in a certain incorrect way to show for something then that annoys me. I will probably try to avoid conversation with you but in the end of the day it is your choice. People might read how I write and think I'm not intelligent or have knowledge capacity and that would be judging but I can't stop them and I'm not changing.. It's life. When people hear my mom's accent they think she's dumb, their lost. They might look and hear my dad's odd accent and sometimes whisper "Look at that goombah." Well it bothers me but it shows that they judged before knowing my dad isn't an italian or a thug. It's inevitable and we just deal with it and that's why I try not to judge.
my blogs need shortening help...
So which is it for me, the stalker or the gateway? Honestly, it’s kind of hard to tell. I don’t mind writing, given I have time to sit down and do it. The only reason writing feels like a hateful chore and burden on my grade is because I don’t seem to have enough time! Busy schedules suck. No offense but the last thing I would like to do at the end of the day (which always seems to be getting later and later) is sit in front of this bright screen and induce carpal tunnel via keyboard to write. Getting to bed late every night sucks. Or should I say morning?!
ReplyDeleteIf I were not tired when I sat down to do my work, my writing would be a thousand times better (no hyperbole intended...). Which is why writing, for me, has become the stalker for my GPA. Writing is not hard if you can take the time to really sit down and do it; sometimes you have to make the time. Hell, I haven’t done math homework yet this year. Lack of time for homework causes me to choose the most important assignment and get it done, and one hundred percent of the time, it’s Lang.
It doesn’t matter who I am writing for. If I write it here, there’s a ninety-nine point nine percent chance I’ll say it out loud at one point or another, or I already have. The only difference I’ve noticed in my writing for the blogs is that I do not write as formally here, and I usually use a playful or humorous tone (at least, I try), unless it is an angrier or deeper kind of topic. As I sit here and write this, like any other blog, I notice that it is basically my thoughts flowing from my brain out onto the keyboard; there is no intended tone or style in mind, it just happens. Everything else has a more formal and well thought-out approach.
I try to be the same to everyone, but of course, I can’t always be. Whether I’m at crew, my best friends’ houses, or even room 204, I speak the same, or mostly the same. I may be a little more care-free with my friends, but that is for a few different reasons. One being that when it’s just me and my friends, we aren’t out in public, and so we go crazy. When I talk to you, I am more subdued, because I do want to be taken seriously, and I would like you to actually understand what I am saying (imagine everything I say to you about five times faster and a little loopier- that’s me with my friends). And I only change around certain members of my family.
I do so because I feel they don’t actually know me, and honestly, I don’t really want them to. My dad is great, I love him, but he takes a lot of things too seriously (ironically enough, he is a very funny guy and laughs just as much as I do). He has high standards, and I feel as though I may not exactly meet them, and so I conduct myself differently around him. I don’t want anything to do with my “mother” and so I barely talk to her. And my younger sister and I just don’t get along... so not much talking there either. Those people definitely judge me on my speech and writing, so why give them anything to judge? Even if their opinions have no effect on me, I do not want to waste my time listening to them. I don’t want to deal with it!
Manar, I love your writing! I read it and it did feel like a conversation, as though the two of us were chilling in Bunj's room again talking about boys and best friends and whatever else we talked about! I like the way you think too, because we kind of see things the same way. Oh, and if you really need a list of words not to say, hit me up in school tomorrow :) haha.
ReplyDeleteTaylor: I looove your writing too. You definitely get me laughing, which is awesome! :) Okay so it's not that hard to make me laugh, but still. I can definitely realte to the whole formality thing too, that stuff's hard. But I know you'll be able to figure it out :)
Kelsey: You can do it! Haha. After reading your blog I saw things in a new way. For me, blogs are easy, but now I can definitely understand why it isn't for some people. It must suck that you lost faith in your writing, but honestly, I know you'll be able to fix it because you are really good at everything you do, so why should writing end up any different? :)
Writing: love it or hate it? It depends.
ReplyDeletePerhaps I’m in the Oakcrest halls, letting my feet take me automatically to my next class, or maybe I have just found a drop-dead gorgeous palomino for sale while browsing online horse ads. Whatever the occasion, my mind is at work. As I move through the hall, I’m planning the week with the same method as an algebra student would use to complete a combination or permutation problem: how many different ways could I arrange my after-school life? (“When can do my blog? Should I study chem. tonight, or will I have to push that back to tomorrow? How can I get the most sleep? Should I ride today? What if it rains?”). When I think I’ve found my “horse of a lifetime”, sets of sentences focused on encouraging my parents that the horse really is worth taking a look at flow through my brain, each a revised version of the last, each taking into careful consideration Mom and Dad’s possible reactions and opposing arguments. Whenever I feel bored, need to persuade, have an assignment due, or see or hear something that triggers me to react in some way, I think, usually doing so in coherent sentences that my mind constantly revises to make them as effective as possible. The problem comes when I try to write.
On some days, or with certain writing tasks, I write as naturally as I breathe. Words flow as effortlessly in a river of black ink from my pen (or a steady rain of typed characters on the computer screen). Take, for instance, my OP. When I wrote my OP, I was POed (hahaha, get it? OP PO?... ha? ha? never mind), scared, confused, frustrated, and a million other unhappy adjectives. Since it was an OP, and thus not formally graded like most papers, I just wrote, fairly well without a ton of attention paid to technicalities. It got late, actually 2AM-ish early, but my words continued to flow. Same goes when I write poetry, a feeling sparks an idea that melts smoothly into words. But for many formal writing assignments? I get way stressed, and force myself to examine every concept I put into words and the mechanics and potential effects of all sentences with extreme care. The latter is not necessarily a bad thing, but I take so much time to get my thoughts in order, then arrange them into a paper that pleases me, that I become frustrated with the entire process. Those are the hate moments.
How I write for a public audience depends on of whom the audience is comprised. For OPs, my writing is pretty informal and barely censored, since although I know I will read my writing in front of the class, I’m more or less comfortable with that and Ops are graded in such a way that I don’t have to stress over mechanics much. For blogs, I write more formally then for Ops, taking considerable time to plan, structure, write and rewrite my response. I definitely do think about how others will view my response, but I usually do respond with exactly the same concepts included as would be if no one would see my response, just worded differently (and, yes, with attention to grammar, diction, et cetera) to change how readers perceive my response, the impression it leaves of me, et cetera. Interestingly enough, though time consuming, blogs aren’t nearly as stressful as writing a paper (even though a far more diverse audience reads my blogs). My best guess is because I often feel like a blog is a sort of diary entry; it gives me a chance to express my thoughts and learn a bit more about my character… and to include colloquialisms that I would leave out of formal writing.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, with friends, the main difference in how I talk to different “groups” is really just conversation topic. I suppose that, however, I’m a bit peppier around some individual people, uninspired around others, but that depends on the person, not whether he or she is an “AP kid” or a “horse person” or whatever. Family, though, is another story. I’m a lot deeper with my parents, sharing ideas, dreams, frustrations, you name it. That’s because I really “know” my family. I trust them and accept them, and they accept me, so I’m comfortable sharing with them what I would not be with others.
Just about everyone judges me—and everyone else—on writing and speaking ability, whether they do so consciously or not. How well I present an argument to my parents determines whether or not I have a shot at getting my way. My tone and word choice determines whether or not a super-rule-conscious teacher forgives me for, say, wearing flip-flops. My ability to speak or write effectively decides whether who I’m talking to thinks me a fool or considers me an intellectual being, trustworthy confidant, fun friend, et cetera. While I’m not especially comfortable with this, and I try to take care to present myself as accurately and favorably as possibly (or in the manner that a given situation deems necessary), I do think that it is fair to be judged on writing and speaking ability. It’s near impossible to truly know a person unless you can communicate with them in some way, and writing and speaking are perfect communication tools.
Kelsey:
ReplyDelete“Blogs are a way for people to express themselves without actually sitting face to face with the reader. I often find myself creating a different style and diction for the blogs.”
For me, the “without sitting face to face with the reader” part is really important. While I’m not the best at articulating myself in conversation with actual people, talking to a computer screen (albeit one which others will read) is quite do-able. Like you wrote, I also have a different style for my blogs. While I try to write effectively, with powerful language, interesting syntax, et cetera, my blogs are more conversational than formal papers and more candid than spoken conversations.
Taylor:
“In fact, I generally enjoy that people are reading what I write. I like making people laugh, or think, or have some form of an emotion while reading what I write.”
Oddly enough (seeing as I’m not especially fond of speaking in front of the class), I like writing for an audience, too. If I’m not super exhausted, I have fun weaving words to share my thoughts with classmates. Also, blogs give me more of a chance to experiment with language than formal papers, an avenue in which I can more or less safely take literary risks, which can be fun, as well.
Kyra:
ReplyDelete“Hell, I haven’t done math homework yet this year. Lack of time for homework causes me to choose the most important assignment and get it done, and one hundred percent of the time, it’s Lang.”
I have the same thing going on. I don’t mean at all to sound like a whiny ________ or a you-shouldn’t-do-AP-if –you-can’t-handle –it ________ (fill in the blank), but nonstop work from every AP/honors class, a desire to incorporate an extracurricular activity or two into my life, the necessity of helping provide for the human and (mostly) non-human (Rusty, Shiloh <3) members of my family, and my severe lack of sleep has left me feeling physically and mentally sick. Like “if I have another night where I only sleep for 3 hours or less I’m going to literally throw up, then sit in the corner and rock and forth back singing the Pythagorean theorem to the tune of “Pop Goes the Weasel” till someone takes me away” sort of sick. Maybe I can’t handle it, maybe I shouldn’t be here, but I have to try or I won’t live with myself. As I told a friend today, I’m still breathing, so I’ll keep marching on.
Kelsey,
ReplyDeleteFirst, I laughed at the fact that you can admit that you don't have the ability to draw stick figures. :)
Second, I don't know from experience being the oldest out of three kids, but I think that it's probably so hard to live up to a sibling's accomplishments like that. I'd be so discouraged but I'm glad that you can still find some time at night just like me to write stuff down.
Shirley,
ReplyDeleteI really like the fact that you still incorporated what you love, which is playing instruments, into what you're describing. It's really great to on how you can compare your speaking with not practicing an instrument for a long amount of time. I like your idea and your mindset of trying to speak more so that in your future you'll be well articulated.
Taylor,
ReplyDeleteYour blog response has Taylor glittered all over it. I'm jealous of how similes and metaphors can just come into your head at ease. I'm also very amazed at the fact that your blog's diction and style help me recognize that you wrote this. That this is Taylor. Finally, I really like the points that you made whether to decide on how to talk to other people. Snaps for you Tay. Snaps for you.
JV, I think that I understand everything you are saying in your blog post. It's sort of like I've been there, just my situation is different. Being afraid to show who you are, or specifically in my case, angry to the point of fury that I have been repressed and lied to so that I would be easier to manage as someone other than myself.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for speaking differently for different groups, I do that to an extent - because I was taught to. I have no inherent ability to understand social cues, so I've needed to take what are basically classes on social interaction, and I've found that if you provide subtle ways to have something in common with someone, it lends to your clarity.
Kale: I love your intro. I often was the person you tried so hard to explain why you hated men. I remember that night I slept over and listened to you try and try and after each sentence you would say that what you had just said was not how you felt at all. I wish i could be like you and write as well as you do. Your writing and speech is off the charts, at least in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteJessie: Even though it has nothing to do with this blog, something in your blog made me feel a little mroe normal. That fact that you are debating in your head whether you will have time or feel like studying for chem when you get home... It is just exactly how I feel as well.
Shirley- Thanks for commenting on my blog. When people comment, it always makes me feel like I have written something worth someone else's time. In short, it makes me feel really good. I can honestly say, I am terrified of next year. I am no where near ready to start filling out applications. I already know where I am going to end up and what I want to do, but the whole process scares me. I do not think I am as well rounded in my acedemics as everyone else aroud me. Worrys me a bit, I would rather not think about it. Thanks for commenting
Deanna Nardy~
ReplyDelete"The way I write never changes depending on the audience."
Being entirely honest here, I tend to disagree with your blogs. I'm not personally attacking you, we just differ in opinion. I have that problem with a lot of people, so please don't take it personally. Even so, I kind of liked this blog. I have to give you credit for the way you write. It seems like whatever is on your mind you jot down. It's...untainted. That I like.
Jessie Bacha ~
ReplyDelete"But for many formal writing assignments? I get way stressed, and force myself to examine every concept I put into words and the mechanics and potential effects of all sentences with extreme care."
You spoke about how sometimes the writing flows, mostly because you aren't worried or concerned about the technical BS but about the topic, such as the OP (and by the way I had to laugh at the OP/POed thing. Its just me). Just mirror that over to an essay. If you don't care how dr. so and so composed his essay on the study of whatever then just pretend like you do. Fix the technicalities later. You seem like you have a pretty good grasp on how to write, so stop worrying and do it.
Kelsey- I have to comment on your drawing ability. One word: "moose" How can you stare at that beautiful piece of artwork every day and still think you're not creative? Kelsey kelsey kelsey....
ReplyDeleteAnd I think I've given up on writing the whole 3 years I've been in high school, especially last year when I was in a joke of a class. It's so hard to write sometimes!
Brynne
ReplyDelete"Writing is dear to my heart also because it was my escape for years when my life took a wrong turn."
I've so been there. My work back in grade school, for lack of a better word, sucked. However, it helped me, so I can't hate it entirely. I've read your work, Brynne, and I've said before that your thoughts are in the right place, its just the sentences that get you. I love that you know that already. I also love that you want to work hard to get your writing to the level it can reach, and once you do you're going to be writing some damn good books.
For me, writing definitely isn't my gateway to good grades. Actually, it's far from that... I'm not the best writer since I have a hard time trying to say write what I'm thinking in my head. It takes me forever to spit out one idea so I just rely on facts and stuff like that to make it easier for the people to understand what the heck I'm talking about.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, when I write blogs I don't really let other people's thoughts or opinions change what I'm about to say. I'm not really that conscious of grammar or anything like that because I'm not afraid to be judged by the people in AP Lang. I'm sure what I write isn't going to change their opinion of me. If anything, it will just add to the reasoning of why they think something of me. For example, if someone thinks I'm a funny person, they will point out that what I wrote made them laugh. Or if they think I'm stupid, they will think my blogs are poorly written and pointless. Either way, nobody's opinion of me will really change at all because of what I write.
I think everyone talks differently to their groups of friends. Obviously some groups are more important than others, which means there is more trust involved. If I am really close with the person and if I'm not scared of what they'll think of me, I'm open up more to them. I communicate with them in all types of ways, depending on how I'm feeling. In AP classes, I know that I'm not the smartest of the group, so I don't try to be any smarter then I know I am. This way I prevent anyone from thinking that I'm trying to be intellectual when they know that I'm not as smart as I sound.
In sports, the way I talk is determined by the team I'm on. If it's my travel team that is more serious, then I am very quite because I don't want to get in trouble by the coach. But when I do talk I am sure to be myself in order to reflect my personality so people don't think I'm some quite freak. For Oakcrest soccer, I am very open with the team because I feel like we are a big family. However, this openness is different than the what I have in my real family. I can't really joke around that much with my dad because he's very hard to read. I don't really talk to him that much. Around my brother I can say whatever I want because he is a lot like me and we're really close in age, plus he can't punish me like my dad can.
I'm not even going to mention how I talk to my “party friends” because they all fall under the categories of sports or close friends, and I don't want to get yelled at for anything so......... yeah. But as for talking to Ms Bunje, I really don't change how I talk to impress her or anything because I think she knows who I am by now and there's no getting around that by changing my vocabulary.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKyra- Your first paragraph pretty much summed up junior year. If there was more time to work on writing or calc, maybe our grades would not be as bad. Busy schedules do suck, but the fact that we get through it with some sort of decency in our writing has to say something. “Those people definitely judge me on my speech and writing, so why give them anything to judge?” What an excellent point! It is hard to deal with being judged on everything you do in life. If you end up not caring what people think things work out for the best. They work out the way you truly wanted it to.
ReplyDeleteHannah- Good choice leaving out the “party friends” :) Everything you stated in your blog is what I was trying to say, but really could not. “I'm not the best writer since I have a hard time trying to say write what I'm thinking in my head.” I hate when I have a picture painted in my head and it never turns out how I envisioned. (Like the moose). My travel hockey team I seriously never talk at practice but at Oak I never shut up. I guess we can owe that characteristic to self-control.
ReplyDeleteBunje, I love you for this blog. I just had this discussion with my dear old dad. Amazing timing.
ReplyDeleteI love writing, even those irritating process analysis papers. Every paper tells me so much about how much I’ve learned and what I need to improve on. The words that come to me get written; I don’t try or brainstorm for an hour. I just go, but I think that’s the cool part. Because when I just go, what’s going is the things I’m honestly learning and retaining, not the lesson of the week (or day). And even cooler is the fact that its better each time I write, and that’s just my school work! I write at home, short stories and the inklings of not so short ones, and even THAT, the fiction work that I do when I’m pissed, bored, or just feeling creative, has seen a ridiculous improvement. The way I LOOK at other writing has changed; I process it, analyze it, learn from it and critique it. I weed out its hidden snares and contemplate exactly what is goin down. I’m slowly becoming a geek, but I like it. I’m learning so effortlessly in this class. That combined with some effort is pretty freakin awesome.
As for the public, they get what everyone gets, don’t try to feel special. I never think about my audience, except the obvious “well they shouldn’t be bored to the point that stabbing their fingers with sporks sounds like a better idea than reading my paper” considerations. It would be far too difficult to try to switch up my natural “flow” for those of you who kinda sorta can’t stand how I write. Don’t read it if you don’t like it. I say what I mean and I write how I am. Always.
When I speak, I keep my sarcasm in nearly all situations where it is appropriate, but occasionally I’ll monitor the diction. Only those who I respect or really need to win over get that luxury. Bunje happens to fall into the respect category, and my family hits the win over button. Everyone else can take me (or drop me……..…like I’m hot =]) how I am. I NEVER EVER EVER lower my vocabulary for ANYONE. I just answer the “what does that mean” questions and move on.
I try to ignore the fact that I’m judged on a momently basis. That is not why I fix my language or am conscious of my gram mar at certain moments. If my speaking is perfect, something else isn’t. I’ve just about given up on that. People use just about every aspect of a person to judge them, language included. Any new face sizing you up is going to take your tone and diction into that judgment, so its whatever. I deal with it.
JV- I’ve watched you add to your journal almost everyday in Calc and I am not going to lie I have always wanted to know what they say. I envy your writing and the way you express your creativity and thoughts behind every subject.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed that you do talk differently with other groups of people, but there is nothing wrong with that. It could be a way you help yourself “fit in,” but trust me you would fit in without changing your dialect. Just keep being yourself. (and saying hi to mr. lockwood.)
“Some things are just too complex and intangible to be written in stone.” Very excellent way to end the blog, it got me thinking…
JV- You're like the most creative person I know and you're writing is always so you!!!!! I get jealous when I read what you wrote because compared to mine, it's God. And I'm like exactly the opposite, because to my black friends I talk white so they don't think I'm racist and to my white friends we will joke around about talking black or whatever. It's weird..
ReplyDeleteWriting…it’s definitely the stalker waiting to destroy my GPA but it’s also the best friend that I absolutely count on. It all depends on why I’m writing or what it’s for. When I’m writing a paper for school, it usually takes the form of the stalker. It’s not that I hate writing, it’s more of the fact that I feel like everything and anything I write is never good enough. I can sit down and try to write a paper but I always find myself running into some kind of problem. I can’t find the write words, my sentences are weak, it’s boring…basically anything and everything seems to go wrong. Nothing seems to flow and instead I find myself sitting around a half hour later still trying to think of something to say. I do have those moments though where I find myself writing about something that I am really interested in and then things just sort of flow. Writing does play the best friend role for me sometimes but that would be when I am writing in my journal or just writing for me. It helps me if and when I bottle up my emotions and need to get them out at that very moment.
ReplyDeleteI’ve found myself typing things out on my phone and then erasing it instead of sending it to any of my friends. It serves as a way of venting when I have too much on my mind. The way I write does change depending on whether it is public or private. When it’s public I try to edit it and fix various things and I restrict certain ideas for various reasons. When it’s private, it just flows because I know nobody else will read it so they won’t get the chance to judge me on that specific thing. How I speak to others usually depends on who I am talking to. I do tend to change how I speak depending on how comfortable I am around the person. When I’m around my family and close friends I don’t really put restrictions on what I say because they know me and I know they won’t judge me if I say something that sounds silly or makes no sense at all. When I’m around other friends and teachers I tend to watch what I say. My personality stays the same as I talk to different people but the way I communicate my thoughts and ideas and what I decide to talk about changes. The only time I really change is when I either do not know anyone or I am severely uncomfortable. In this case I keep to myself and choose not to speak. Of course, I’m judged on that. I’ve had people tell me that they thought I was either a good, shy girl or a stuck up bitch before they actually got to know me. So if people judge me when I don’t talk I know they are most likely judging me when I do. It makes me feel slightly uncomfortable as my writing skills need A LOT of improvement and my speaking skills could use some improvement too. A major part of that could be my confidence level. I’m not confident in my writing or speaking but I’m working on that. I think no matter what people will always judge each other but I’ll try not to let that affect me as much and I’ll continue working to improve my writing skills. I think that the stalker and the best friend will always coincide but it’s a love-hate relationship. I love it. I hate it. I can’t live without it.
ReplyDeleteBrynne—“Writing is the tool that will lead me to graduate high school; get into college and Graduate College, which to me resembles the overall green grass affect.”
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. Writing can get a person very far and it can determine so many things. In the end writing is a great tool to have on your side as it can help you through so many things throughout your life. It could have such a positive impact on life if it is really embraced.
Kyra—When I’m lacking the time to do homework I do the same thing, I get my Lang homework done and try to get to the rest of my homework the next day if I get the chance. I usually get brain block when I’m really tired so I end up taking a lot longer to finish assignments. That definitely plays a role in why writing can seem like the stalker after my GPA sometimes.
Taylor—“So I’ll just keep writing, hopefully the write way. Oh I’m soooo punny!”
First of all that really made me laugh and it’s really cute =). Your writing is really good and is always interesting. Your voice is so apparent in your writing and it makes it really hard to ever yawn at anything you write.
Part One
ReplyDeleteWriting is the bane of my existence. It’s a hateful chore. It’s a dreadful stalker lying in wait to destroy my lofty GPA. It’s behind the brown, diaphanous dead bush standing on its two feet with its arched back and bent knees, waiting to run dart up when I pass by, shoot me in the head, and stab me ten times for safety. I hate writing. I hate writing not because it deflates my floating GPA, although that does affect how I feel, but mostly because writing sucks.
Writing takes too much time. It requires too much thought. It’s a boring burden I am often obliged to bear. This part is wordy. This part is confusing. This paragraph doesn’t belong. This verb is too weak. This verb is too strong. This is lacking transition. This is awkward. Well, you know what? This consumed several hours and my brain—so shut up, love my writing, and engrave the letter A with the symbol + into the top of my paper using a fat, red sharpie. And if you don’t love my writing, well then, it just consumed my heart too.
Writing is too shady. There are countless ways to say, “I am angry,” and thinking of the best way to say it is too frustrating, thought provoking, and damn hard. I don’t care if writing allows me to express myself. If expressing myself unleashes the Hulk in me, then I rather express nothing and write nothing. I have never really written anything longer than a page that wasn’t school-related—except for once. I hate writing. Give me pencil and paper to write on, and I’d much rather burn them for warmth instead.
Knowing that I am writing for a public audience—especially in the eyes of my peers—influences my words greatly. I share only what I’m comfortable with. You can be sure that you won’t read about anything too embarrassing, You’ll never read about anything that paints a picture of me that I don’t want painted, or anything that sheds light upon things that I want to remain dark, or anything I simply don’t want you to know about me.
How I write, however, is not affected by the fact that my writing is public. How I write only indicates how good of a writer I am. I’m not as worried about the structure and grammar as I am with the content of what I write. People will only either like or dislike my writing style based on how I write. People will either like or dislike me based on what I write. I don’t care how I say something. I care about what I say.
Part Two
ReplyDeleteI find myself speaking differently with every group of friends. Sometimes this group could be one person. Depending on the group, I talk with a different diction, syntax, and tone. To my best of friends, I may greet, “Yo!” To teachers and parents, I might say, “Hey” To my normal friends, I may say, “Hey! Hey!” To my brother, I might say, “Sup, bitch.” Why do I talk differently with different people? Well, I guess it’s because I want to be perceived differently by different people. I want this group to see my as smarter, and so I converse accordingly. I want this group to see me as “cooler,” and so I chat accordingly. I want this group to see me as principled and virtuous, and so I speak accordingly. I want this group to see me as innocent, and so I talk accordingly. I want this group to see me as funny, and so I yak accordingly.
I am definitely judged on how I speak and write. I judge other people on how they speak and write, and so it’s only logical that they judge me, right? Just from a person’s first sentence, I begin to make assumptions on their character, personalities, hobbies, and friends. If they talk with a lot of slang, I assume that they are “gangster.”If they talk with big words then I assume they are smart and placed in higher level classes. If they talk with a lot of curse words, I assume they are uneducated. If I make assumptions based on the speech of other people, then I am sure people make assumptions based on my speech. I have an idea of different possible assumptions made about different types of speech, and I thus change my speech from group to group.
People judge me less on my writing, but they do so nonetheless. There are two types of writing—bad writing and good writing. If I write well, then people will see me as smart. But if I write badly, people will see me as stupid. Some people may not even judge me at all as they may only judge my writing. They won’t make any assumptions on the author and will only criticize or praise the writing. This group of people is composed of usually friends. Since my friends already know me, they are less likely to judge my intelligence based on my writing. They will instead maintain their opinion of my knowledge and only change or add to their opinion of my writing.
I feel, because of the different assumptions people make based on writing and speech, that writing and speech are more important than most people think. I feel I need to speak more intelligently and write more effectively if I am to make it where I want to in life.
Stephanie: Thanks so much for your comment. It made my smile and day (ßZeugma?!). Regarding your blog, I found everything you said completely understandable. Your dad is stricter than your friends so the change is appropriate. Everyone gets better at writing and speaking with experience. Thus, don’t make it seem like you’re doomed to only wish to be better. Stephanie, you know I love you and I’m positive you’ll be able to write and speak as eloquently as you want. :] With AP Lang as a class, you sort of have no choice but to!
ReplyDeleteKelsey: “The past couple of years I have given up on writing, but I am learning to try and fix this problem.” With Ms Bunje’s class, you have no choice :P You’ve mentioned your shyness and fear of rejection and judgment many times before, and every time it never ceases to surprise me. When I think of Kelsey Cheek, I think of the most outgoing, athletic, intelligent girl. In all my year of school drama and pointless gossip, not once have I ever heard anything negative said about you. People like you, Kelsey. I like you. Be confident :D
Shirley: Shirley, I NGO you can do it! You have many people you could talk to for explaining the deeper parts of your personality. Sometimes, I think, you focus too hard on the destination, on the ending, and don’t give people a chance, thus not giving you a chance to experience people. For instance, if you don’t see a person as an asset, then you rule them out. I’m not saying that’s a horrible thing though: some people are just a waste of time, especially for your potential. But open up just a wee bit more! As for your blog, I’ve always thought of you as a great writer. As fast as writing becomes your enemy, I feel that you overcome it quickly enough to make it an advantage to your already astonishing resume.
Kelsey,
ReplyDeleteOh I definitely will greet Mr. Lockwood in further occasions. I'll need to say something along the lines of "Hey Ging..."
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteThanks girl. :)
Manar- I loved your blog! Seriously, it really spoke so much truth. I totally agree with you about the whole slang texting thing. I hardly ever do it either, I never really abbreviate much. I also like how you admitted that you dont like to talk with a scholary vocabulary because you wouldnt want someone to throw a math equation done your throat. I have never thought of talking that highly like that and it's a really good perspective that I will talk to mind. What I really like is how you may write a lot but everything you say is meaningful and entertaining, so never apologize because you have great insight!
ReplyDeleteI have a tendency to write in simplistic terms, much like the second phrase Bunj posted. I hate how I write. I aspire to write like the last phrase, in which she uses imagery to bring the sentence alive. I can never seem to word things as beautifully as my peers, but I have confidence that I will one day. Over time my writing style will mature into brilliant language that will earn me A’s in my college English courses.
ReplyDeleteIn the beginning of the year, we talked about logos, pathos, and ethos. Bunje said that if we can master these three tequniques, we can make our audience believe what we want them to. By appealing to these three guidelines, we can persuade even the strongest opposition. When I speak or write in public, though I am not, literally, thinking to myself, “I need to appeal to the pathos of the audience,” in the back of my mind, I try to relate to the person I’m speaking to. As horrible as it sounds, I twist words around to manipulate peoples’ perception of me.
Tone is a big aspect of how I can get people to think what I want them to. If I’m talking to a friend who is mad at me, I’ll have a morose and sorry tone. I want them to know that whatever I did, I’m truly sorry for. If I’m talking to someone I hate, I’ll either take on an apathetic tone like I couldn’t care less what they’re saying, or a sardonic tone to make them feel like an idiot. If I’m writing a style analysis paper, for example, I’ll take
ReplyDeleteon a scholarly tone and try and sound like I know what I’m talking about. Because I’m not particularly amazing at creating imagery when I write and talk, I rely heavily on tone to get my message across.
I feel like sometimes I have to censor what I say in front of certain people. Some people who I’m talking to aren’t supposed to know something a friend told me, so I have to make sure I’m consciously avoiding telling them. When I’m talking to a teacher, I would never curse. I censor myself based on what I find appropriate and who I’m taking to.
When I talk to different cliques, I feel like I don’t speak that much differently to them all. There are some slight variations based on inside jokes we tell, but it’s not all that different. This is why I don’t get along with a couple different types of people. I just act and speak like myself most of the time and sometimes, it doesn’t mesh with who I’m talking to. When I find out a group of people doesn’t like the way I talk or act, I don’t change it. I honestly don’t care. I’ve gone through three volleyball seasons so far with people who I don’t quite bond with. I haven’t changed though. I talk to them like I talk to everyone even though I feel like we’re speaking two different languages.
ReplyDeleteI’m always judged on how I speak and write. I’m always judged period. I’ve had a ton of people just hear me peak and instantly decide they don’t like me. I used to want to change to make them like me, and then I decided I didn’t feel like changing the way I spoke because it took so much work. I don’t care too much anymore. It worries me when people judge me, especially if it’s negative, but I’m getting over it. This is one of the reasons I’m doing cabaret night! I’m overcoming my fear that people don’t like who I am!!!!
Brittany,
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way as you. I hate writing for class because I feel confined (with the exception of OP's which I absolutely love)so that's definately my GPA stalker, but I've actually started writing in a journal, and I've found it to be an amazing outlet. It helps me figure out patterns in peoples' behavior. It's really helped me piece together some things that have been bothering me and that's the aspect that's my best friend.
JV- One of the things I envy you the most is that you can adapt your voice to blend with the group you are hanging out with at the moment. That's a really good trait because it makes you very diverse and open-minded.Honestly, you definately talk the way you speak, which is why your blogs are cleverly put together and also contain a comically aspect which draws your fellow classmates in to them. I seriously think you would be a great fashion critic in a magazine because you could definately tell people whats "hot" and whats "not!"
ReplyDeleteAlex V,
ReplyDeleteI envy you. I can never seem to put the thoughts that come into my mind on paper. It's like I have a superbitchyevil writing block. I can think things through in my mind in the most amazing way. I love how I can figure things out based on logic and observations when I'm thinking, I just hate putting them onto paper. My superbitchyevil writing block messes with my grades. I can never get my amazing thoughts onto paper.
Once again....
I'm jelous...
Sarah C.- I" love that you know yourself so well! Your tone is definately a big indication of what you are feeling about a certain thing and it's easy to pick up on. I have the tendency also to twist words to make people perceive me in a different light, so dont feel so guilty you do. I dont thing you should be so harsh on your writing skills, I think it's because you are so blunt and honest that you also want to go straight to the point.
ReplyDeleteJV,
ReplyDeleteI have too many thoughts rolling around in my head. I think you would be pleased to know what you inspired me to keep a journal. I just started and it's already helping me piece together some answers to questions about life I had. I'm glad I saw you writing in yours one day because now I have the perfect outlet!
<3 Sarah!
Writing for me is not the greatest way I can convey an Idea. I am a much better speaker, and much more convincing this way. Its not the I believe writing is a chore, don’t get me wrong I love finding new ways to improve it, its just that I know I could do a much better job if I talked to the reader personally. Since I was young I was very fond of writing, probably because I was always a good reader. Growing up I always read more then my fellow students and therefore I always tended to write more. I still believe myself to be a good writer, but more in a creative sense. AP writings are not my forte, since day one I knew I would have trouble with picking out devices and analyzing others work. Through all of this I have trudged on, blogs are about the only place I now write freely. Blogs are different from any other writing I have ever done, even though they are critiqued by 40 of my peers, it doesn’t stop me from writing freely. Mostly because I really don’t care if I use the wrong “your” or miss a period, I’m not being graded on mechanics, but content alone. Along with blogs I’ve encountered a complexly new form of “free writing”: Occasional papers. Never in my entire educational career have I been able to write whatever I want, present when I want, and not care about grammar. This is such a good idea for any high school age student, allowing a student to write what they want, helps them develop a voice, and maybe even get some things off their chest.
ReplyDeleteIn everyday conversation the way I speak completely changes for every situation. This is about the only trait I envy of myself. I can start off speaking intellectually about school to any AP student out there, but then I could be in homeroom or in lunch and take a completely different tone. When I arrived at Oakcrest I saw that you could get no where by being in one social class, the only way to make a name for yourself is to be friends with everyone you meet. Since freshman year I have held this true to myself, every person that I meet, I remember. When I meet someone I take mental notes of every single aspect of their personality, clothing, likes and dislikes, etc. So the next time I meet them I always have a common ground to talk about. And yes, I do believe we are judged on the way we speak and write. I mean hello? Bunje’s job is to judge us on how well write. But I don’t mind being judged by my writing, because without judgment there would be no room for improvement.
I enjoy writing. That being said, I have never thought of myself as a particularly good, or bad, writer. In fact I envy those who have mastered the art. When it comes to authors, David Sedaris has been my hero since I was first introduced to him before sophomore my year. I have read Sharon Begley and Jonathan Alter religiously for as long as I have been subscribing to Newsweek. My imagination was set free by J.K Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkien since I was young. These are the geniuses whose works I read I wish I could have just a small percentage of their talent. That isn't to say I think I'm a bad writer, but I have definitely just begun my journey down the road of writing improvement.
ReplyDeleteWriting effectively is important. I have ideas that I want to communicate to the world, and in order to do that I need to be able to write well. I want to be a public figure, an activist. I want to inspire change with not only my actions, but my words as well. Activists are often under heavy fire from the opponents of change, and my words need to stand strong in a firestorm.
I believe what I believe, and I don't change that for any audience. I may word my opinions more carefully when writing for a large group than when I'm with my friends, but I don't change the meaning. When ever I write I try to use proper mechanics, but if I'm writing for a grade or for this blog I usually make sure my writing is more sophisticated than if my friends were going to be the only ones reading it. It's important to represent yourself well, and if you are putting something out there for everyone to read you should be proud of it.
When I'm speaking, although subject matter usually depends on who I'm with, the way I speak doesn't really change. My voice and manner of speaking is just part of my personality. I used to be self conscious of my voice, but now I embrace it as part of me. My personality is relayed well through my choice of words and how and say them. Now subject matter can be totally different depending on who I'm talking to. With some friends I talk about funny stories I have, with others, in addition to that, I'll talk about philosophy and politics. It has to do with how close I am to them and what they are interested in. If the person I'm talking to has never heard of Taoism and could care less about Eastern philosophy, I'm not about to strike up a conversation about the Tao of Pooh because they aren't going to be interested nor will they reciprocate.
When ever we read something it is our first instinct to judge it on how well it is written, but it is important to remember that what is being said should come first, then how it is said. Even still, whenever we write something that other people are going to read we should always try our best on it. When you write well your ideas are more effectively communicated. And isn't the point of all writing the communication of ideas?
Writing has been my release, my savior, a valuable tool and a great joy in my life. When I walk in the hallways, there's constant fantasies and rants and rackets going through my head. My brain's pace is a mile a minute, which causes me to be for one, extremely impulsive and reckless, two, completely random. Writing seems to be one of the very few things that slows down my brain to a managable walking pace. I can see things clearer when I write things down, and maybe even see them in a new light, hear them in a new way. Writing has brought my wildest dreams to life and has kept my darkest secrets from the world. I am whoever I want to be when I write, and I find having writing as a skill something that will only benefit me in the future.
ReplyDeleteKnowing that my writing has a public audience does influence what I say. I try to be as honest as possible, but I still try to keep in my that I have to make my points understandable. I certainly don't try to "dumb things down", but as I said before, my mind moves a mile a minute. So what connections might be understandable to me, might just be jargon to someone else. I usually try to speak and write with the best grammar possible, but diction certainly changes with who I'm talking to. For instance, if I know that certain people are sensitive to comments I make, I try to be a little less harsh without completely surrendering my point.
Among my different groups of friends, I don't change the way I speak that often. Of course, among teachers and parents I have to be a bit more careful with what I'm talking about and exactly how I say it, but my friends generally I just speak the same, maybe a bit more relaxed, but all in all the same. With my friends I speak freely and I don't worry so much with what I say. My family members, I'm a little more guarded and have to make sure I don't slip in saying something that would offend them. (I distinctly remember saying, "Well screw that" at lunch once, and getting a stern look from my straight-up-from-the-islands-traditional parents). Around my teachers, it's pretty much the same with how I speak to my parents. Generally among all people I use the same vocabulary, try to be gramatically correct. I don't exactly speak as scholarly as an AP kid is expected to, but I think it's better than half the Oakcrest population.
I feel like I am judged on how well I speak and write by my peers when in an academic atmosphere, especially by certain individuals such as Deanna. I always feel like everything's a competition when in an academic atmosphere, especially about speaking and writing because it's two things I value most and it's the best way to express yourself, and I feel like that's completely unnecessary. But, then again, I'm one of those people outraged by the fact that school is a business instead of an institution set for the sake of learning what we want to learn, so that might just be why I hate the judgment and competition. My writing and my words in general are my heart and soul, I take it very seriously. So it's understandable if I would be sensitive to being judged on my soul, no?
Writing was the biggest hassle for me – I hated everything about it and every idea that inked out of my pen was terribly written and lacked nothing close to intelligence. Now, I love it. Of the choices given, I’d have to say that writing is an instrument of intellectuality, where I can look deeper at myself and I know anything I write, as long as I defend it, is right.
ReplyDeleteKnowing that not only my classmates but those of previous years can read what I write on here scares me, but for different reasons. Sure, I am intimidated by some therefore I contemplate of my word choice more than I would in a note perhaps, but I’m always able to get my point across. I’m scared for some, mostly former AP Lang students, to read what I have to say when deep introspection is called to play, but that never chances what I have to say completely. I admit to being more careful and aware of my grammar and mechanics, but I never concoct a story of ideas and thoughts that never have crossed my mind just to impress.
When I first read this part of the question, examples quickly came to my mind and I knew that my answer is yes, I do find myself speaking differently to those AP friends and teachers, athletes, party friends, and even some family. I see that my diction changes slightly in every group of friends I have. I dip into my vast SAT vocabulary when speaking with AP friends and teachers; I keep it flowy with my cheerleaders; I use “mad” instead of “a lot” or “very” and “bruh” (I’ll stop with the examples because you can see the change) with my party friends; conversations with my family members vary depending on who they are. I know why I do it – to fit in.
People are constantly judging everyone – you know even when you see someone in the hallway you question or state something about them subconciously – and no one can help it. I know I am judged upon how well I write and speak by everyone, I think everyone is, just some don’t care. For me, the judging comes from the AP friends that want to impress and be impressed – just not as cocky as that came across. I know I judge people on how they speak and write, no matter who they are, but it doesn’t always make me think differently of them. I know my family and other friends that know I’m an AP student judge EVERYTHING because they think we should be perfect.
I feel it’s normal to be judged upon something I should be pretty good at since I’m an AP student. However, just because I am an AP student doesn’t mean I’ve mastered the art of life and I know every synonym and defiiniton and whatever else they think we know. Some more than others feel the intensity of the judgements put upon students, but I’m almost used to it now. My vocabulary has increased greatly and I’m happy with my improvement and daily conversations and essays so I’ll take the judgement as motivation for me to do better.
Simon- I can totally relate to the part where you say you speak differently because you want to be perceived differently. That's so beyond honest and I agree I do that too. I know a lot of people think I'm probably a "corrupted young mind" because I came from AC....I admit I kind of am, and that's why I act so much different here to kind of prove a point that that shouldn't be how I should be perceived. Or cracking race jokes at lunch...I wouldn't want other people to think I'm racist so I wont act like that just anywhere or with anyone. I think that was what you were saying, at least that's how I comprehended it. :)
ReplyDelete"Writing is the bane of my existence. It’s a hateful chore. It’s a dreadful stalker lying in wait to destroy my lofty GPA. It’s behind the brown, diaphanous dead bush standing on its two feet with its arched back and bent knees, waiting to run dart up when I pass by, shoot me in the head, and stab me ten times for safety. I hate writing."
Awesome opening? Yes, very very much. I like your writing! I just think that the fact of how you write is judged through a microscope and can inflict hell on your GPA makes the hate greater. Safe to say, school writing wise I would share the feeling of that paragraph, except I don't hate it because most of the writing I LOVE is from outside of school or blogs, not the lovely AP essays. I guess it all depends on what are you writing for? or why you are?
Alex V
ReplyDeleteI love how strong your writing is! Knowing you from all those years at Port and freshman year it completely fits your personality. "It would be far too difficult to try to switch up my natural “flow” for those of you who kinda sorta can’t stand how I write. Don’t read it if you don’t like it. I say what I mean and I write how I am. Always." That is such a great quality to have in your writing. I admire your ability to "just write" without inhibitions.
Alexis - I love your opening paragraph. I felt the intensity of your feelings towards writing right through it! I love writing, though I'm not one to flash my pieces, and I feel the same way sometimes. "I am whoever I want to be when I write.." I feel the same way! I think you should be a writer one day - I remember thinking that when we were growing up. Knowing that so many people can read this scares me, but in the end, I know I was true to myself when I wrote it and that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteSarah C - I used to hate my writing, so much! I remember when Mrs. Rock talked about voice and how everyone has it and she knew Bob's right away just by words he picked. I didn't start liking my papers and noticing my unique voice until this year though. I think that the simple tone and voice you have is what makes it YOU. You're not an awful writer, if you were you would not be here, silly!
Taylor - For the past couple of blogs, I've loved reading yours. I can really see you shine through your words and I can tell it's true emotion, unlike most people that just answer the question to get it done with. Your love for writing really shows, you're great at it!
Tay Palm:
ReplyDeleteFirst off, your similes and metaphors are amazing! They always make your writing more interesting. Your blogs are always great and are both thoughtful and fun to read. That being said I can understand how it would be hard for you to write more formally. There must be a way to combine your voice with a formal essay, you just need to experiment and figure it out.
Stephen W -
ReplyDeleteI'm really happy that you want to be an activist! It seems perfect for you! And you're right, writing is extremely important for that kind of path, but I really believe you'll be able to do it. You've got a great mind, and you write very well, even if you don't realize it. And I completely agree with you as well on the fact that we all have a long way to go to be great writers. I'm also happy that you have a great deal of confidence in your mindset. It's a relief to hear considering everyone's constant desire to think how everyone else thinks. It's good to know some people stand by their opinions.
Kyra A -
I totally agree with you on the time aspect of writing. I wish I had way more time to write than I have during school days, and it would be great if we were allowed to write more about things we wanted to write about as opposed to simply one choice in topic. Also, you made a good point about tone that I never thought about. I never thought about whether or not I have different tones when I speak to or write for different people.
Kelsey C -
I really enjoyed your blog. I understand in a way how you felt about being discouraged about writing. Through my freshman and sophomore year, I would often get average grades on my papers and never really knew why, and that always haunted me. I just figured that maybe my writing wasn't good. But I honestly think that you might be more creative than you think. You can't have made it this far in school without at least a bit of creativity.
Kristie -
ReplyDeleteThank you! That means so much to me. Hah you have no idea. :)
Unfortunately, writing to me is the first one: “Hateful chore, dreadful stalker lying in wait to destroy your lofty GPA”. That’s EXACTLY how I feel. Just kidding! Well, only when it comes to school and I‘m under duress to perform such activity.
ReplyDeleteWhere should I start? Well, my brain does not function well when it comes to English/writing department. No matter how hard I try, it’s never the best or at least come any near to good when comparing my writing to my peers. I have no talent in that area and so I come to dislike it. However I really do wish I can express my thoughts well on paper or just once get a perfect score in my writing. (Never had a perfect score in my essays, sad right?)The only time I will take out a piece of paper indulgingly and write on is when I’m angry (usually). I’m sure you think that’s pretty weird, but hey what better way to alleviate your rage than on a piece of paper? Perhaps a punching bag, but paper and pen are much cheaper :]. (maybe a pillow.. But whatever)
Now that I am in AP Lang, I have written ten times more than I have in the past years. I have to admit, I’m slowly progressing but I feel like I’m still miles away from where I ought to be. Anyways my writings here is the most public they have ever been. That means people are going to read it and judge. Before, I used to worry a lot. Does this even make sense? This sounds so 2nd grade-ish! Why do I suck at writing!?!? Just imagine an Indian girl in front of her computer screen on the verge of pulling her hair out. (okay not really… :]). I was pretty stressed, I mean, when listening to my fellow classmates essays or reading few blogs I feel intimidated. However, right this moment, I don’t care as much mainly because I got tired of worrying and also I figured not everybody reads them let alone a few. I’m still conscious about my writing but that is a good thing because it motivates me to write stronger, better. I never let anybody influence my ideas though, only the way I present them. I lack the ability to write cohesively and precise. So yes, I am conscious about mechanics, diction, grammar…etc.
In different environments, I speak differently. Towards my friends, I speak vastly different than I would towards anybody. My tone is much hyper and I use very informal diction. I say whatever I want. The same with my family… except I speak another language where my sentences are choppy and have grammer issues. Nonetheless, I‘m comfortable saying things to them just not as arbitrarily the way I do with my friends. In class, I speak very little to seldom. It’s like writing, my inability to make clear statements using vivid words keeps me from saying things at all. My words are too simple for an AP langer, it’s upsetting. It’s difficult to articulate pretty sentences, especially having to speak on the spot. O well. Maybe one day I’ll get an A+ on an essay and I’ll give a speech that will knock everybody out of their chairs because it’s that good. As of right now, I will slowly continue to progress, learning my way of projecting things in my mind exactly into words that can be spoken and written.
I don’t take writing seriously enough. In its purest form, writing is very simple for me. When I am overcome with inspiration, words flow from my fingertips effortlessly and with little thought. The best writing I have ever done has been accomplished simply by letting my thoughts flow onto paper. However, the worst writing I have ever done has also been accomplished in this way. You see, when I am not inspired, and simply have to write something because it is due tomorrow, I still write without thinking, but instead of being a masterpiece, it ends up being a rambling mess. Because of this, writing can be both boon and bane for me. Writing itself is not a chore. Rather, writing something that turns out to be garbage and not realizing it right away is the real problem.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could be a good writer all the time. I wish metaphors and figurative language just popped into my head all the time, but they don’t. I read some of the other blog posts on here and immediately become envious. Some of my peers are much more linguistically gifted than I am, and their writing puts me to shame. I feel as if I stopped growing as a writer years ago, and I feel that may be because I have largely ceased reading for fun. The only thing my brain is really good at is remembering things, and when I read books my mind subconsciously observes their techniques and remembers how they wrote. My writing now is nothing more than a mixture of what I have read in the past. I often think that my writing is too simplistic, that if it isn’t rife with metaphor it isn’t good enough. I suppose that all I need to do to fix that is read some well-written books, but with all of my responsibilities now I feel as if I do not have the time. I wish I still had time to be a nerd and learn things on my own, but I just can’t anymore.
Like a lot of other people on this blog, these assignments are the most public my writing has ever been. However, it doesn’t bother me any. I feel normal when I write these, and if I write well I don’t care who reads it. Writing on this blog allows me to at least put a little piece of me into my writing, and that always makes my writing better. That’s the reason I’m so good at writing Occasional Papers. I love writing OPs, because they are often narratives in which I can just tell a story. I love to tell stories. I write well when I’m telling stories, and this year has made me discover that I am basically ONLY good at writing stories. In most other cases my writing sucks, and that is something I must work at diligently. But no matter what, whether I’m writing a paper for Ms. Bunje or writing an Occasional Paper that I will read aloud, I always write the same way. When I write, I feel as if I’m writing to this invisible entity that I’ve never been able to describe. I suppose it’s like writing to myself. For this reason, my writing never changes due to audience.
However, writing and speaking are two completely different things. When I write, I’m reserved. My writing will almost never ignite people’s passions about an issue and get them angry at me. That said, I can still get my point across if I have to. My writing just isn’t very inflammatory. My speech, on the other hand, changes radically depending on who I am talking to. There are a few people that I am a jerk to. There are some that I am the nicest person ever to. To most, however, I’m just a quiet kid that never really says anything interesting. I change the way I speak to people depending on how I want them to perceive me. Most people do, and I’m really not sure why you wouldn’t want to. However, it is always a subconscious decision. The way I talk to people just “feels” right. Honestly, that’s how just about everything goes for me. Things feel right, and I just go along with them (my problem is that oftentimes, the actually AREN’T right, but that’s another issue entirely). That’s why something Ms. Bunje said intrigued me. She said that words play in her head as she says them. I don’t know how to do that. When I speak, I have no idea what I’m saying. When I’m done, I often forget what I said entirely, but for some reason it came out just the way it should have. I don’t really understand how I do things the way I do, but it’s largely worked so far, so I think I’ll keep it that way.
ReplyDeleteAll of that being said, however, I know I’m judged on the way I speak and write. Everybody does it, even if they don’t want to admit it. People use my speech to decide if I’m boring or interesting (and it’s usually the former), smart or stupid, and talkative or quiet. My writing is usually used for largely the same purposes. Why is this done? It’s easier to understand people if they’re categorized. If someone knows I’m the “quiet” kid, they have a better idea of how to approach me and think about me. Having stereotypes and schemas about things are just a natural part of life. I’m completely fine with this, because I know I do it too. It’s just a natural part of life.
I will never escape writing. Even if I never write another sentence, the same things that go into writing effectively go into speaking effectively, and I know for certain I will need to speak for the rest of my life. Because of this, there would be no point in hating writing. Why resent something that can be made into a friend? As long as I can continue to improve upon my weak points (of which there are many), I will be able to tolerate my relationship with writing. Writing could take me all kinds of places when I get older. For now, I just have to worry about not failing the AP exam.
Alex V
ReplyDeleteI’m genuinely jealous. I’m jealous of your love for writing and of your writing talent. I’m jealous of how you write with a “natural ‘flow’.” I remember how, during family projects, you would effortlessly added input that was worded wonderfully,—even though you couldn’t remember what you said afterward—and I was jealous of that too. I can’t write like you. I can’t read like you. I’m jealous of you, but I’m happy for you.
Alexis B
I’m jealous of you too. I’m jealous of your solid speech in that you don’t really change how you speak among different people. I’m can be a whole different person depending on who I’m with. Your ability to maintain an impervious style of speech shows that you’re true to others and to yourself. I’m jealous of how you find writing “a great joy” in your life. To be able to release stress through writing must be so peacefully relieving.
Stephen W
You said, “what is being said should come first, then how it is said,” and I absolutely agree. As you describe, words are definitely important, but I feel they are too important. The art of writing and speaking, I feel, is too artsy. It requires too much talent. If you want to be an activist, then people should admire you firstly on your ideas and secondly on your presentation of your ideas. The art of riting and speaking should be boons for an activist, not a requirement.
Simon V:
ReplyDeleteI love how honest you were. Also, I could definitely tell it was you when I was reading your post. I can picture you saying everything that you wrote in your post. That was a really enjoyable read.
I hate writing, plain and simple. I love writing, no question about it.
ReplyDeleteI often find myself torn between my hatred of writing and my love for it. It is true that I see my writing as something that brings my GPA down, which makes me loathe it. I’m a logical thinker, Math and Science I get, there is one simple answer and it is easy for me to understand how to get that answer. Writing is something that can be interpreted and done so many different ways, with so many different styles. For me, this sucks, because I have to style and am not creative. You’d think for all these reasons I would hate writing, and I do; but I don’t. I hate sitting down to right, I hate trying to make my thoughts into words. However, once I do it, I feel not only a sense of accomplishment, but a sense of understanding as well.
My problem with writing is getting started. However, once I do get started, I usually love it. That is until Paola calls me at one in the morning and reads me here paper, than I usually want to burn mine
I learned the hard way, over the summer, that everything we write for AP Language should be the best we can do. When I write my blogs, essays, and even TS/TD, I write to the best of my ability. The only difference I see in my writing on blogs is that I use first-person.
I socialize everyday, with all types of people, even just in school. I don’t believe that I sensor myself, or my attitude changes dependent on which group they are in, rather it changes with how well I know a person. I have a huge problem, I never think before I speak. People who know me well enough know that sometimes I say stupid things, but I never mean to hurt or offend anyone when I do. Sometimes, words I say come out or are interpreted differently then how I see them in my head. It’s really not something that I feel like I control better in some situations than others, usually if I don’t feel comfortable around a group of people I don’t know, or I feel like something I say could be taken the wrong way, I simply don’t speak unless spoken to.
I know I am judged by the way I speak. Earlier this year, Shirley Ngo said to me, “You know the seniors in our Economics class think your stupid, because of what you say?” At first I was confused, I had a 96 and was during better than most of the seniors in the class, if not all. But than I realized, that they don’t see my grades, the only thing they have to go off of to judge me is my speech. At first, I made a conscious decision, to make that one of the classes I don’t talk in, I later changed my mind. I don’t care if people think I’m stupid, to me I’d rather be myself and get judged for it, than try to act special around certain people.
Alex V:
ReplyDeleteI suppose we are pretty similar when it comes to writing. I feel similar about writing with a flow, and I had to laugh at Simon's comment about you forgetting about the insightful things you had said, because I do that too. I wish I still had time to write on my own. I used to write fiction stories, way back in third grade. They suck now, but they were a way for me to get my creative side out. I don't feel like I have a creative side anymore.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWriting is certainly not my forte. However, it isn’t necessarily a hateful chore. One of the prominent facets determining whether writing is an instrument of intellectuality or a hateful chore is the amount of passion I have for the topic. The greater passion that exists, the less writing will be a burden. For instance, if the topic of a writing assignment is related to astronomy, I will have a greater chance of enjoying it as opposed to an assignment related to football. This is similar to a career or even running (or any activity/sport). If you relish the experience of it and love doing it, then it is not as much a hardship. But if you don’t enjoy it and dread thinking about doing it, then it will be more of a tribulation. Of course, writing should not be limited to just assignments. Writing is an art. Art is creativity. Creativity is a portrayal of the imagination.
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly, knowing that my writing will be read by a public audience does influence the adjustments I make to my writing. I don’t alter my thoughts and ideas, but I do alter the way I present them. This is primarily to allow the audience to comprehend what I am writing to say and to avoid any further confusion my writing may induce.
There is no difference in the way I speak to any of my friends. I don’t want to have to change an aspect of myself for a friend just because they are different from my other friends. The only person that I speak to differently than anyone else is my ‘guru’. It is almost like this alternate way of speaking comes naturally when I’m speaking with him. That is perhaps the only exception for my speaking outside of my family. With my family, I certainly speak differently with my parents and elders than my siblings and cousins, else I’d get my butt whooped everyday. Obviously, my parents and other elders in the family are older, thus deserving more respect. I speak more courteously and considerately with them because they are older, wiser, and more experienced. In the other hand, I speak more sarcastically and unserious with my younger siblings and my cousins because, even if some of us are more experienced and mature than the others, we all still have much to learn and none of us is above the other.
Unfortunately I think we are all judged on the measure of how well we speak and write by each other. Not just here in this AP Lang blog but also in our families, groups of friends, teachers, and even people we have never met before (College Admissions people etc.). I don’t like this idea because I think we are all different (obviously) and we each have our own ways of presenting our thoughts and ideas in the world. Not everyone is as comfortable expressing themselves with speaking or writing. Perhaps art is a more comfortable mode to communicate their thoughts with others. It all depends of the person and the way their mind works.
Kyra A:
ReplyDelete"Hell, I haven’t done math homework yet this year. Lack of time for homework causes me to choose the most important assignment and get it done, and one hundred percent of the time, it’s Lang."
Me too! For the first half of the year, I didn't do Calc homework at all. However, after getting a 77 on the midterm, I think i should probably start doing it. What I'm doing now is copying the pages of homework and doing them in the two days of study hall that I have with Justin Liu, who is a math genius. I'll get by, I suppose, but you're right. My math grades suffer as well because I have my classes prioritized.
O, writing (and everything it encompasses)! Why does our relationship have to be so temperamental?
ReplyDeleteWriting has never come naturally to me. I have never been able to completely capture my feelings, or my thoughts, or my dreams into a piece of writing. Whenever I try, the same problem creeps up from behind and stops me before I can even get started. I always know what I want to convey to my audience, but I can never find the right words to do it. I’ve tried planning my essays, organizing my ideas, having others read it, but I still can’t seem to break this block. It doesn’t help that I’ve also never been completely comfortable with my own work. My father, who is an English major and used to be a teacher, always used to proofread my work. Even if I tried my hardest and thought it was the best thing to grace this Earth besides Nutella, my dad would always find mistakes. I know he was only trying to help me, but since then I’ve always been insecure with what I’ve written.
However, this does not always make writing such a painful task. There are times where I find myself unable to stop writing, even if that means skipping a meal. This usually tends to happen after I’ve experienced one of my recurring dreams. Not many people know this, but I dream every single night. Vividly. I’m a lucid dreamer, and I often find myself trying to control what happens in my dreams. But there’s one dream that I’ve constantly had throughout my life since the first grade. I cannot control this dream no matter how much I try, and it always seems to follow me, no matter where I am, and no matter what emotional state I am in when I fall asleep. The dream is too long to describe, but whenever I have it, I find myself writing a great deal the next day. It’s not a pleasant dream at all, it’s full of anxiety and stress, but it always puts me in a state where I can write anything that I want. Uninhibited and without much thought. You have no idea how much I wish I had this dream whenever I had a paper for Bunj due... :P
When writing for a public audience, I tend to differ my writing only in the sense that I try to make it more appropriate towards the task I am completing. In blogs, I write more freely than I normally would, because I’ve become accustomed to writing towards this group of my peers. But when it comes to other classes or other assignments, I censor myself. I mean, it wouldn’t be appropriate at all to write an AP essay the same way I would a note to my friends.
Even in the case of speech, I am always conscience of my audience. From a young age, my father always told me to be aware of who was around me. He usually was referring to the times I would talk about ‘teenage things’ around my youngest sister, but I understood his point. I can’t talk to my grandparents the same way I would talk to my closest friends. Number one, that’s not respectful, and number two I would probably have some teeth missing after the encounter [my grandma doesn’t play..o.O] The same occurs when I'm talking to different groups of my peers It should be no surprise to anyone that I'm more of a talker than a writer, and it’s because of this that I find talking and interacting with people so much easier. If I'm around friends that are a bit more open, my speech will be frenzied and consist of a rather um.. colorful vocabulary. But if I'm around a more subdued group, or people I may not be as close too, my speech may be a little more limited.
The only way I can explain this, is that I do not want to be judged incorrectly. But then again, who does? When talking to an adult, I don’t want them to judge me as a naïve teenager based upon how I present myself. When speaking to certain kids my age, I change my speech so they can understand me better and hopefully not be so awkward around me. I’m not going to lie, I do judge people when I first hear them speak. If somebody came up to me talking about hittin some fine piece of..booty and getting it crunk to some underground hip hop, I’d probably walk away or ask them to speak to me as if I'm a normal human being. I just.. I usually just don’t have the patience to deal with that.
ReplyDeleteWhether we like it or not, we are all judged on the way we speak or write. Unfortunately for some, their strengths can only be shown in only one of those aspects. For me, it’s obviously speaking, but I am aware that I will not always get the chance to impress people that way. But I don’t think that it means that we cannot improve on either aspect. We all entered this course for a reason, and although Junior year is killing us slowly ( so very slowly), we will all emerge stronger.
P.S. Remember how Costal said we were floating on top of the water at the end of last year…? Well we went straight back down to drowning this year. But if we want to make it to the top again, we all just have to keep swimming! It’s the climb, and there’s always gonna be another mountain..we’re always gonna want to make it move. There’s always gonna be an uphill battle. Sometimes we’re gonna have to lose.. :D
I have never had a problem in expressing an idea or supporting a point through the writing I have been assigned in school. I considered myself a good writer, writing being one of my strong points in the ever complicated repertoire of a rising intellectual, until this year. Thoughts of incompetence in the area of writing have plagued me throughout this year, possibly as a result of the other 3000 agents of stress closing in on me. Whatever the case may be, I have felt weak in my writing this year. From hearing an amazing passage read and crafted by one of my peers in AP Lang to sitting at my computer for fifteen minutes before a proficient idea pops into my head, writing has been difficult for me.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy these blogs and the flow and sharing of ideas that takes place here. These blogs cause me to write about a subject that I am largely ignorant in, my personal beliefs. I never really sat down and thought about the meaning of life or the reason I live before these blogs and the questions posed in class discussions. I am often found tingling from the free flow of thought I am able to express on these blogs. I love reading other people’s posts and analyzing their perspective on a subject. I love the ability to intellectually and passionately discuss an idea, something I don’t do out loud too often. Does the public nature of this blog influence my writing? I’d like to believe that it doesn’t. I express my opinion in a way that leaves no room for holding back. If I didn’t post in this nature, I wouldn’t see the point in posting anything. I may write in a more informal fashion, especially on some of the topics that I don’t particularly care for, but my overall writing isn’t influenced by the fact that my peers and those I come into contact with every day have the ability to read and analyze my posts as they see fit.
When speaking to different groups, I don’t consciously change my tone. I try to be polite and thoughtful when talking to any group of people. I may not express the same amount of familiarity, but I go into the conversation with the same intent, with the same morals guiding what I see fit to say to someone. This is a concept I have difficulty expressing, maybe I don’t exhibit this behavior when talking to different groups. Maybe this is an ideal I strive for but fail at achieving, whatever the case; I believe this is how each conversation should be approached. Embarrassing memories of my verbal failure during class continuously flow into my mind as I write this. I am constantly failing at expressing my ideas in Lang. I am posed with a question and my only response is pretty much always “durr.” I wish I was better at expressing my thoughts verbally, something I dread having to do. This is one aspect of writing that I particularly love, the ability to express myself intellectually in a way that shows this intellectuality.
How am I to know if I am judged by my reading and writing? I am sure some would judge me based on these skills, but it isn’t a major burden I experience on a regular basis. I’m not too concerned with being judged based on my writing or speaking. I know these are invaluable tools, and I don’t doubt their ability to influence and change people, but judgments of my personal character based on these attributes doesn’t bother me. No form of judgment really bothers me anymore, there are more important things to worry about than if someone is judging you based on something you do, say, or write.
It’s pretty ironic that the blog whose subject is writing turns out to be one of my worst posts…
How can I describe writing? I guess I'd have to start by saying that writing, at least for me, is absolutely, positively, certainly, indubitably, and 100% THE shit('the shit' as in the good kind of 'the shit,' as in excellent). With a little preparation, outlining, and polishing up at the end, writing can easily become the greatest medium through which the most thoughtful expressions of any of my emotions, beliefs, or opinions can manifest themselves into. Writing is great. I don't know why anyone really despises writing. I don't know why anyone really thinks they suck at writing. To me, becoming a good writer, for those who aren't naturally good writers, just requires a pinch of reading, a cup of thick preparation, and a gargantuan shitload of going back over and over again to correct every little detail until its just about as perfect as it can be. The most prolific writers especially go through dozens and hundreds of drafts of each chapter and page and paragraph until it's as good as gold, and I love it. It's a simple formula, time and a brain, and when I feel like my brain isn't as sharp as it could be, I just sprinkle in some more time (at least that's what I used to be able to do; nowadays I dream about begging every clock in the world to freeze up all at once).
ReplyDeleteOf course I tailor my writing to my audience, especially when it's as big a gap as writing an essay in English to typing a text to a friend. When I'm writing to people I know, especially AP kids, like right now, I try to at least be a little humorous when I can find room to be. When I'm writing to people that matter (not that AP kids don't matter) I'll put a little more preparation into sounding (for lack of a better term)smarter, more mature, and like I know what I'm talking about. And who doesn't? It's a simple strategy that factors into the preparation of any major written work, and those who take up any writing assignment with no regard to who their audience is are just asking for failure.
As for speaking, it's pretty much the same. I don't really have a set 'voice' that I use all the time. It's more or less (probably more) affected by my surroundings and audience (you know what, it's absolutely more) than by just how I am naturally. In Oakcrest, in AP classes, and in most of Mays Landing, I've got a set 'white' voice that I use to articulate my thoughts, and well, sound white, as in smart-probably the best way I can put it. But when I'm in Pleasantville or AC or anywhere else full of crap, poverty, black people, my family, and, formerly, me, I've noticed that I tend to open conversations, mostly with people that I haven't seen in a while, with a less white-sounding “So 'fuck's up, nigga!?” or something along the lines of that. Now, those are just two of the most contrasting examples which don't, by themselves, determine how I want to sound, but they're definitely major factors. Like I said before, I don't really have a natural voice that I'm comfortable with all the time.
Anyway, as for judgment
I certainly feel judged when I speak a certain way to certain people. THAT'S WHY I speak a certain way to certain people. I don't really have any other way to describe it. I try to sound smart in class, and funny and like an actual human being out of class(not saying smart people aren't relatable and human, most of the time).
-Deanna
ReplyDelete“Not to sound haughty, but when I was younger, I often tried to express ideas that were more mature than my vocabulary at the time...Misunderstanding, I believe, is one of the worse sins in the world.”
Did you by any chance implant in my head some sort of tiny computer chip that could just instantly read my mind from when I was like 5? Because that's exactly how I used to feel all the time, misunderstood and like I couldn't fully articulate what I wanted to say, ever.
-Sarah C.
“If I’m talking to someone I hate, I’ll either take on an apathetic tone like I couldn’t care less what they’re saying, or a sardonic tone to make them feel like an idiot.”
Oh, you mean like you do to me all the time? I'm kidding! We both know it's just most of the time.
Well, no. Probably all the time.
Anyway, as far that whole “When I talk to different cliques, I feel like I don’t speak that much differently to them all,” thing goes, maybe you should start talking differently to different groups of people; even if you don't care, you can still use it as sort of an instant practice for writing to different audiences and in different tones. Use certain words when you talk to certain people depending on how you feel towards them, it'll definitely help you with all that writing you hate so much, or maybe not. It does for me so it's the best I can offer.
-Simon
“Writing takes too much time. It requires too much thought. It’s a boring burden I am often obliged to bear. This part is wordy. This part is confusing. This paragraph doesn’t belong. This verb is too weak. This verb is too strong. This is lacking transition. This is awkward.”
Well hey, all these elements contribute to good writing and good writing can just do so much that I think it more than makes up for the lost time. There'll come a day where you want to write some really convincing letter to your local.......whoever's in charge of something, to change.............whatever it is you want to change, and the having the capacity to critique and adjust your own work until it's perfect is what could make the difference in getting whatever you want to get changed changed.
Maryam R.
ReplyDeleteI agree that it is easier to write about a topic you feel passionate about, in fact I think most people would agree with that. When ever you love something you can express yourself through feelings along with your words.
"I don’t alter my thoughts and ideas, but I do alter the way I present them." I said something similar in my blog. I always want to present my ideas well, but my ideas will never change depending on the audience.
Writing for me, expresses things that I would not be able to say to any person, yet even on the blogs I tend to reserve some of my deeper expressions. I find it extremely difficult to open up to anyone and this has affected my writing by forcing me to say things that are just skimming the surface of what I really feel, or really have to say. Though I have had a hard time getting a grade I am satisfied with in Bunje’s class, I still believe in my writing and enjoy writing very much. When writing my Blog, I often don’t re-read my writing multiple times and try to make my mechanics perfect. When I talk to people on Facebook or AIM, I tend to type the same way I would in an essay, and the people reading my blog has not really affected me enough to try to make every sentence perfect. I enjoy when my writing flows, and when I get into a good idea, it seems that my sentences just pour out instead of being articulated and thought upon. Therefore I usually speak the same words to everyone, my tone and demeanor are miles different.
ReplyDeleteI have many different categories of friends, and I defiantly talk differently to each category of friend. It seems wrong trying to divide my friends into categories but there is an obvious division between the ones I talk to. The AP bubble sometimes urges me to want to get out and just basically raise hell, and most AP kids would not join along on the so-called adventures I have with some of my less-than-AP material friends. It seems odd that one half of my friends have a 100 GPA and never missed a homework assignment, and the other half has never attempted an assignment before. I believe I have two different categories of friends to fulfill what I really need during the week. I mean when I would like to have a very deep intellectual conversation, my friends who sleep during their general classes would not be my top choice. But also when doing spontaneous random adventures, most AP kids would scorn me for wasting my time.
I believe I am, along with many others, are judged solely on how I talk and write. I believe the conduct of a person’s language really determines their intellectual comprehension. Even though I will tend to talk differently to friends, I believe in an intellectual conversation the insights brought to the table by a person really determines the judgment of the person. Though I believe it is slightly biased, I still think the way a person conducts themselves in a conversation can test a person’s ability to think on their feet and give important insights without having to think and articulate the idea. It may sound odd, but a person who can do something on their feet compared to taking hours to do, is to me intellectually more sophisticated, generally. Because a person can articulate their work until it is perfect, but to construct a real opinion and impression is to do it through speaking. Overall, impressions are the most important things, because they are what the person leaves with and cannot be changed.
Kyra- I completely agree that if I had more time, I would be writing more. I want to write. I want to read my thoughts and dreams over and over again outside my hectic and corrupt mind. I wish I had enough time to write because the more I write the better I will get at it.
ReplyDeleteManar- Your blogs are definitely fun to read. I wish I could have the chance to talk to you more because you’re one funny chick :P but anyways, I agree that we shouldn’t judge a person’s intellectuality based solely on how they speak because my mother speaks broken up English with an accent, but she is one of the wisest people I know.
Pooha- I LOLed at the image of an “Indian girl in front of her computer screen on the verge of pulling her hair out.” Honestly, I like your writing. Your way of expressing your thoughts is unique to the person you are. I don’t think just because you haven’t gotten an A++++ on an essay, your writing is anywhere near bad. It’s all in the way we follow the rules or writing…So for the millionth time, you’re writing is awesome! :)
Kyra:
ReplyDelete"Hell, I haven’t done math homework yet this year. Lack of time for homework causes me to choose the most important assignment and get it done, and one hundred percent of the time, it’s Lang."
Exactly. I do the same thing all the time. And Lang is always at the top of my list. Its probably wrong to demean some of my other classes..but I just tend to focus more on the classes I think will help me more in the future. As of now, like it's always been, that class is Lang.
Lucas in response to Kyra's:
'What I'm doing now is copying the pages of homework and doing them in the two days of study hall that I have with Justin Liu, who is a math genius.'
J.Liu...makes me feel dumb in that class. D:
Simon:
'Depending on the group, I talk with a different diction, syntax, and tone. To my best of friends, I may greet, “Yo!” To teachers and parents, I might say, “Hey” To my normal friends, I may say, “Hey! Hey!” To my brother, I might say, “Sup, bitch.'
First of all..hahahahaaahahha.
Second.. I'm exactly the same way. But I find myself speaking that way because I want to be respectful to people who are older than me. You obviously wouldn't say 'Sup, bitch' to a teacher because they're your educator [not to mention, you'd get a detention]. They're meant to guide and help you. You can't just turn around and talk to them like you would one of students walking down the halls of Oakcrest. I thought this was a really good example of that.
Lucas [response to your actual blog this time..]:
'I feel normal when I write these, and if I write well I don’t care who reads it. Writing on this blog allows me to at least put a little piece of me into my writing, and that always makes my writing better.'
I agree with you on this point wholeheartedly. Like I mentioned in my blog, I feel like I can write a lot more freely here. It provides a nice weekly break for me, since I always seem to be struggling to write a paper for one of my classes. Sometimes I wish all of my assignments let my mind wander as much as these blogs do.
Stephen W.
ReplyDeleteWow I’m very impressed about how much of an interest you have on philosophy and politics. Anyways I would like to make a comment about your conclusion -“When you write well your ideas are more effectively communicated. And isn't the point of all writing the communication of ideas?”- I agree entirely. It made me realize how much power we string together words right towards the right audience and BAM! We have the ability to persuade and manipulate things to our likings. Pretty creepy when I come to think about it, but its true. Overall I enjoyed reading your blog, you explained things very well.
Alexis B.
“I feel like I am judged on how well I speak and write by my peers when in an academic atmosphere, especially by certain individuals such as Deanna. I always feel like everything's a competition when in an academic atmosphere, especially about speaking …”
I feel the same way. Everything seems like a competition, which makes education less fun for me. Anyways, we all make judgments it just happens subconsciously. We all have opinions when we hear something or read something and that won’t ever change especially if there are ones really negative (unless if you object to that I‘m okay with that). What really matters is that we keep an open mind. I feel if we do… we wouldn’t be so quick to have a that negative judgments. I just hate judgments, I rather keep them to myself unless if they’re something the person whom I judge would want to hear.
Maryam:
“Not everyone is as comfortable expressing themselves with speaking or writing.”
I believe this is true, especially for me. There are many other ways to express yourself. For me it’s dance, I let everything just flow right out to the beat of the music. But anyways I agree with almost everything you have written. You’re very open-minded about your blogs, you don’t ever limit yourself to just talking about you (well for the ones I’ve read). Overall I enjoyed reading it especially the ‘guru’ part :D
Writing…is fun. When I think of writing, I compare it to art since drawing is what I like to do best. When drawing, I always keep in mind that I should have my own unique style of my very own. The same method is used for my writing, and sometimes it can be a huge pain in the neck, but at the end when you write something you’re really proud of and it’s something all people can relate to, it’s worth it.
ReplyDeleteI really like this blog, and I like declamations. I’ve never really had many opportunities to let loose my crazy and childish persona into my writing. (Even though Bunje thinks I’m a creep after reading my declamations.) Maybe I was a little self conscious at the beginning, but later in the year, I treat all you AP nerds as family. I know that we are all in the same boat, and that even though we are all very unique, we’re still the same. I feel that on here, people truly understand what I’m talking about, and I can really relate to what they say.
The way I talk and write always changes depending on who is listening. The babble I tell Crystal on the phone is definitely something I would not say to my aunt or uncle. With friends, I’m all over the place when I talk, and sometimes I even make up words. (Especially with Crystal. Haha) Ask JV; he’ll know that whenever I’m explaining something or telling a joke, it almost never really makes sense, but I laugh and don’t care. If I was explaining something to my aunt and uncle I wouldn’t dare say anything that might make me sound “stupid.” When talking to people like them, I feel incredibly self conscious and always feel like I’m saying the wrong thing.
We are constantly being judged. Whether is be our clothes, personalities, writing, or speaking, we are sadly being judged by all. Sometimes this can work in your favor, and sometimes not. When reading things written by other people, I find myself judging the paper by how focused I am on it. The more interesting the paper is, the more I can tell that the author really put their soul in it, and was passionate about the subject.
I feel like I have a very long way to go in the path of being a better writer. I don’t want to be an author as a career, but I think it would really help when pitching movie and cartoon ideas to big corporations. Maybe if I get a handle on this writing thing, I can actually have a full conversation without mumbling, making up my own words, or going off topic!
Alexis: I admire your ability to use writing as an outlet for expressing your every thought and idea. I often tell myself I'm going to start writing in this fashion but never get around to it. Reading your post and seeing the benefits writing has on your life makes me want to start to write more and more freely.
ReplyDeleteKyra: I, like almost every person on this blog, can understand your pain in the dilemna of calculus homework. Calculus is a beast that has been a real burden for me over the pst few months. I have done about two homework assignments over the course of the year, I guess this reflects in my horrifically mediocre grades in that class. And the worst part is that I know that if I took the time (which is largely nonexistent) and effort, I could be really good at calculus. While this may be true, I don't see why time should have an effect on writing. Writing shoulkd never feel rushed and certainly shouldnt be something done just to do. There is always time to write and the more one writes the better they become at it and the better they can find the time to do so.
Shirley: I enjoyed your extended metaphor relating writing to playing the trumpet. Not only was it interesting and entertaining to read, but it really expressed your ideas in a logical and clear fashion. I can see where you're coming from on many of your points, and some of them I downright agree with.
For me, writing is neither a chore nor a pleasure. I enjoy writing, but feel like most essays never turn out the way I intended. They start out as instruments of intellectuality, but quickly change course into dreadful stalkers, waiting to ruin my GPA. I usually have splendid ideas, but can never seem to translate my brainstorm into paragraphs, sentences, or words that make sense. I want to become a better writer, and I’m willing to put the effort in, I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong, or what I’m not doing altogether.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of publishing my posts to our class blog scares me. I’m afraid of what other people will think of me if I write exactly how I feel. Most of Bunje’s questions delve into the deepest, darkest regions of our souls, some of which I have never searched before. I feel like I need more time to think about the weighty questions so I can form an opinion and figure out a way to explain my feelings to my peers. I’m not comfortable enough with my writing to reveal my “raw” self to everyone without having sufficient time to think it over. I am confidant in the “rhetoric side” of my writing. It’s the content that worries me. I feel like I am being judged by what I am saying, and I’m concerned that I’m not answering the questions correctly and that my responses do not make sense.
I speak to my friends, family, and other people I feel comfortable around in the same manner, but speak more consciously around people of high authority and who make me nervous. It’s not an extremely different style of language, but it’s different enough to notice a slight change. For example, if I were to greet someone I would use several variations of, “hello.” To my friends and family I would probably say, “hey!” When it comes to higher authorities or people that make me nervous, I would say, “hi, how are you?” They both have the same meaning, except the words are modified to appeal to a certain crowd.
Since I judge people based on the way they speak and write, I would venture to say that I am judged in the same respect. Everyone judges others based on their speech and writing because whether you talk to someone for thirty seconds or thirty minutes, you form an opinion of them which alters your overall view and acceptance of that person. Seeing as the way you speak and write directly correlates to the way a person carries them self, speech and writing can be considered a way of life. I don’t mind being judged on they way I speak and write because communication is one of the major aspects of my personality and the way I express myself. Because self-expression is the way I want people to perceive me, judgment is merely a part of life.
Maryum!
ReplyDelete“One of the prominent facets determining whether writing is an instrument of intellectuality or a hateful chore is the amount of passion I have for the topic.”
I couldn’t agree more. When given a topic I can connect to, I can write until my fingers bleed, but each practice test essay we get I sit there drawing the biggest blank. I like writing about things that are interesting and can be written in a similarly interesting way. I guess everyone just has to dig a little bit harder to find a perspective in everything.
Lucas
I find it kind of funny how you said figurative language doesn’t pop into your head, when in just your first paragraph you had a personification and an alliteration. As for writing two sides of the spectrum, you’re spot on. I’ve read some amazing things from you and I’ve also read some…well you put it as, “I found out I’m boring.” =p. You just got to learn to start closing the gap between what you’re turning in and you’ll be a great writer all of the time!
S-Wright
“I enjoy writing. That being said, I have never thought of myself as a particularly good, or bad, writer.”
You are a great writer. Start thinking that! I mean, you can never run out of square footage to grow, additions can be added, walls can expand, but you already have an amazing house to begin with. You should have gotten a slight inclination of this today when NO ONE wanted to follow after you read part of your style analysis!
Stephen W.
ReplyDeleteStephen you are an amazing writer, any morning I get a chance to read your work it is amazing. You were the only one to get a 100 on the physics paper and that’s because you were genius enough to think to compare Pluto to Shakespeare. You may be just starting, but you have something I envy, the ability to be an awesome writer.
Alexis
You say that writing is a way to hide the darkness inside you. I am the complete opposite. There are things I can’t say aloud that I feel comfortable writing, as long as I don’t have to read that writing out loud.
Poaja
“Now that I am in AP Lang, I have written ten times more than I have in the past years. I have to admit, I’m slowly progressing but I feel like I’m still miles away from where I ought to be.”
I totally understand how you feel. I think that all the writing we are doing this year, for the first time, is helping our writing so much. I especially think, our group read out-loud are helpful. I’m still not where I want to be just as you aren’t, but I think with Bunje kicking our buts, we will be there soon.
Brynne:
ReplyDelete“When I was in elementary school, I swore that one day I would become a well- acclaimed author. My concepts may have been pointless, but it through my writing I felt like I could escape and create ideas on how I viewed the world or on things that really mattered to me.” I know I quoted a long line from your blog, but I just related to this part so much I had to copy it all. In middles school I too wanted to be an acclaimed author because I felt that writing could reach out to so many different parts of the realm of reality or for that matter, a dreamland. Wiring can be sculpted and changed into any way we want it to be. Therefore my liking of writing continued as my plans to become the world greatest author sadly started to seep away.
Manar:
"y0 WaZZ G00d; LyKe PiK Meh uP Ma H0M$KiLL." I found this very funny, and I also agree. What is the point of going through extra trouble to make words spelled wrong purposely, trying to sound “cool” I’m guessing? I don’t understand how trying to sound the most stupid that is humanly possible can project anything else except “here I come fast food chain for the rest of my life!” I have a extremely immense problem with people who purposely use far out slang for absolutely no reason, I keep racking my brain upon why someone would say or text something like that, but still no reasonable solution has crossed my brain.
Hannah:
“Honestly, when I write blogs I don't really let other people's thoughts or opinions change what I'm about to say.” I find myself feeling the same way, just because other people are reading what I’m writing doesn’t mean I have to impress anyone. Their thoughts are theirs, and mine are mine—both being unique and independent of each other. I hate how people try to make such a large impression on others, when other people’s opinion really doesn’t matter in the long run.
Pooooooooja!- "I was pretty stressed, I mean, when listening to my fellow classmates essays or reading few blogs I feel intimidated. However, right this moment, I don’t care as much mainly because I got tired of worrying and also I figured not everybody reads them let alone a few"
ReplyDeleteHAHA. I was laughing at the picture of you pulling your hair out. hehe. I feel the same way though. Some of you kids in our classes... Einsteins?! Very intimidating. I think you're brilliant though, Pooja! I just wish you would stop freaking out all the time, and believe more in yourself and your writing!
Maryam - "Of course, writing should not be limited to just assignments. Writing is an art. Art is creativity. Creativity is a portrayal of the imagination"
PFFT. SHUDDUP. You think you're so artsy fartsy! You and your tiger in art class! haha.
No, I'm kidding. I was actually going to say the same thing, but I would have worded it weird and sounded like a butt hole. You know I feel the same exact way. I really like the last line. Creativity is a portrayal of our imagination.
JV - "Recently, I’ve also found myself speaking in a Hispanic accent when I talk to Hispanic people. It’s really weird. But if you’ve been around me for a good amount of time, you’ll know what I mean. What’s the reason? Well, right now I’m not sure. I have two theories. One theory is that I just subconsciously do it because I’m trying to mind my audience so that they understand me better."
Hahahahahahahahaha. This was so well said. I'm sure everyone can relate to what you're talking about. Katherine would be proud.
Writing gives me mixed feelings. Blog writing, I love. Occasional papers, I love. Research papers, not so much. Analyses, to be honest, not so much either. I love writing what I’m feeling. It really helps me let go of whatever has been on my mind, but I definitely don’t do this enough. I would write in my free time because I really do think it’d be really beneficial to me, however, with my schedule, every free minute I have I just try to sleep since that is lacking. Like I said, writing where I can express myself and fully be myself, like blogs and occasional papers, I do enjoy though.
ReplyDeleteKnowing that I’m writing for a public audience affects my writing to some degree. I’m definitely still myself, however sometimes I’ll show my more mild, censored side. For example, on the notorious Facebook, sometimes I change what I write after thinking about who will see it. This is the same for what I say around different people. I think almost everyone can agree with me on that though. Most students will speak differently to a teacher or their parent than to another kid. There’s just that level of respect, as well as privacy. Blogs, even though they are open to the whole world, allow me to be myself and feel as if they are private. They’re kind of like entries in my own little diary. Bunje gives a topic and I say exactly how I feel about that specific topic. I like expressing my ideas and feelings this way rather than speaking because confidence doesn’t come into play. It’s a lot easier exposing my true feelings when hiding behind a computer than when standing in front of someone.
Even when face to face with someone, I definitely speak differently depending on who that person is. Obviously, as I previously mentioned, I speak differently to teachers and my parents than I do to close friends, but I even speak differently to my different groups of friends. I find myself speaking more intelligently and acting more mature when I’m with either my cousins or any of my older friends. I stay calm and don’t really ever act too crazy or speak out. I’m just chill. However, when I’m with my school friends, the ones I’ve been close to forever, I feel like I’m allowed to act and speak childishly without being judged or seen as annoying, weird, or stupid. I’m not being fake by doing this, though. There is more than one side to me. Sometimes I like to be just laid back and calm when other times I like to just let loose.
I act and speak differently around different people, not only for my own balance between the two sides of me, but for fear of being judged by others. I like to impress people. I like people to like me and think highly of me. When with kids my own age who I’ve known for a long time, I don’t feel like I need to seem as intelligent in order to impress them. However, I don’t want older people to see me as childish, immature, or unintelligent, so I try to use what brains I have to act calmly and sound somewhat intellectual. I don’t like the fact that I know I’m constantly being judged by people who don’t know me, but that’s how the world works and I’m just going to have to live with it.
Maryam: I agree with your opinion on how writing has its positives and negatives. I love your writing skills especially when you said, “Writing is an art. Art is creativity. Creativity is a portrayal of the imagination.” I admire in a way that you are the same person around all of your friends. They truly know it’s the real you. Even though my closest friends have seen both sides of me, I’m still fearful of coming off as fake to people I don’t know because after all, I have this thing where I just like to be liked. It really is a weakness of mine and I’m glad to see that you don’t have to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteAlexis: I admire your super awesome writing skills and wish I could steal some from you. Your metaphors are amazing and just flow so effortlessly. I could read anything written by you for days and not get tired of it.
Brittany: I couldn’t relate more to your feelings on writing being both a stalker, but at the same time a best friend. Everything you said, I just found myself nodding my head. I don’t really know you, I mean I know who you are, but we never had like a legitimate conversation, but it’s cool to see that we share the same feelings and ideas about writing.
Kristie:
ReplyDeleteHowever, just because I am an AP student doesn’t mean I’ve mastered the art of life and I know every synonym and definition and whatever else they think we know.
This is exactly how I think, too! I feel like since we take one AP class, everyone treats us differently because we’re “AP students and should know better.” Well, we’re still sixteen and seventeen year olds too! Just because we’re trying to get a jumpstart on our college education doesn’t mean we’re prodigies, or have a huge, drawn out life plan. Sorry for going on a rage, I just feel strongly about your post. ☺ It was lovely!
JV:
I have a lot of feelings. .. In fact, everyone does… I hope.
I think I’m the exception to this statement. I mean I know I have feelings, I just don’t know where to find them! People are always asking me how I feel about certain things, and I don’t know what to say. I’m jealous that you’re so in-tune with yourself. Help me!
Kyra:
I love your attitude! Your blogs are always so carefree and awesome to read. I really feel like your blogs are flowing right from your brain, like you said in your post. I always go crazy with my closest friends, too. It’s nice to have people you can always be yourself around.
Word of advice; if you ever piss me off, I just might write a really mean poem about you…
ReplyDeleteI do not often trust people enough to let them into my circle of trust. So most of the time, to be honest, you will not know what I am truly thinking, unless you are one of the select people that I allow to invade my world. Yet, when I write in these blogs, I pour myself into each word. Why? Because writing has always been, and is, my only way to tell vent the way I truly feel.
Though I love good grades, I do not love writing to raise my GPA. I love writing because no one can tell can tell me what I can or can not write. The blank piece of paper (or more often the computer screen) is neither condescending nor abrasive. It does not attempt to control me. That piece of paper actually provides me the independence, which I crave for but often never receive.
Through a poem or a story, I can illustrate all my anger, fears, and hopes. I can be who I am in. It is me, uncensored (most of the time). Through writing, I free myself from all emotion, psychological, and even physical bondages of my life. When I write and read (as well as sleep), I am truly happy. I am truly free.
I am not AS free when writing for a public. Knowing that god-knows-who is reading my writing, tends to make me self-conscious. I often reread my word two times, at least. Then I usually decide that what I have written is too uncensored, and then delete, delete, delete away.
The way you write says a lot about you, as a person. Therefore I want to put my best foot forward by writing as eloquently as possible (easier said than done). I want people to read my work, which essentially is an intimate part of me, and say “This girl is insightful”. So when I write “publically” I tend to spend more time making a good impression, then writing what I feel ( If you ever want to see the real Uroosa then you would have to read my “ROOBOOK”. But then again, I probably would never allow you to read it )
Speaking is a whole other story. When I speak, I am the same with everyone; a rambling, discombobulated mess. I usually never make a point and I go on and on about things that are completely irrelevant. I just have a difficult time with articulating myself. Ideas make sense in my head but when I attempt to communicate these ideas, I fail miserably.
Comment 1
ReplyDeleteTo Dylan: I completely agreed with everything you said. I am so paranoid about people reading anything I have written. I feel like I am naked in front of them. I also enjoy when my sentences flow (it is a rare treat). I love it when I write an epic line. I just feel so good about myself. I know: NERD ALERT.
PART 1
ReplyDeleteMy diary, I can safely say, is my book of life. Okay, that may have sounded a bit general and cliché, but I’m not lying when I say that I write my complete life story in my diary. Now, I’m not writing a dramatic auto-biography in hopes that future generations will unearth this masterpiece and proclaim it to be a work of art. Nor am I writing it for the sake of my future great-grand children to read and pity my boring teenage life. My diary is sealed with a key, so no one will be peeking into it (unless they happen to find the key). I wrote in it for myself. The first entry of this diary is dated exactly Wednesday, June 29, 2005, which was the summer that I discovered the emotionally satisfying concept of writing. Before that summer, I ran into friend troubles and became what some may call “emo”. One diary entry followed the other, and soon writing at night became a mandatory ritual. No doubt did this every day tradition improve my writing, for it strengthened my overall voice. Every writing assignment in school was a light breeze on a perfect sunny day, and my excellent English grades reflected my enthusiasm. I completely and thoroughly enjoy writing, for it sparks the both creative and sensitive side that I usually hide.
In my diary, when I write to primarily myself, I occasionally use the “omg” or the “haha”, simply because I’m being extremely informal and conversational. I guess I’m not motivated when I’m writing to myself; I just splurge out my emotions in an instinctive manner. But, when I grab my pencil and paper knowing that a public audience will read it, you could say I become more provoked and willing to show off my duds. After all, my imaginative writing does make up for my dim-witted behavior in Calculus class. It’s fun, in my opinion, speaking to an audience, especially if your concepts are relatable. I love when people can relate to me, and since I’m not the best when it comes to literal speaking, my writing abilities aid me in truly telling my thoughts. Sure, I’m conscious of what I write, and I’m not going to deny that. You always have to put a little thought into everything you write, unless you want to sound like an utter fool. Yet, I’m not going to change my entire writing style to impress friends or peers. To my fellow AP Langers, here is how I write, so enjoy it as much as I do. Nevertheless, there is ALWAYS room for improvement, so I constantly try to take my writing aptitude to the next level.
PART 2
ReplyDeleteIn terms of conversational talk, the difference in my speech varies. I may talk to my friends informally, and I may talk to my teachers and parents in a very respectable and courteous manner, but it doesn’t necessarily mean I act like a completely different person. At times, my tone changes from person to person, depending on who they are, but I’ll always speak as the same, sarcastic, corny, dramatic Chrissy, and my speech definitely reflects that, whether formal or not. Family members, since they know me more than my diary itself, are basically spoken to in a formal but easy-going tone. If I’m talking about a TV show, like the Jersey Shore, with my friends, I’ll probably be speaking in a New York accent and spitting out second grade vocabulary. But, most of the time, I speak consistently with most groups. The way I speak with Bunje is similar to the way I speak with Taylor. Besides my immature conversations and inside jokes to certain people, what I say is who I am, and unless you’re an unintelligent guido and cannot fully comprehend what I am saying, I will speak to you similarly to how I write.
I have an obvious confidence problem, and so there is no doubt that I am being judged on my speaking and writing skills. I wouldn’t say that I’m paranoid, but I am certainly conscious of judgment. I’m judged my everyone and anyone. Being judged isn’t a bad thing; I believe it’s an inevitable habit readers will do. When I’m reading an excerpt from an AP multiple choice packet, I automatically judge the writer’s piece, and immediately decide whether I dig it or not. Speech, as well, is an inevitable judgment. This is why I desperately am trying to halt my habit of saying “like”. In the 8th grade, for instance, I had to make a speech for my drama department, and since the speech was all improvised, my mouth ended up spewing out “like” literally fifty times. Everyone both on stage and out in the audience mocked me, and I ran off the stage with tears of humiliation. So, in some instances, it’s a little frightening knowing that someone is ridiculing my speech, but once I have my confidence issue worked out, I believe I’ll get over being worried about what other people think.
When I train for soccer, 99.9% of my focus is technique (that’s a scientifically calculated percentage; don’t question it). I break down every action and go through it nice and slow. Then I put it all together and make it one fluid movement, but am still extremely technique-conscious. The theory in doing this is that when game time comes, I won’t have to think about anything- I’ll just perform based on instinct. Most of my mistakes in games correspond with me thinking about my decisions. That’s how I am with anything. When I read, I think about mechanics and techniques of somebody else’s writing, but I find my gateway to the green grass of good grades when I’m out for a (figurative) mind-clearing morning jog and just take whatever path feels right at that instant, choose whatever words feel right at that instant, but when I plan out my route and scrutinize every turn, I almost always come across the bush that the GPA-killing creeper hides behind.
ReplyDeleteAnd here, I’m on my morning jog, except it’s through your living room, or your office, or your den, or your bedroom, or wherever it is that you read the blog. You may expect that I’d freeze like a deer in the headlights, but in actuality, I realize I’m just on a jog with some pretty darn cool people. When I let my ideas flow, the fact that I’m writing for an audience doesn’t directly affect what I write. Maybe it’s some unconscious decision to write a certain way. Remember, it’s game time- this is instinct, baby,
But I suppose it affects my grammatical choices, much like how I dress in my nicest goalkeeping jersey for a college showcase but in any old jersey for practice. I try not to end sentences in prepositions just like I try not to wear that ugly orange Reusch jersey with the paint stain. When I text my boo though (I don’t have a boo…) I don’t really care if I end every sentence in a preposition. IDC if my wrds r abbrev. & my grammar sorta sux. It doesn’t bother me when my sentences look like the one before this, but I still write with the same method, just keep writing, writing, writing; just keep writing (to the tune of “Just Keep Swimming” by Dory the Blue Tang Fish).
Conversation is another story. I generally have an idea of where the GPA/social life/reputation- killing creeper hides when it comes to speaking. I think about my words when I’m talking to someone with a title. I’ve never walked up to a college coach and said “Ayo! Wha’s goin’ on in this hizzou?” And no, I don’t know what that means either. But I also don’t walk up to one and say “Hello there, kind sir. How are you doing on this fine evening?” I may think about what I say, but I’m not a different person. I talk to a titled person much like I talk to my best friend, my “kinda friend,” my sister, and my mom, but not in exactly the same way. I’m still the same person saying the same thing, but I most definitely adjust my diction and tone to fit the occasion. I say “hi” instead of “hey.” I speak with a slightly more projectile voice. I think about my body language and never cross my arms in front of me or look around or play with my hands like I usually do. That’s not to say that I don’t think at all when I talk to other people. I try to think before I speak when around everyone else, too, but the sentry guarding the space between my brain and tongue must have narcolepsy (not a good trait in a guard) because he lets an awful lot of things slip through the cracks.
Only God can judge me, but everyone else does, too. I write off the top of my head because I know it usually works out well. So in actuality, maybe I write how I write because I know it works well and people are going to judge me based on it. Thinking too much about my decision not to think because I really am thinking may just make my head explode. But I do know that I speak from a pre-written mental script because I know it turns out less bad than when I just speak. I know I do this because people judge.
Comment 2
ReplyDeleteTo Kaitlin:
We could all use some more sleep (haha :D). I agree that sometimes it is imperative for you to know your audience. It would be ridiculous to state that you are going partying, if your mom is one of your friends. Like you, I also enjoy writing creatively and freely ( i.e. Occasion papers and blogs). Analysis…YUCK.
Almost a year ago I finished writing my first novel. I’ve written poetry and short stories since I was little, but the idea of writing a novel was always really intimidating. Around second grade I started telling people I would be a novelist. Unfortunately though, I always had this fear that I couldn’t actually do it, so I tried it. I succeeded. I have a lot of editing and polishing to do, but no one’s first draft is perfect. Writing is just a part of me. I’ve doubted before whether I will be able to find a career in it, but no matter what I do I know I will still write for myself. However sometimes I can’t just write for myself. I have to tone myself down or elaborate on my ideas, so others can relate to them. I try to hold onto my beliefs and ideas. My brain often connects ideas very differently than other’s do, and I tend to relate more to abstract thought. I feel like I have to reign my writing in to make it more understandable to others.
ReplyDeleteIn chemistry or a math class, I speak much more straightforwardly and simply. With friends, I’m often goofy. I say ridiculous things or drag out inside jokes. With my family, I’m usually plain-spoken and on the boring side as far as word choice goes. When I’m around horse related friends, I use a lot of equestrian jargon, usually without noticing I’m doing it. In AP Lang and with Bunje, I tend to explain my ideas more, and speak in a more figurative way. I have adapted to these different worlds in my life. Part of that process is being able to address all these different people in a way suited to them or our relationship. This could be perceived as being fake, but I believe everyone does it in their own way. I am not changing myself for these various groups. I am just switching the path through which I connect to them. If I’m talking on the phone, no matter who I talk to my voice is the same. However I have to dial a different number to connect to different people. I believe everyone judges you by the way you speak, and those who have the opportunity to judge you by your writing. I like to think of this as an opportunity. Many people will probably see me differently after reading my writing. I am going to try to make the most of that.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteComment 3
ReplyDeletePooja:
I am with you!!!!I feel so intimidated sometimes that I just want to hide under my covers. It makes me feel very insecure if I feel like my writing is significantly worse then someone else. I think it is because when you write, you show the world a little vulnerable part of your soul. Therefore when you feel your writing is inadequate, you feel inadequate as a person.
"I often think that my writing is too simplistic, that if it isn’t rife with metaphor it isn’t good enough."
ReplyDeleteI often feel the same way, but then I read a post like yours, and even though it's not "rife with metaphor" and really is "simplistic," I realize I enjoyed reading it. Writing isn't all about flowery language, sometimes the best thing is just to say what you mean.
UROOSA-
ReplyDelete“I do not often trust people enough to let them into my circle of trust. So most of the time, to be honest, you will not know what I am truly thinking, unless you are one of the select people that I allow to invade my world. Yet, when I write in these blogs, I pour myself into each word. Why? Because writing has always been, and is, my only way to tell vent the way I truly feel.”
I think that’s true to everyone. I believe we all, except for select few who keep their emotions strictly to themselves, have those few select people who are trustworthy enough to keep your dark secrets, and you can safely speak to them as your true self. Similarly to you, I always pour my emotions out of these blogs. It’s not because I trust my AP Langers (although I do), it’s just my writing allows me to release these emotions rightfully. Your blog was extremely relatable Roo, and I feel as though our passion for writing is very similar. We are the creative kind of writers, and as I told you in Spanish today, we’ll be miserable in AP Lit.
Kyle:
ReplyDelete"It's a simple formula, time and a brain, and when I feel like my brain isn't as sharp as it could be, I just sprinkle in some more time (at least that's what I used to be able to do; nowadays I dream about begging every clock in the world to freeze up all at once)."
I never really thought about it, but that makes total sense. And that dream has become all-too-familiar lately.
I really, really, really liked your post. Either you spent a lot of time or you have a lot of brain, maybe even both.
I talk. In fact, I rarely stop. For some odd reason, when I talk to people, I feel like they don't judge what I say, though I'm well aware that they do. When I write, my paper is always judged. It's given a grade for grammar and completeness. Well, sometimes my thoughts aren't complete. They're more complex than I have the ability to express, and I suppose that that's the downfall of my writing. So I ask myself, "If you can express really complex thoughts when you talk, why can't you write them?" I'm not quite sure of the answer.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it's the pressure. I prefer, as do most people, to write a paper on a topic that I care about. But when I’m given a topic that doesn’t even remotely interests me, my mind wanders and I can’t think of enough to say. I’m quite the blunt, brief person. When the page suggestion is two to three pages, my paper doesn’t even reach two. My mind goes blank when I sit down to write.
So for me, writing is something I enjoy when I care about the topic, the reason why I absolutely love writing occasional papers. They are the perfect templates to express myself. Writing is certainly an instrument of intellectuality, but it can be a chore at times. Writing is more pleasurably when it’s at my own pace. I know, I know, there’s always going to be deadlines and timelines, but I’d enjoy it more if I had more time. Sometimes my busy schedule prohibits my complete focus. Everyone has a life, but with cheer, singing, family, and friends on the mind, I find it difficult to focus.
When I do write, though, I’m completely honest no matter who I’m talking to. I do however, change the way I talk to different people. I tend to be more respectful when I talk to authority figures, because it’s polite and they deserve to be respected. When I talk to my best friends, I don’t even have to say everything before they figure out the rest of my sentence. Party friends aren’t typically the ones I talk to a lot, and so I don’t have much to say to them. For the most part, I ramble to everyone. I think it makes better conversation and lightens any mood. It’s me. It’s quite the opposite of my writing style which is why there’s such a dichotomy between my writing and my speaking. I’d rather speak, but writing doesn’t bother me.
Maryam-
ReplyDelete“The greater passion that exists, the less writing will be a burden.”
I whole-heartedly agree! For some writing assignments, like strict five paragraph essays, writing can be a drag, and I just have no motivation for it. Others, like if we were to be assigned to write a compelling and creative narrative, writing is so much fun, and thus I put all of my passion into it. Like I said in my blog, we ARE judged on our writing in speech, even if we wish to deny it. Your blog was very comparable to all of my points made on my blog, and I nodded my head on every relatable point you touched. But, I’m going have to disagree when you say that writing isn’t your forte. I really take pleasure in your unique writing style. It’s very you!
Jon W:
ReplyDeleteYou really are a good speaker. People listen to you. You have this sort of charisma to you that has been evident since the first day of Spanish with Mrs. Nath freshman year.
PS- I got some more stickers :]
That first comment was for Lucas by the way.
ReplyDeleteChrissy- I love the fact that you still write in a diary. It's a great way to express yourself and not too many people take advantage of that opportunity, including myself.
ReplyDeleteSimon-
ReplyDelete"Writing is the bane of my existence. It’s a hateful chore. It’s a dreadful stalker lying in wait to destroy my lofty GPA. It’s behind the brown, diaphanous dead bush standing on its two feet with its arched back and bent knees, waiting to run dart up when I pass by, shoot me in the head, and stab me ten times for safety. I hate writing. I hate writing not because it deflates my floating GPA, although that does affect how I feel, but mostly because writing sucks."
Okay, your opening paragraph seriously kicked butt. It was compelling and it definitely showed off your fierce writing skills. As for the rest of your blog, I had to disagree. Unlike you, I love writing. How could you possibly hate writing Simon? After all, you seem pretty good at it!
Alexis: Your opening was really good! :) You, along with many other people said that you don't write the same when you know it will be public. I think that you should let go of it and write your heart out. It establishes voice and shows who you really are. It will be easier when you can be yourself.
ReplyDeleteJV: Wow. that was a lot, but I've realized that you have become more open in your writing. I think you've gotten a lot more comfortable expressing yourself lately and I'm very glad to hear that.
The pressures of the whole world completely evaporate as the words seem to fall to the paper. The exhilaration is indescribable. To me, writing is like a savior, helping get mind controlling thoughts out.. However nonsensical that sounds.
ReplyDeleteWhen my grade edges between two letters, my extra credit essay usually rounds that grade to the higher letter, but that’s not writings existence to me. To me, writing is liberation. Some days, I will write a story in my head just to forget about whatever I was mad about, liberating me from unnecessary stress. I wish I had more time to write without having a due date, or even having to hand it into a teacher. Because to me, Words are a constant, but ideas expressed with them are amazingly mercurial. My fascination with that phenomenon easily provides me with motivation. Even when writers block is at hand.
Honestly, I forgot this blog was public. But reading it now, it doesn’t faze me, my words explained are always genuine. Truth is needed. Being conscious of my peers who read my blogs, I do try to write in proper grammatical form. However, I don’t ever change the way I write.. At least I don’t think I do.
In conversation, there is obviously times were it is necessary to speak formally, and times where you’re better off speaking colloquially, but that never means my ideas expressed differ. With friends, and most family I speak casually. Most thoughts I need to get across to my close friends and family need no words, and words that need to be spoken would sound, ironically, stupid if they were spoken formally. To you, Ms. Bunje, I speak as if you were my mom, I really love that fact. You know, know how to be brutally honest, and show a new side to a situation. I’ve grown to trust everyone on this blog, in one way or another. I trust everyone enough to feel the need to share my opinion. I wouldn’t waste words and energy on something/one I don’t care about.
The premise of being judged on your writing and speaking is naturally inevitable. You are judged by everyone, everyday. Have you ever heard someone in the hallway scream something totally ridiculously inappropriate? That doesn’t even need explanation… I can almost guarantee that at least for one moment post-hearing, that you thought, “wow, people are so stupid.” It’s a sad truth, but a truth at that. No matter which way anyone feels about that truth, doesn’t change it, but I kind of like it. I enjoy the idea that people feel motivated, motivated for betterment, in a sense. You’re more likely to put your best foot forward, if ten other feet are present.
Kyle
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about how awesome writing is. I’m really glad you mentioned how much room for improvement there is. Thanks to genetics, some people will never be gifted in sports. Some are extremely shy or are poor speakers. All of these people can still work diligently and become amazing writers. I think you were really honest about how you change around different groups. I respect that a lot and it’s really refreshing to hear.
Gwen
Maybe you just haven’t found your style yet. Keep writing and you will definitely improve. Also reflecting more on your ideas, or using metaphors to help you clarify them might help. I go through periods where writing feels really natural, then I have dry spells. I think that happens with a lot of people but it’s frustrating. I really want to hear about this dream! You have me so curious. I dream a lot too. I take them way too seriously, and they’re always stuck in my head.
Good night LANGERS!!!!
ReplyDeleteKaitlin: You're alot of fun, and I couldn't imagine any one judging you in a negative light. I loved your introduction, it was so you. And your conclusion, just as much :P
ReplyDeleteUroosa: You really are an incredibly intune and insightful person. I wish you had more confidence to show everyone that! I agree and can relate to most of your blog, writing feels that way exactly to me too.
Kristen:"I’m completely honest no matter who I’m talking to." That is the pure truth. I love going to you for advice, because I know my answer is going to be the one I needed to hear. I think you're writing explains your thoughts, at least it usually explains who you are; an amazing person.
I love writing…for myself. When I’m happy, sad, angry, or excited I write about it. It’s an outlet for my emotions in their rawest form. When I was younger, I loved writing poetry. I wrote poems for family members, local contests, and just for me. Insert a due date and a grade and it losses almost all of its appeal. I wish I could say that that was an exaggeration, but sadly I can’t.
ReplyDeleteCensorship.
Anyone who was in AP Government last year knows censorship to be something the government, companies, schools, or other outlets of “The Man” use to “keep us down.” (Well, that’s how I saw it…ha-ha)
Censorship to me, though, exists everywhere. It exists everywhere because I create it. Some of you may not believe this, but I rarely give my full opinion to anyone and especially not in this blog. Sure, I’m honest in here, but I don’t like putting myself out there and I definitely hold back a bit.
As for my actual writing style, I try to be very conscious of how I’m writing. Let’s be honest, we all judge each other on grammar, style, and diction. When you take a class like this one it’s hard NOT to pick apart everything you read, even more so the writing of your peers. I don’t aim to impress anyone on this blog with the way I write (except for maybe Bunje… ;]) but it’d be foolish of me if I didn’t even try to incorporate what I’ve learned into this assignment.
After thinking long and hard about my groups of friends, I’ve realized that I don’t necessarily have different categories. Sure, if someone who didn’t know any of them had to put them into different classifications I’m sure they would be able to. But a friend’s a friend to me. It doesn’t matter if I know them from band, English class, swimming, my old neighborhood, from around the corner, or even if they’re a family member, I feel like I’d be lying if I didn’t act like the same ME to all of them. That may have been the reason why I’ve lost friends or the chance at good relationships with my family members but (don’t mind the corn) take it or leave it, it’s their loss.
Like I stated before, we are all judging each other. We judge each other as much on the way each other dresses as the words we use in everyday conversation. Judgment is a part of life though, and even with as off-base as most judgments can be we can either let them rule our lives or say “What they said isn’t true, so why am I worrying about it?”
For me, writing is my instrument of intellectuality, gateway to the green grass of good grades. I enjoy writing, and I like to think that I am decently good at it. But, I rarely write any time other than for an assignment, since I have very little time - so when I do write, I usually give it my all, whether I like the assignment or not, just for the sake of writing. Unfortunately, the fact that my work is being read and reviewed by people who I have to interact with on a daily basis makes it important that I not reveal my true persona too much. I have been told that I am an unusual person, and that my quirks are not exactly likeable. My life story is rather twisted and private. If I were to tell the world what I feel and why, it would have repercussions that I am not willing to put up with. But that's all that I change: my grammar and spelling, I try to keep impeccably accurate, colloquialisms aside, because my ability to use words is very important to me.
ReplyDeleteApplied to everyday life, the way I censor my writing is the same as the way I censor myself. I am least censored with my family, which tends to bring out conflicting emotions in them, and most censored with my peers. The key factor in the degree of censorship I use is trust. I trust few people, and I trust in degrees, with family at the top (although that does not serve to say that I trust them even near to entirely) and peers at the far, far bottom. My experiences show that no matter how kind or generous or understanding a person is, they can still turn around and stab you in the back - and with my luck, the people I try to get close to usually do.
I do feel that I am judged on the way that I speak, so I change the way that I speak appropriately. I try to appear as similar to a person as possible if I don't know them, as far as speech goes, and when I know someone, I try to act 'natural'. I feel that it is human nature to judge people, and I think that the way a person speaks is a reasonable way to judge a person, so my feelings on being judged that way are neutral.
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ReplyDelete