It has been said that teenagers poised on the precipice of adulthood have two fundamental fears: 1, the idea of change and/or 2, the possibility of making the "wrong" choice.
Now, I know that there are plenty of people who will tell me that the idea of change, especially if it includes a change of scenery from sunny Mays Landing/Mullica to just about anywhere else would be welcomed with open arms and a huge, block-lettered sign.
But, despite the "senioritis" (which has no known medical impliaction by the way AND should not even be an issue since you're JUNIORS!!!)that you have all felt creeping in on you, you have to admit that, at its core, change is a scary proposition. After all, the intrinsic nature of change is that of the unknown, the unchartered, the unfamiliar and the unrevealed.
So, if you are one of the restless souls who yearns for change--what is it about it that is so appealing to you? What do you hope the changes you want to seek out, to undergo or to witness will mean for you, your future, your life? On the other hand, if you are one who double locks the door when change comes a-knockin', tell me what it is about the prospect of it that fightens you. What do you think might happen?
Now, one of Change's many dance partners is Choice. Right/wrong, smart/stupid, bad/ good..choice exists and you are confronted with the notion of it every single day. Sometimes, these are choices of epic proportions--break-up or stay together; cheat or suck it up and take a zero; confront the back-stabbing friend or let it go; get high just this once or walk away never knowing; and sometimes it can be as inconsequential as chicken patty or PB&J.
Either way, your mind has a process it undergoes when you have to make a choice. Tell me about it. Do your weigh all your options and consider possible outcomes, or do you dive in and hope the water isn't too cold? I think I am mix-metaphoring myself into a corner here--but I know you know what I mean. When you are confronted with a choice--how do you make it? Do you seek advice from anyone in particular? Rely solely on your wits? Why?
(450 words/75pts)
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I am terrified of change. For as long as I can remember I have like things done a certain way, and when things don’t go the way they were planned I get scared and crazy. The biggest change that all of us will soon go through is college. Our whole lives will change drastically when we go to college, this terrifies me. In my little bubble at Oakcrest I welcome change. However I only welcome it within my little bubble. This may sound stupid, so I’ll explain. As a junior at Oakcrest, I know how Oakcrest works, I have become familiar with the teachers the students and the surroundings. Each new year at Oakcrest is exciting for me, in fact each new marking period is exciting; new binders, new books, new teachers. However, all these “new” thing lie within my bubble. I like my bubble. When we go off to college we are doing just that, going “off”. I don’t want to go off anywhere, the off is what scares me to my core. I don’t know anything about the place I will be going off to. I don’t know the students, the teachers, even then campus. All this unknown terrifies me.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think anything bad will happen to me when all of this change occurs. However, I do fear how I will react with all this change. Will I be able to handle whatever my new college throws at me? I fear not.
When it comes to making choices my mind is strange, shocking I know. Sometimes I really think about what I am doing, and sometimes I don’t. I think I can break the choices I make down to two groups. There are the choices I make about what I am going to do, physically. The second group is the choices I make when I say things. When I am getting ready to do something, or make a decision about something I am doing, I think about it thoroughly. Whether it’s buying an expensive item, or deciding what color to highlight my paper with, I always think it through very carefully. Unfortunately, whenever I am speaking I don’t always have that same thinking process, and by “don’t always” I mean never. I just say what I feel; I don’t ever intend to hurt or offend someone, however sometimes I do. I’m working on that.
When it comes to advice, I am very picky with who I take it from. There are very few people who I actually trust, this narrows down my selection dramatically. Within my group of trusted people, I don’t trust everyone with every situation. For example, I love my brother. However, he does things I don’t agree with and I would not go to him for moral advice.
Part 1:
ReplyDeleteThroughout my life it seems that each year one major thing happens that changes my life. I've made best friends, moved twice, lost important people to me, graduated middle school, and began high school. And now eleventh grade- my dad is getting re-married in a month and I have a step family and a new house. At first all of these events felt like change, but now that I think about it change is normal. If I didn't have change then that would be the real change in my life. Because of that I consider myself someone who yearns for change.
When I first read this question I thought I was someone who didn't like change because there's a chance that the change is for the worst. But now that I think about it, I would feel weird without change and sometimes it can be for the best. Life would be so boring if it was all the same- I'd wake up every day, eat Lucky Charms for breakfast, go to school, play soccer, do homework, sleep, and repeat. I need something to happen during the day that can make it interesting in both good and bad ways. Change can mean trying new things, like new sports, meeting new people, and taking up new hobbies. To me I find this appealing because it makes my life more interesting and fun. Without that I would be like a robot with the same exact routine. In my eyes, change is good.
My next big change will be graduating high school and with that I hope to change my location, sports teams, and friends. Not that I have a problem with any of these, because I certainly don't, it's just that sometimes it can get boring. I will miss Oakcrest soccer with every fiber of my being, however I know I can't play on it forever. It will be nice for some change and to play on a college level team instead. Also, I will meet new people in college and have a whole new routine. Change just seems exciting and I want to see how well I can adapt to it. Most teachers have always said that it is hard to make it on your own, but I want to really find out if I can. Change is usually a challenge, and being a competitive person, I like that.
Part 2:
ReplyDeleteWhen I am making choices, I don't think that I really think them through. I'm not the type of person to sit and think what would happen if I make this choice or the other one. I usually just go with what I want to do. I'm confronted with choices every day, like should I go to that party or get some sleep, should I skip soccer and study for Lang instead.. When I make these decisions, however, I do think about what I want to do with my life. What I really want to do is play sports in college and become a pharmacist with my friend. Will going to a party in the winter (the off-season) effect my chances of a sports scholarship? Possibly, but there's a good chance it won't. It's hard to decide between certain things, and I'm not a good decision maker, so it's easier to just switch up my decisions. Some days I will stay home from soccer to write an essay, others I will go to soccer and work on my essay at night.
There's no one that I can seek advice from anymore because any decision that I make is mine. People shouldn't have to help me make decisions that will effect my own life. If there is a problem and they think I am doing something wrong, then they have the right to tell me, but I think asking other people for their advice about a choice is a waste of time. That person usually won't be there in the future to help you, so you shouldn't rely on them too much now. I've trusted a lot of people and have become very close to them, but before I knew it they were gone in one way or another. I've learned to just make my own decisions and rely on myself to do what I think is acceptable at the time and place. I stopped listening to what other people say about “right and wrong” and have just done what I believe in.
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ReplyDeleteI like knowing what lies inside my four walls. I like knowing if I take two quick paces left, I will run into a television stand. I like knowing the walls of my room will always be Tiffany Box blue with a wall full of multicolored stripes. I take comfort knowing that Monday through Wednesday I will, without a doubt, be eating turkey and cheese and some variation of fruit. What I do not like, is knowing in less than two years my 4 walls will be drastically different than the ones I call home, that the lunch I’m so accustomed to will be up to a college kitchen staff, and that the people I’ve been with for 16 years will be 2 hours away at any moment.
ReplyDeleteChange scare me? My friends, I call that lovely ditty a full blown understatement. I am terrified of what’s to come. Call me crazy, but I love high school. I love that every teacher I’ve ever had knows me by first name and that I can tell you exactly where I will be at 1 pm each day. I’m a fan of comfort. Like many others, I have no idea what I want to do with my life, I’ve tossed around some possibilities but I’ve come to realize my talents are unprofitable at best. I’m about to shovel thousands of dollars into a future that’s as fuzzy as giving the middle finger on television. That scares me. Even in the next few months, my best friend and boyfriend are going to be hours away, yea that scares me a hell of a lot, too. It’s about not knowing. I’ve never been a fan of surprises, I cried when my parents threw me a surprise party, mind you. After high school is a big fat surprise party made up of guests I’ve never seen, cake I’ve never dreamed of and games I’ve never even heard of.
I’m sure my fears are misplaced, I like to think I’ll assimilate to the new environment and routine of life, I’ll decide upon a major and I’ll have a successful life. That’s just the optimism speaking though. What my heart thinks? I won’t see the people I see everyday ever again. You’ll all be gone…forever. I’ll sit in a dorm room pouring over papers for a liberal arts degree that’ll get me nowhere fast. Then I’ll get into a confining cubicle and jump out a window. Ok that’s the drama queen talking. Fact is, I just don’t know what I think will happen and that’s exactly what’s so god damn scary.
As for the choices, I haven’t always made the best, but I’ve learned why. I’ve always been an option weigher. In life, all you’ve really got is yourself, but it never hurts to get an outside opinion so, I lay out every possible road and map it start to finish. Then I consult with a friend, then I write a pro and con list, then I consult once more, and then, after all that, I’m ready to make the choice. For a little while there, I followed my preset formula and then ignored it all. All of it, consequences, plans, everything. Just threw it away like yesterday’s crappy dinner. But now I’ve come to realize why I do all of the pre-thought, to make the best choice for me. Seems simple kindergarten stuff, I know, but we all have our moments- well times I suppose. But I’ve learned to listen to myself and it turns out when I do, I’m not so bad at picking the right road to follow, you know as long as that road doesn’t lead to change, at which point it’s a dirt path shaded with creepy trees, lightning bolts and completed with eerie, suspenseful music.
Part One-
ReplyDeleteWhat’s life without change? It’s what gives lives zest, excitement and always keeps our lives eventful. Change can be ordering something new on the menu , to move to another state. Change is exciting , upsetting, ugly, pretty, etc. Personally, I love change, I hate the same scenery, running trail and same fashion trends. I quest for new atmosphere, experiences, encountering new people and a most of all a new me. I am also excited, restive and eager to venture on to the next phase of my life. While others cry because they have to start applying and looking for colleges, I smile and with wide-eyes thrilled with life outside of Oakcrest. Maybe because I believe my future holds more out in the real world then it ever did in Mays Landing. Change never scares me, four years is enough of this place, where memories in my house this school of the person I once was. I feel living always reminds me of the past. I am ready to expand my wings and fly off to somewhere that I am unknown and unsure of. Like the day I went on the campus of University of Arizona, I didn’t know one soul, but I felt my life developing who I could become and the opportunities that lurked. The experiences I can have and the friendships I could cultivate. I even went far enough to believe my future husband could be on the campus. It didn’t matter what nonsensical ideas I was cultivating, it just felt so good to believe that once you live high school the world is your oyster. Change never scares me, because I don’t really attach to anybody, nothing holds me back, and what I always know is that you somehow will always find your way. While others are fearing from being two hours away from home , I want to go to college on the West coast and I am not scared but actually really hyped up! I love change because I feel that even good or bad you learn more about yourself.
Part 2-
ReplyDeleteThough change gives you I believe a direction in who you are to make decisions for yourself, I am the worst decision maker. The reason why I am the worst decision maker is because I jump in right into the water, not cautious about what could happen. There is never contemplation I just hope everything works out in the end. I wouldn’t say I am fearless or gutsy, I just guess I sometimes love living spontaneously . I guess I am stubborn once I make a decision I stick with it even if it’s something I know I will regret. My mom wishes I was more cautious in the decisions I make. Now, I cant say that I am quick to make decisions, when it involves my heart , friendships, and definitely choices with others I succumb to contemplation. It’s hard not to weight the outcomes of decisions that could break your heart but save a friendship. Decisions that could make your life better but is hard to give up? It’s stuff that is close to my heart that take time and consideration and weighing to figure out what will happen if I do this. When these choices present themselves to me I never make a decision. I pretend that I never had the choice, use it as a façade because I knew the choices, but nobody else does. I consult people to ask them what I do but I know solely that it always is up to me when it is personal matters. Sometimes I depend on people, but asking for too much advice creates self-reliance something an unhealthy habit. Decisions that hit close to home, are hard, I avoid that I picked one choice over another because for me most of the choices I have been dealt that have created knots in my stomach. Are the decisions from those choices that are the ones I have regretted the most.
Taylor- I know that you don't like change, because it's very obvious in your first paragraph, but does it ever get boring? Like eating the same thing, hanging out with the same people, and looking at the same walls would bore the crap out of me!! I guess everyone sees stuff differently, and you're probably scared that all change will be for the worse or something. You never know though, sometimes change does help in a lot of ways.
ReplyDeleteI like change, but at the same time, it terrifies me and I cannot go through with it blinded. I like change because it feels like I'm moving, like I'm making progress in some sort of direction. I like moving, I like feeling like I'm growing instead of just staying still. Stability to some extent is vital in everyone's life, but mundane, repetitive processes don't interest me at all. Though, I will always be scared. I'll always be terrified that something will go horribly wrong and my life will collapse and completely disengage. I'm hoping that whatever changes I make in my life will make it better than ever, will make me a better, more experienced person and will make me happier. I just overall want to live a worthwhile life and take advantage of everything that comes my way, and usually opportunity implies some sort of change or stepping out of my comfort zone. But, of course I will always be scared, as I said before. Every risk I take that could enrich my life, can also completely break it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I make choices I always try, and I stress "try", to play the different possibilities that could happen, how it would look in my point of view, how it would look in everyone else's point of view and if something similar has happened before. Though, record shows that I'm an impulsive, reckless girl, meaning that the process in choice-making usually never happens often, or, often enough. Usually, my mind is moving a mile a minute, so when approached with a choice it's, "What do you feel? Do it. Done." But if I have time to make a choice, the process will be done, but usually would turn out to be the same outcome as if I just tackled it head on. No matter what the choice is, I usually try to pick the choice that would benefit the most people possible- not just me, not just another person, but everyone. But if that fails, then I usually choose what benefits the other person. When it comes to choices only concerning me, I usually choose what would effect me more long-term. "Will this opportunity ever come again? Will I regret it if I don't do this? What do you want? What do you want? Do it, do it, do it. Done."
I never really seek advice. Asking for advice is usually for the aftermath of choices. "Was I right? Was I being immature? Should I have done it differently?" But, usually I consider people completely skewed on their answers when they're giving me advice. Every situation and individual is different, therefore I prefer to just rely on myself. Then again, that's how it's always been. I've always tried to just rely on myself because that's how my parents brought me up to be. It hasn't proved very successful, but it's almost engraved in my brain now.
Brynne- "I wouldn’t say I am fearless or gutsy, I just guess I sometimes love living spontaneously." That's exactly what I thought about when I wrote my blog except I didn't word it the way I wanted to. I don't think living spontaneously is bad at all.. it makes everything more fun and dramatic, although sometimes its dramatic in a negative way. But even with that life becomes more interesting. I think this is the best way to live since nothing is ever the same and life doesn't seem so boring.
ReplyDeleteAlex N- I feel like everyone is hating on change so much but I don't understand why! The way everyone is describing their lives just seems so boring to me, maybe it's just the way I am or something, but don't you ever feel that doing the same exact thing all of the time is no fun? Don't you ever just want to go to a different place for a day, meet new people, start a new reputation.. anything like that?
ReplyDeleteP.S. When you wrote "I like my bubble" I laughed because I just pictured you saying that and it sounded just like you.
Alex N. -
ReplyDeleteI personally think you'll be absolutely fine in college. You seem to hold your own and you are very self-sufficient which is more than I can say about a lot of people in Oakcrest. Though, from being around you, I can understand where your "bubble" comes from. You're very organized, very "OCD", so it's completely understandable that you like to know where you're going and what's going to happen. But, you'll be fine. Just as long as you do your research about college and you stick by someone that you definitely know from Oakcrest that's going to the same college as you, you'll be okay. :)
PART: ONE
ReplyDeleteWell I consider myself at times brave, and courage is my middle name. Change is a piece of cake!
.....Wait what? I have to move where? Nooooooo.... What am I to do?! What kind of humans live in sunny Mays Landing/ Mullica? This is scary!!!!!! I DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE MY SCHOOL OR MEET NEW PEOPLE!
Yup, it's all talk.
If I were changing as a person, then bring it on! I would only want positive growth from here on till the day I die. Why? I think the only way any human can actually learn is through change, to realize and comprehend more and open your mind to more choices or views that will leave you thinking about your own.
But then again there is the other change, the change of surroundings that I'm not so happy to jump at. I like trying new things, seeing new places. Do I like uprooting my whole life to see new things? Nope. I like the idea of a "home." One home, not five different houses that people name that they lived in. Growing up I had two homes, Alexandria, Egypt and Ventnor, New Jersey. When we moved out here, I did not consider this home, it's just a house. That change I did not like. It's uprooting me from my comfort zone of familiar people I grew up with and seen me grow up. My turf that I welcomed new people and showed them around, now I'm getting shown around. What's going on? I used to be on top of the world! (Just a part of Ac high actually) but now I'm at the bottom....because of change. Though this might all seem negative I still thing no matter how bad or how much I dislike a change there is something in the back that's positive, for example I'm learning in my opinion far more things and having better relationship and confidence practices here :).
I do yearn change though but after college. I want to move somewhere different yet with people I can familiarize myself with easily. I want a better life, I don't mind difficult times as long as it's worth the time being with whoever, or doing what I love but mentally better. I want to try to get common people more open minded and aware of their surroundings. I want a fair and balanced relationship between the AP child with the CP child, a rich child with a poor child, maybe just any two different types of people. I believe that could be accomplished through writing and spreading the word about tolerance, not just races and cultures, but social classes and everything else. Kind of ironic I'm not all that welcoming on change on the home front but I want to change others in a better way?
PART: TWO
ReplyDeleteIn that case I don't mind change, but what's scary about change is that it's in the future which is unpredictable. It's the unknown and uncontrolled. I don't like the fact that I do not have a grasp on the situation. It's frustrating. That this "change" is supposed to just take over and lead to a dark way which I have never been down and I have no map to lead me. I don't want to have to ever think back and say wow I wish that never happened or if that change or choice never took place I wouldn't be here today all miserable. I don't want to lose people I love or feel the need to be there in my life. I don't want change to throw me so far of shore that I lose who I am. Change can hurt, or give others the power to hurt you at your vulnerable point that you are still getting accustomed to change. Giving people that power is a big NO! for me. I simply can't have anyone have that opportunity or even try to be put in that situation.
So change's dance partner? Choice. I used to be really bad with those. Sometimes I still am. You know those people who act or speak before they think.... HIIIII :) Yup that's me. I'm not oblivious to what I do. I actually do that because if I think about it, I over think, sometimes I tend to over think myself into a corner. I'm one of those people that go with the gut feeling, or what my heart leans towards. I might not always get a good outcome but it feels better if I did it because that's how I felt about the situation at the time. When it comes to doing something that I shouldn't be doing, like at a place or time where I know from the beginning I shouldn't be, that's when the hardcore thinking comes in, just so I don't get in trouble. I used to do things that I don't think are right, but at the moment I would be like what the hell?! LETS GO! Well, I'm not like that anymore and I barely was, but the rare moments I was aren't that great and it's basically not where my heart was. Now and hopefully onto my future I will only act on what I truly feel is right. Even if it gets me in trouble or ridiculed. For example being a junior everyone is already thinking and formulating about colleges. I'm not, simply because I already have a plan. It's called ACCC for two years and then a NJ college for the other two. Ha freaking ha. I know and I hear how people look down on that choice of mine or make fun of it. What they don't get is my situation or what I feel towards it. Therefore that choice I understand what I will get out of it and at the time and place it's the one I feel is right, and no matter how many students, and or teachers put it down I still wont care and dont't feel the need for advice on it. I already weighed out most possibilities. Where is the advice I seek is and where I seek it from is always depending on the situation. When I feel lost or not knowledgeable enough to decide. Hey we are still growing, we don't know everything, and we do need some direction. For example classes to pick, I'll ask each teacher that specializes in that subject. If I was wondering about if I should write or sign up or what to do in the future that I hope would involve that or conversations about society then I went to Bunje. I won't go to Bunje for something that I think or don't feel comfortable asking her advice on. Same with my mom, I'll tell her a scenario, and ask her opinion and even so doesn't mean I'll follow it. Sometimes I'll take advice from many people at the same time and weigh it out to see who had the best reasoning. At the end of the day no one knows me better then me, so even if everyone is telling me to do one thing but my heart is not committed then I simply can't do it.
Brynne -
ReplyDelete"Change never scares me, because I don’t really attach to anybody, nothing holds me back, and what I always know is that you somehow will always find your way."
I agree with the statement that things will always work out somehow in the end. No matter what kind of change happens, it'll either resolve itself or it will become a routine and it won't be as bad. But, it kind of interests me that you say that you never really attach to anyone. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. In my perspective it isn't, because connections are everything to me, but for you it might just be a normal thing. Hmm. Hah interesting.
Taylor -
ReplyDelete"...I have no idea what I want to do with my life... I’m about to shovel thousands of dollars into a future..."
Wow I didn't even think about this. Hah good point. I as well, don't know what I want to do with my life, but instead of throwing around a bunch of options, I'm stuck between two completely different routes that represents two very big portions of my soul. But, I'm not as scared as I thought I would be. Well, at least not now, there's a good chance I will be later, but the way I see it is that even if I did know, there's no guarantee that plan's going to stick. Taking that risk with throwing money into college is pretty much inevitable. There's no guarantee. But, I believe that all the AP kids are going to get by fine.
I want change and I want it NOW! I am a little insignificant embryo trapped within the confines of a miniature egg. I am pushing for a change, the entrance into a new world, but time can only tell when the change I'm looking for will come. But a year and three months, I will finally break my shell and embrace the change I've been waiting for since the beginning of time (my high school time).
ReplyDeleteWhen I see change, I do not fear it; I embrace it. If change was a huge bag of candy, I would devour it in seconds; if change was the sun, I'd be burnt to a crisp trying to absorb it. If I could, I would bathe in change! However, I know that change is scarce. Opportunities for change are scarce. But I always view them as something as sacred as life itself. Change is a beacon of hope, a tunnel of excitement; change is...just AMAZING.
The biggest reason why I'm so adamant in my love for change is because it stems from a hate of the present. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't HATE my life right now, I'm dissatisfied with it. I am dissatisfied by who I am to other people and most importantly, who I am to myself. I am dissatisfied with where I am, the people I am around, and lack of excitement and adventure for (not "a person like me") the person me see me as (which is completely different). There are few things that make me utterly sick to my stomach: everything surrounded by the word "Asian" (like being called "Asian," being grouped into "Asians," big-eyed-cuteness, pokemon, etc.), people who are anti-gay and make jokes about that, and monotony. And it's not just the monotony of seeing UGGs and side-bangs everywhere I turn. I was raised in a pool of monotony. My family-life is the epitome of monotony. Everyday, I can literally recite the same words my parents say day after day. For instance, at precisely 6 o'clock on all days except Tuesday and Thursday, I am guaranteed to hear an irritating, high pitched "Shirley!! Eat!" coupled with a approximately 4 minute speech about how my mom always has to call me to eat, a barrage of "STACEY!...SHIRLEY TOOK ALL YOUR FOOD!...I'M FULL!...THERE'S NO MORE FOOD!" to entice my little sister to come to the dinner table, and (of course) the same chicken and rice I've seen since the day I was born. At precisely 9:30, I must stop my homework the moment my father comes home bellowing "STACEY! I WIN!" because I'm doomed to hearing tons of racket outside my room for the next half hour. It's like replaying the same videotape over and over and over again.
This is why the moment high school ends, things are going to change--drastically. Once I ship myself off the college of my choice (located at least 3 hours away), I never want to set foot back in dreary Mays Landing again. I plan on cutting most, if not all, ties with everyone from Oakcrest and starting completely fresh. If I could financially afford it, which I can't, I would replace every belonging I own. Frankly, I cannot relate to the ‘fear’ of never seeing the same people I’ve known for 17 years. To me, it's a near blessing. Not that I don't like people here, I don't like the past misconceptions everyone has engrained into me. In college, I am going to be a dramatically different person--the person I'm destined to be and have hidden from the world for so long. Don't be surprised when I turn out to be the polar opposite person I was in high school after one year at the U, if we ever cross paths in the first place. I will never come back to this life.
Now while I welcome change with wide open arms, I practically repel choice. And this is one of the things I hope to change when I enter college. Indecisiveness is one of my two biggest weaknesses. Mostly it stems from my lack of faith in my own judgment. But a small part of it comes from my superstitious side that believes if I think presumptuously, I will surely fail. Either way, I spend hours to days agonizing over every minor choice I must make. I rarely, if ever, seek advice from anybody other than good ‘ol Shirley Ngo and we both pull our hair out deciding the right path. After I make that choice, I spent even more time agonizing over whether I made the right choice. "Should I reverse it?!" This flaw is all too unfortunate. It causes me to doubt myself and thus I feel as if I never fully carry my choices through. I lose passion, hope, and progress. The outcome often turns out to be a watered-down version of what it would have been if I finished with confidence. One of my goals in life is to rid indecisively from my system forever. I want to be spontaneous.
ReplyDeleteAlexis---
ReplyDelete“But, usually I consider people completely skewed on their answers when they're giving me advice.” This is exactly why I hate asking people for advice. Therefore I never do. Most of the time, I never want to, or it would go horribly wrong if, I told the other person the entire story. On top of that, whenever I speak to someone, they are compelled to answer in a certain way. Sometimes the problem ends up being solved by just speaking about it. So I, personally don’t value other people’s opinion as much as I should. But I think because you seek other people’s advice afterwards, you should, at least sometimes, seek their advice before.
Brynne---
“While others cry because they have to start applying and looking for colleges, I smile and with wide-eyes thrilled with life outside of Oakcrest”... “what I always know is that you somehow will always find your way.”
I don’t think most people cry about college because they fear change. I think people are worried about college applications because they fear rejection. They freak out over whether or not they will get accepted to their first choice and it scares them, well I know it does for me, to try to convey your entire life story in a simple application that will decide your future.
Also, I completely agree with you when you say people always find a way. Things always tend to work itself out in time. I’ve seen this for myself whenever I lose something. I always find it…eventually. I lost my glasses for over a year and a half and one day, my Economics teacher handed it to me. I think all aspects of life can be applied with that same crazy scenario. Like that cliché reads, “Everything happens for a reason,”
Taylor---
“you know as long as that road doesn’t lead to change, at which point it’s a dirt path shaded with creepy trees, lightning bolts and completed with eerie, suspenseful music.” Whoa. Our images of change are always exact opposites. I imagine, if I were to stay in the same forestry scene, flowery trees opening up to reveal a blissful light that warms my face and heart. Then a sweet little bird tweet by and the sky makes that angelic “HALLELUJAH!” sound. And then I hug myself and smile =). Don’t worry too much over change! Like Brynne’s blog mentioned, you’ll find your way.
Hannah:
ReplyDeleteI like how you pointed out that just because you are looking forward to change, it doesn't maen that you don't like the current state of things. I've gotten in a few mini-arguments with my mom about college. I absolutely love Boston, Massachusetts, so my top schools are Harvard and Boston University. That's a five to six hour drive depending on the day, so it's not like I'd be able to meet up with my family for dinner (granted I even get accepted to either). My mom makes occasional comments about how far away I'll be and how big the city is and how I must not like my life now. I wish I could communicate to her that I want to leave not because I don't like my life now (i love it), but because I would love my life just as much there- it'd just be new.
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ReplyDeleteShirley:
ReplyDeleteI find that the people I most look up to describe themselves as dissatisfied. They are the people who are always looking forward, driving forward, fighting forward. They want what they want and once they get it, they push for better. Dissatisfied people are often the most persistent and the most successful because they have so many things they want to do. They are the most driven and competitive. I wish I could say I know you more than I do, but you seem very driven and I definitely remember some deep competitiveness from our Davies red team lunch days. I think your dissatisfaction will certainly take you far in life.
I don't really advertise this, but I tell fortunes (way to diss fortune tellers at the beginning of the year Ms. Bunje xD). Out of every method at my disposal, I prefer using Tarot cards, a 74-card deck with four minor Arcana (suits) and a Major Arcana. The word 'Tarot' means 'cycle' - change, in effect. The deck is dedicated to being able to read change based on patterns in the past and present. I do have the capacity to tell the future, then, but that is not where my comfort with change comes from. It comes in part from my innate ability to go with the flow, and from my philosophy.
ReplyDeleteThe thirteenth card of the Major Arcana is Death, and symbolizes a change brought about by an ending; it exemplifies the idea of cycles. Every end is a new beginning. Sometimes an ending is just a change of path. Death has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, in many forms, and so has unexpected and often painful change. I am not afraid of change because change is natural: change is right. Besides, I'm used to change. I don't need to whip out the deck to see what's coming, because it doesn't matter. Either way, the future is coming. There is no need for fear, and I have never been fearful. Wherever I am, I feel as "at home" as is possible for me - I find no comfort in familiarity, no malice in the unknown. Whatever I do, I feel confident that success and failure are both a way to go - there are no accidents.
Any way I go, my choice is the right one, just to a different end. If I don't like where I am, I can always go somewhere else (because change is my friend (>^.^)>). The way I see it, I can't go wrong, and I welcome change.
Alexis:
ReplyDeleteMy post is still in the making, but I find it interesting that you said that you can be impulsive, but when you think something out, it's usually the same decision you would have reached had you simply acted. I wrote something very similar. Basically, I take forever to do anything, but my decision is always the same as the first I came to, the one that just popped in my head because it "felt right."
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ReplyDeleteWhen it comes down to it, there is one main cause for my NEED for change. Boredom. I absolutely hate being bored. Reading, writing, moving, talking, learning, I always have to be doing something. But it doesn’t end there. I can’t just go every single day doing the same old thing. Simply going through the motions is definitely not my idea of an exciting day. Supplementing my schedule with harder classes, Class of 2011, band, stylus, and the one acts plays has given me an outlet to spice up my day. Sometimes though, it just isn’t enough.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely a city girl. I think that plays a huge part in my need for change. Even though I only grew up there for 11 years, and I’ve spent most of my adolescence in New Jersey, I know I belong in the city. I love the feeling of having so many things going on around me. I feed off of the energy of the hundreds of thousands of people who are hustling and bustling around all day and all night. There is just something so…..un-special about Mays Landing. I love the people I’ve met and the things that I have accomplished, but there is just no possible way I see myself thriving here for the rest of my life.
The biggest change that all of us are facing in the next year is, obviously, the plans for our future. For most of us, that future includes college. My goal is to move out of New Jersey and attend a school in one of the big cities on the East Coast. As of now, I’m not exactly sure what city that will be. Philadelphia, Chicago, Columbus, New York City, who knows. I want to go to one of these schools and not only find my calling and my career, but also myself. Even though I am excited for this change, in no way am I fearless. I know there will be challenges, as there are in everything, but I will try and overcome them as best I can so I can experience all of the other changes life has to offer.
Decisions, decisions, decisions. When it comes to making them, it always depends. If my decision is going to directly affect someone else, I weigh all the options to make sure the outcome is the best for me and whoever else is involved. When it comes to personnel decisions though, I usually disregard the ‘No Swimming’ sign and deal with the consequences later. I’m not trying to say that I break all the rules without a care for what will happen, but even when it’s obvious that my decision might hurt me, I usually just go with my gut and whatever happens, happens.
When I am confronted with a truly hard decision to make, the two people I can ALWAYS count on to help me are my parents. They may be totally different in their opinions on things, (my dad is much more facts and figures logical, where my mom tries to see things from different (sometimes strange…) perspectives.) but after every decision counseling session with them, I am always much more prepared to make the best choice possible for myself and those around me.
Brynne,
ReplyDelete“What’s life without change? It’s what gives lives zest, excitement and always keeps our lives eventful. Change can be ordering something new on the menu , to move to another state. Change is exciting , upsetting, ugly, pretty, etc. Personally, I love change, I hate the same scenery, running trail and same fashion trends.”
I absolutely envy your view on change, I wish I saw it like that. I mean you’re right, change can be as small as ordering something new on the menu, but I just so happened to get really upset when Chili’s took the only thing I ever got off of it. Every change I’ve ever really seen has been negative. I’ve seen people change in my eyes (Although, I don’t like to call it change, people are always who they are, they just suppress habits or lose themselves), I’ve changed schools for the worst, and I’ve changed things as minor as hair for the worst. I mean change big and small, I’ve never seen as positive unless it’s changed back. Hopefully someday I’ll have an opinion more like you though.
Banana,
“Life would be so boring if it was all the same- I'd wake up every day, eat Lucky Charms for breakfast, go to school, play soccer, do homework, sleep, and repeat.”
Touching on this and responding to your comment, it’s not boring. You know me, I don’t know about you, but boring isn’t the first word I think of when trying to describe myself. I just like being comfortable and knowing generally what’s to come. I may keep my situation routined, but I make it exciting. A basic format for the day can always make room for some fun. Say, leaving school to go to Starbucks during study hall or making some absurd mission, that’s not change, but it’s also far from boring.
Robby,
“Whatever I do, I feel confident that success and failure are both a way to go - there are no accidents. Any way I go, my choice is the right one, just to a different end. If I don't like where I am, I can always go somewhere else (because change is my friend (>^.^)>). The way I see it, I can't go wrong, and I welcome change.”
You’ve got a great attitude towards this, I mean believing there is light at the end of every decision tunnel, is not a bad way to live life. But I know plenty of choices that can end badly and ones that really see no light. Say drugs for example, a change to a lifestyle of cocaine, it’s a choice, but it’s very much so the wrong one. And I can say that 100%, considering I flew out to California over the summer to attend my aunt’s funeral because she made that very choice/change. Maybe you’re making better choices, but there are definitely ones that have disastrous ends.
I’m one of those souls who are welcoming change – sort of begging for it actually – as I’ve thought more and more about college. I admit to holding a fear towards change for a while, but now, as I said, I’m begging for it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and my family, but there’s something appealing about change. The most special feature that change holds over my home area is the idea that I’ll be happy. A lot of people know the continuous returning jerk in my life that I seem to not be able to get away from. Again, don’t get me wrong, he’ll always have a spot in my heart, but I admire his ability to just leave and shun himself from here and the idea of me. However, I’m surrounded by reminiscing factors of him and I am basically counting down until change, until my happiness, until my separation and until my ability to have new surroundings. I want to go to college in California – I know it’s far but it’s my dream – and I feel like that change will bring me what I’ve been missing thus far. This change will make my future better, and, relating to our previous blog, I’ll be more intelligent than if I shelter myself from change. It’s truly time for a change.
ReplyDeleteChoices that are as inconsequential as chicken patty or PB&J I leave the decision making up to myself. On a daily basis, I do consider my options and weigh the consequences before finally choosing but that process is only done if I have time, you know?
What TV show to watch? Easy. Who to hang out with? Medium. What to do? Hard. What college to go to? Extremely difficult. Easy – quick decisions on my own. Medium – a little more thought but still on my own. Hard – debating with others on what I should do because maybe my opinion is a little shaky. Extremely hard – talk it over in my head millions and weigh the choices with my one and only.. broski.
When I have difficulty making my own decisions, I rely on my best friends of course. Kelsey, Kaitlin, Lauren, Maegan, Kristen and many more. I do so because my decisions don’t only affect me but they affect them and I feel it necessary to consult with my friends. When I’m talking serious, serious, serious, serious, serious, SERIOUS things, I make it a point to ask my broski – a.k.a. my sister, Ashley – for advice. I rely on her mostly because not only do my decisions affect her, but I don’t want her to look down on me for doing anything wrong. For anyone that doesn’t know her, she’s like my other half. We’re always together, we’re always laughing and we even fist fight in public before falling into tears from laughing to hard. I hate the fact that she’s going to college next year and I feel like I’m losing her, and I guess always relying on her makes me feel like I’ll never lose her. After all, I don’t want to.
P.S. VOTE FOR ME FOR YOUR VICE PRESIDENT FRIDAY IN HOMEROOM! <3 :)
ReplyDelete(PART 1)
ReplyDeleteMy ongoing relationship with change is one of indecisiveness. On one end, change is happily holding my hand, and both of us are jubilantly skipping on the yellow brick road towards the future. I’m tired of Kansas; I want a fresh and exciting new world full of strange sights. Yet, on the other end, change is one of those creepy monkeys whom are chasing me as I fearfully run away. I’m afraid of what’s behind the curtain. I’m afraid of what’s at the end of the road. I need to see what’s ahead of me before I arrive at my destination. But no matter how much I hesitate, change is coming to get me, so I might as well get accustomed to the idea.
I’m awfully curious to see how my life will unfold. Let’s face it: I have big dreams. I have dreams that are almost impossible to accomplish and standards that have probably been set a bit too high. I’m not discouraged. I only have one life to live, so it’s mine to screw up. Just the thought of transforming from a suburban girl to a Hollywood actress lifts my heart into cloud nine. I’m sick and tired of this continuous routine of being the suburban South Jersey girl; the girl who never had a boyfriend, the girl who sings in front of the mirror, and the girl who dreams but never takes action. It becomes boring after a while. My eyes long refreshment. Thus, change is what I need. Finally taking action and finally seeing this change will allow me to become one step closer to finally knowing what I want to do with my life. It’s like a puzzle: the more pieces added to the puzzle, the more you see the whole picture. Change, no doubt, is a scary thought. I even told my friends that I wish to be “seventeen forever.” But, it’s going to happen. I’m more scared of not knowing my future. And as these changes start occurring, I’ll be more informed of my career path. The only prospect of change that sends a chill down my spine is simply the unfamiliarity. Stepping out of my comfort zone is like stepping out of a hot shower on a cold day: your instinct is to immediately jump back into the hot shower to avoid that cold and uncomfortable air. But, you can’t stay in a shower forever. Otherwise, you’ll become a prune. Prunes are boring. And gross, for that matter.
(PART 2)
ReplyDeleteAs much as I’ll miss the good ol’ Oak, I’m extremely excited for college. I’m even more excited to jumpstart my ambitions. Even if it doesn’t work out as planned, at least I followed my childhood dreams and attempted to take action. If change works in my favor, then maybe I will come out on top.
I can deal with change, but I’m not quite sure about choice. I run away from choice. When I’m given option A or option B, I side with Switzerland. Once confronted with a choice, I hesitate, not sure what to choose. I then over analyze the situation, go with my gut instinct, and then go with the other option instead. Take, for example, the multiple choice quizzes for Lang. You could say I’m a bit overwhelmed when it comes to choosing between five letters. I’m not concluding that they are hard; it’s just that I always convince myself that the choices I make are wrong. I’ll go with my gut and choose C, and, after contemplating for a bit, erase the answer and circle D. This is partially because of my lack of self-confidence. What I choose for myself is what will affect me thereon. I personally don’t think I’m the best decision maker, and thus I am always terrified of choice. Because what if I’m wrong? One of my creeds with living without regrets. Of course, I won’t regret my decision, but I’ll sure as hell feel bad. Usually my decision is chosen with the heart. But, with my lack of confidence, I follow my mind rather than my haert, which is a risk in itself. I feel as though I need to start following my heart more. I also feel as though I need to start relying on myself. I rely on both my mind and my surroundings. I’ll ask peers, teachers, and anyone whom I fully trust, “What should I choose?” “Where should I go?” and “What should I do with my life?”. Why? This is because I’m extremely indecisive and scared for what lies ahead. I’d rather someone choose for me, so that when the time comes, I don’t have to blame myself. That sounds awfully selfish, but when I blame myself, I really punish myself brutally. I don’t need any more damage to my self-esteem. It’s already crumbled.
One of the most terrifying choices swirling through my mind is the choice of college: where to go, what the major in, and what to do with my life. I’d rather jump off a bridge than decide on a college. Yes, I am the change I want to be, and that means I have to make the right decisions in order to receive a satisfying change. I just want to be Switzerland and eat chocolate and never have to make a crucial decision. However, decisions are apart of life, growing up, and all that deals with responsibility.
I want to share a quote that basically merges my relationship with change and choice respectively.
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” – Karen Klaiser Clark
Change is inevitable, and just another block on that yellowbrick road. Choice is merely which path you take. For me, I’m strolling down my yellowbrick road, and am currently at a crossroads. I’m not sure what my choice will be, but once I decide, I’m not looking back.
Most of the time, I welcome change with open arms. But I have to admit that I do have moments where the prospect of change scares the living daylights out of me.
ReplyDeleteI’m not the type of person who likes to stay still. I mean, being surrounded by comfort is a great feeling, but I tend to get bored very easily. I like being kept on my toes, I like being surprised, I like being shocked. I don’t need for anything drastic to happen; even the small day to day changes are enough to keep me content. I just can’t go for long periods of time following a routine. Routine makes me feel as if I’m standing still. And standing still isn’t my thing. I like to keep moving. Movement for me equals progression and growth. Staying still and following the same schedule day in and day out would in no way help me to improve in the areas that I am lacking in. I need to be challenged; placed in various situations and put up against circumstances that I wouldn’t deal with regularly. No matter the change, the feeling of excitement and curiosity always emerges, and it’s a feeling that I’m oddly addicted to.
Now, on the opposite side of that, any indication of a drastic change practically places me in a complete frenzy. The more I think about it, I realize that I only tend to accept certain types of change. If its change that will benefit me, or teach me a lesson that will serve to assist me in the future, then I’m all for it. But if it’s a type of change that doesn’t seem to have any perks to it, I don’t even want to welcome the very thought of it. But then again, it makes sense that most individuals would feel the same way. Uncertainty breeds a sense of insecurity, and I would not want to be in state of self-doubt especially if my surrounds were changing faster than I could possibly keep up with.
Choices, however, are totally different. My parents have always taught me to slow down, weigh my options, and then make a choice that would make the most sense. I’m sorry to say that this process doesn’t happen very often. My mouth moves way faster than my mind does, and I usually find myself saying things or making decisions that most likely required way more thought than I gave them. Fortunately, I’m usually able to fix these mistakes, but I realize that if I don’t stop that habit now, I could agree to something that would put me in some serious danger. But whenever I do decide to slow down and actually think about what I’m doing, I tend to get very indecisive. I over think wayyyy to much, [ it’s a curse more than a blessing ] and whenever I do that, the decisions that I conclude with usually leave me with a twinge of regret. Sometimes I’ll talk myself out of going somewhere, or taking a chance at doing something new, and about two seconds after I decided to take that path, I want to turn right around and change my answer, which isn’t always possible.
I try not to be impulsive with my actions, but I realize that I tend to make more decisions that ‘feel right’ to me rather than make the most sense. In some cases, it turns out to be the right thing to do, but in others, more thought, and perhaps more time would’ve done me way more good than bad.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan of this blog question at all. I don’t think there’s a point in identifying whether one looks forward to change or not, because either way change happens. That’s called life. The only thing, then, that makes a difference is how you cope with change and whether you make the transition smoother or rougher. Whether you like it or not is irrelevant. I guess you can say I am thus indifferent to change. When it happens, I adapt, and push forward. When change comes around again, I repeat the process. Since everything’s constantly changing anyway, change seems predictable to me. So, again, I have no preference towards the normal, predictable inherent changing-factor of life because a preference doesn’t help me get through it any easier.
ReplyDeleteChoice, for me, is pretty straightforward too. I do what feels right -- not what feels good, but what feels like the right, the moral thing to do. I choose the path that makes me feel like a better soul. I am like Thomas Jefferson: I see the world, recognize the shades of gray, and arrange them into a strict dichotomy. In other words, I work best when there’s a clear opposition, when its ‘good’ vs. ‘evil.’ Then, of course, I align myself with good and fight on! If follows then that I hardly ask anyone for advice. If you’re reading this right now and shaking your head because you remember an instance in which I asked you for advice, then know I probably didn’t genuinely want to know what you thought. That’s not to be taken offensively; usually, I know from the start what I’m going to do and just want validation. It’s similar to when you ask a friend which color dress she likes. In your mind, you already know you like the blue one better -- you just want her to agree.
Clearly, I’m not a logical person: I base virtually everything in my life off of quixotic principles and abstract heroics. Consequently, I rarely compare options when making a choice. For me, there’s only ever one choice -- the one that I believe in right. I’m talking about the grand scheme of life, so obviously this irrational thought doesn’t apply to little choices like whether to where my brown or silver flip-flops. I don’t think inconsequential choices like that are worth much, so I won’t comment on how I make those choices.
I apologize if this blog sounds bitter. Today was lugubrious in more ways than one, and I’m having a little emotional difficulty in dealing with it. Its just takes a little longer to adapt when the rug is suddenly pulled from under you.
Shirley!
ReplyDelete'When I see change, I do not fear it; I embrace it.When I see change, I do not fear it; I embrace it...Change is a beacon of hope, a tunnel of excitement; change is...just AMAZING.'
Uhh, if change was a big bag of candy, I think EVERYONE would eat it, silly.
Hah, but I completely agree. Change and I are usually on really good terms, and every single time changes has decided to come my way, it's brought with it the opportunity to better myself. I see no point in running from it, because in the long run, even the worst changes have something to teach us.
Brynne!
'Maybe because I believe my future holds more out in the real world then it ever did in Mays Landing.'
Not that I have anything against Mays Landing, but I feel as if there is definitely more waiting for me out there. I can't wait for college, and now that its so close in my future, I'm practically shaking with excitement. I know the thought of starting over again terrifies a lot of my classmates, but I love the idea of having to start over again where no one knows who you are. Last year, Costal suggested to my class that we go to a college where everyone knows nothing about you. He said that with this opportunity, you could become someone new, make new friends, and start a new life in a sense. I know that I'm going to miss all of my friends terribly, but if I'm given the chance to introduce myself to a whole new group of people I'd never thought I would meet, you'd better believe that I'd take up that offer without a second thought.
Shirley N: I wouldn’t suffer if I never saw you again after high school, but either way, it’s good to know you’re striving to become a better person after high school. Although you often come off as unsympathetic, cold, and cutthroat, I really do believe there’s a side of you that, as you said, is the exact opposite. I see it when you suddenly let out a small, humorous comment or do something silly (like watch Ice Age 2 with me). So, I’m definitely excited for you and hope you become everything you want to be.
ReplyDeleteTaylor: I love the simile: “I’m about to shovel thousands of dollars into a future that’s as fuzzy as giving the middle finger on television.” Your writing style always makes me smile. Your description of your four walls I thought was very charming, too. Your voice is instantly recognizable, as well. Nonetheless, I think you underestimate yourself. You will probably champion change and make college your own. I don’t doubt you can make the best out of every situation.
Robby: I thought it was very interesting that we both came to the same conclusion that change doesn’t matter because it’s going to happen anyway. It goes without saying then that I agree with you. You always write very methodically so there’s really no room to attack your logic. The introduction with the Tarot cards seemed very appropriate, too.
Alex N.
ReplyDelete'Will I be able to handle whatever my new college throws at me? I fear not. '
Alex, you'll do absolutely fine in college! I don't think that any of us should worry about so much. I truly think that after all our preparation [especially after this year] we all will be able to handle what college throws at us. Obviously we can do the work, and I'm more that positive that we've all learned how to handle our stress and time more effectively. Perhaps I'm just being optimistic, but even so, I know that we'll be able to handle that change just fine. We just have to take it one step at a time.
p.s..am I the only one who thought of 'Ch-ch-ch-Chia!' when I read the title? You know...like Chia Pets? xD
When I was younger, I could not wrap my mind around the concept of farsightedness. I failed to understand how a person could read the words on a sign one hundred yards ahead but could not see decipher the words of a worksheet on his desk. I still find farsightedness odd and I have always had 20/20 vision, but I certainly am farsighted in terms of decision-making.
ReplyDeleteRecently, I opted to switch soccer teams. Nasty politics resulted in my coach (the best coach I have ever had) losing his license for one of the two major associations under which we play. Consequently, a new coach took over, and he does not value goalkeeper training at all. At practice, he told me not to leave my line in order to avoid injury of the field players. Since I was essentially standing in one spot for a large portion of practice, I sought outside training. As we had practice every night and at least one game every Saturday and Sunday, I asked my new coach if I could miss practice once a week, or even once every other week, to see a goalkeeper trainer. Rather than encourage me, he took offense to me asking to work with someone different (even though he had previously stated that he was unqualified to train goalkeepers) and told me that I absolutely could not miss practice. Even though I was playing for the top team in New Jersey and the sixth team in Region I, which stretches for Virginia to Maine, and I absolutely loved my teammates, I ended up leaving my team for a lower-ranked one.
Not all change is growth, but any situation can facilitate growth. I realized this when I used my farsightedness to focus on the long term benefits of leaving my team. Not only do I get a dose of in-practice, keeper-specific training, but I also have the flexibility of schedule to train separately once or twice a week. I have improved quite a bit in the past month and am now looking to get back into higher-level game play. Based on my position on my old team and my recent improvement, I feel that I cold play for a team better than the team I recently left. If I didn’t possess the trait of farsightedness, I would have stayed on my old team or perhaps taken a different route, and I likely would not have improved as I have.
The decision-making model I followed when I chose to leave my team was basically a point system and is the same I follow when I make just about any decision. I usually decide that I need a change by the “feels right” rubric. It’s pretty complicated, so brace yourself: If something feels right, add a point to its column, and if something doesn’t feel right, don’t add a point, and if something feels really, really right, add about ten points. If there are any draws, award a point to whatever option feels most right. This is all a quick mental process, by the way.
Usually, my instinctual decision is consistent with my thought-out decision, but I would not know that if I didn’t brood over decisions for eons. I actually write out a list of pros and cons for each conceivable choice, trying to think of the consequences of the consequences of the consequences of the consequences. I review this list and make my decision based on it.
The lengthiness of my decision-making process would seem to suggest that I am resistant to change, but I actually feel quite the opposite. In seventh-grade biology, we learned that one of the characteristics of life is growth and change. If something does not grow or change form, it is not alive. I don’t know about you, but I like to be alive. I like to experience new things. I like a good challenge and I like a deviation from the norm. As I said above, any situation can facilitate change. The catch (there’s always a catch, isn’t there?) is that a situation can only facilitate so much change. In order to stimulate new change, I need to make a new situation.
Basically, I’m all up for change, but I need to improve upon the speed of my decision-making.
My feelings towards change have gone back and forth for the longest time now. It’s like that person that you can’t live with but at the same time you can’t live without them. Back in eighth grade I dreaded change. I dreaded being away from my friends that I had come to know as family. I dreaded leaving the schoolhouse that I had grown up in. I dreaded moving from a close-knit school to a school that I considered to be much bigger. The keyword in all of this: dread. That was exactly how I felt about change. Even after making friends in high school I was still afraid of change. I hated being pushed out of my comfort zone so much. But of course as time moved forward I changed myself. My old relationship with change became a thing of the past as I moved into my junior year. This year I began craving change. I want something new in my life, I want to travel and meet new people. This entire year has been about change and the hope that it could possibly come around sooner rather than later. At the same time it still scares me though. I’m afraid of the change into college but this is mainly because my future is still undecided. I would give anything for more time to figure things out so the fact that change is coming quickly in this form scares me so much. And while I hate being pushed out of my comfort zone it is a much needed push. Change makes life interesting and the life I live would not be the same without it. I just try to embrace the changes that are thrown my way and hope for the best even when things turn out absolutely wrong. Now when making a choice I do think about it and weigh my options for a moment but then I usually ignore them anyway and go with my instinct. I tend to over think certain things depending on the situation but it seems like I always end up with the decision that I started with. So I guess you could say I follow my instinct and hope for the best. I think that I can learn from any major decision in my life no matter which path I choose. And as far as the small decisions I don’t usually think about them too much if they are not really going to have an impact on anything. There are a couple of close friends I go to for advice if I really need help making a choice. I listen to them and take their advice into consideration but in the end I usually follow my own feelings whether it coincides with their advice or not. It’s not that I’m ignoring what they have to say; I like to hear what they have to say because they see the situation from a different viewpoint so they can point out aspects that I may have missed. I try to see things from different views but my gut feeling is usually enough to pull me in the opposite direction if it is strong enough. I just like to follow my instincts whether it’s right or wrong.
ReplyDeleteTaylor—“ I’m about to shovel thousands of dollars into a future that’s as fuzzy as giving the middle finger on television. That scares me.”
ReplyDeleteI feel the exact same way! At the moment my future is my biggest fear because I have no clue where it’s going. Life is moving forward while I’m tripping and falling behind at every moment. I don’t really know what I want to do or where I want to go. I’m working on figuring that out but at the moment not knowing scares me more than any kind of change I’m facing.
Brynne—“ I love change because I feel that even good or bad you learn more about yourself.”
I agree with this completely. I think change makes us who we are. It pushes us to discover who we’ve been, who we are, and who we ant to be. Every time I’ve faced some kind of change in my life I’ve realized something knew whether it’s the fact that I’m stronger than I think I am or just that I really like some kind of new food that I had never tried before. Whether simple or complicated, I learn something knew most of the time.
Manar—“At the end of the day no one knows me better then me, so even if everyone is telling me to do one thing but my heart is not committed then I simply can't do it.”
I’m the same way in this aspect. I always have to follow what my heart is telling me to do no matter what others think. Maybe my decisions are not always ‘right’ but for me they are even if they don’t turn out the way I had originally hoped. I think the best advice you can take sometimes is your own because of exactly what you said, no one knows you better then you. And as far as the ACCC thing, just do what you think is best for you. It doesn’t matter what others say if it’s what you want. :)
Every morning my alarm starts ringing at 5:30am. I press the snooze button once before I throw my covers off and jump into the shower. When I get out of the shower, I squeeze my hair into a Twisty Towel and put on my robe. I follow the exact same beauty and hair routines and change into the clothes I always pick out the night before. I eat breakfast within the same five minute time period everyday, which usually consists of the same food, brush my teeth immediately after, and leave my house for the bus stop at 6:48am sharp. I walk the same routes with the same people to the same classes everyday, and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. When I arrive back at my house, I wash my hands before I do anything and prepare myself for swim practice where the cycle of monotony continues. I get back to my house at quarter to ten, eat dinner, and do homework until twelve or one in the morning. On any given weeknight, I can guarantee that my schedule will not deviate far from this rough outline. Even though I’d like the think that I welcome change with open arms, that statement is completely untrue. I’m forever thinking about how different my life would be, for the better or worse, if I changed a few things, but I never trust myself to go through with such changes. When it comes to change I don’t take action because I’m afraid to step out of my comfort zone. I feel like if I disorganize my routine life something will happen that I’m not familiar with, and I won’t know what to do.
ReplyDeleteWhen faced with choices, I automatically freeze. I make a never-ending pro and con list in my head that only makes the decision harder. Making choices consumes me. When I have to choose something, it’s all I think about because I’m afraid that I will make the wrong decision. After the list is made, I play out scenarios in my head that exhibit me choosing either option. If I can picture something happening, I choose it; if not, I forget about it all together. Although this process seems cut, dry, and painless it is the opposite. It can take anywhere from two minutes to two months until I am finally happy with the decision I’ve made.
Even though I am forever asking other people what they would do if they were in my situation, I rarely take their advice. Asking for advice helps me gain many different perspectives into the decision I have to make, so I take tidbits of knowledge from everyone I talk to and use them to formulate my own plan. If I take advice from other people and make decisions based solely on their opinions, I will be living my life in their shadow. By taking all aspects of a problem into consideration, I am giving myself the best possible chance to make the right decision and come out of the situation as a better, stronger person.
Recently I’ve crumbled under the pressure and can’t seem to escape from beneath the heavy layers of my own debris. It’s a horrible feeling, one of defeat that I can’t seem to overcome, but it’s time for change. Typically, I’m the girl who needs to know. I want details revealed, I hate when I hear “don’t worry about it,” and I get frustrated when there are endless possibilities. In my head, I want there to be one answer to EVERY problem; that goes for anything in life, not just academics. Naturally, I’d be one of those people who hate change, because it’s unknown what is to come of it. You’d think so, right? To my surprise as well, that’s wrong.
ReplyDeleteI’ve always been a people person. I love meeting people that I don’t know, and I suppose this is a typical response to “do you like change?” I continue to stretch my comfort zone, kind of like an everlasting Gobstopper, but more like elastic. I’ll call it the everlasting elastic. Anyway, I can’t stand to remain the same as the world continues to revolve around me. I yearn for change, new surroundings, new people, new objectives and tasks. I yearn for change even when I’m content with the way things are. Right now, I’m far from content with the way things are. I’ve acquired “senioritis,” I suppose you could say, though I wouldn’t exactly say that’s it. I’ve lost desire for almost everything, my grades have plummeted, and it seems like my life is one big FML page. But the only way to escape my trouble is change. If nothing ever changes, there’s no point to life. Yes, change scares me at times, but ultimately, when it comes a-knockin’ at my door, I’m going to welcome it with open arms. I’m going to work with the wind as it slowly blows away the debris, and push my hardest to escape on my own.
Now of course, choice comes attached to change like conjoined twins. I hate choices. I’m one of the most indecisive people you’ll meet, even when it comes to the meaningless choices. If I can’t decide what sandwich to eat, I won’t eat a sandwich, and when I can’t decide what to watch on T.V., I’ll find something else to do. Sadly to say, I like others to make decisions for me. Of course, being an independent person, I won’t jump off a bridge when someone makes that decision. That is why in the end, I always rely solely on my own wits. However, it takes me a long time to do so. I consult different people depending on the situation at hand. Typically I ask a best friend, adults whom I respect and trust a lot, or people who have already endured through the same situation, those with experience. My guidance counselor said to me today though, “You should be a lawyer.” I responded inquisitively, “Why is that?” Her answer made me think: “You need to be convinced of things.” She’s right. A great flaw that I have is that I always have something to say in opposition to everything. I like to argue. What I do to make a choice is take the opinions and comments of the people whom I consult when faced with a decision, and I find the flaws and assets in their reasoning. Then ultimately I make the decision based solely on my own. Who else knows what I should do better than I do myself?
Jourdan: Your introduction about choice made me laugh for quite sometime. Farsightedness is indeed confusing. Well anyway, your voice was really good. I agree that change in situations facilitates growth, and that was well said. And you would be the one to write a list of pros and cons, just saying. :)
ReplyDeleteJourdan:
ReplyDeleteI really like how you compared making decisions to farsightedness. The future is probably the most important thing to keep in mind when making an important decision, and is definitely one of the reasons I also chose to switch teams almost two years ago. If you know what you want and think you know what you have to do to get there, farsightedness is a virtue. Awesome analogy and awesome blog! ☺
Chrissy:
Your blog was fantastic! When you were describing the yellow brick road, Kansas, and the flying monkeys, I felt like I was in Oz! I also loved how you tied it together in the end by mentioning the yellow brick road again. Also, I feel the exact same way that you do; I’ll roll with change, but freeze when it comes to choices. The imagery in your post was awesome, and I really enjoyed reading your blog. ☺
Alix:
I wish that I could be like you. You radiate confidence all of the time and are comfortable in doing what you want, when you want, and without caring what other people think of it. I’m so jealous! But I enjoyed reading your blog because it was down to earth, and I could picture you walking through the city, disregarding signs, and sitting at your kitchen table discussing different decisions with your parents. It’s also very selfless of you to always consider the people around you when making life-altering decisions. ☺
Taylor: I envy your metaphorical writing. Your blogs are always overflowing with your voice and are extremely well written. Anyway, let me just point out the positive. You've never been a fan of commitment as you've said before to me. But now, almost everything you do involves commitment. Commitment to Kit, commitment to your school work, commitment to drama, and everything else you do. You have embraced much more change than you think, and you're doing remarkably well, so don't be afraid. You've got this!
ReplyDeleteChrissy: Sometimes I feel like we're different variations of the same people, and I truly mean that. Everything we have ever talked about we seem to agree on. And we have the same big dreams, with higher aspirations than fathomable. I agree with your entire blog. And by the way, the Wizard of Oz will forever be one of my favorite movies. I love your extended metaphor in the first paragraph about the movie and your future.
ReplyDeleteChange is inevitable. No matter what we do to resist it, it always finds a way to wrestle us from our comfortable lives and throw us to the wolves, fostering uncertainty and doubt with every step we take. Because I realized this fairly early on, I don’t really care about change anymore. Recently, I’ve noticed that change happens every day of my life, and I almost never perceive it. I am a totally different person today than I was at the start of the school year, and I didn’t even notice until a few people mentioned how much I have changed. Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. Though change can bring tumult and can destroy people’s lives, it can also make them better people and turn them back onto the right path. Ultimately, it all depends on how change is dealt with.
ReplyDeleteBecause of the way I handle change, it almost always turns out to be a positive experience for me. Though usually nervous when confronted with an important decision, I usually make my choice fairly quickly and forget about it, confident that I made the right decision. I have always had a very clear set of principles that guide me through life, and they haven’t failed me yet, so I call upon them each time I must make a choice.
It is because of this that I don’t often seek advice, at least not with the intention of actually listening to it. I often ask people what they think about something, but I usually just go with my instinct anyway. I guess talking about choices just makes for good conversation. No one knows me better than I do, and I feel like I should always know the best answer to any question I am ever confronted with. Usually, I have a very strong tendency toward picking one option, and more often than not I pick that option. It just feels right.
However, just because what I do feels right doesn’t mean it is fun. I often (if not always) deprive myself of fun opportunities because I would feel wrong participating in them. As a result, I often just sit at home talking to people or playing video games. If I tire of those things, I just sit around doing absolutely nothing. Though always morally upright and “good”, I feel like I am often missing out on things that I will regret missing out on later. I suppose there’s a reason I’m so conservative, though, and I just have to hope that everything will work out in the end, regardless of what decisions I make.
Change has always been a very confusing concept for me. Though I never consciously care about it, I subconsciously resist it with all my might. When I do, though, I regret resisting it and wish I had not. Just writing this blog confused me, but despite my knowledge of my hypocrisies, I doubt I will change my strange ways anytime soon. I’ll try to just do what I think is best and bear the burden if I make a wrong choice, but I doubt I’ll ever be totally clear as to what my philosophy on change is. Ultimately, it’s pointless to even think about. I am who I am, and I will react to each situation differently. I just have to hope that my reaction is the right one.
Deanna N:
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I must say that I wish that I could always write as well as you do. I feel like you could write about just about anything and make it sound great, whereas I need to be really inspired to write something well. Concerning your actual blog, I agree completely that thinking about or anticipating change is pointless. What purpose does it serve to fret about something that we cannot change? I'm the same way with advice too. That's not a bad thing, though. Being convicted about something (or everything) can never be a disadvantage, because having purpose can only lead to good things. I basically agreed with everything you wrote. As a side note, I'm sorry to hear about whatever rug-pulling occurred today.
Lauren D:
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, what is a Twisty Towel?
Concerning your morning routine, I go through the same thing, more or less (in mine, though, there are no beauty or hair routines to be found). I also don't like to take risks, because I feel like I would flounder if confronted with an unusual situation. Though I don't really go out of my way to avoid change, I certainly don't want my life to be consumed by it. I'm pretty content with where I am right now.
Hannah S:
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I suppose I'm the only one who noticed that you spelled your name Hamah this week. Pertaining to what you said, though, I think that being in a robotic routine would be boring, too. However, I feel like it is enough for me to just do something interesting each day within my same routine. I suppose you would disagree with that. It seems you are more of a risk taker than I am, but then again, mostly everyone I know is. I guess I am pretty content just being, well, content.
Humans are creatures of habit, and I am surely one who feels the need to go about every day essentially the same, fearing any deviation or change. However even though I am trapped in my routine during my high school years, I believe the future holds changes regardless of what we make of it. The transition into adulthood is a new and frightening experience that is inevitable for all of those who look to actually do something with their lives (of course excluding those living in their parent’s basement instead of experiencing this transition). I am frightened of change, but I see it as just a flow of how life works and have accepted these changes will happen. College is an experience that is completely out of my realm of comfort, but I also see the positive side of this transition such as leaving all the Oakcrest goers behind that were “too cool for school” and decided to barely pass their classes. I see that I am not making a concrete argument nor am I staying on one side rather than the other, and this is because I see change with both its positive and negative effect. I like to go about my days in high school in routine, eat at my favorite restaurant and eat the same thing, but when change faces me I first am out of my comfort zone but I accept the fact of change and how it’s essential to life.
ReplyDeleteEven though my days flow in routine, the choices I make within them are especially calculated and weighed. Almost every situation I look at all sides of an outcome and weigh it accordingly, I remember in a previous blog where I talked about the movie 21 when statistical change influenced a choice, even if it went against “gut feeling.” I like to analyze situations and rely on possibility and probability to decide; therefore I am a good problem solver. In project adventure I was always the one who thought of an idea and outlined the plan, because for some reason I look at all situations differently than others. This I guess would attribute to how I fear change and don’t welcome it with open arms, for I don’t just have a mentality of “let’s see what happens” which seems to be how many other people think when going out or deciding on something. I must think of all the outcomes and possibilities before I am satisfied with making a decision, which often will drive other people insane because of the reasons I give for going to a certain place. I frequently don’t look for advice for any particular person; I usually try to break apart my problem and try to figure it out by myself before I go asking others. If I fail, I try and try again until I can find a way to evaluate a problem, so you could say that I rely solely on my wits to lead me to a correct answer or reasonable evaluation. A reason for this is simply relying on other people seems unhelpful because if someone tells you how to do something, then how will one ever learn how to evaluate and solve a problem. I find it best to try to solve a problem without help or a nudge in the right direction.
To be simple, I think change means evolution. Evolution meaning gradual development into something bigger and something better. In my opinion, we, as humans, change things when something isn’t going the way we want it to be. We change things because we think they’re flawed. Now, I must admit that sometimes humans change things when they don’t need to be, but for the most part, we change it so that it’s more efficient and convenient for us.
ReplyDeleteChange is appealing to me because of the simple fact that I can’t really sit still. I get bored with things too easily. In my mind, I live in a fast pace world where everything’s changing. If things were to stop, then we’d fall into oblivion. I am entranced at all the changes that go on in our society. I think the most obvious one is the changes in technology like with the iPods and cell phones. Things like that I just can’t keep my hands off of. I’m just amused at everything that’s different. I guess I like diversity…or I just have A.D.D. and I like shiny objects.
Other than technology though, I think I’m all about finding a new way for things to operate. By things, I mean the rules and standards of thinking in our society. Things like gay marriage, of course, are things that I would find for. We need to change things so that it benefit’s the common good. Change is like evolution as I said. It’ll help us.
For me, I think change will always do me good because, like I said, I’m always up for the newest things. I think this is why I’m into fashion so much. The fashion industry is full of trends that consistently change in a matter of months. With my open-mindedness toward change, I think I won’t have a problem at all fitting into that cut throat world. So, bring on the change, I’ll take it full on with a dazzling personality and some cute shoes.
With making choices, I think I definitely weight out the consequences for. I’m very mindful of things. I think about everything. I think about it a little too much actually. I pretty much seek advice from everyone that I think I can trust -- which is a lot of people. But it’s okay, because so far, everyone’s kept their trust with me.
Anyways, I definitely weigh out the pros and cons of everything that I do. But I think, no matter how much I weigh things out, I go with what my heart really tells me to do. If any of you watched the Sex and the City movie, I always mentally do what Miranda did when she was deciding on getting back together with Stan. Basically, what she did was weigh out her pros and cons but even after seeing that the list had more cons, she still went through with it.
I really don’t understand how I do these things though. Most of the time, it works to my advantage and I’ve been really lucky with it. But sometimes, I do luck out and end up hurting myself. But I learn. I grow up. I evolve. I change.
Gwen,
ReplyDeleteI love how the syntax of your first paragraph goes very well with what you were describing. By using short simple sentences, you made the paragraph move so fast that it went along with you talking about, basically, being hyper and not standing still. As I read your blog, I realize how creepily alike we are in taking on change. We're like soulmates, except it doesn't really workout. :(
Haha. Just kidding.
Change is not something you choose. It is something that happens. Gravity quivers in the shadow of change’s perpetual power. Everything must succumb to it. Resisting change is not keeping things consistent, because no matter what you cling to everything around it (including you) will change. Therefore essentially nothing can stay the same from cells to civilizations. Change is natural. Consistency is alien to our world. Humans stomp on everything in their path without noticing, barely listening to the cracks of opportunity and truth crying out under their feet. Basically we miss a lot. We usually only observe change that directly affects our lives in an obvious way.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Sarah and I’m addicted to change. New starts and open doors are my havens. Change promises that no matter how badly you ruin the world or your life your mistakes can’t imprison you. I know I make a lot of mistakes, and there are probably many more that haven’t even occurred to me yet. However I’m still alive. I still believe I have more happiness and success ahead of me than I can possible imagine. But before we all decide to worship change, its darker side must be recognized. We have change to thank for death, genocide, rape, murder, job losses, disease, and (horror of all horrors) the recent budget cuts. Change effortlessly sprinkles suffering and evil across lives, without ever looking back. When change’s darkness dissolves the light of the sun and hope, our quest for the glow of good becomes most important. I believe that love is completely inaccessible without heartbreak and pain. Happiness is impossible without sadness. Success is unobtainable without failure and mistakes. Without darkness, how would we understand light?
When ambushed with choices or dizzy with confusion, I take a step back. I realize that resistance to change is futile, and I shouldn’t defend an option merely because it’s familiar. I separate myself from the situation for a second. What is important to me? What are my goals? My priorities? What do I like about myself and who do I want to be? Could I respect myself if I made this choice? How will it affect those around me? If this choice defined me as a person, would I be satisfied with it? With these questions as my judges, I hold court. Spontaneity can be the perfect escape plan from a rut, unless the decision will haunt you far longer than it will amuse you. You create yourself with your choices. Why waste them?
JV,
ReplyDelete'If any of you watched the Sex and the City movie...' yeah.
First of all, I lllloooovvveeee that movie [so thank you for forcing me to watch it with you]
Second, I always imagine that scene in the movie as well whenever I think about making a pros and cons list. I never follow through with that plan, but after I think about it, I feel like watching that movie all over again.
Third...I actually don't have a third point, but I didn't feel like stopping at two. Hah
Fourth, we have to see Sex and the City 2 together, or else it'll ruin the tradition.
okay, I'm done. :)
Manar:
ReplyDeleteI see your point in your blog, how we say we would like and want change but really only is certain circumstances that basically stay within our comfort zone. Even though I would like to move when I go to college, if my parents we were moving before my high school venture is done, I would be devastated. Change is only acceptable in situations where we feel that we benefit from it.
Jourdan:
I liked your blog a lot, and it really made me think when you made the comment on farsightedness and how it actually works. This made me sit and think for a little while for I never really thought of how sight really works. Your analogy between making decisions and sight put it in a very new and different perspective for me.
Alexis:
“I like change, but at the same time, it terrifies me and I cannot go through with it blinded.” I totally agree with what you are saying, that change is good and also inevitable but it is also terrifying to think of the extent that a sudden unknown change can have on life. We go through high school with such routine that little deviations could change a lot; therefore it terrifies many of us when we hear of a deviation from the normal.
For the first two-and-a-half years of my high school career, I yearned for the day junior year would end, leaving no more of high school than a refreshing summer vacation and one final year at the Oak. I was never really in love with the whole going to high school process—the early hours, long bus rides, etc—and I wanted to get to that tolerable, perhaps even fun, final year. Only recently did reality slap me in the face. Shocked by the tangibility of it all—hearing about Seniors’ college plans, feeling the ever nearer close of junior year—my outlook did a giant back flip and left me painfully aware of the fact that going to Oak isn’t half-horrible after all and I have little clue as to what to do next. Senior year now looms on the horizon like a storm cloud, and the knells announcing my future in the “real world” have begun to toll.
ReplyDeleteYes, you guessed it, change tends to terrify me. To clarify, I’ll break down “change” into two main groups: internal and external. Internal change refers to alterations of my own personal code/character/worldview, that is, how I think, feel, and set standards for my actions. Usually, this change isn’t especially scary, for me, because it comes as a result of external change (a change in my environment or routine) and, whether internal change is for better or worse, it often goes unnoticed. External change is the scary stuff, generally. As always, there are exceptions. If the change is one whose outcome, or likely outcome, is something I deeply desire, I’m pretty receptive to it despite the threat of entering the unknown. For instance, if, in the distant future, I was offered a position on US Olympic team for dressage (highly improbable, of course) I wouldn’t think twice even though I would be thrown into new, scary situations and would, most likely, have to totally revamp my way of life. The opportunities such change would open up would be well worth any risk, and I would go in knowing that something wonderful lay ahead. Also, the “small stuff” tends not to bother me so much. Picture a “change scale” with “use a new book bag” at the bottom, “move one street over” somewhere in the middle, and “go to college in another country where no one speaks English” at the tippy top. As the degree of change increases, my fear increases proportionally, because the potential implications of the change become more serious. Changes that come with an impenetrable shroud, or, worse, an ominous air, surrounding their potential effects are the most frightening. College is a pertinent example. There are so many things to worry about, especially if I go away to school. Will I adapt to a totally new environment effectively? Me-the-Pessimist: “Maybe in a million years.” If I stay away from home, will I be able to handle the pressures of life on my own and not become scared/homesick? M-t-P: “Of course not, I’ll be lonely and worry about my safety, health, and financial situation.”
I fear not knowing what’s coming, or having the idea that something unpleasant lies ahead, because that leaves me with no way to sufficiently prepare. I don’t know what it’s like to be a college student, and I won’t until I live as one. So many things could go wrong, from me not adapting to the course work to being bored or scared or lonely socially. With little idea of what my reaction to college life will be, I feel helpless.
ReplyDeleteChoice is largely responsible for my fear of change. Obviously, I don’t start shaking if I have to pick between chocolate and vanilla ice cream, but for bigger changes—college, again, for instance—the strong possibility of making a bad choice is overwhelming. There are so many factors to consider when choosing a school that the process is horribly frustrating (and I’m not even going to talk about life beyond college… careers? I have no clue). Anyway, even for easier choices—chocolate or vanilla ice-cream, see a movie or go for a hike—I do tend to weigh my options. I try to be as thorough as possible, considering what would be the best choice and why. It’s actually pretty stressful—much more so than “just picking something” would be—and if I get really fed up with the decision process, I will, occasionally make a split decision. Usually, though, I’ll ask for a second opinion instead. My mom is among my top advice-givers, because she knows (and, actually, shares) many of my likes and dislikes, and she has lived through most of the life-decisions I have to make. This makes her the perfect consultant on anything from ice-cream flavor to what courses to take senior year. However, who I ask definitely depends on the situation. Dad has pioneered the “let’s research colleges” movement in the Bacha household, so he’s my go-to man for college info and advice. While venting to Mom about school issues takes a load off my chest and while she often has good advice, I look to friends for guidance when it comes to personal problems, guys, and the like. While choice and change can be extremely taxing, having someone to talk to makes both easier to deal with.
Lauren,
ReplyDeleteThe way you described your daily routine didn't sound that boring to me. It sounded very polished and organized, but it did sound very safe and unchanging. I think though, this is my justification on things, that we have to live our lives like this because of society and the standards that are set for us. Sometimes though, I think you should just let loose! Next time, do something different! Maybe next time, don't use your twisty towel. Start with little things and then build up to the bigger ones as time progresses.
Ps. I saw Lucas' comment and laughed when he asked you what a twisty towel was. :)
In order to grow, you have to leave the place you grew up in. I have lived in Port Republic my whole life. Since I was in kindergarten I have walked out that blue door, down the brick steps, and off to school every morning. Port Republic and Oakcrest have taught me a lot in the past seventeen years, but I'm starting to out grow Port. The world is full of opportunities, but none of them, for me, lie within the small bounds of the City of Port Republic.
ReplyDeleteWhen you leave your home, you leave your comfort zone. Without having everything you've depended on you are forced to grow as a person. You gain self control, learn to rely on yourself, and, most importantly, find who you really are. I want to leave New Jersey, not that I have anything against you guys, I hope to remain friends with most of you, but because being on my own, far from the social connections we've depended on, will teach me new things about myself. I can do soul searching, and figure out what I really want to do with my life. Sudden and dramatic change can teach us everything we need to know about ourselves, if we let it. I remember how much I grew and developed within my first two years at Oakcrest. I can't imagine learning everything I did about myself if I still went to Port School, it just makes sense that the next step in the progression of my life is moving away to college.
When it comes to making personal choices, that effect myself alone, I can be very indecisive. Decisions seem to be a lot easier for me to make when they effect a group of people, even when I'm included in that group. It isn't that I become less responsible or cautious when I'm deciding on a group issue, but making decisions that are solely about myself, obviously, tend to be much more personal, spiritual even. The decisions you make that only directly affect yourself can say a lot about you as a person.
There is no question, I am a planner. No matter who my choice may effect I always try to think about the possible outcomes, and plan for every outcome, and then have contingency plans for everything that could possibly go wrong. On top of that, it is my belief to always have an exit strategy for when your decision goes terribly wrong and you need to cut your loses. This planning process has its strong points, but it also sometimes prevents me from taking risks, which are sometimes necessary.
Change and tough choices are inevitable, but you have to take what you can from them. If it weren't for change and choices growth would be impossible.
JV's response to Lauren and the postscript directed at me:
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm clueless when it comes to... just about anything concerning everyday life. And I just looked it up, and I feel really stupid for not knowing what it was. Oops.
Sarah Lombardo,
ReplyDeleteYour first paragraph made me feel like I was reading an AP Exam passage. It was beautifully donned figurative language that made me feel like change was a tangible object.
Anyways, I enjoyed how you started like you were in a rehab circle going "My name is Sarah and I'm addicted to change." Also, I really liked how you talked about basically knowing that counterpart of what you yearn for like happiness and sadness. It really gave me a different perspective onto how to view things in life.
Rob- I love how you describe change as natural, you are so extremely right! I feel that as much as you hold back on making everything back to normal, it's never quite the same. Indicating clearly that something has either changed in you, the situation, enviroment or a certain person. Your right the future is going to come no matter how bad we repress it. I guess I idolize your practical thinking.
ReplyDeleteDeanna- Then, of course, I align myself with good and fight on! If follows then that I hardly ask anyone for advice.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love your introduction because change is unavoidable and wether we like it or not we honestly have no choice in facing it.
Then there's that quote above. I can truly get why you said that. I do it all the time, I just don't have the heart to ever tell someone, "Oh by the way I was asking in a way for my own entertainment." which I sometimes do. Though your blog was blunt, I loved it very much and no worries it's not bitter just truthful!
Brittany - Thanks I really needed that especially today :)
Lauren - I feel like a creature of only a mess compared to your routine. No where in your outline does it say dash for the bus, or dig in the closet for shoes! Though it's repetitive, I must say it seems more peaceful and less stressful when it's organized. I think if I were that type of person to be able to uphold that routine then I wouldn't want to change it either. On the other hand it seems you have trouble with choices. You remind me of me having a Wawa moment should I get Ice Tea or a Fuze today? A pretzel or a bag of pretzels? Of course your decisions are probably far more serious if they cause you to think for two months, but just know that whatever choices you do make if in the beginning, I believe, you have good intentions then the outcome can never be that bad or far off from good to not be fixed.
Jessie- To clarify, I’ll break down “change” into two main groups: internal and external.
Thank Allah!(God) I think you absolutely just took what many of us in a sense were trying to explain how some changes are different then others. I don't believe it could have been better categorized better then that some are internal and others external. It was clever and I don't think I could have thought of it considering that I took far more words to try to describe what you stated very well in fewer words. Which is an Orwellian rule and I love his rules :) I liked your blog if was explained thoroughly with your examples as well.
Gwen:
ReplyDelete"But if it’s a type of change that doesn’t seem to have any perks to it, I don’t even want to welcome the very thought of it."
Even when change seems bad we can still learn and grow from it. It's easy to forget that when "bad" changes are happening, but what can give you hope is taking something away from that experience. Then you can know that even thought something bad did happen, it wasn't a totally negative change. Out of that bad situation you yourself changed for the better.
Alix:
ReplyDelete"I love the people I’ve met and the things that I have accomplished, but there is just no possible way I see myself thriving here for the rest of my life."
I wrote almost the exact same thing in my blog post. I've done a lot here and I'm certainly thankful for everything I've learned here, but I can't stay in Port Republic forever. I need to go to a bigger place with more opportunity to thrive, because let's face it, I don't really stand a chance working in South Jersey politics. I'm not exactly the ideal candidate for this area.
Taylor- Maybe your afraid of change because you finally found where you belong, are comfortable and essentially can just be yourself. They are all reasonable answers to why you fear the unknown and change upsets you. I guess what I say is I understand because I was once there and I realized that even if you wish on a shooting star your life will change in some way or another. Embrace it with all the effort you can. I know right now that you cant see anything pass the Oakcrest halls but you have so much to offer the world that change in a sense isnt working against you.
ReplyDeleteChanges are inevitable. Nothing can ever stay the same for eternity. Not everything is in your control so making sure everything stays the same is impossible. Because of the inevitability of change, I try my best to accept it and embrace it. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes normalcy is exactly what I want, but sometimes change is what I need.
ReplyDeleteI’ve been trying this new thing lately called spontaneity. Being spontaneous has caused me to allow change to happen more easily. I think being spontaneous, although within my control, will allow me to better adapt to situations that are out of my control. This has allowed me to become more comfortable with the idea of change; however, there will always be a tinge of uneasiness within me when the topic comes up. Fear of the unknown I guess you could call it.
Despite this unsettling feeling I get when change is proposed, I think change is good. It provides new opportunities and life experiences that would have never been realized when stuck in the routines of normalcy. This diversity expands the mind. So even though the idea of change itself is frightening, I accept it and take it on full force, knowing what I will gain from it in the long run. Not all changes are favorable, but I think the lessons learned from unfavorable changes improve any person who experiences them.
I think a major reason I’m open to change is because I weigh out every possibility every consequence a decision of mine may have. I’m a horrible decision-maker. I’m worse than horrible actually. It takes me about a century to make one simple decision because I need to be sure it’s the right choice. I weigh out the pros and cons in my mind, ask about a thousand people for their advice on it, and then think about it for another decade. And after all this, I’m usually still unsure of my decision; however, I justify it with the lengthy process I went through to arrive at it. So obviously, when asked about something on the spot, I panic. I like to think it over in my head, whether it’s my choice of words or an action. I’m not one to talk or act without thinking. I try my best to make wise choices for everything that I do.
Choices lead to changes, changes lead to choices. Are changes scary? No doubt. However, making the right choices in life will alleviate any unfavorable changes you may stumble upon. That’s my philosophy to make it through this constantly changing world with as much ease as possible. The unknown will always be hidden behind the other side of the door, but choosing the right door to walk through will make it a little less terrifying.
Hannah: You seemed very unsure about your feelings on change. Maybe you should’ve thought it through further before trying to express your feelings on it. However, by the time you chose which side you were going to take on the topic of change, the reasons behind your feelings made sense. Change is a positive thing.
ReplyDeleteTaylor: I love the opening to your blog. By including those personal details of your life, I immediately felt connected, gaining the ability to understand why change scares you so much. I also loved your simile, “I’m about to shovel thousands of dollars into a future that’s as fuzzy as giving the middle finger on television.” That made me giggle. I also loved your comparison of your future to a surprise party. I thought your entire blog was very well written. I always love reading them.
Kristie: I’m glad I can help you in your decision making, even though I’m not very good at it myself. I know you act on impulse often, not thinking thoroughly before you do things, so I’m glad to hear that you’re thinking this whole college thing in California through. It’s scary to think that a year from now, we will soon be saying our goodbyes so you head to the other side of the country. Change like this hurts, but it’s an opportunity to meet new people and it won’t be a complete change after all because I know you’ll always be a part of my life.
Kaitlin H:
ReplyDeleteI wish I could be a little more spontaneous sometimes. I think having some fun would do a great deal of good, but ultimately I just never feel like putting myself out there.
P.S. You definitely used the exact same opening sentence as I did.
“Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Be you and be okay with it.”
ReplyDeleteThis quote struck me sometime in the beginning of the year while I was doing a little soul searching. Losing my best friend was the beginning of all hell breaking loose. Yet, with every single obstacle I approached, I began to realize the only thing keeping me from dodging these curveballs was the idea of “change.” I was so startled by how much my life had been altered, I forgot how much we all grow and learn from each new experience in life. Change is how we make it. Being so afraid to step outside of my comfort zone has caused me to hold on to things that have only had a negative impact. In my opinion change is inevitable.
Today in gym class Kristie and I were discussing how much our lives have “changed” since our elementary and middle school days. Even from last year our perspective on life and the people around us have altered our personalities. However, with this change there is always a constant somewhere. No matter what changes, somewhere something about you stays the same. I guess the comfort in that statement helps me yearn for change.
The thrill of not knowing who I will be in a few years, months or even tomorrow, keeps me wondering and guessing. This thrill allows me to focus on who I am right now not worrying about maintaining this constant persona. Of course there is the negative change, but out of the negative just comes the positive right? There are many changes I would love to undergo right now, but they cannot happen. I know I have the power to make any changes I want, but the time is not right for me to “change,” and when it is, I will be the person I have wanted to be for a long time.
Changing for you and not for others is the only way to successfully change. Every aspect of a change will ultimately affect your future and your life. Personally, I have turned from this hyper crazy person, to being a debby-downer every day. I hate it and it has greatly impacted me, but I have changed. I wish I did not, and there is hope to change back but it has impacted my friends, the people around me, and most of all myself. A good friend of mine came up to me recently and said “Cheek, I know we never talk anymore, but you aren’t this happy crazy kid who jumps off the walls anymore.” (Or something like that) We began talking and I’ve realized how much my presence has changed. I guess I have made the choice to act this way, but either way I am not happy.
Recently I have sought out for some advice on certain issues. However, before the last couple of months, I always took decision making into my own hands. Personally, I do not like decision making in general. I always let other people make the choice when it directly impacts them, but not impacting me as much. For example, what should we eat at a friend’s. Decisions like that, I do not care about. The major decisions I tend to react without thinking and on my own judgment. I know that when you asking for advice, odds are the person is just seeing it from your perspective and not the whole
picture. The truth lies within yourself and you know what needs to be done because if you really think about it, you’ll know what to do, (in my opinion). I do not ever like to think about choices because I tend to over think them. When I just act on instinct usually it works out and if it doesn’t I learn from it. Of course there are always those
people that you can trust with anything that always seem to give the best advice like a few friends and one adult I know, but with everything, you can’t rely on anyone but yourself to really know what is best. Hearing outside opinions is often good, but nothing they ever say is set in stone. The choices you make directly affect you and no one else.
Lauren- Your schedule is so structured but somewhere beneath it I can detect that you are tired of it. I mean you want zest and spice and I want the same thing too. Maybe I am misinterrupting it but that is what I felt reading your blog. I am a fan of structured but a fan of change, I know that is quite strange. Anyways, that is why I feel like college is going to be such a new experience. We can cultivate new schedules each and everyday because we are going to be exposed to options and provided with places to venture. We are young, I feel that these schedules should be saved for when we want to start a family.
ReplyDeleteBritt:
ReplyDelete“My feelings towards change have gone back and forth for the longest time now. It’s like that person that you can’t live with but at the same time you can’t live without them. Back in eighth grade I dreaded change.”
You got me thinking… The eighth grade to high school transition was pretty scary stuff for me too, but I survived. Went to high school, met new people, leaned to deal with larger classes and harder workloads… survived. I guess the lesson is change happens and life goes on. That’s not going to change the fact that I dread change, but perhaps I should try to look at upcoming changes (COLLEGE!) in an it’s-going-to-happen-so-I-might-as-well-make-the-best-of-it context.
I am a person who slams the door, bolt locks it, and locks myself in a closet when change comes knocking at my front door. Although I am completely ready for my high school career to be over at Oakcrest, mostly because I feel it has nothing left to offer me, I am still afraid of everything else. I welcome the change of scenery and from high school to college because I will gain one thing: freedom. I yearn for the freedom to do what I want when I please and the freedom to hang out with whom ever I want when I want. Of course, there will also be responsibility and stress that comes with this particular change, but both of these things I am willing to take on because I am ready to begin my life and gain my freedom.
ReplyDeleteAs for any other change, the lost of a loved one, moving houses, or breaking up with a boyfriend—I hate these kinds of changes. These are all things that cause dramatic changes. I can no longer kiss my grandmother’s cheek in the morning, I can’t walk to the Wawa that used to be at the end of my street, or I have to take a new way to class to avoid awkward meetings. These are all things that would bother me because my feelings would be unknown, my healing process is on its own time and I do not know it. It is the fear of the unknown that drives me to run from change. It causes me so much stress, pressure, and anxiety that I want to avoid it at all costs.
So, to avoid these changes that cause me so much change, I am very hard on myself when making decisions. I constantly second guess how I am feeling and thinking. I change my mind a billions times because I completely settle on something. And even after I do settle on something, I may still be on the fence for a little while longer. I constantly weigh out my options. I take a look at everything, every door of opportunity and every little detail in that door. I never make a decision on my own though. I mean, of course, I make the final decision because it is my life and it should be in my hands, but I like to consider what other people have to say. It is important to be to hear other people’s point of view because they usually say something I had not thought about or bring something into a new light. It is important to look at everything, that way the decision that I make is a good one and I can live with it.
Alexis- I agree with every point you presented in your blog. I hate admitting it, but I also believe other people’s inputs on a situation are skewed. Yes, sometimes they are rather intriguing and inspiring, but most of the time they lead you back to where you started. My blog also references this point in more detail, but I just wanted to point out how much I agree. Another point that struck me was the part about making choices that benefit others. Your prom comment today in class showed how much truth was in that statement on the blog. I do this all the time, and people get mad at me for it... I never give an answer I just say, “I don’t care, whatever you want.” It is force of habit now (and sometimes a bad thing) but making others happy just seems like the easier thing to. Greattt blog!
ReplyDeleteAlix- I guess I have the same problem with boredom. I run around all day until I have to go to sleep because I hate sitting back and seeing how my life has evolved. No, I’m not afraid of change; just sometimes I don’t like witnessing it. I do believe that boredom is the root of change, when things are always going right for long period of time, it seems almost wrong. Ahhh I can’t wait for you to go back to the city and feel like you are home again. I loved the example of the ‘No Swimming’ which is sort of ironic, which you know why. “I usually just go with my gut and whatever happens, happens.” I love/envy that statement!
Kristie- Soon enough the change you are longing for will come. I know you have been searching for something ‘different’ but trust me in the next few years that change will come. With your sister going to college, your life will inevitably be different, but you still have your core group of friends. Going to college will also be a much needed change, but trust me when I say get the hell out of New Jersey! We will all still keep in contact just rock the world!
Alex N:
ReplyDelete"All this unknown terrifies me."
The unknown can be very scary, but I also think it can be very exciting! Think about all the new experiences, all the new people, and all the new opportunities. Each one of those has something to offer us that we didn't have before. Think about how boring life would be if we didn't have to go through times of unknown.
Kaitlin:
ReplyDelete“So even though the idea of change itself is frightening, I accept it and take it on full force, knowing what I will gain from it in the long run.”
“I’ve been trying this new thing lately called spontaneity.”
I admire your view of change, though think that no matter how much I rationalize change for myself (and I definitely agree that there is much to gain from being open to new experiences, whether they end poorly or well) I will never be able to embrace change with open arms. I envy your ability to be spontaneous. My life is so structured, and my personality is so cautious/reserved, that I have trouble “loosening up” enough to act on impulse.
Alex N:
ReplyDeleteIn the last paragraph of your blog, you discussed how you only trust certain people with certain situations. I am pretty sure that it normal. At least, I hope it is because I do it as well. It is important to take into consideration the person whom you are asking advice because it would not make sense to ask a completely ignorant person something important. I like the way you worded it though and it reminded me of how I make decisions.
Hannah:
I applaud your strength and intelligence. To me, "At first all of these events felt like change, but now that I think about it change is normal..." is completely far away from something us teenagers are able to comprehend. While most of us know change is inevitable, we still run like scared babies. I think it is great how you have accepted it early in your life. It should make things way easier for you in the future. I wish I could be more like that.
Alexis B:
"like change because it feels like I'm moving, like I'm making progress in some sort of direction. I like moving, I like feeling like I'm growing instead of just staying still." This sentence means a lot to me. It is exactly how I feel. I feel that change is important in growing and so I want to be okay with it and I do not actually fight it off. However, it is the complete mess of Equilibrium (Yeah, AP Chem) that makes me so nervous and scared when change comes knocking. It is like our whole lives, right now, are unstable because we have little control over it that anything else added to the mix completely shatters what little stability we did have.
The pulsating pump bump-bump of my heart increases, as my nerves go wild. It’s the adrenaline rush. It’s the motivation that lifts me up. It’s the hope, of a maybe not so disappointing ending. Change. If it weren’t for change, I honestly have no clue as to what I’d be doing right now. I think I would of gave up on a lot of things a long time ago. For me, change brings excitement. A chance to do something new, do something great. Change is prevalent everyday, however overlooked and taken for granted it is. A change in marking period brings hope and a new life to every student. Just as a change in school year, brings about motivation and excitement. At work, there is a change every month; it keeps me going, each month there is new goals and so I continue to strive to go beyond what is expected and I feel as if I do it well.
ReplyDeleteThe seduction of change enraptures many people. While many others hide, in fear of getting their heart broken by this temptress. However, the mere lust for change has grown into a love. I love change, and all the hope, excitement, and motivation it brings. As college nears, and my stress level rises, I can hear the bump-bump. I can feel the pulsating pump. My nerves have nearly checked into Ancora. There is no doubt that when I say I can’t wait, I mean it in the most literal form of the phrase. New people to meet, new subjects that I can pick from, a new life. My hopes for college is that I figure out what I am suppose to be doing. Beyond school work, and “work” work. I hope that this coming change will bring me at peace with my nagging and scratching feeling from within.
As much as I love change, I love my mom’s advice. Since, I seem to be quite indecisive at times, my mom has always been there to help me out. Her nonbiased, honest advice leaves me secure in what I should do, because she doesn’t just tell me yes or no, she pushes me… motivates me to make the decision, to make the change on my own. She’s always there to make sure I rely on my wits. I am not insecure as a person, nor do I doubt my intelligence on making a decision. But for some reason I crave her advice, I guess it acts as some sort of approval to what I have chosen, or at least it gives me a chance to explain to someone else why I have chosen what I have chosen. And that, I believe adds confidence in my decisions. With each and every decision made, change is inevitable. So, that feeling I get, the excited, crazy, nervous feeling... Well, it makes perfect cents ;)
Part uno:
ReplyDeleteChange has always been something that has frightened me, not change as in meeting new people or venturing to a new environment, but change as in people entering and leaving my life. Throughout my seventeen years on this earth I have had more people come in and out of my life than most can even imagine. Friends, family, girlfriends they all come and go but each has left a special permanent mark upon my life. Whether it was teaching me a lesson in friendship, helping me when I was down, or even showing me that high school love does exist, everyone has done something big or small that has affected who I am today. But lately I have become abnormally comfortable with those important people in my life, why? Because they’re always there for me, whenever I need them they’re no further then a text and short drive. But things are going to change, soon these people whom I cherish most in life will not be there for me, and I have no idea how I’ll be able to find the strength to cope with it. Already I can see it starting to begin, friends going off to college, losing contact with individuals your life used to depend on, the list goes on and on. We lose the people we love the most in a flash, but isn’t that how change is? Swift and severe. Like a cruel punishment you were not expecting. Through all of this I have found a way to deal with change, you must accept it...you must embrace it. Everything happens for a reason and you must learn to cope with that truth.
Alex N: First off, I would like to say how proud I am of you to have you're blog up first! :) Second, I love your honesty in all your writing. It brings your personality to the surface. Even the way you organize your blog shows the organizational process you described in your blog!
ReplyDeleteStephanie: The implications on your blog were great, and I love how you wrote: "Although I am completely ready for my high school career to be over at Oakcrest, mostly because I feel it has nothing left to offer me" I feel pretty much the same way, as I bet most of us do. But even with your indecisiveness, I am confident that your intelligence will surprise you with the decisions that won't be able to involve others opinions.
Kaitlyn: "Choices lead to changes, changes lead to choices." Very nice use of chiasmus! You're so calm, and collected all the time, even when your in the midst of a decision. So I was, in a way, surprised that you think about your actions that much. However, at the same time, the totality and mood of your blog is calm and collected, describing you perfectly. :) You're voice comes through your writing.
Paola:
ReplyDelete“But for some reason I crave her advice, I guess it acts as some sort of approval to what I have chosen, or at least it gives me a chance to explain to someone else why I have chosen what I have chosen.”
I’m with you. I like to make my own decisions when all is said and done, but I’m all for second opinions. Mom, Dad, friends, whoever, all help me see other possibilities that I might not otherwise consider and, like you said, having someone else’s advice gives me confidence in my own choice.
Paola,
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your post, I felt like I was on an ad campaign for something promoting the ultimate outdoors experience. I loved it! You put the adrenaline you were talking about in your writing and it made it really exciting. I love that you see opportunity in the changes in even the smallest things like the beginning of a new marking period. An outlook in life like that is something to be promoted.
Right now, my life sucks. I feel like an ungrateful little brat when I say that because there are people who are in much worse condition than me but I don’t know what else to call the present moment. My days are lethargic, soporific, and colorless. I go through the same ordered events everyday and is the reason why I’m not so content with the things they are. Since I feel this way, I’ll welcome any change that comes my way. As long as my days don’t seem perpetual and boring, I’ll accept anything that disrupts the cycle. I want my days to be exuberant and colorful. I want to step out into the euphonious chants in the air. I want to enter school without having to exit half dead. I CRAVE a change. I don’t want to live life without any changes, changes for the good that is.
ReplyDeleteLike Bunje said, many change’s dance partners (which I won’t have next year cause they decided to cut the dance program) is choice. Well if I want changes it’d be easy for me to have them, because I have the ability to make choices that’ll affect my daily routine. I have the choice to jump out from my window and then roam the woods, that is if I make a safe landing. I have the choice to lie to my parents and play hooky everyday. I have the choice to shave my hair off like Britney Spears. But I don’t decide to make any of these choices because it would overall be detrimental. I know I won’t make a safe landing if I jumped off my window, without having to break a limb or two. I have NO choice when it comes to school, it would be the end of story if my parents caught me playing hooky. Having a ‘do like Spear’s would not suit me would startle me, I’m not accustomed to negative changes especially one’s that effect how I see myself.
This comes to show, that I do look at the consequences before I take further action especially being confronted with difficult choices. Also, I’m the type of person who’s reluctant to make choices for myself. For instance, I can never decide what dress to buy for, say, a party. I need someone’s help to help make a final decision. Another instance is deciding what to eat when I go places. Just this other day, I went to Dunkin Donuts with my friend and I couldn’t pick which donut would satisfy my stomach even after she was done ordering hers. I ended up with blueberry cake and white chocolate, my first and last time drinking that (haha). Even though those examples are insignificant matters that will hardly cause a drastic change, I’m still hesitant. I can’t react as quickly. It’s wise to think before you make choices, but other times its not so good. It depends on how you perceive it.
However the changes I want, I want them to occur naturally. I want them to pop out of nowhere and make its way in my life. I want it to be destiny, like good changes that are bound to happen no matter what. But sometimes you can’t always rely on destiny to spoof up some magic. I’m hoping later on in the future, the changes that occur are for the better and the choices I make help contribute to this new life I so desire. Until then, my days are like a black and white movie with the same old plot playing waiting for something different to happen.
Change is inevitable. No matter what the change may be, you have to accept it, and move on. Someone named Roseanne Cash, whom I never heard of until now, once said "The key to change... is to let go of fear," and I could not agree more. Everyone, even I, is scared of change. I look forward to it on occasion, but there is still a muffled fear. This is natural of course; there is a certain comfort in routine and familiarity. But change can be appealing, because it can bring about a whole new way of life or point of view. When I think of change, I think of opportunity. That is probably what is so appealing about it -- an opportunity to start over new or an opportunity to try and fix something. Being an optimistic lame-o, I always hope that change will bring that. Or that it will bring new people or things into my life that could make it that much better.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to making choices, I don't know what my process is! It's one of those things that I never really think about. Honestly, a lot of times I do "eeney meeney miney moe." Go ahead, laugh; I know I am. I never truly know what I want, unless of course, the answer is a given. Like italian hoagie, or ham and cheese? DEFINITELY italian hoagie! A lot of times I find myself distracted and I don't even think about it until the last minute, and force myself to blindly choose. I overthink everything, and by eliminating that possibility I tell myself I can make a less stressful choice. I ask for advice when I need it, and most of the times if I do, I follow it. Choices suck, and so I try my hardest not to force myself to make the worse one. So I either think of the least stressful choice, or hope that the water isn't too cold.
Life is an adventure, you have to be sponataneous, you have to be quick on your feet. Take too long to ponder a decision and opportunity slips away. Don't live fast, think fast. Of course be responsible, and avoid the wrong decision if you can. If you make the wrong decision, sure, it can hurt and suck, but if you are anything like me you will just get back up on your feet and learn from it. That is why I stick to my wits; I can't afford not to. I'd rather live and learn than never have lived at all.
Part dos:
ReplyDeleteOur choices determine who we are, but who we are plays a large role in the choices we make. When it comes to making choices I am very quick and decisive, a trait that I myself am not too proud of, but when it comes down to the decisions you make you must be at peace and never look back. When you think of the what ifs you open an entire new door. This door when opened makes you live in the past, you live in a world controlled by what could of happened. When I am confronted with a tough choice I rely solely on instinct, whether my instinct was wrong or right doesn’t matter, what does matter though is that I made my choice and learned from it.
Lucas: Oh my goodness! That's crazy! I'm sorry! I should've read through more before posting mine! I think it's just that great minds think alike.
ReplyDeleteOver the past ten years, I've shifted my clothing style from such stereotypes as prep to ghetto to gothic, or freak, to tomboy and then to, whatever the hell I am now. (By the way, that 'phases of life' list doesn't come anywhere near completion.) Even within the past three and half years, I've altered my life in ways unimagined from the yesterdays and their yestedays. Friendships were born, hearts were broken, and in the midst of it all, I've taken glances in the mirror and have wondered, 'Who the hell are you?' (Not in a negative tone though) My morals, ambitions, and values-- my perspective and entire entity has been morphed by preferences, choice, and the very adversities in life and their following consequences. And ahh, yes, of course, CHANGE.
ReplyDeleteSo, perhaps you could say that I was never one to keep it 'safe'. "Get busy living or get busy dying", right? Life is all about change, and without it, we're merely just existing. If we have never encountered the dark periods in our life, then we would never appreciate those sunny days where the world is your oyster. It's all in the matter of compare and contrast.There's no doubt that it's exhilarating to shake off those dusty cobwebs when life seems flatline stable because it makes you feel as if you're in control of your life, and well, it is your life after-all.
Why wait for 'fate' to just go on and create decent waves in the flow of your life? Shouldn't that be your job? Without change, I feel bored, unchallenged, and lazy. There's nothing more invigorating than getting pushed out of my comfort zone, whether it makes me shake in delirium or whether it makes me as giddy as a preschooler with a crush.
"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."
When it comes to change, I just hope that the changes I encounter will never knock me down. When it comes to change, everyone just wishes to be happy in the end. There's no doubt that it would be awesome to have a successful, rich family, and of course, family always comes first.
Kaitlin H:
ReplyDeleteWell it's okay, because Kyra just did the same thing too. Oh well. I suppose that just means I need to be more creative.
Kristen D.
ReplyDeleteI always feel like I need to be convinced for everything too. I can't stand it when people ignore my questions or change the subject all the time (Lucas!) But on the other hand, I don't think wanting information has anything to do with wanting or not wanting change. If anything, change reveals information and fixes problems due to misinformation. So either way, change is a necessary byproduct of any of our searches for answers.
Dylan M.
Hmm...I feel like you and I think a lot alike. I don't really care one way or the other towards change, and I don't like being given help with any problems or decisions either, except I'm not one to “try and try again” after I screw up. I'm lazy when it comes to work I fail repeatedly at (Calculus, for example), and don't really care about being the primary decision maker in any group situations either (probably why I was mute through most of Project Adventure).
Sarah L.
Addicted to change? If you're longing for change so much, then wouldn't having constant change become routine and thus, there would actually not be any change? Hmm...I smell a paradox. Anyway, I think it's good that you see change the way you say, because too many people, especially today, are afraid of change and without change, there really is no future (or past, for that matter).
Poojah- I like how realistic and down to earth your blog is. Sometimes I feel as though the way I view things is too much in my head. Okay that sounds weird, but I pretty much feel as though I forget to include the types of things you did, such as school and other things we cannot change or make decisions about. You made me realize that!
ReplyDeleteJon W: "Through all of this I have found a way to deal with change, you must accept it...you must embrace it. Everything happens for a reason and you must learn to cope with that truth." I wholeheartedly agree. There is nothing else you can do. You can't always control it, but you can definitely control your reaction to it.
Gwen: "But whenever I do decide to slow down and actually think about what I’m doing, I tend to get very indecisive. I over think wayyyy to much, [ it’s a curse more than a blessing ] and whenever I do that, the decisions that I conclude with usually leave me with a twinge of regret." I feel the same way! That's why I blindly make decisions half of the time. I just think it's so much easier!
Stephanie: "It is the fear of the unknown that drives me to run from change." It is understandable that you flee from change, but doesn't running away create change too? You have to make accommodations to keep away from the change you loathe. How do you deal with that?
ReplyDeleteKyle: "“Change” in general just has no real meaning to me anyway. It's all relative." I see change that way too: paradoxically, it could be said that change does not exist, because change is always occurring, and thus is a constant. Change as a constant? It's a strange idea, but that's how I see it, and I think you see it that way too. But just because you understand change does not mean that you are truly indifferent, does it?
ReplyDeleteChange is the essence of life. Without change, life would not exist. Imagine a world where everything was the changeless. You see the same faces with the same expressions and you do the same things, following the same schedule. Imagine even if nature remained the same; unchanging weather, environments, and the world itself. Evolution would not exist. Would nature still be nature without change? It's actually difficult to imagine this, for me at least. I can visualize such a world, however I can't see there being life in it. It would be almost like a robotic world, completely rid of growth for growth comes with change. I know I took this whole change concept beyond what the question may be asking, but I think most people don't realize the effects of change on the bigger picture. I am neutral towards change, although I beleive it is necessary for the existence of life. Change just happens. It is happening and it always will happen. Even though I do not fear change itself, I find myself thinking more about the results of the changes. Once change happens, there is no turning back around saying "nevermind" because no matter what there will be some kind of evidence of that change left. I think we should acknowledge change, but we shouldn't avoid it because it will undoubtedly happen. We can't expect to know everything, whether it be the past, present or future. We will never know everything. That is why I beleive we shouldn't live life fearing change and the unknown, rather we should use what we know that changes us to strive for more knowledge, experience, and life.
ReplyDeleteAs for making choices, I almost never seek advice from anyone because I feel as if I will know more about the two choices considering the situation I would be in than the other person. I don't really care about the small, banal choice I make everyday. How will my decision on what pair of shoes I wear effect whether or not I go to college, or how will my choice on what I eat for dinner effect whether or not I become an astronaut? When I have significant choices to make, I always weight all of my options and consider the outcomes because I almost open my mind up to looking at things from multiple perspectives. For example, if I had to choose between going to college in the United States or in the United Kingdom, I would instinctively think of the pros and cons of each decision, then I would consider the effect it will have on my family, educational future, career, and lifestyle. When it comes to important choices, I never decide right on the spot because I almost always realize things I was oblivious to once I take the time to consider the decision.
Lucas and Kaitlin: Awh Im sorry! I didn't read yours first! Thats kinda funny thoughh, great minds do think alike =]
ReplyDeletept 2: Whenever I encounter change and all of it's friends, I think of the endless possibilities. I don't search for ways to attack against change; however, I definitely scope out the prospects that would cause me to appreciate change more. In the end, it usually ends up with my plan that never fails, and that is optimism, and staying completely open-minded to what's coming ahead.
ReplyDeleteIn making a choice, I always go with my gut-feelings-- my intuition. There's no doubt that there's that metaphysical energy that pushes you to the choice that you are to make. And then, that's where fate comes in. You see, there's a difference between waiting for fate, and then strolling down the street to meet up with it because there is "nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be".
The following consequences may be dismal and somber, or sublime and solace, or even yet, neutral. No matter what, your cards will wind up lucky in the end, and if not, maybe change the order and your perspective, and you'll see the best in things.
Typically, I dislike change. It scares me way more than it ought to, but I suppose I can blame that on the fact that very few good changes have graced my life. Most of what distresses me is not knowing what will happen. I like predictability, i'm comfortable with predictability, and when I can't predict what comes next I become unnerved. Im just sick of making mistakes. I do that a lot. Everytime decisions must be made I seem to end up being very hurt or very disadvantaged.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, I crave change. I love meeting new people, having new friends, changing my hair or style or even how I speak and write letters. I'm attracted to and envious of spontaneous people and when I'm in such a mood (like I was today in New york City), I have the most fun. I blame my creativity and imagination for this conflict of emotions towards change. My realist, grounded side says "Be Afraid" while my wild and imaginative side says "Bust it Out". Its a rather obnoxious issue I deal with.
Following my irritating mental pattern is my thought process, especially when it comes to making choices. My fearful side likes to err on the side of caution, taking the safe, predictable, and practical route. My wild child side likes to taste new things, make choices based on whims and dreams and little to no logic. The deciding factor in which side wins the battle varries. Its pretty dependent on what the choice is between, my mood that day, my opinion of the topic, and how immediate and vast the affects will be.
Assuming that the topic is basic and harmless, I'll probably go with my wild side. If its a big choice, I stick with logic. However, since I've been drawing the short stick every time I decide on something in my life, I've begun to change my picking process. Logic is necessary, but I'm working on merging my many sides into one fluid and coherent function. Its difficult, but I figure if I can make statistically good choices that are also new and invigorating, my chances of ending in failure will be less, and then change won't scare me so much.
Kyle S~ "All in all though, I'd say if I had to pick a side in the whole change versus non-change thing, I'd be moderately pro-change, just because of things that could only be addressed through change—trial and error deals and such—but that's pretty much it."
ReplyDeleteGood point. I was thinking very personally about change and choices, but they affect the entire world. Where would we be without change? Still chillin in caves and chewing on a leg of some prehistoric dino? I don't know but I'd rather not find out. Without change advancements in medecin wouldn't exist, nor would the technology we have or the laws and opinions of the world.
Change, I’ve always known that it’s inevitable no matter how hard you try to keep things like friends and relationships constant. So, I’ve grown to accept and be excited for change. I’ve learned to adapt. You’re just holding yourself back if you can’t adhere to certain changes.
ReplyDelete“"For those who refuse to change, life will change for you-- and then it is always a more painful experience." - Art Berg
For example, in the movie industry, mainly animation, new programs and techniques are being created every year. You can’t just go, “Oh, hey! I know Photoshop, I’m good to go!” No, you need to learn every menu and techniques in each new program, or else someone will surpass you and keep their job while you get the boot.
I’m a simple little girl who luckily hasn’t had to make any life altering or threatening choices so far, but believe me; I’ve crossed some difficult ones. I feel as if the older I get, the quicker I am to make decisions. I jump right into the ice cold water instead of sticking my tootsies in first. For example, when considering signing up for something, instead of thinking things over for two to three days, I immediately decide to just do it. I was kind of inspired by the movie “Yes Man”. By trying each and every new thing, the man in the movie got to experience so many new places and people, and even fall in love. (Awww…yeah, that was super corny.)
When I go to my art classes in Philly, I often get asked to go around the city on the break. The old me would consider the consequences of this action. “What if we get mugged? What if I lose my wallet? What if I get lost?” Now, I just jump into that icy water and see where exactly my choices take me. It is what it is.
HOWEVER, all of the above examples and statements of choices only have consequences and effects on me and me only. If a choice I was making affected others around me, especially people I hold dear to me, I would definitely take my sweet time listing the pros and cons. (I really do make a pros and cons list if I can’t decide on something.) So, I do rely solely on my wits and fate itself when considering a choice that benefits/hurts me, but when it involves others, I’m more careful. That’s when I slowly walk in the water instead of doing a fancy cannonball. Usually, my go to guys (well, actually they’re all women) are my mother, my sister, and my best friend, Crystal. I go to Crystal and my sister for every worry because I know they will give me honest advice. I like to ask them both because they have different ways of seeing things. My sister, since she’s grown under the same family, will usually always go with the safe choice, but Crystal will usually give me a different view on things. I only really go to my mother unless it’s very important and so emotional that only she can really handle it. I believe it’s important to have other opinions added into your decisions, especially if they’re affecting others besides yourself.
Taylor P:
ReplyDeleteHaha, I like your blog :]. You made me think some more about change. At first, my initial reaction towards change would be frightening, I understand that we’re part of a daily routine and by next year it’ll all be different, things we aren‘t accustomed to. I’m kind of scared for that too but at the same time, excited, I want to explore and experience with new things. Maybe that’s why I feel alright with change.
Alexis B:
“I like moving, I like feeling like I'm growing instead of just staying still.”
I like this point about change. That’s how I felt in the beginning. Yeah I know it’s terrifying, and I’m trying to stay positive, even thought my blog was fairly negative, that one of the effects of changes is growth. I also like when you say Usually, my mind is moving a mile a minute, so when approached with a choice it's, "What do you feel? Do it. Done." I really wish I can just go with my heart, or impulse or whatever it is. I’m just too cautious and doubtful(trying to work on that but not working, ha). It’s good that you rely on yourself because at the end of the day all you have is you.
Manar:
“In that case I don't mind change, but what's scary about change is that it's in the future which is unpredictable.” True that. Especially negative changes, I pray that I don’t end up having to experience one.
Also, (at the college comment), you go girl! You decide whatever’s best for you, not based on what everybody else thinks. Not everybody’s going to private universities or well known colleges… it all depends on what suit’s a person. I admire the pride you take in your actions. Your so passionate and you seem so confident in your blogs.
To me, the nature of change is not the “unknown, the unchartered, the unfamiliar and the unrevealed.” The nature of change is its definition, an alteration. Sometimes there are bad changes. Sometimes there are good changes. Sometimes there are expected changes. Sometimes there are unexpected changes. Sometimes there are scary changes. Sometimes there are amusing changes. Change is not a scary proposition as it is only scary when it is bad change. And if the change is in fact bad, I close the door to change, but if the change is good, I welcome it. I like good change and I dislike bad change. Good change will bring an array of positive influences in my life, but bad change will bring a range of negative influences in my life. Given this, the question is not whether I like or dislike change, but rather, what is good change and what is bad change. Good change, to me, is change that will bring me happiness. While some change will obviously bring me happiness, like a sudden income of one million dollars or the news that the budget is not getting cut, others will not be so obvious—say for example, going to college.
ReplyDeleteAt this very moment, I fear college. I don’t want to go to college because I’m perfectly happy with my life now, and at college, I may no longer be perfectly happy. Given my fear of college, it is plausible to think that college is a bad change and therefore I do not like my life to change for college. While this is the case, I know that college will bring me happiness in the future and so, I am appreciate the going-to-college change.
As you can see, even though I don’t really want to go to college, I chose to go because I know it will make me happy in the future. I make the majority of my decisions based on whether they will make me happy. Like my situation with change, some choices will obviously make me happy and other choices will not be so obvious. What makes me happy can vary from day to day and so, when I make choices, especially those that have significant impacts, I must weigh out all the pros and cons. If there are more pros, then the reason that deciding with the choice will make me happy, but if there are more cons, then I reason that deciding against the choice will make me happy. Unfortunately, I do not always have the time to consider all the pros and cons. Given circumstances that require an immediate decision, rely on my wits and dive into my decision and hope that the water isn’t too cold. If I’m lucky, then I will swim around, but if I’m unlucky I’ll drown.
Bella-
ReplyDelete“There's nothing more invigorating than getting pushed out of my comfort zone, whether it makes me shake in delirium or whether it makes me as giddy as a preschooler with a crush.”
I really admire your optimism and enthusiasm towards change. Your unique diction and passionate tone made you seem as though you are absolutely fearless, which is definitely inspiring in itself. You made several valid points about change, especially when you mentioned that without change, we just exist. Change is what keeps life going, keeps life invigorating, and basically keeps us living. You mention in your last paragraph that you hope these changes won’t knock you down. See, that’s why I’m not fearless. I’m eager for change, but in the back of my mind I’m scared to death. I know some sort of change will knock me down. But, as true professionals, we get back up and grow off these changes. We become better people. It’s just another obstacle course in the crazy train of life. Once we get through these crazy changes, then that rich and successful family is just a yard away.
Kyle S.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how much I tell you I hate you in the library, I really don't. I admire your reasonings and speculations, and you never come off as too sententious, or arrogant. There's no doubt that there all sorts of change-- there's quarters, and pennies... (Making terrible jokes are so much better in the library than via bunje blog, hahaha). No but seriously, I agree on that note, change is unique. Even our very concepts of change are extraordinary! Without further adieu, your thoughts are always provoking and well-said. Bravo, you nappy headed hoe.<3
Taylor Teh-Pay-Palm
Ahhh, how I always enjoy reading your posts. I can just feel your mere prescense with your frequent cute eye-rolling and hand-gestures; however, I was surprised to see your unwelcoming letter to change. You, Miss Rebellion, do NOT enjoy change? In the beginning of the year at least, you were thrilled with what seemed new to you: the sneaking out, the lying to parents, the good-girl-gone-bad image. You seem like such an adventurous, bubbly girl! Why not enjoy change as it is? (Not necessarily advocating the good-girl-gone-bad thing, but I know you've simmered down anyways, but I'm just sidenoting. Okay, this sidenote is too long. Lol. Unicorns.)
JV (The Pharaoh)
... Did you just mention Sex and the City? Oh, how I love you! Coming from an aspiring fashion mogul, I wasn't surprised that you were one to appreciate change. However, your blog-post was still nonetheless fascinating.
Alix - "When it comes down to it, there is one main cause for my NEED for change. Boredom. I absolutely hate being bored."
ReplyDeleteExactly! That's why I think it's important to constantly meet and befriend new people because each person is unique and has a lot to offer. It keeps things interesting!
Paola - "As much as I love change, I love my mom’s advice. Since, I seem to be quite indecisive at times, my mom has always been there to help me out. Her nonbiased, honest advice leaves me secure in what I should do, because she doesn’t just tell me yes or no, she pushes me… motivates me to make the decision, to make the change on my own"
Honesty is important when seeking advice. I feel that your mom is exactly like my mom, and tells me what's what, and most importantly, why. I find it sad that some people don't have a parent like that to go to, someone who they can always get a good answer from. Honestly though, you can only find moms like ours if you're Italian though. ;)
JV - " I think the most obvious one is the changes in technology like with the iPods and cell phones. Things like that I just can’t keep my hands off of. I’m just amused at everything that’s different. I guess I like diversity…or I just have A.D.D. and I like shiny objects."
It's the second one. JUST KIDDING! HAWHAWHAW.
I'm glad you mentioned technology because it's a really important example to show just how much our society wants change. If we add one thing to an ipod, we immediately think ahead to what else we can put on it to improve it. The majority of our world and society will never be satisfied, and I'm glad for that
KTG-
ReplyDeleteI also admire your couragousness to face change with no fear. Relating change to your biggest passion--animation--was pretty witty, and it seemed clear to me your comformatableness with change and choices. However, I'm like the old you. When I'm with my friends, and we're doing something outrageous, I'm ALWAYS the one saying, "What if it doesn't work out?" or "What if we get in trouble." I'm simply that naggy second guesser. haha. I want to be the one who jumps into a cold pool without hesitation. I need to change. Change is what I make it to be. But you're absolutely right when you state how the older you get, the faster you make decisions. I feel the exact same way! I'm now taking more risks without second guessing. It's kind of invigorating, but at the same time, terrifying.
Sarah L- "I believe that love is completely inaccessible without heartbreak and pain. Happiness is impossible without sadness. Success is unobtainable without failure and mistakes. Without darkness, how would we understand light?"
ReplyDeleteAlong with all of your other blogs, I love this one.I especially loved this part of your blog because I beleive in the same idea. I beleive we can only fully understand and experience the best moments of life if we have experienced and known the worst.
It's like how we will never know what is good without knowing what is evil
Lucas- Wow, I honestly didn't read anyones blog posts before I wrote mine. I'm surprised at how similarly some of us think. I think your blog was very well said, a hundred times better than mine. We agreed on a lot of things, which I didn't really expect. But your last sentence, "I just have to hope that my reaction is the right one." I really liked because I didnt get a chance to go into this in my blog. I think it's vital that we hope rather than plan and predict. Not knowing the future and the outcomes of changes and choices, people dont really think about hope. Fear is always nagging at them. So I think that just hoping that what you're doing is the right thing is the best anyone can do.
Kaitlin (K8)-
ReplyDelete"Don’t get me wrong, sometimes normalcy is exactly what I want, but sometimes change is what I need."
I feel as though normalcy IS change. Change, as you mentioned, is inevitable. It practically happens all the same, but I don't think we truly are consious of that unless it's some devastating or dramatic occurence that alters our "normalcy". Change, ultimately, is normal.
Okay, okay, anyways, I'm getting off topic. As for your general blog, I fully agreed. I liked how you mentioned becoming spontaneous. I'm trying that out, as well. I mean, we're going to be seniors next year, so why not live it up? Why not take those risks and step out of the comfort zone? As for me, it's a bit hard to instantly become spontaneous, but it's definitely the change I NEED. But, like you, it's difficult. I'm not the person to "put themselves out there". Well, at times I can be. But, you'd be surprised at how shy I am on the inside. ;)
KTG
ReplyDeleteI like your view on change. It’s appeals to one of the greatest traits that I admire, adaptation. But there is a problem. What happens when the change is not inevitable? What do you do when you don’t have to accept change? Do you accept it when you don’t have to or do you simply always accept it?
I also like your input on choices and how you take more time to decide when other people are involved. This shows that you are considerate, which is another trait that I admire.
Alex V
Given that you are torn between liking and disliking change, which side are you drawn to most? Which side of you speaks the loudest?
“Assuming that the topic is basic and harmless, I'll probably go with my wild side. If its a big choice, I stick with logic.” Although you want to change your decision process, I actually like your old decision process a lot. I find the old process to bring in a load of fun without bringing in any serious consequences. Heck, I like it so much that I might even adapt it—really.
Maryam R
“Imagine a world where everything was the changeless.” Well, I did, and I didn’t like it. Given that, you just, in a sentence, changed my perspective on change. Because of you, I now absolutely appreciate change because life without it would not be life at all. I don’t think you took the question beyond what it is asking. What you did is answer it with your own perspective—the perspective of the bigger picture. As for your words on decision, I find that I also agree with them, but then again, I think that many other would too.
Bella- I really enjoyed reading your blog. It kind of made me think differently about the question because although your anwers were different they were about the same things as I mentioned in my blog. I found this quote a few months ago, and I thought maybe you'd like it because your blog reminded me of it. "To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly." :)
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, change is a natural part of life and in no way different from any other “adversity” that someone must face. Now, not all change is bad, such as a promotion or relationship with someone you have admired for a long time. But some change, such as a harsh laying off or the loss of a close one, can pose as adversity in the life of an individual. In this sense, change is an uncontrollable phenomenon that is part of living life.
ReplyDeleteI have no qualms with change for the most part. Change makes life exciting, spontaneous, and at times difficult. If this change is good, then certainly I have no fear of the change. I am excited to go to college and experience new things and meet a plethora of new people. I am excited to be able to pursue a passion of mine and immerse myself in a totally fresh environment. For me, this change will be good. Negative change, such as the loss of a loved one, while not an occurrence that I look forward to, is something I know I will have to deal with and adapt to. I think that the overcoming of this “negative change” can truly help a person grow and develop in a way few other things can. So overall, I neither yearn for change nor lock my door in fear of it. I welcome change, and know both sides of it, knowing full well that I will either benefit from the change or develop myself through this change.
My choices are almost always thought through. I rarely “act on impulse” or make a decision I know is wrong or against the way I have chosen to live. If I am posed with a serious choice, such as what career to pursue, I take all of the time necessary for me to deem my choice “the right one”. I weigh in my choices and choose the one that I believe is correct. When I am posed with a minor choice such as whether or not to drink alcohol or do drugs, I act according to my own set of values and beliefs. I try to think through every decision, being the best person I can be. This may sound overly idealistic or conceited, but it is simply the way I try to live. Sure, I may make a few mistakes or act on impulse on a few occasions, but for the most part, this is the way IO try to live.
I rarely, if ever, seek the advice of others. The way another person thinks is not the way I think; I don’t like to let the views of others skew my own views and choices. Take peer pressure, my friend may be trying to convince me that getting high just this once is a good idea, but I will never take their advice, I will not compromise my beliefs for the idiotic beliefs of others. I may ask for the advice of others on small matters, but in the back of my mind, I have already made my decision.
Steve- I can relate to feeling like you had to get out of your old school. Our graduating classes were both microscopic compared to our class at the Oak, and had a lot less people who were different. “Sudden and dramatic change can teach us everything we need to know about ourselves, if we let it.” I love this line. It’s eloquent, concise, and so true! You especially have changed a lot (for the better) since I first met you. I’m really proud of you for that. I don’t think I’ve ever told you, but you inspire me a lot by how hard you work, how much you’ve pushed yourself, and how much you’ve embraced new things. I can’t wait to see what amazing things you do once you get out of the Oak.
ReplyDeleteDeanna: I agreed with many points of your post, including your indifference to change. I also agree that one's attraction or fear of change cannot be measured. No one openly welcomes negative change, and no one openly shuns positive change. Chaneg is all based on perspective and is a relative factor.
ReplyDeleteBella: I admire your optimism and ability to look at any subject in a positive light. However, you sounded a bit contradictory in your post. I was confused by your sudden praise of fate and your descriptions of how it can be a good thing in relation to change.
Kyle: I completely agree with you that all change is relative and should be judged, or dealt with, on an individual basis. People that claim they enjoy change are making a sweeping generalization that is foolish at best. I enjoyed your dry humor you incorporated into your example and the clarity it provided. I agreed with almost every point in your post and like the way you worded your opinions.
Bella Ella
ReplyDelete"There's no doubt that there all sorts of change-- there's quarters, and pennies..." I laughed out...quietly.