From its opening passages, one of the premises of Their Eyes Were Watching God is that there are inherent differences (beyond the physical) between the ways in which men and women experience the world.
In your experience, is this true?
Why or why not?
What have you seen, heard, read, and/or experienced that makes you think as you do?
Who has it easier? Explain.
Would you want to trade places, even for a small amount of time with the opposite sex? If so, what would you want to know (school appropriate, please!)? If not, why?
(450 words/65pts)
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According to neurologists, the way that men and women think are inherently different, which would provide the premise for a completely different outlook on life between men and women. The difference in relationships with other people that arise from gender further support the concept that women and men are completely different in how they experience the world. But then again, men and women are still both human, so they can’t be too different… or can they? As an observant male/boy/guy/man, I know that the way that I’m treated by others is vastly different from how I would be treated if I were a woman.
ReplyDeleteIn America, as in most cultures, men are expected to assert a dominant role in relationships, and to be stronger and more able-bodied than a woman, and if they are not, it is a disappointment. I don’t look very strong to other men, and so I am treated as an inferior much of the time by men who are larger than I am, but when I prove myself in terms of strength, they treat me distinctly differently, with more respect than they had before. This is just one good example of the expectations of a man in America. The expectations of me shape how I view other people, and since the expectations of a women and man are different, the viewpoints between these two genders must be different as well.
Now culturally speaking, I think that men and women have just as difficult a time living up to their expectations and just living. But physically, men have it better off, since the task of rearing offspring is not their burden to bear. I would rather be a man than a woman, because it seems to me that men are more emotionally stable, something that I value very highly, but it would not be beyond me to be curious as to what it would be like to be a woman, in terms of wanting to know from experience what is expected of them.
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ReplyDeleteMen and women experience the world similarly in the sense that they are expected to see it differently. Let me clear this up. Men are expected to live life as “tough men.” On the other hand, women are supposed to be submissive and obey the commands of men. Men are dominant. They have to be tough. They can’t cry. Women have to be gentle. They must have emotions. Men are supposed to see sports as the greatest thing ever created. Women are supposed to not understand the complexities of sports. Because of the standards expected by society, men and women must experience the world differently. Men are entangled in the world of sports while women spend their time strolling through the shops at the mall. Although men and women live their lives differently, this isn’t to say that they don’t go through similar experiences. They both eventually experience love, heartbreak, struggles, misfortune, and hopefully happiness, but their roads to these experiences must have some differences.
ReplyDeleteBoys must walk around, all macho. On the other hand, girls must act like they’re sweet and innocent. It’s just expected. I’m not saying that this makes it easier for either gender. Not all boys are tough. I’m sure most feel the need to cry at times, but they must suck it up because they are expected to act like “men.” However, girls are allowed to express their feelings, which I’m sure allows for a much needed release at times that boys “aren’t allowed” to have. But girls can’t be “butch.” They have to be “girly.” They must enjoy shopping, have strong emotions, and enjoy watching “chick flicks.” Some girls just want to go out there and play football. Some girls like mud. But they must spend unnecessary time shaving their legs, applying makeup, and doing their hair, whether they like to or not because it’s expected.
Men and women must both conform into what society expects of them. They experience the world differently as a result of their own actions because they must. If these standards didn’t exist, I strongly believe that men and women could experience the world similarly. There’s always genetic makeup that serves as a small bump that makes experiences tougher or easier depending on the gender, but that’s only one small limitation.
As for me, I’d love to trade places with a male for just one day, or maybe a week. I would just like to experience the standard of men. What is it like to “act cool” at all times, with a laid back attitude? What is it like to get hit and have to suck it up? What is it like to act tough even when you just want to break down? I’d love to experience the world through the eyes of a man. Experiencing society’s expectations of men could also greatly alter my perspective of the world as a woman.
Robert: I actually agree with you on most of what you have said. Guys are supposed to be macho and if they do not look it, they do not get the respect the deserve. However, once they have proved themselves, everything is normal again. I do not actually agree with how that is alright with people, you know? But hey, who can change it?
ReplyDeleteKaitlin H: Man are expected to be macho and never cry and Girls are expected to be girly and emotional. I hate that though. I would also love to trade places with a man though, just to see what the differences are between how I am supposed to act and how they are supposed to act. I love how yours was written. Had a compare and contrast in every sentence it was straight to the point!
Of course men and women experience different things. It doesn’t matter what you are, each single person experiences something that others don’t. Some experiences may be similar but it’s how the person reacts to it is what sets the differences. Maybe that’s what the question should be. Do men and women react differently to certain experiences? But then, it all leads to that cycle again of everyone being their own person.
ReplyDeleteTruly, I’m avoiding giving you a straightforward answer to this. I honestly don’t think there’s a difference in what men and women experience. In fact, I don’t care at all if there’s been studies or tests proven because, you know what? We can’t prove anything. One can not search every single person’s emotions. Doing so would create a stereotype that will be imbedded in our brains. A stereotype that will not be erased from our generation and beyond.
From personal experience, I’ve seen more of the female’s side. I’ve lived with women most of my life. I’ve never had a father figure in my life that lead me to that stereotype we’ve created. I think that’s why I’ve rebelled from that stereotype of sports and machismo. I’ve become more accustomed to the things that my mother liked. I’m a momma’s boy. I’ll admit it. If you haven’t gotten it by now, she’s the one that I really depend on. She taught me everything and I have no problem at all admitting that. Look at me now, I’m a well-dressed, well-behaved, polite, young man. I’ve got no complaints.
Men have it easier because we’ve already been given the upper hand in the battle of life. From the dawn of time, we’ve recognize the male organism more dominant than women. Men are offered more opportunities in careers, let’s face it. We’re trying to advance women so that they’d be right there with men, but I think right now, men are still at the upper hand. Also, let’s be honest here. Fellas, you know that you guys are happy we don’t have to go through childbirth, monthly visits from mother nature, and the uncontrollable mood swings that both give women. Let’s take it easy on the ladies and say that they really do have much more things to deal with than us, not to mention dealing with, well, men.
Would I ever consider trading places? No. Never. Two reasons. One, I’m stubborn and would always love to say that I am myself and I would never want to change anything about me. Two, I’m around girls way too much to realize how hard it is to be them. They have to do so much to fit in, specially with teenage girls. It’s amazing how they can survive through the judgmental and superficial world that we live in. Have you ever seen Mean Girls?
Men and women definitely have differences in the way they can experience the same thing in a different way. In Their Eyes Were Watching God the women and men had to go through different hardships. Janie went through her life trying to find love, and her experience in the world was different than the way the men were always looking for a girl with money or something that they were missing in their life. The men usually didn't marry for love.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Kaitlin said on how men are supposed to act big and tough because of how society expects them to be. On the other hand, women are supposed to be sweet and loving without a tough bone in their body. When either a man or woman acts out of how they're expected, for example a girl plays football, people think they are different or weird. Because of this, girls have to spend time looking nice and doing girly things in fear of being different. Growing up, I've been surrounded by boys and was exposed to sports. The girls in my grade thought it was weird that I knew how to throw a perfect spiral with a football while they didn't even know what a quarterback was.
I don't think either men or women have it any easier/harder than the other. It must be really hard for males to hold in their emotions all of the time and not be able to talk about feelings. Also, if a boy has a sensitive side in them then other boys will pick on them. Girls have it difficult too, in the sense that they aren't able to be themselves and like things that aren't pink or fluffy. If a girl wants to go all out in gym and have a good time, they can't because they're afraid that other girls might think they're weird and boy-ish.
I think that every boy and every girl should trade places with the opposite sex for a day. Then, boys would stop saying how easy girls have it in every thing like sports and friends. Boys think that girls sports aren't as physical as their sports when in reality they're just as much. They also think that we have it easier with friends because we can “talk about our feelings with each other.” Sometimes, talking about feelings is a bad idea because the truth comes out, word spreads, and drama happens. When girls fight, it's a HUGE deal and the whole school is usually in on it. When boys fight, they just say whatever and becomes friends again. But it still sucks that they can't talk about how they feel with each other, so that almost evens it out. Neither group has it harder or easier than the other.
JV GONZALESSS- So right after I posted mine I went to read yours and it made me like want to change the paragraph I wrote about how men and women have it like the same! Now I think we have it harder because of what you said with the drama and the guys and fitting in. So true... and the reference to Mean Girls just says it all!
ReplyDeleteKAITLIN- I definately agree with you how boys should be macho and girls should be sweet and innocent. It's soo true in every situation. In sports, boys are supposed to be really extreme and fight and stuff but for girls we're not even supposed to be good at sports in the first place!
ReplyDeleteBoys and Girls, they’re without question, two completely different branches of human. From the way they walk, to the way they talk, from their build, to their hair. It’s just hard to find something in common in our attitudes; especially our attitudes towards experiences, and how we handle them.
ReplyDeleteFor example: When boys are angry with they each other, they just fight. No talking or apologizing and trying to compromise, just fighting. Sometimes they fight for fun! We all know how that one ends. When I’m around my friends, I tell them I love them and if we’re fighting, we don’t rest till its resolved and we learned from our mistakes. They way boys and girls handle situations and fights are outrageously different!
As I get more guy friends I see the way they act around each other. If a guy likes a girl, boys think it’s funny to call the girl by the boy’s name. Boys text each other and say “yo what’s up pussy?” and they plan things like “fight night”. If they’re playing a video game, they fight if someone wins and they loose. It’s all very competitive with boys, and the way they retaliate is much too violent, if you ask me.
But as a girl, I see the way we act. We call each other “bitch” and “hoe”. But we’re also not as much competitive as we are jealous. We talk about each other behind each other’s back and were very dramatic. But when we do fight with each other, we just fix it without all the mess. Half the time there is a legit fight between girls, it’s over a boy.
Also, if anything tragic happens, girls are expected to get emotional, and boys have to act tough; just like with sad movies, or injuries, or anything that a girl would cry over. Boys have to be tough, and girls are emotional. If a boy ever cried, all that would happen is they would get made fun of, a girl cries and everyone is comforting and asks what is wrong.
This all started back in the day, when women just stayed home and cooked and made babies, while the men did the “hard work” and brought home the bacon. It’s hard for women to get away from that stereotype and to be respected. But thankfully we’re stepping up. Yes, men are just naturally tougher, quicker and bigger then girls. And yes, girls are emotional, fragile, and sensitive. But with all that creates a balance. What if when something sad happened, no one cried? Or what if everyone cried? What if you were arguing and you just hit each other?
We all have our way of handling things, boys are different than girls and girls are different than boys. Either way it goes, it only matters that you get through the experience. Without the way we handle things, things wouldn’t get handled. There is always a happy ending, and if it isn’t happy, then it must not be the end.
“So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day.” Oh The Notebook. Cutest movie in the world? I think so and most girls would agree with me. But what about the boys…?
ReplyDeleteMost people would say, ok, but what does one movie and people’s reactions have to do with the inherent differences between men and women? Everything. Guys are programmed to hate The Notebook. It’s sappy, it has emotions and worst of all it shows a man who cares more about a relationship than the girl does. Men are supposed to be macho and gorgeous and not show any emotions. While girls are supposed to be emotional and listen to men, because clearly our only role is getting married and having children. We see the world differently because we have to. We all confessed last week that we need to belong, well this is how, we follow our stereotyped lives, no questions asked.
When it all boils down, girls and guys all want the same exact things. We want to be accepted, we want people to love us, we want friends, etc. We just go about it in different fashions. Take relationships for example, guys have to be a softy while still a bad boy and girls need to be pretty and laugh at their jokes.
Since the dawn of man…someone decided to make some rule book that gives the code for how men and women have to act. What?! Seriously, I wish guys were supposed to do ballet, yeah and I wish that a girls’ place was in the garage and not the kitchen. I wish a girl could hook up with someone and not be called a slut while a guy would be called a hero. I wish that a girl could be feisty and stand up for herself to man without being called a bitch. But no, because this almighty Rule Book dictates our lives and anyone who decides to pull a Farenheit 451 and burn that, well they are destined for a much tougher life. So follow the rules and follow them perfectly…or else.
So who has it easier? Boys, boys, boys hands down. Girls: we need to be pretty at every second, we have to have babies and gain 30 pounds to do so, we are blessed by Mother Nature each month, and for all we do men still get the upper hand in most situations. Boys have to like sports and be funny? Real hard and even if you do not fulfill these, you can make do. Girls don’t make do, we just have to deal.
I like being girl, it’s harder, but I’d rather have some challenges than have it easy just because of my gender. So I don’t need to know what a guy goes through, I’m sure it’d be interesting but I think it’s probably better that I don’t know what goes through a guy’s head every three seconds. It’s probably something gross I don’t want to know.
Clearly men and women have a different view on the world. I mean even each person has a different view on the world. So wouldn’t it make sense that women and men saw different things if they both encountered the same experience? Of course it makes sense. For example, a fight has occurred between a man and a woman. Women are usually more emotional about the encounter. They are a little dramatic and may exaggerate just for effect. When they tell the story, every detail is included along with a full side of emotion and maybe a glass of tears. Men have a fight and that is it. They may feel some emotion about it but they do not at all show it. It would not be very manly of them if they did. If they do, however, tell their buddies of the event, it is straight to the point with no side conversations.
ReplyDeleteIt is about 50% true that men and women experience different things. The only reason why it is half true is because men do have emotions and a hard time with things like women, however, they are not really allowed to show it. It is hard to really evaluate something when you do not have the full view of both sides. For this reason, I would love to be a male for a few days, a week, or even a month, just to see what it is like in their shoes. I could ignorantly say that woman have it harder due to reasons x, y, and z but that would not be true. It would really only be half the story.
If I could be a man for a day, I would want to know the amount of pressure they have on them when they do things. I already know the pressure women have when they walk around school or play sports but I want to see a different side. I would want to know if men actually care about what women think they care about. In all, I would want to know if how I view men is actually the real thing or a complete lie to myself. But, altogether, I do not think men or women have it easier than the other sex. I know we both have our struggles and wars to get through but the way we get through them is the only difference.
Megan: I love how you described things and I love how you wrote out your whole blog but I would have to completely disagree with you. Men and women are not as different as you think. Most of my friends are guys, yes, but it does not mean I have more insite on them. Please do not take it that way. I just think that by watching some of my guys friends around some guys and than watching them when they can really let loose shows me that Men can be sweethearts on the inside. They do not all call each other names just to be buddy buddy but more so to fit in with the other guys because that is sort of a "guy" thing to do. I hope that makes sense
ReplyDeleteMegan: To what you said about how boys and girls handle their problems, I agree. Boys think that fighting is the answer. They’re usually pretty up front about it, trying to act tough, which is a perfect example of their macho attitude. However, girls tend to act fake and talk behind each other’s backs, which doesn’t really solve anything. I think this is why boys are easier to work with in many situations. You always know their opinion which can allow them to create true friendships while with girls, a lot of friendships are fake. The types of friendships you create can definitely make your life experiences different.
ReplyDeleteTaylor: I’m glad you brought up the fact that girls are sluts and bitches while guys are heroes and well, not bitches. This is something that really bothers me. How is it right that a girl who gets with two guys can be looked down on as trashy, but a guy can get with twenty girls and be praised like he’s a god? This is something that I will never understand and will never agree with, ever.
Stephanie: I agree with your point that all men and women have their struggles that they need to get through which makes them a lot the same. Although their struggles may be different or approached from a different perspective, in the end, they’re most of the time the same struggles whether they deal with sports, school, friends, or love. This makes their experiences similar in many ways, however seen and carried out from different angles.
Taylor- I think that your blog was hilarious and how you attacked boys!! Everything you said about boys was dead on. Its funny because in a way your totally right that we have some " Rule Book" that dictates what you are allowed to do according to our gender. I feel like their are a lot of guys who would own up to liking " The Notebook" if stereotypes of gender didnt play a huge significance in society!
ReplyDeleteI honestly don’t know what to respond with for this. I don’t know if any of us do; I say this because it is now Wednesday and there is only 13 comments. Maybe everyone decided to try and scare Ms. Bunje and wait for the last minute to post their comment but, I don’t know, I can honestly say I am speechless.
ReplyDeleteI guess yes it’s my fault for waiting for the last day to read this so now I can’t ask for help but even though, this is a tough one. The way I see it is how could, I, as a male, compare how a female would experience the world to how a male would? I have no clue how they experience the world and even if I tried I would never fully understand because I am not a female myself.
In which case I can say that, yes men and woman do experience the world differently. In my experiences as a male I have noticed that men are looked as superior to the woman, as if they are stronger or even smarter. For example, relating to men being stronger, a couple weeks ago my sister and I were walking back into our house. As we did so my neighbor, from across the court, had stop us to ask me if I could bring in a box of grocery’s in his trunk, of his car, into his house. At the time I was in a rush to get inside to look at something, that I said I couldn’t but, that my sister could help him. He quickly responded with “Oh no, the box is way too heavy for her to carry” I had told him that my sister is fairly strong and had carried heavy bags of grocery’s before, that she could handle it. He kept insisting that I would do it, until I just walk off into my house, in which case my sister had then went to go “attempt” to lift the box. When she got back inside the house I had asked her if the box was heavy at all and she said “No it was like lifting a bag full of bread.” Men have always dominated since the beginning of time. Even though woman have the same equal rights as a man they are still looked at, not from all people, but a good number, as I said before, superior.
As for who has it better, as I hate to say this, and I don’t say this to be bios or sexes, but hands done men do. Unfortunately, I wish I didn’t have to say that men have it better because everyone should be treated the same way and for the most part they are. However, there are situation where a manager of any franchise would choose a man or a woman simply because he THINKS that the man is better qualified then the woman; when in any case, the woman might actually be better. If could switch sides with a woman, I can honestly say I would. Not for the reason the some people would think, but, I can sit here and type to you how a woman is treated in this world compared to a man, but if I have experienced it this really all means nothing. I have no actual paradigm to off they feel inside to all this.
I hope I made sense to what I was trying to get across and that I answered the questions correctly. This is just how I seen it in my head when I read the post.
Taylor- Also the one line where you wrote " Boys, Boys, Boys reminded me of the lady gaga song!! Sorry really random but I thought I would bring it up!
ReplyDeleteTaylor: I like the way you put things in your blog. From the simple things, like how guys can't like the notebook, to the bible and your rant about babies and T.O.M. Also the hook up reference was a nice touch.
ReplyDeleteKaitlin: Your blog kind of inspired mine. Like the whole macho bit and boys having to act like that. It led me conclude how right you are and how much most guys act like that.
Stephanie: I agree with what you're saying in response to mine, some guys are sweet and kind, but mostly because they have to be, because they're in a relationship or want to hit and quit. I mean don't get me wrong, there are the charmers and the cute boys who actually care about girls and about their friends. I'm not totally dissing boys, I have seen some very sweet ones and they're the ones who I love and I'm friends with. But it's just what I observe.
Taylor
ReplyDeleteAs a male I hate to admit this but, you are totally right. Men are look as the dominate person in everything. This has been an issue for the woman “since the dawn of time” Although there is this issue, not all men believe they are more dominant or superior to females. At least, I don’t; I can’t tell you that I haven’t seen the Notebook but, by your explanation of what it’s all about I want to go see it now. Maybe this might have no meaning, considering it’s coming from a gay man. However, I know there are straight men out there that feel the same way to. Although there are men that might feel the way I do it would still not change the fact the by the majority of the people in the world females are less superior then men are, at least in the eyes of the men.
Part 1
ReplyDeleteMen and women since the birth of man have always experienced the world differently than Women; also since the birth women have been fighting for their equality. From King Jenga an African women who felt she was just as strong, forceful, and brace as any man; to Susan B Anthony who felt she was “man” enough to serve her prison sentence. Depending upon the culture in which you are referring to women have had a different role to play than men in society. Men and women are also have very different outlooks on life, and have a different way of going about things.
The most prevalent difference that separates men from women is their thought patterns women have a different way of doing things than men do. For instance women are much more likely than men to put aside their differences to achieve a common goal. Whereas men are more than likely to be dragged into a who’s penis is bigger contest, or who has the biggest muscles. For instance during geometry last year we were split into teams to form a construct out of straws and tape. The tallest building won the contest. There were many teams in the classroom but there was an all girls team and an all boys team. The girls worked together nicely to form a really tall construct unordinary it didn’t stay erect, although they communicated well with each other and got it done. The all boy team however argued for the majority of the time over how they were going to go about constructing their towers.
Another major difference as far as personality traits goes women are much more likely to men to act on their emotions and not think about the consequences, especially concerning relationships with men. Women are much more caddy and vindictive than men by nature. They are also much more willing to old a grudge. For example while I was working as a lifeguard this summer one of my friends and coworkers found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. She knew that he was having a party where there would most likely be under aged drinking. She called the cops on her boyfriend’s party.
Part 2
ReplyDeleteAs far as gender roles go we have not evolved as far as we would like to think in the last two-hundred years. Men and women both have expectations placed on them by society that dictate what type of “boy” or “girl” you are. For example Men have sex for sport to see who can do it with more virgins and are praised for it. The more “V-cards” you have the better. Although women if they have sex too many times with different people they are called whores. Then men are expected to play the more dominant role in the relationship and if he doesn’t he’s considered whipped.
I do not necessarily believe one gender as it easier or harder than other. Depending upon the situation men may have it easier than women or vice versa, but overall I don’t think one has a harder time than the other.
If I be a girl for, weirdly enough, the think I would want to experience most is, their menstrual period. I would want to see if it’s really as bad as women say it is. I would also want to know how it feels to be pressured to make certain physical changes just to be accepted by society, like shaving.
Comments
ReplyDeleteRobert F- I like the point you make in your blog about men being more emotionally stable than women. I think women are much more likely than men to make a fast decision without considering the variables or consequences.
JV- I completely agree when you say that it doesn’t matter wither or not men and women experience the world differently and that if they do it can’t be proven. Although do you honestly think today that women are as oppressed as they once were? Look around you AP classes do you see more boys or girls.
Megan S - I love your introduction. But I disagree with you when you say boys just fight when they have problems each other I think we are more likely to let things go and move on than women are.
TPalm,
ReplyDeleteI was definitely thinking the same thing about the "Rule Book" thing. I always wondered why everything's like what it is now. But you know what though, I bet you it's similar but not exactly the same in other countries. I think, in fact, that even though Americans are viewed liberal, there are many more countries who destroy those stereotypes found in this book. The more avant garde European countries such as France probably has walls that are lower than those of the American's. Back to my point, I do agree though that we need to destroy this rule book. It's one of the many social rules books that need to be destroyed.
“Mr. Wonderful”, “Prince Charming”, “The Girl of Your Dreams”, and “The Perfect Woman”, everyone has heard these tossed around, but try asking someone to define them. They will become instantly dumbfounded. The standards genders must live up to are vague at best, and impossible at worst. Men and women wander through life, yearning for the mirage of perfection that’s always just out of grasp. However they are bound to face different lives, yearnings, and mirages. I have discovered that you can never truly understand something that you are too close to. If you love someone, your views of them will always be biased. If you are in a situation or a place, you cannot see it accurately. Men and women constantly meet and interact. Therefore their opinions and views of each other can never be trusted. There is an ancient eastern story of blind men and an elephant. Each of the men touches a different part of the elephant. One touches a leg, another the tail, and so on. Each describes what an elephant is like by his experience. Of course every description is different, but all of the men are telling the truth. However no individual’s perception of the elephant is really like the elephant at all.
ReplyDeleteWhen you add society’s expectations and the extreme difference’s in individuals’ views, the product is hazy and indefinable. The common associations of macho, tough, dominant, and unemotional with men and sensitive, dainty, moody, and servile with women seem to make sense on a larger scale. However once individuals are examined, all bets are off. Some men naturally fall into the passive giver position in relationships, while some women find themselves taking charge and dealing with rough situations. The lines become even more blurred when homosexuals, effeminate men, tough athletic girls, and countless others are considered. There is no genuine or quintessential male or female experience. It has never existed, nor do I believe it ever will. This has never been a war between two teams, but instead a confused struggle of countless scattered masses. No one ever really figures out where they fit in, but we all try to anyway.
I am not trying to distract anyone from the simple fact that there are naturally undeniable differences between men and women that run much deeper than the physical. Men tend to find success through their careers and through meeting standards like gaining a family. Women tend to view true love as essential to an ideal life, and are generally expected to sacrifice their careers and sometimes even live through or behind their husbands. Men hide their emotions, but are upfront about their problems and often deal with them with open aggression. Women rely too heavily on emotions, gossip, and create drama. These have become basic assumptions or even common sense to many people. Logically the differences between men and women have to leave them with different lifestyles. However I refuse to believe that these and other generalizations are the entire story . . . Or elephant.
Let me start off by saying that even though I'm a boy I love to shop, I hate sports, and I'll cry whenever I feel the urge.
ReplyDeleteThe science behind gender differences is seriously flawed. Most of the studies people cite when supporting the view that boys and girls are born total opposites had inadequate samples, were prone to researcher bias, and have not been replicated. The fact is gender differences start out as small, barely noticeable traits in babies and as children grow older they are praised by their parents for fitting into the archetype of their gender. Those small traits become significant personality characteristics because boys are trained not to cry and girls are trained to play with dolls. This shows that even in the "modern age" we still hold to our stereotypes about each gender. That being said each sex is going to experience things differently because of what society expects from them. Take for example the last Presidential election. Hilary Clinton was scrutinized constantly for the amount of emotion she showed. First she wasn't emotional enough for a "normal woman" then she was too emotional because she was seen crying. The whole thing was ridiculous! None of the men running were ever criticized for their show of emotion.
Women still have it harder than men. Yes, we have made a lot of progress but discrimination still happens. Its going to take a very long time for society to get over ideas that have been around for so long. No matter what anyone says men unfortunately still get advantages in the work place, whether its seeking a job or the wage gap. Socially men can get away with things that women can't. I remember talking in Mr. Costal's class last year about how teenage boys are almost expected to have sex, but when girls do the same things they're considered sluts. I can't speak from experience because I'm not a girl but from what I've heard girls have a much harder time being themselves than boys. Its not fair and I hate it. I wish everyone could be their own individual.
I would never want to trade sexes. I understand how hard it is to be a girl without having to actually be one. I definitely think girls go through more drama and gossip, am I right? The things girls go through in high school seem so hard, its so much to handle!
I wish we, as in people, could get over our stereotypes about the genders. They only create an unfair world. The biggest inhibitor of progress is that most people, even those who reject stereotypes, make judgments about the sexes without realizing it. The best place to start change is within yourself. We all need to start really examining the things we think and say, and consider if its true or just a product of society's belief in gender differences.
Touche Zakiy touche,
ReplyDeleteI do agree that women are not as oppressed as they used to be. If anything, now a days, they're given more opportunity in things like finding jobs and colleges. I do think though that no matter how much opportunity the world gives, things will be different on how they react upon it and their pursuit of succeeding with careers and life.
Before I start mine, I'd just like to point out that I'm pretty sure that there has been a Mean Girls reference somewhere in each question's responses. :]
ReplyDeleteJoey,
ReplyDeleteIt's not Wednesday yet! Haha. You freaked me out in your second sentence. :P
Meg Sherm- You're so right about the emotional thing like if boys cry they get made fun of and stuff and if a girl cries they're the center of attention (in sort of a good way). Also like what you said about how guys are way too violent, I 100% agree. Most of them fight over nothing and try to act tough for no reason. But there are a select few good boys out there!
ReplyDeleteTaylor- I agreed with probably everything youy had to say in your blog. It was very upfront, you didn't shy away from any touchy subjects, and overall your voice was very, very evident. I've always contemplated over "The Notebook" and how mostly all girls completely love it, while boys stick their tongues out with the thought of it. Stereotypes have made this so-called "rule book" which mankind has followed "since the dawn of man". It's just the way it goes. However, I do believe that everyone, whether boy or girl, don't have many differences, per say. Like you said, boys and girls go by it with different fashions. I like how you explained that.
ReplyDeleteHannah- I agree with your last paragraph! I've never been a guy, and thus I don't really know first hand how guys live day by day. Guys, likewise, don't really know the mindset of girls, either. Fitting into the other sex's shoes one day will finally reveal to society to true and distinct emotional/mental similarities and differences between men and women. Too bad that isn't physically possible. Oh well!
ReplyDeleteStephen,
ReplyDeleteI think making a reference to Clinton during the election was perfect for this. It made me think about how much other things she had to deal with other than what a male candidate would have to go through. It's weird cause people probably saw her as a target and used her being a woman as one of their bullets. That shows one way of how we still oppress women to certain extents.
Haha! It happened again! I glanced at Stephen W's blog and the first thing it said was "even though I'm a boy", and I thought it was Stephanie W! The name similarity is confusing me!!
ReplyDeleteMy instant reaction to this question is a line from a song by Linkin Park: “Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe; sometimes I need you to stay away from me.” I’ve been battling with this question internally for such a long time, and already just by going through some of the postings I’m extremely offended and put-off. So, I’m going to be completely honest and start off by saying this topic is really something I don’t want to talk about. The emotional differences in experiences between men and women have haunted and taunted me for such a long time, that my view on this is extremely, extremely personal. I’ve cried so much wondering why the burden of sex is a woman’s to bear, why men view daughters and sisters protectively, but any “hot” girl is fair game. I genuinely hate society. It’s probably the only thing I can say without a doubt that I loathe. It makes me feel inadequate, worthless. But some things are best left unsaid…just forgive me Ms. Bunje for keeping my distance on this one.
ReplyDeleteThere’s no doubt in my mind that men and women experience the world differently, partly because they have such a strong, peculiar hold on each other. I don’t think it’s rocket science. It’s just in our nature. Take for instance, the concept of a compliment. When men are complimented, it increases their confidence. Simple enough. The more desirable they supposedly are to women, the more praised they become within their guy circle. When women are complimented, their confidence increases, but for a different reason. One thing I hate is that most girls judge themselves on how attractive men find them. This leads to the whole cattiness issue: as soon as a woman sees a flaw in another, she exploits it to make herself seem more desirable to men. Guys play off of that, and so on. AKA, a cycle of stupidity. It’s not that men and women necessarily think so much differently, its that they seem to have equal and opposite reactions that keeps them together. (Unless you’re Stephen Wright and simply surpass everyone :] ) Thus, it’s more about reaction to situations. I don’t want to create stereotypes though, this is all just from observation. I know that when I’m complimented, I’m hurt. If I’m being judged on my looks, it means my personality, my talent, my intelligence -- all the things I work so hard on -- are being ignored.
Next, men always and probably always will have it easier. It’s not because they’re better . I honestly believe most men are morons. And this is where the problems arise. Generically speaking, men are morons, and women let them be morons. There’s that cycle of stupidity again. The worse thing is women tend to dumb themselves down just to meet a man’s standards, which are often irrational and not worth it. But this constant worrying about meeting those standards, “is my make up good enough?” “does my hair look okay?” etc, is what makes it harder for women. Unless a particular woman is strong enough to realize her worth. Unless. But again, generally speaking, this odd cycle of how the two genders experience the world forces both to play roles that complement each other in all the worse ways.
And no, never would I ever want to be a man, not even for a few fleeting moments. I’ve spent fifteen years of my life hating myself for being a girl, hating men for making me hate me, and hating myself even more for letting it all affect me. I just started to realize the value of my own soul. Screw idiots. I’m Kale Nagasaki. I rock the world in a way that only can be done by me, and I’m very, very proud of that. I’m exactly who I want to be. Switching places with a man would only delay me on my conquest.
Lastly, in no way do I mean to offend anyone reading this. I’m sorry; this is just a very personal topic. I hate thinking about how men and women are. That only brought me depression in the past, and only brings anger now. I’d rather just focus on me,. The woman, the revolutionary, the drop-dead amazing Kale Nagasaki.
Thank you for reading.
This is a question out to everyone.
ReplyDeleteWhat other thing other than crying and being emotional, or playing sports and being macho are there to being a guy and a girl? I've been wondering that as I read everyone's blog. I want to like pin point something else because it seems as if we're all going around in circles?
Robert F: In no way do I think it is fair to say men are more stable than women. That is making a vast generalization that has no grounds. From your experience maybe you might find this true, but I know for a fact that I have more sense than any and every guy I know. Another thing, you mentioned expectations. I believe they do have a lot to do with the thought processes of males and females, but I don’t think that’s something you should focus on. No one else’s expectations matter but yours. I don’t try to be pretty: I never wear make-up, I do what I want, and to hell to any man who finds a problem with that. As for you, don’t worry about trying to “man-up.” Just be who you want to be.
ReplyDeleteJV: Have I told you that I love you? I’m glad you really appreciate the differences in genders but not to the point where it’s condescending. Out of all the men I know, I do find you the most masculine. That may be a surprise, but I do. You’re confidence and attitude make all the stereotypes of the world seem nothing more than gossip. I feel more powerful around you too. It’s funny how we said we wouldn’t want to change places for the same reason. We like who we are, and appreciate what we aren’t. I really enjoyed reading your blog JV and I hope you write more like this. But honestly, I haven’t seen Mean Girls, so stop referencing it!
Tpalm: I absolutely agree with everything you said. No, I don’t like the notebook and have no interest in ever seeing it, but the point is it’s the individual’s choice. This Rule Book you speak of, psh, I rejected that from the second I was aware of its existence. You’re a strong woman definitely and I’m glad you’re so aware of what the world is like. I’ve learned something from reading your blog and I’m really glad you wrote it. Being a girl is definitely harder, but I think that’s what makes us strong enough to not only deal with but also triumph in life. And for the boys who choose to break the cycle, it makes life all the more worthwhile.
I haven't written my post yet, and probably will shortly, but...
ReplyDeleteDeanna N:
Please don't go through life thinking that every man is a moron. Recently, I've realized just how many people think that way, and to some extent, it is true. A lot of men behave very stupidly. However, not everyone is like that, and it certainly is not a genetic deficiency. I happen to be a nice guy. Although I've actually been hurt a few times, I hate hurting other people. I go out of my way to try and keep the peace. I'm by no means a normal guy, and my motivations and thoughts are completely different than most people's thoughts. I don't want to use up a lot of my points before I actually post, but... just keep in mind that not every guy behaves like that.
Without a doubt,men and women experience things differently. There is really no point in writing that since we all know that it is true. Sometimes I believe that girls and guys think the same way about certain things though. The only difference is that guys can't let anyone else know they are thinking that way unless they want to be ridiculed. And just in reading some blogs, I feel bad for many men. I don't think that men should be judged based on what other men or like. It's not fair because all people are different.
ReplyDeleteIt's very obvious that it's harder for girls when it comes to pregnancy. The girl has to be the one that's pregnant, the one to gain weight, and primarily, take care of the child, not to mention the pain. However, I think that men have it generally harder. Although I am a girl, I feel as if when something goes wrong in a relationship, most people say it's the guy's fault just because. I don't think it's fair to judge so quickly. It could be anyone's fault, but the fact that most people assume it is the male is why they have it harder.
I also think that everyone needs someone they can relate to. When it comes to girls, they hopefully all have a best friend that they can lean to when they need advice. I feel as if men don't necessarily have the same advantage. Talking about "feelings" is something many guys try to avoid, but I think that they really want someone to relate to.
I guess if I were going to be a guy, that's what I would want to figure out: What they think about talking about the things that bother them. That's really it.
Deanna: I mean nothing offensive by this at all, I promise. I think you are a strong, wonderful girl, and I know you are very independent. I don't think, however, that it is fair to judge all men. I'm sure, from your experiences, it is all true, but there are plenty of men who aren't morons. I feel as if you take compliments the wrong way sometimes. I feel as if when someone says to you "You are very smart," you don't want to just be the "smart girl." But when they compliment you on your looks, you think that your achievements aren't noticed. I think that with many guys, they are just genuinely being nice by giving a compliment. It shouldn't be taken as an insult, and it by no means that your achievements have gone unrecognized.
ReplyDeleteI also want to stand up for a lot of girls. I do my hair, and my make-up when I want to, but I don't judge myself on what guys think. Sure, it's very nice to hear a compliment, but that doesn't mean I do it for men. Though many people don't believe, "I do it for myself," I do. I like to look nice sometimes, for myself, not to impress other people.
I know that this is a very sensitive and personal blog to you, but I would just like you to consider that so many people break the stereotypes.
There are different ways in which men and women experience the world. That is without question. However, it is not entirely genetic. As John B. Watson, a famous psychologist, once said, “Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in and I'll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to become any type of specialist I might select–doctor, lawyer, artist–regardless of his talents, penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations and race of his ancestors". People are not born happy, or sad, or hateful, or pigheaded, or reserved, or loud. We are all born with tendencies, sure. I was born with tendencies to be musically gifted and to love talking to people. However, my experiences made me change to some degree. How we are raised ultimately dictates how we act in every situation.
ReplyDeleteMen and women view the world differently. Why? Gender stereotypes have survived because of parenting. My parents from a very early age instilled in me different beliefs than most people. I am by no means pigheaded. I am not a jerk. I do not wish to exploit girls. When I’m in a relationship with someone, I value the closeness and friendship more than anything else (I don’t want to talk about relationships any more than that). If I’m a strange guy for having emotions and being rather needy at times, that’s okay with me. It’s who I am. I’m actually a very emotional person (ask the few that I’ve actually opened up to), and I’ve had to hide it a lot because of gender stereotypes. I don’t want to be ridiculed by my peers. If I have a few people I can talk to about things, then I can make it through the rest of it without showing much.
Neither gender has it easier. As long as we are subjected to things like gender roles, both genders will be oppressed to some degree. Like it or not, everyone wants to belong, and it’s hard to belong when you’re radically different than everyone else. People can argue that men have it easier, but in all honesty, does it really even matter? We are born a certain gender. We have to live with it. That gender does not dictate who we are. People do that. Birth does not make a person a jerk. Bad parenting, bad friends, and bad influences make people jerks. I am a believer that even someone like Hitler was good at heart. The way we are raised makes us who we are. I’m lucky I have the parents that I have, and that I understand how stupid most guys are. But just because most guys are stupid doesn’t mean they all are. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t believe that I am stupid.
I don’t think I would want to trade places with the opposite sex. What does it really matter? Why in the world would I want to experience the immense social pressure girls are put through? I think I am fine as myself. I like who I am, and I don’t think I would want to change it. Men are not jerks. Some are. I am not. I hate broad generalizations. That’s basically all I have to say. Even in the darkest of night, there are still shining stars. It’s up to everyone to find those stars amidst the sea of darkness that is humanity. Was this off topic?
Taylor: I agree with like 90 precent of what you say. Girls are judged so much more when it comes to being a slut, or being pretty, or feisty. I know exactly what you mean. But i disagree that boys have it easier. I think that girls have it harder when it comes to physical things like the monthly gift, being pretty, pregnant.. etc. But emotionally, I think guys have it way harder.
ReplyDeleteNow that I think about it, I wonder how I would look as a man.. hahah.. anyway
ReplyDeleteJV: I respect you so much. I love talking to you in chemistry and I appreciate your individuality. I love that you don't care about what other guys or really anyone thinks about you. I think that guys like you are the ones finally break the stereotype of a typical guy. I wish everyone could show individuality, but it's hard.
Learning Theory explains most, if not all, behavior. Those of you who take AP Psych (hopefully) remember this from over the summer. Operant conditioning is part of this theory. It is learning in response to consequences. In terms of attitudes and beliefs regarding social roles, if your peers endorse your expression of an attitude, that attitude is reinforced. On the other hand, disagreement with your expressed attitude is a form of punishment that may eventually weaken your viewpoint.
ReplyDeleteObviously, there are physiological differences between men and women, but I’m hoping that you paid attention in health class so that I don’t have to go over all of these. While hormonal differences do influence behavior to an extent, I do not believe that these variances change the way that a person experiences the world. I strongly disagree with the idea that there are natural differences between genders that affect a person’s experience of the world.
The reason that people like to think that there is a difference in the experience of the world is because of a contrast in behaviors between genders. This difference in behavior is due to an acceptance of stereotypes regarding gender roles. Before a mother even pops her baby out, she begins perpetuating stereotypes. How many of us girls had pink rooms? How many guys had blue rooms? Society increasingly encourages these stereotypes as time passes, primarily through operant conditioning. When I was younger and would go to McDonald’s I would always ask for the Hot Wheels racecar over the “My Little Pony” toy or the Barbie doll. Over and over again, I heard that the cars were for boys and the dolls were for girls. I wanted to stay a girl more than I wanted the Hot Wheels racecar, so I would almost always change my mind. My younger brother has experienced roughly the same thing, but with the toy choice reversed. The thing is, boys don’t like racecars more than girls do, and girls don’t like dolls more than boys do, but we are constantly taught that boys like racecars (and along with these, anything tough, fast, and hard-hitting) and that girls like dolls (and along with these, anything delicate, refined, or “girly”). Any move towards the opposite is quickly shot down like an in-season duck. The more opposition of the bastioned stereotype is shot down, the weaker the attitude of opposition becomes. However, agreement with stereotypical gender roles is exalted, therefore strengthening attitudes in favor of these roles.
The “Hot Wheels or Barbie?” trend is witnessed in everything from color choices to sex lives. Boys like blue. Girls like pink. Boys who take time caring for their appearance are “metro.” Girls who take time on their appearance are simply fulfilling their duties. Boys who have sex are tigers. Girls who have sex are sluts. Boys who lift weights are macho. Girls who lift weights are lesbians. Skinny boys are wimps. Skinny girls are beautiful. Boys with emotions are gay. Girls with emotions are, well, girls. I could go on and on, but you’ve already had these forced upon you, so why repeat something already ingrained in your brains?
Based on the social ideals etched into our heads, it seems that neither gender has it easier than the other does. Sure, it is hard feeling ugly because I do not weigh 90 pounds but it has to be hard from a person’s perspective when someone calls him a girl because he lacks the physical strength possessed by the group of “ideal” men. I get to express my emotions without being a “pussy” and a male can have strong opinions without being a “bitch.” All vantage points considered, men and women lead lives of similar difficulty levels.
Despite no difference in level of difficulty of being either gender, the areas of hardship for each gender clearly differs. That said, I would definitely want to trade places with the opposite sex, but only long enough to get a first-hand evaluation of the hardships of being a male, and of course to experience relief from the hardships of being a female.
Jourdan: Thank you for bringing Psych into all this. I wanted to, but I really didn't feel like it. It's not easy to explain. But things like this are why I want to be a psychologist.
ReplyDeleteThere is no denying that men and women experience the world differently. When asked to picture a typical man and a typical woman, it is inevitable that we all generally picture the same thing: a clueless confident man, a clever obedient woman. And men and woman experiences different things on simply that: people's perception on what a man and woman should be like. Now, I'm not saying that all men are clueless and confident and women are all clever and obedient, so let me explain. Society today has created an image and certain standards that we are all expected to fit into. Men are seen as "strong". They are "macho", they are "the providers". When something unfortunate happens, it's inevitable that most men, although they might react to it in a more sensitive way, are expected to "man up" and either take the situation into their own hands or just ignore and push through it. Women on the other hand, are seen as delicate, sensitive creatures. When unfortunate things happen to women, they are expected to break down and try to calmly fix things, recover and move on. When first meeting a man or a woman, they are judged inevitably on their looks. The men are supposed to be muscular and are all expected to look like gods, the women are the same way. Women are expected to have that perfect body type that superstars on television have, and if you don't, you're instantly just not good enough. And because looks are so important, men are expected to care about working out, women are expected to care about make up and dieting. Because of the standards and the images we're all supposed to fit in created by the current society, men and women experience the world differently depending on how they should experience things, not always necessarily how they want to. I have witnessed this probably a thousand times. I've watched guys, even though they want to break down and cry, just hold in emotion because they're expected to and it breaks my heart every day. I've seen girls break down over being judged in their appearance, let it consume them, despite the fact they are naturally beautiful and have a personality anyone could envy.
ReplyDeleteHonestly? I believe both have it equally hard. Guys have to deal with being judged by girls just as much as girls have to deal with being judged by guys, we all have to battle with being just the right amount of sensitive or butch.
I would want to switch places, just for a little while, but that's just me, I'm usually attracted to looking at things in a new perspective. But I would want to come back to being a girl. If I had a choice, I would want to be a woman. Though I probably would make a good guy knowing the woman point of view, I would never permanently want to be one. I like being a woman way too much.
Jourdan- Wow, what you wrote was both extremely well thought out and inspirational. I agree, behavior is the main factor that splits off the division. And yes, these behaviors are caused by those awful and repetitive stereotypes. You really have a great grasp on Psychology. I don't take it this year, so I don't know every little detail. But you thoroughly explained your concept simply. And I, as well, wish to trade places with the opposite sex, as I mentioned to Hannah. Again I say, that will never happen, but we can only imagine what the other side deals with.
ReplyDeleteZakiy - "Another major difference as far as personality traits goes women are much more likely to men to act on their emotions and not think about the consequences, especially concerning relationships with men."
ReplyDeleteOk, I can understand where your coming from, but I have to disagree. Everyone acts on their emotions, even boys, what do you think they’re acting on when they get into a fight? Maybe you meant girls are more emotional? If so, I’d say we just show it more. When it comes to consequences, I think guys actually don’t think it through more than girls. Guys go and beat up their best friend for whatever reason, do you really think they thought that one through? Girls on the other hand, we’re devious, we really are. If we’re in a fight, we plan out every detail of how to win and we know what each thing will do. In relationships, when we do the keep going back to someone even though it’s wrong (which guys do as well) we know it’s wrong, we just don’t want to admit that we know. But don’t think that decision wasn’t thought through, it was, for hours upon hours.
Sarah L- "The standards genders must live up to are vague at best, and impossible at worst."
First off, you writing is ridiculous, in a good way! It’s so eloquent and flowy. I’m quite jealous, I’m not going to lie. But anywho, the defining gender traits and rules are vague, but we have to know them. As I mentioned the Rule Book, we don’t actually have a hard copy, it’s just a file embedded in the back of our brains like “the girl code” or “man law.” I seriously think we should all get together as a class and publish a he said/she said book on this topic, maybe then we would all know exactly how to fit in with this society. Until then…=/
Deanna- "Take for instance, the concept of a compliment. When men are complimented, it increases their confidence. Simple enough. The more desirable they supposedly are to women, the more praised they become within their guy circle. When women are complimented, their confidence increases, but for a different reason. One thing I hate is that most girls judge themselves on how attractive men find them."
You are so right. Girls can have their best friend tell them they have pretty _____, but it won’t mean a thing until a boy tells that to them. And who is giving the lovely confidence to the boys? Other boys, that’s who. Guys get their “this actually means something” compliments from their friends, not girls. So basically, guys run the world when it comes to people feeling good about themselves. Sigh. I love society and the way boys control it.
Robby Forney- "I would rather be a man than a woman, because it seems to me that men are more emotionally stable, something that I value very highly"
I first off want to say, your blog is very factual and you clearly took some time to validate your arguments. However, this whole stable thing…you had to know this would spark something among the girls. Some girls may wear their heart on their sleeves and express their feelings a tad bit more, but that in no way classifies us as unstable. Think about it, wouldn’t a man burying his true feelings inside because he’s not supposed to express them be a factor in making him unstable? I’m not saying you guys are, but you want to argue that were unstable, than there are a thousand arguments to reverse that. This is all because everyone, no matter the gender has feelings, the same ones, it’s just a matter of what they do with them
Society is the force that drives men and women to experience or be perceived in a certain light differ. Like the townspeople in “Their Eyes are Watching God” society sits in judgment, anticipating any change in the typical male and female persona and wants that happens they jump on it throwing out derogatory comments because it doesn’t fit the mold of stereotypes instilled to a male or female.
ReplyDeleteIn society men on the exterior are perceived and molded as strong, confident, emotionless, lack of style, and sports fanatic individuals. Women on the exterior are perceived and molded as emotional, compassionate, motherly, respectable, individuals who are often seen as the weaker link. Men and women have similar experiences they encounter in life, the reason for their experience to differ is because of what I mentioned earlier society’s gender bias.
For instance, both a male and female are interested in joining the army after high school. Both when enlisting in the army would love to experience the prime action of the front line. Its totally acceptable for a male to work on the front line because like I said men are supposed to be “strong. Once a woman professes that she has a desire to work the front line she has to work twice as hard to prove she is strong enough. Even though she is stronger and works harder than the majority of men on her squad society sets the precedent that women are weaker, so it’s a longer road for her to ever see a glimpse of the front line. Society also conveys that woman should dress femininely and look their best, if they don’t society frowns upon them often referring to them as “slobs.” It seems when men’s dress code define the word slob, its commonly acceptable , for a guy to have a mismatching outfit then one that actually matches. If a guy dresses nice he experience the attributes that he is a “pretty boy and a sissy.” What I find funny, is when most guys think it is cool to dress like a slob, most girls find it appalling and favor when a guy has a style sense and smells good. If women aren’t married or already a mother before the age of thirty they are seen, as cold, undesirable and out of time. For men who are bachelors at the age of thirty they are seen as “smart and lucky.” It just seems like any situation that a man or woman are put in society sets the precedent for the approach a male or female should act during that experience. In my heart of hearts society does push experiences for males and females to differ but truly we all different people experiencing things differently.
From all my examples I have gave it’s pretty clear that I believe that men have it easier. I am not alluding that is not hard to be a man but it’s definitely less complicated than a woman’s life. I know the whole woman’s right thing but I still believe that men are put on a pedestal and it’s easier for them to prove themselves because they are seen in this “Almighty God, “aspect. Men can also rock out a beer belly as for woman if they gain ten pounds they are looked at being “lazy’ and often are advised to start “Weight Watchers.”It may be hard for a guy to fit in but it’s ten times harder for a girl to make friends and find her place in girl world. Majority of girls are constantly judging you from the minute they meet you. Some girls will like you on some days and other days they will attack you emotionally and verbally or will simply talk behind your back. For most girls in society they never really know who their true friends are.
I would never want to be a boy, not for a second, minute or a day. The only aspect that I desire from men is their natural running ability and their body type for a runner because it’s hard to run with womanly assets. I love being girl even though we do have it harder; I wouldn’t have it any other way! Besides, I love wearing colorful flowery skirts and dresses!!!
Oh and to Brynne, haha that wasn't random, the lady gaga song was exactly what I was thinking of when I wrote it.
ReplyDeleteTaylor: First off, guys don't compliment other guys. It's usually seen as weird to be like "hey, Jeff, you have pretty eyes". You know? So that didn't really make sense. Second, if you mean performance wise, that still doesn't matter too much, at least to me. I'd value a compliment from a girl more than from a guy any day. Maybe I just don't know what you meant?
ReplyDeleteLOL!! Yeah, I was like that is tooo cute :)
ReplyDeleteLucas- You really emphasized the fact that guys arent jerks, I am glad you said that because most girls go around believing every guy they meet is a jerk! Anyways, I totally get that you are emotional person but I believe that every guy is emotional in a sense, some guys just seem to have a better grip on how to hide their emotions.
ReplyDeleteLukey- Of course guys don't go and say stuff like that to each other, it's against the "rules." But think like this, a guy goes out with a good looking girl. It's not the girl boosting his ego, it's his friends who are like "Yeahhhhhh, nice going." While other girls who tell that to other girls are like "Yeah whatever he's cute", but her boyfriend telling her how pretty she is gives her the confidence. Make more sense?
ReplyDeleteTaylor: That makes sooooo much sense. I thought about it at first and was like hmmm okay. But now that you put it like that, you're right.
ReplyDeleteJourdan- I love your blog!!! I love that Hot - Wheel or Barbie line it was so insighful and so unbelieveably true to the tee. I understand your viewpoint of how you believe that both sexes have it hard and I totally agree but I still feel that men have it a tad bit easier. I just think that your blog was soo insightful and gives a great overview on how boys and girls are perceived!!
ReplyDeleteTaylor: I make no sense. Am I really that much different? Like I said before, I don't care what other guys think. I value someone I'm in a relationship with because they make me genuinely happy. Is that really all that weird?
ReplyDeleteShMegan:
ReplyDeleteI don’t think you give boys enough credit. Although more physical fights are between boys than between girls, the majority of boys are not as quick to raise their fists as you say. Most boys have never and will never get into a fistfight to settle differences.
Additionally, it’s impossible to measure the number of indirect fights that are way too common among girls, not to say that they don’t occur among guys as well. Most of the time, these fights leave behind a mess much more difficult to clean. In about a week, the bruises from a physical fight heal, but oftentimes, the damage sustained from name-calling and the likes leaves nasty scars.
Lucas:
ReplyDeleteI love the Psych reference to John Watson!
But what i really like is your emphasis on the fact there is a considerable amount of guys who transcend the stereotypes of gender. I know we've had this conversation before, but the things that make you normal, like your non-jerk-facedness and your intelligence, are the things that make you "weird" as well. I think I finally figured out what i was trying to get at in Psych when I told you that. You don't fit the male stereotype, and by normal, I meant more along the lines of how we all WANT people to act.
Jourdan: Well, thank you, I guess. I could never see myself being "normal". And I'm sure you know all my stories already, so you probably know more than most people. But thanks.
ReplyDeleteFrom “men don’t cry” to “women are meant to be pretty and elegant”, each sex is bombarded with social pressures demanding that they fit a sort of gender mold. Women, for example are expected to be motherly, the caretakers of a family. This way of thinking is evident (and perhaps encouraged by) media through programs like John and Kate Plus Eight, where Kate, even pre-divorce has always appeared to be scurrying around like a mother hen after her large brood. Men, on the other hand are expected to be protectors and “bread bringers”. Additionally, society expects males to be tough, while women are allowed to be more emotionally expressive.
ReplyDeleteSociety judges men and women based on such gender models. For example, one day a year or two ago I had gone to the theater to watch a movie. Though I don’t remember exactly what movie it was, it must’ve been a sad one because I can vividly recall that a young man in the row in front of me quietly sobbing about half way through. I remember feeling really bad for him, not because he was crying but because a few rude people around him were snickering and making cruel comments. Most Americans expect men to be emotionally strong. The moviegoers recognized the poor guy in front of me as an anomaly and expressed this sentiment through snide remarks.
It’s not just other people who judge men and women based on gender standards. Though some may claim exception, almost everyone judges themselves using such standards, as well. As discussed in last week’s blog, most humans desire to “fit in”. Because of this, men and women feel that they must adhere to the socially accepted model for their respective sex. Therefore, men and women tend to judge their own actions and form their view of right and wrong behavior (“a woman should care for her family, she shouldn’t abandon her kids”…) based on gender standards. The man at the movie theater, for example, was most likely aware that it is not “socially acceptable” for men to be overly emotional and therefore felt somewhat guilty for his perfectly human display of unhappiness. This tendency to base judgments—made both about the self and other members of society—on the accepted gender models leads both men and women to experience the world around them through a veil of gender-based expectations.
If I had to pick whether men or women have an easier time, I’d say that men do. This is only because women have suffered more dramatically through history because of gender bias. While gender-based views like “men shouldn’t cry” may be unfair, untrue, and annoying, the ideas that men should be macho and head the household have hardly held back their gender as a whole. Women, however, went for centuries without things that most people take for granted, such as the right to vote or to even receive an education. In fact, women were for years viewed as the intellectually inferior sex and held little power over the patriarchs of society. Why? There are many explanations, but one glaring cause is that society held that a woman’s place is in the home. Because women were traditionally viewed as weak and in need of providing for (by men), they did not achieve many of the liberties all enjoy in modern America until more recent years. But honestly, it’s hardly fair to say that one sex has it easier nowadays than the other because each has their own unique set of gender-biases with which to contend.
On a lighter note, if I could trade places with a guy—temporarily—I’d love to do so. I think it would be enlightening to view the world through a man’s eyes and to better understand what motivates my male counterparts. I’d want to pick a guy to swap places with who fits the stereotypical male mold of being a walking automotive/sports/home-depot gadget/et cetera dictionary. Honestly, I’d enjoy temporarily possessing the knowledge of such elusive concepts.
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ReplyDeleteKaitlin -
ReplyDeleteHah I completely agree with your entire post. It's definitely all about standards and image, and even if we don't mean to, majority end up conforming to it in some way. Like, even girls that don't try to impress guys through their looks probably still think about it constantly and even guys that say they don't care about letting out emotion probably try to keep their emotion on the downlow. Hah it is so compeletely unfair.
Deanna -
Although I understand where you're coming from completely (after the many, many discussions we've had about this) it always worried me how negatively you feel about both men and women, because I know that although you come off as a predominent hater of men, you really believe in equality in the grand scheme of things. I don't want to tell you you're wrong, and I don't want to tell you you're overreacting, all I want to say is that through any kind of anger or frustration you feel, don't lose faith in either side of the human race.
Kristen -
I agree with you, on both the points about pregnancy and guy friends. I remember my freshman year, I met Blake Carlton and Tommy Fischer, and they flat out told me they were best friends. And I thought that was beautiful. It was beautiful to see they actually admit that without a care, but then Tommy moved and Blake never spoke about him ever again and I didn't understand why he wasn't sad about it at all. I didn't expect tears or anything, but just a little more emotion you know? And sometimes guys are usually assumed as the stupid ones that messed up in getting a girl pregnant and people often forget that decisions like those are mutual between girl and guy. It's still his fault, but not entirely.
yeah I know exactly what you mean Alexis. Like obviously Blake had to be hurt, but he wasn't going to show it. And I wish that all guys had the confidence to do that.
ReplyDeleteLucas-
ReplyDeleteI found your nature vs. nurture sort of perspective intriguing. While I personally think that there is much more to gender stereotypes to parenting (media… school and other social environments…), I like where you’re coming from. I agree that how we are raised definitely dictates how we view the world around us and the gender stereotypes (or lack thereof) we form. I’m glad to hear that you’re okay with being an emotional guy—even if some view emotional expression as “unmanly”, it’s important to be yourself and not let others keep you down. :)
Deanna:
ReplyDeleteNot all men are morons. I think that maybe you simply expect men to be morons people see what they expect to see. It sounds like you interpret compliments from guys as ignorant of your intelligence and value because you expect men to be ignorant of your personality, talents, and intelligence. A man complimenting you on your looks is not judging you solely on your looks. Judgements are composed of multiple facets of the person being judged, even though a compliment may bring attention to just one of these facets.
Deanna-
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a cycle of stupidity… I never really thought about it that way, but women trying to impress guys then attacking each other for flaws in their methods of impressing guys and then guys coming in and screwing things up even more is such an icky, messy cycle that it sums up society perfectly. One thing that bothered me about your post, though, is when you said: “I know that when I’m complimented, I’m hurt. If I’m being judged on my looks, it means my personality, my talent, my intelligence -- all the things I work so hard on -- are being ignored”. I understand that there’s more to you than appearance and perhaps you’d rather know that people notice your amazing drawing skills, ability figure out what the heck to do in a chem. problem we were never taught how to deal with, et cetera. But please, if I told you that your hair was pretty today or something of the like, I would honestly mean it. I’m wouldn’t be purposely ignoring the other things that make you the awesome person you are, I’d just be focusing on that bit of you that stood out at the moment.
Taylor - I agree when you say women show their emotions more than men I should have clarified. I feel women think about the outcome of their descisions but they're not trying to obtain peace, women are trying to hurt the other person as much as possible. They're trying to do whatever it is they know will hurt their opponent the most. When boys fight after the fight the problem is over who ever wins is right. I made that point when I said men will get dragged into a "who's penis is bigger contest." women are not after peace or an end to the fight they want the other person to suffer.
ReplyDeleteLucas I read your post and immediately agreed. I being raised by women for the majority of my life have a few female tendencies, rolling my eyes probably being the most prevalent. Although you should not care about being ridiculed by your peers for being in touch with your emotions. I was listening to the "Kiss Me" song while i was writing my blog. I do not give two squirts of duck shit wether or not anybody has anything to say about it.
ReplyDeleteKaitlin H: I like what you said in response to Taylor's post: a girl can get with two guys and be labeled a slut while a guy can get with twenty girls and have no problem. That's a major problem with the double standard for men and women: not long ago I kissed a girl on the cheek and she told me the next day "thanks, you made me a slut." This just should not be.
ReplyDeleteI THINK ya'll should read this
ReplyDeletehttp://niniane.org/people.html
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ReplyDeleteI posted this already but made a big mistake that seemed self-contradictory, and I don't want to confuse anything. Diana: I don't think that all women are emotionally unstable, just that it seems that most women tend to break down and lose rationality with relative frequency, but that's probably just the subject of their environment - it is what is expected of them. I think that strength and stability comes from maturity, not gender or age.
ReplyDeleteTaylor P.: Yeah, I did think that it would spark something with the girls, which is part of why I said it that way. I really want to know how everyone feels about this. But at the same time, I don't want to say what I think... I'd hate to misspeak on such an important topic.
ReplyDeleteI read a minute ago, someone was commenting on how when a guy hangs out with a girl other guys are like 'nice catch', and I was reminded of how embarassing that is for me. I go with it, of course, but really, I'm sitting with a girl, and someone wants a fist bump because I scored a hottie, and I don't think that way about women. They aren't a commodity or a goal, they're people, and equals.
I value my female company just as much as my male company, and there's no reason that men and women should be discriminated for tendencies of one gender or the other. Many men are built, many women are comparatively frail - but case by case, it doesn't matter. The bar should be set just as high for men and women.
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ReplyDeleteZakiy -- I somewhat agree and disagree. I believe for the most part woman act on emotion and don't think of the opposite genders reaction, especially when it comes to dating/love (if it's real) etc. I think that men are underestimated when it comes to emotion. I think that everybody can experience the same amount of emotion. On another note, this isn't exactly true for everybody, I personally think about every reaction in every situation, I am more emotional than the average person but I still think rationally and take full responsibility for my actions.
ReplyDeleteRobert -- I'm in love with the way you portray woman. It feels so great to actually know that at least one man in this world thinks I'm a person. I think that I personally expect a lot from a male, I was raised to believe that men should always play a dominant role in any type of situation.
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I don't agree with is that men are more emotionally stable then woman. I for sure know that I am more emotionally stable then most of the men I know.
Taylor -- I disagree with you, I believe that we have it equally as hard as males it's just that all of the situations are presented differently. Then again I do believe that woman feel like they have to meet this social expectation of looking "pretty" and smelling nice. I think men feel as if they have to look good but we don't exactly care as much as they do about how the opposite sex looks.
ReplyDeleteJourdan
ReplyDeleteMy blog response said almost the same thing. Gender differences at birth are VERY minimal! Most boys at the age of three would still like to play with dolls, but they're soon trained that boys don't do that sort of thing. Its all about operant conditioning, not genetics. Everyone should look at this http://www.newsweek.com/id/214834 Its an article I read in Newsweek a few weeks ago, and it fits in perfectly with this blog topic.
Deanna
ReplyDeleteYou critized Rob (don't think I'm defending him, I don't agree with him either) for making vast generalizations, but aren't you making a generalization by saying most men are morons? I'll give you that A LOT of guys in middle/high school are uh...I can't think of a nice word so I'll say morons also, but don't you think thats just because the haven't matured? Look at me, I'm a nice guy, I'm not a moron, granted I have been told I don't count as a boy (Shelly ;)) but thats a different story. I honestly just want to know what you think.
Oh and you're right I do surpass everyone, in every way ;)
Sarah L,
ReplyDeleteMen and woman are expected to live up to certain, impossible standards, but I don't think those are vague at all. Society has set very clear stereotypes and people just accept it! I don't fit into the typical male stereotype, and I know how much it can suck, but I'll never change myself to fit in. I also think that the gender differences are just a product of the stereotypes society holds abou the different sexes. Read the article I posted in my last comment.
Men and Woman go through most of the same situations in life. Birth, growing up, love, heartbreak, having kids, jobs, etc. The way we experience these things on a personal level though, is very different.
ReplyDeleteLet’s start with women, since I know that one the best. When I’m faced with an emotional situation, I know that I can turn to my friends. I’m not afraid of looking weak, showing too much about myself or anything like that. I know “my girls” are there for those kinds of things. Another facet of our experience is physical. First of all, there is the dreaded period/ability to get pregnant. Periods suck. They hurt, we feel gross, and some of us go on an emotional rollercoaster. We can also get pregnant. I think it is very unfair that a guy could possibly get a girl pregnant, and he could live without any consequence. Sure, he may have to pay alimony, but I’ve heard of many situations where the father has just left never to be found again. Women though, have to live with their moment of bad judgment, If they choose to keep the baby, they would most likely have to change their whole lives around to support the child, and if they decide to abort the child or give the child up for adoption, they have to live with the emotional baggage that comes along with those decisions. In the physical sense, girls have it harder.
On the other hand though, it seems that guys are afraid to let themselves feel anything, at all. I had a best friend who was a guy and I was the closest person to him, but sometimes he still refused to confide in anyone about things because he was afraid he would look weak. I can’t imagine having to live my life holding every emotion in. In the emotional sense, guys seem to have it tougher.
I believe that men and women have it pretty equal when you account for the pros and cons on each side. Both sexes have struggles that they face and double standards they are held too. But if everyone is held to those double standards, are they really double standards? Boys and girls, Guys and dolls, Men and women, we both have advantages and disadvantages. It’s up to each one of us as individual to decide if those things are going to keep them down.
I would definitely trade places with a guy for a small amount of time. I desperately want to know how the male mind works. Are you really that oblivious to things? Do you really not care, or is it an act? How do you react to different things? I would definitely love an insider’s guide to the male psyche.
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ReplyDeletePart 1
ReplyDeleteMen and women most certainly experience the world differently. The things that are forced upon them and the natural emotions they feel are very different. Each is a complex being with very different thought processes and expectations. Of course you all know this, everyone agrees that men and women are different in the way they live every aspect of their lives. They are treated differently, they are viewed differently, there are different things expected of them. That’s not really a question. The real question is how and (especially) why they experience things differently.
The number one reason men and women experience things differently is because of the predetermined stereotypes placed upon them. Men are expected to be strong or successful and especially to provide for his family. Men are required to be the best, to always do the right thing, no matter their circumstance. A man is much more heavily scrutinized for doing the ‘wrong’ thing than a woman is. Sorry if this sounds a little sexist, but that’s just the way our society has become. Women on the other hand, despite their leaps in civil freedoms and opportunities, are still largely seen as housewives or domestic servants. Women are seen as innocent and more pure than men. A woman is expected to conform to her family and only do work that will benefit the family. This is not the general consensus in the public’s views, but in the back of their minds, that’s what they think. These clear distinctions and countless others are utterly disgusting. Why should we follow the stereotypes of the past? All people should be viewed equal; there shouldn’t be certain things that are expected from men and certain things that are expected from women.
Part 2
ReplyDeleteThe unfair differences that both men and women face are despicable. A man should be able to do the same things women do and vice versa. If a girl wants to play football, go ahead, as long as she is comfortable and able, what’s the problem? Society arbitrarily separates males and females and there are different problems caused because of this separation. Men face the scrutiny of doing what’s right and being a “strong” person, inside and out. A man can’t cry in public, he can’t express emotion or an interest in “feminine” things as a woman does. On the other hand, women are expected to be submissive and follow what they are told to do. These faults get in the way of deeper aspirations. Conformity to social standards is what hinders our happiness and clampers our spirits.
Men and women both face challenges, for the most part, equal challenges. Women don’t have it any harder than men and men don’t have it any easier than women. You can’t really compare these challenges; they are in essence completely unique. A woman faces the challenge of a state of assumed physical weakness and doubted ableness. Women can manipulate men and are sometimes given more opportunities due to an assumption that absolute equal gender is necessary. Men are assumed to be stronger and more dependent upon, always needing to be the ‘provider’ and ‘strong’ for their family. Men are sometimes assumed to be much better in certain aspects and are given more opportunities because of this. These and countless others face both men and women. In my opinion, both sexes have it just as easy as the other.
If I could switch with a female for a short period of time, I honestly don’t think I would. Sure, it’d be interesting to experience their hardships and assets, but I’m completely fine with the way I am and the challenges I have to face as a male. As a female, I would probably just say shut the hell up to every winy complainitive girl. I wouldn’t fit in and I would just feel out of place. I think thinking like a girl would probably terrorize me and make me think very differently about girls. Then again, genders shouldn’t be classified and the experiences one male faces could be completely different than ones another faces.
Life sucks no matter what your gender is. Things aren’t any fairer for either sex and to assume one has it easier than the other is just immature.
Jessie- I think its really sad that people would snicker at a male crying in a movie. People like that are truly despicable. I will admit, I cried a little bit during "The Time Traveler's Wife" and I'm not afraid to admit it. Social stereotypes such as the one you described are the reason we have such a gender divide and arguments over who 'has it better'.
ReplyDeleteBrynne- Sure a man can gain ten pounds and be less scrutinized than a woman would be, but thats not because they 'have it easier'. Women choose to nitpick over physical aspects and things of that nature, some guys do too. Its not because your a woman that you are jusged by weight or appearance, but because women allow that to happen.
Alexis- I admire your ability to view men and women's challenges as equally hard. Girls often find their challenges harder than a typical men. Men and women do faces seperate but equal challenges and (No offense) but many girls wouldn't agree. Its really great that you can look at a man's problem and realize it's difficulty. The ability to view a different perspective and not judge it with bias is a truly invaluable skill.
They say that men think with their eyes, and their libido, while girls think with their minds and hearts. Of course both genders lead different lifestyles with different takes on common life experiences. But when it comes down to it, we are just human. I know some guys who fit the stereotype and some guys who break it, and the same goes for girls. I personally do not care what a guy thinks of me. I dress how I want to dress, I do my makeup how I want to do it, and I do my hair how I want it. I have a billion pet peeves about messiness or frizziness and if I ask how my hair looks, that’s why. I don’t like looking a mess, and that’s for me and no one else! A guy should like me for who I am not how I look.
ReplyDeleteI try to look at the good in people, so that’s probably why I don’t whole-heartedly agree with my opening statement. I have some guy friends that care more about a girl’s personality than how she looks and how “easy” she may or may not be. There are some genuinely nice guys out there, and that shouldn’t be overlooked. There are, however, the stupid idiot pigs that say “hey sexy ;)” instead of the civilized “hi, how are you?” or maybe the cute “hello, beautiful.” Some of these guys think that the more chicks they “get with” the cooler they look to their friends. I don’t understand how a guy can be like “Dude, you got all the hot chicks you are THE MAN!” but for a girl it’s more like, “Oh my god, that girl totally got with so-and-so and his best friend, she’s such a slut.” Which brings me to another point. Some girls are just like the stereotypical guy. They are the girls that you hear the gossip about, the ones with “naughty” piercings when they are fourteen, or the ones that “get around” with all the guys. I think, as high school kids, that is ridiculous. No one should act like that, ever. I’m not saying we have to be “lady-like” (which is another applied “rule“ to females; we should be allowed to have a little fun and not have to worry about our “class” or “modest behavior“), but we at least have to have some self respect.
Personally, I think that our society is too opinionated and is too strict. Men and women should be looked at as equal, since, once again, we are all human. There are physical differences, and some mental differences as well (we’ve all heard “girls rule, boys drool” since we were about six years old), but that doesn’t mean that an entire gender can be looked down upon because of it. When it comes to “having it harder,” I can easily agree with my gender’s opinion that girls do. But then again, we are all human, and no matter what gender we may be, we have many tough situations to face.
Girls have their periods. I’m sure everyone knows how bad that can be so I’m not getting into it. But like Alix said, we also have to deal with pregnancy and other physical issues. Males have to deal with their confidence and other issues as well. If a boy’s father walks out, and he is older with younger siblings, he must then help his mother to take care of them and protect them. If something goes wrong, it falls on him. Since society places a heavy burden on males to be leaders, it can be difficult for them too.
I only want to trade places with boys about once a month! Actually, I’m just kidding. I’m fine with not knowing how a guy’s mind works. Honestly, I think it would just confuse me more about them. I don’t get them at all. I’m sure they don’t get us either, but hey, it doesn’t matter. Hugh Heffner doesn’t hang out with women because he feels he understands them, right? If I were to trade places with a guy it probably wouldn’t do me much good. So I’m not going to waste my time when I can just enjoy being a girl and keep living my life like I already am. =]
Hannah S. – Since Sunday I have been trying to figure out what to say in this blog. As I sat down tonight and wrote down some keys points, I would have to say that everything you said matched what I was going to say. I remember in 5th grade when we played soccer with all the boys everyday at recess and every girl would look at us like we were aliens. When you said “When either a man or woman acts out of how they're expected, for example a girl plays football, people think they are different or weird,” I couldn’t have agreed more. I can relate to pretty much everything you said, and I am happy that someone sees men and women like I do!
ReplyDeleteJustin H- I love what you wrote. It is entirely true! All of the predisposed stereotypes you listed really are being pressed into our minds at a young age. But it all comes down to being human, and how life is whats difficult, not our lives based simply on what sex we are.
ReplyDeleteAlix LessChinSki- "Are you really that oblivious to things? Do you really not care, or is it an act?" I want you to trade places with a boy, just to find the answers to these questions, adn then you can tell me! I bet you'd make SOOO much money if you wrote a book about it. Dude, for real! I love how you wrote your whole blog. Mad props =]
Deanna N- I love how you are opinionated and i love the confidence you have. But I'm going to have to agree with Kristen. Not all guys are morons, although it's agreeable that some definitely are! It's all a matter of opinion, and to each her own. One day you'll see that guys can really be gentlemen and can be truly kind and caring. =]
Brynne- “Men can also rock out a beer belly as for woman if they gain ten pounds they are looked at being “lazy’ and often are advised to start “Weight Watchers.” Honestly, you couldn’t have said it better. Just by that fact alone, it is easy to see how the world sees the different genders. I agreed with everything you wrote, including how women have to work much harder in a place that is a man’s job. I enjoyed reading your blog because it was not just about how men have it easy on life, but it also backed up why you thought so. The examples you provided made me really think about different situations that men and women go through. The fact that women’s body types make it harder for them to run just shows how hard women work for the things that want.
ReplyDeleteJustin H.- I wanted to read a guy’s prospective of this topic and I chose yours. The last part of your comment when you said, “Life sucks no matter what your gender is. Things aren’t any fairer for either sex and to assume one has it easier than the other is just immature,” was my favorite statement. It is great to see a male noticing that women and men both have their share of problems and not just think men have it extremely hard. I know you think you would want to say shut the hell up to every winy girl, but it is difficult trust me. If I could I would say that but as a girl I know I have to let things go and not worry about all the little drama that occurs. I really enjoyed reading your blog, and do agree with all of the point that you made.
ReplyDeleteBefore I started school, I had boys over my house all the time. (SCANDALOUS!) We'd watch Power Rangers, eats tons of junk food, and pick our noses. Genders weren't important to us. We were all in our nice happy little carefree world! Maybe it was because we weren't aware of our differences at that time, or maybe we just didn't care. I don't know. It's too far back to recall, but I do know that once school started, many things changed. There was like this imaginary line that divided the girls and boys. The boys thought the girls were babies, and the girls thought the boys were pigs. I'm sorry to say this, but that line is still there and I don't think it will ever really go away. From what I've seen, there's still those same opinions, but the only difference is that hormones have caused girls and boys to be attracted to each other. REALLY attracted to each other! (Have you seen those couples in the halls? Grody!) Honestly, I don't think the way genders experience things is really that different. A guy will join a sport, try to act cool to fit in, and not really act like himself as long as he's liked. Girls are the exact same way. We'll pound on tons of makeup, get the latest styles, and try to wow the guys just so we'll be accepted in this sick society. I don't like how people think just girls try to impress because I know guys do the same. If a guy walks in with a sweater vest or clothing that's not "in", the cool kids will automatically poke fun at his masculinity and call him a sissy boy or something. I don't think any gender really has it easier than the other. Many people have high expectations of both genders, and both genders really just want to be accepted. Of course, there are people who don't fit into this description. The few that just act as who they are no matter what gender they are and what the majority are doing would be the minority that does not count. People say that getting pregnant is one of the things boys are lucky not to experience, but I strongly disagree! I know, we've seen all the health videos and diagrams and we all know it's probably the most painful thing to experience, but you're giving birth to another human being! I consider myself lucky to have the chance to someday experience that. (Hopefully. haha) I feel bad that a male doesn't have the option to experience giving birth.
ReplyDeleteI don't really think I'd want to be a boy because I'm really not all that curious. I don't think there are really any differences. (Excluding physical ones, of course.) We all see things the same way, and the way we react is based on our own personalities and our own past experiences, not our genders.
Response #1 Alexis
ReplyDelete"I would want to switch places, just for a little while, but that's just me, I'm usually attracted to looking at things in a new perspective. But I would want to come back to being a girl. If I had a choice, I would want to be a woman. Though I probably would make a good guy knowing the woman point of view, I would never permanently want to be one. I like being a woman way too much."
I agree. Even though sometimes it sucks, in general I love being a girl. Maybe it's because I have (obviously) never experienced being a boy, but I have fun the way I am so I see no need to change it. haha. But I also agree that I would still like to switch for a while. I too enjoy experiencing new things and it would be interesting to see the world through the experiences of a guy.
Response #2 Sarah L
" have discovered that you can never truly understand something that you are too close to. If you love someone, your views of them will always be biased. If you are in a situation or a place, you cannot see it accurately."
This is without a doubt definitely true. I know that it is hard for me to assess a situation when I'm stuck in the middle of it so I try to talk to people that have a totally outside view for help. I think that this statement is the main reason that men and women think that they have it harder. Of course a guy is going to say that men have it harder and a girl would say they have it harder, because they have no other point of view!
Response #3 Deanna
"Generically speaking, men are morons, and women let them be morons."
I totally disagree. I don't see it as men are all morons, I see it as they just can't handle situations like us women would want them too. They process things differently, thus they react differently. Sometimes these reactions may been seen as stupid to us, just because it seems obvious of what they should do. Sure, guys do dumb ass things, but so do girls! Even like you said "women let them be morons.", isn't that stupid on our part? If we let guys continue to do things that we see as moronic, how are they supposed to change?
It's hard to tell if women and men experience the world differently is the physical differences were put aside. This is because, the way I see it, the physical differences causes ALL the differences that people imagine exist between men and women. Obviously there are the things that can be easily identified. But what I'm talking about is the hormones and the way men and women think and act are all associated with that very minute detail in our genetic code, the XX or XY chromosome. For example, for men, I've read that the amount of testosterone causes varied emotions such as anger, aggression, and of course, sexual drive. But It also creates different body types, such as the "macho-man" strength, because without those physical differences are what make up nature's way of reproduction. For women, our XX's chromosomes provide more estrogen and less testosterone and that causes women to see the world more clearly and more compassion-- not as rashly as men do. These differences are what created those social stereotypes and assumptions about men and about women. After all, how would the 'scientific meaning of life: reproduction" occur without the aggression of men and compassion women express to care for children? In the end, everything that is different about men and women leads down to the physical aspects.
ReplyDeleteBut if those physical aspects were to be removed from the question, I see that men and women do not experience the world that differently. I see gender like race. Race clearly causes differences in appearance and physical build. But ultimately, we are all human right? Gender causes those same physical differences, but they affect both internal and external aspects. Like race, when I look at someone and judge them through "gender-blind" eyes, I see a HUMAN. All humans experience the world in similar ways. There's birth and death and all the stuff in-between: hardships, victories, failures, etc.
The best way I can explain this is with the events of a foreign movie I saw a couple years ago called XXY. It centers on the life of a young hermaphrodite, who is, if you didn't know a person who is a combination of the two genders. The main character went through the same things that other children her age go through: bullying, friendships, and even love. She, as she was identified as, found LOVE, the romantic kind, even through she wasn't sure which gender she was. If that isn't a way to show that both men and women do not inherently experience the world differently, then I don't know what is. I never even knew a person like the main character existed until seventh grade biology. But after watching that movie, I truly see that gender is just a label that is imposed for the purpose of reproduction. All humans are humans, regardless of gender. Society merely imposes stereotypes and assumptions like it does for race or religion.
One gender does not have it easier than the other. Both physically and socially, both genders have positive and negative aspects about their way of life. To concentrate more on the social aspect, I believe the levels of emotions both genders go through are quite balanced. For example, men tend to keep their emotions to themselves. It not only prevents men from looking 'weird' (because of the macho-man stereotype), it also forces men to lock their emotions within themselves. On the other hand, women tend to express their emotions for their peers. But that also causes negatives. Women have to deal with the drama that results from so much expression. Of course both men and women experience both of these emotions. But it only shows that men and women are more a like than most people think. Neither one has it easier. Life is just a ride and there's always a balance between good experiences and bad experiences
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, if I were the same person, but a male, I feel confident that my life wouldn't be too much different than it is now. From being a part of the band to what I believe in, all the aspects that make up how I am as a person would be the same. I would experience life with the same hardships as I do now. For example, people always see Asian people as super-smart and crazily amazing at everything (which I believe is ridiculous). As a Chinese girl or a Chinese boy, I would still be seen as the same through my extra-curriculars and academics. All my male cousins feel the same way I do about school.
So in the end, I think there is only one reason why I would want to experience life as boy: to find out if they crush on people the same way girls do. Right now I think men do experience love (especially young love) in very similar ways but they keep so low-key about it that it seems as if it’s different. I want to be sure about this, though. It would make me more confident as a girl who feels as if she’s never loved. I wouldn’t want to switch for any other reason, just that one. In my eyes there are only the physical and hormonal differences between men and women that cause distinctions in thought and behavior. Why would I want to bother with physical issues men have when I can simply concentrate on my own, female physical issues?
My mind honestly comes to a blank whenever I think about answering the blog. I keep feeling like what I type will sound redundant to what everybody else has already mentioned. Let’s hope this doesn’t bore you guys...: P
ReplyDeleteAs said in other blogs, men are expected to be the stronger, more grounded individual. They’re our ‘rocks’. They provide, protect, and comfort. Men are not supposed to show their emotions. If they’re hurting, they tell no one and ‘man up’. Crying is practically forbidden, and so is showing any kind of weakness. Women on the other hand, are almost expected to cry at the drop of a pin. It’s an accepted fact that we’re weaker, more emotional, and are meant to take care of all the kids we have. It’s these gender standards that lead men and women to behave so differently.
When faced with a fight or an argument between friends, boys are more likely to duke it out. In their eyes, the winner of the fight is the person whose right. Problem solved. Sure, they might still hate each other, but no one really hears about them anymore. However, when girls fight, everybody’s got to hear about it for about 3 months. Rumors fly around and each party involved in the disagreement says horrible things about the other. Both of the girls can get seriously hurt by these insults and that can leave lasting damage to her confidence and self-esteem. Instead of just letting the problem drop like the boys do, girls tend to drag fights out over long periods of time until one of them breaks down and surrenders.
But these experiences go way beyond those experienced amongst member of the same sex. Men and women also have to go through standards placed upon themselves by each other. In this society, when a girl is very promiscuous, she’s considered a whore by both male and females. If a boy acts the same way, he may be considered a ‘man-whore’ by some women, but to other guys, he’s practically a sex god. If a man fails at something, he just ‘had a bad day’ or wasn’t properly qualified. If a women fails, it’s because she tried to do a ‘mans’ job and didn’t have what it takes. When a guy doesn’t dress so great, he’s perfectly normal. Once he starts dressing really nicely, he’s suddenly ‘metro’ and probably gay. If a girl wears whatever, she has ‘no style’ and is probably a slob. If she dresses up, that’s what she’s supposed to look like all the time. Most people are pretty much driven by these double standards, and it is that fact that annoys me the most.
I don’t believe that any sex has it easier. Sure girls have to deal with periods, and the miracle of birth and blah blah blah, but boys have plenty to deal with as well besides occasionally getting hit in a sensitive area. Each of us has our own issues to deal with in life, and we probably worry about these things just as much as the other person. I don’t think that there can ever be a way properly rate which sex has a harder life, because everybody’s perception of it is different.
I’ve already said this plenty of time before, but i would love to switch lives with a guy. Honestly…I just don’t understand men, and I just want to get an insight into what happens in their world. There’s so much that I think girls don’t understand about guys, and I really don’t want to be part of that population that remains ignorant to the trials of being or even becoming a man.
Does that make sense?
Men and women definitely experience the world differently. It’s as if the differences have been programmed into our heads since we were young. Men and women just react differently to situations because of a few factors such as the fact that many are raised with people telling them how they should act. Influences from around set an example to many as to how they are supposed to act and what their role in life is supposed to be. It seems that few are able to break this reoccurrence of predisposed attitudes. Men are supposed to be the strong ones who provide and are looked to as the support that holds a family. Women are supposed to be emotional but able to spend most of their time doing daily chores such as taking care of the house and kids. One thing I always noticed when I was growing up was that my cousin was expected to be stronger and I guess simply more capable of doing stuff that involved manual labor. Even though he was only about a year and a half older than me it seemed like whenever my grandpa needed help mowing the lawn or lifting something my cousin was always asked to help. I always assumed that the reason for this was because he was a boy and if I ever offered to help I was automatically told that it was too much for me. I always assumed that I couldn’t help because I’m a girl. This was something that always angered me because even though I’m not as strong as my cousin now I am pretty sure that our strength was equal back when we were younger. I think that boys most likely do have it easier. There are physical differences that make life easier for boys but it also seems that they do not have to live up to as many expectations. This might not be true for all guys because everybody is different and that is just my perspective. They just seem as though they are judged in a lessened way that makes life in general less difficult. In a way I would like to see what everything is like from a guy’s experience because for all I know I may be wrong. Boys may deal with some very difficult things but from what I’ve heard and seen things look easier. If I took on the role of a boy for a day or two then maybe I could figure if I am right or wrong. But honestly I’m not sure if that would even be enough to prove my points right or wrong because everyone is different and they may all act differently, it just depends on the person. So I guess in the end I’d actually rather just remain a girl because whether it’s harder or not I still like being a girl. I’m my own person, yes I’m sure I fit a few stereotypes here and there but there are also a few that I fit the completely opposite description of.
ReplyDeletePART 1
ReplyDeleteTalking over this topic with my sister, I have found a more sturdy opinion of on it. Men and women experience the world completely and utterly differently. It is more than body parts, how we use the bathroom and who is stronger physically and mentally for that matter. Take a look at relationships, oh here we go.
Boys, too immature to be labeled as “men”, can date many girls growing up in any amount of time intervals. They go out with one, break up the next day and less than a week later can be found mingling with another girl down the hallway. That’s alright though because that’s what they’re supposed to do. Girls, too emotionally distressed to be labeled as “women”, have it a little different. If they are found doing the same thing as boys, they get the immediate labels that no girl wants growing up. Fair? I thought so too.
Like my sister was telling me, this whole situation is already in the heads of many teenagers. Don’t sit there and act like you don’t notice and I’m the only one that points it out because I am Mount Emotional because it’s in the halls of Oakcrest. It isn’t like as we get older we find this out – that men and women are experiencing the world differently. We are in high school living this through.
Today, actually, I saw one certain girl holding hands with her “boyfriend” after first period and low and behold, before my chemistry class she was with another one. What was I thinking, you may wonder. Slut. I couldn’t help it, it’s in my mind. It may be in mine more than others but I know it’s in everyone’s. Let’s back away from relationships.
PART 2
ReplyDeletePresidency – the lovely Hilary Clinton. Chris Lynch would be first in line to explain why we cannot have a woman president for the simple reason that she’s a woman. It’s a known fact that so many people degrade women for our monthly visitor and blame our problems on PMSing.
Men have life easier. The hardest thing you could be in this world is a black female, but that’s another story. Men have overcome their challenges and so have women. From the start, women were placed with fewer privileges and held to lower standards just because they were seen as weaker. Women give birth. Men hold their hands. Women cry but so do men. Sure, men can lift a million pounds, but I’m sure if women wanted to be butchy they would too. Men whine and complain when their stomach hurts and beg to be taken care of when women deal with a weekly long stomachache as their uterus falls out every month and still have to deal with their daily routine. Please, do not try to add in “But there’s birth control.”
Would I switch? HA, no. I hate things I have to go through but I would not be a guy. They are so bent on who is bigger, who has the better job, more money and so on. I would like to live my life, thank you.
Now that my anger level has increased dramatically relating Chris Lynch to the matter, I want to wrap this up. Men and women experience the world differently for all the labels and beliefs previous ancestors left us with. Everyone cries and everyone goes through emotional events in their life but why are women considered so much weaker for that? Why are women thought to not be able to accomplish certain things due to their bodily functions? As far as I’m concerned, men will continue living easier because women will take care of them.
JV - I know that your last paragraph is directed towards me but you're still my best friend. I agree on the fact that I would never change either, even though WE HAVE IT HARDER. But you are too stubborn, boy! By the way, I have seen Mean Girls are you are Regina George so don't try to pull yourself out of the superficial and terrible girl world.
ReplyDeleteMegan Sherman - I love your second to last paragraph and I totally agree that all of the problems and stereotypes that boys and girls face alone do come together and even our lovely world out. Don't you think that we make it better though? :)
Kaitlin - You make me giggle, I love that you want to actually be a guy for a week. I understand experiencing through their eyes, but you would never want to come back because of how easy it is. Okay, I need to stop because I feel like the opposite of Chris. But you have to admit, they don't always have that laid back attitude otherwise women wouldn't go so crazy.
Dear Kristie,
ReplyDelete'The hardest thing you could be in this world is a black female, but that’s another story.'
I was actually reading every blog entry just to see if anyone would bring this up. Haha. I'm always hearing that the people who have it the hardest are black women, because it's like they got the short end of the stick. Not only are we women, but we're also black. -_- Ah well, i don't completely agree with that saying. I think it depends on where you've grown up and who you surround yourself with. But then again..i haven't exactly been out into the real world yet..
Stephen:
ReplyDeleteThanks for the article! I found it so interesting that the adults who were misled about babies' genders perceived their tendencies differently than adults who knew the actual gender of the baby. It just goes to show you that people expect certain things and will emphasize and encourage expected behavior.
The 19th Amendment granted women in the United States equal rights to men… on paper at least! From the beginning of every society, men are always placed above women in social ranks. The effects of inequality from the start instill the idea that men and women are completely different, and therefore are bound to experience the world differently.
ReplyDeleteThe most notable difference between men and women is that women continually have to prove themselves. Whether it is in the office, on the field, or in the classroom, women are held at a lower standard than men. Men are paid more money for doing to same job as women, gym teachers think they’re complimenting when they say, “You’re pretty good for a girl,” and God forbid a girl gets the highest grade on a test, all of the boys around her bow their head in shame. Society puts men on a pedestal, for some unknown reason, and degrades women at the same time.
To clear up all the confusion, girls are better than boys. :-P For example, girls are more organized, attentive, and nurturing, while boys are more aggressive, less serious, and bigger show-offs. However, this does not mean that girls aren’t aggressive, or show-offs, we definitely have our share. Women are beginning to dominate athletic fields everywhere and give men a run for their money.
Taking the facts listed above into account, I think women have it easier. We are the underdogs, so there isn’t a standard to attain, only personal goals to surpass. Since society looks down upon boys who come second to girls in anything, boys feel constant pressure to be the best. That’s why most of them are big jerks. How would you feel if all day, every day you had to perform at a certain standard so other boys, and even some girls, wouldn’t make fun of you? No wonder boys are grumpy.
If I had the chance, I think I would trade places with a boy for one day. I want to experience what it’s like to not have to get dressed up for school every morning. I want to know what it would be like to eat whatever I want and not feel gross after eating 10,000 calories in one day. The last thing I want to experience as a boy is the feeling of not caring at all what other people think of me. After one day, though, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to be a boy anymore, “rub some dirt in it,” isn’t a phrase I agree with.
Considering all of the strikes against us, girls are clearly victorious in the race of life. Even though were not taken seriously all of the time, women as a whole are making giant leaps with equality in mind. Personally, I wouldn’t mind if we were ever equal to boys. I like beating them at their own game while I’m the underdog. :)
Lucas S.: I definitely agree that how we are raised determines who we are and that is why the gender stereotypes have made it so far. Even though I believe guys have it a little easier I still agree that not all guys are idiots and the same goes for girls. Everyone is different; it all just depends on the person. One person can not represent an entire group.
ReplyDeleteJourdan S.: I’m so glad that you included a psychological version. It’s definitely another perspective needed to even come close to understanding certain things. The theory you mentioned applies to this completely. I mean that theory is true because most people do give in to certain behaviors just so that they will be accepted.
ReplyDeleteBrynne K.: I loved the examples you used! They are most definitely true. You really pointed out how things seem harder for girls. Those examples like the marriage one and the beer belly one made me really think about them. I hadn’t really considered all of those things before.
Lauren Day:
ReplyDeleteYou bring up an interesting point. Women are underdogs. We are supposed to lose to men, so there's no shame in losing and when we win, it's party time. However when a man loses to a woman, his man-status plummetts, and when he wins, it's no big deal because it was expected.
You cited this as a way that women have it easier, which I agree with to an extent. We don't have to deal with the same ridicule if we can't top someone of the opposite gender, but I feel that there is a strong negative side to this as well. If there is no standard to attain, then why work hard? Some of us, as you mention, work hard based on personal goals, but some women lack the motivation to be the best. Afterall, it doesn't reall matter, right?
Men are given the competitive motivation to work harder and come out on top and despite the negative pressure put on them, the results show through exceptional grades, high athletic acchievement, and strong professional performance. The lack of such social pressure on women leads to settling for less than can be acchieved.
Kaitlyn Graziano (KTG)
ReplyDelete“I consider myself lucky to have the chance to someday experience that. (Hopefully. haha) I feel bad that a male doesn't have the option to experience giving birth.”
Even though I don’t feel this way, I think that’s amazing that you see giving birth in such a positive light. I think you’re the very first person I’ve heard say they are considered lucky to have the chance to experience birth. Most people would dread it, both women and men. I know for me, I would be TERRIFIED when the times come for me to give birth. I would absolutely hate myself for being a girl at that point. But for you, it’s so admiral! People really need to see the negatives about life and turn it into positives like you do! =)
Gwen:
Gwen, you are such an amazing writer! I read other people’s blogs but you’re descriptions and blatant way of telling it all is so true. You pretty much touched at every stereotype there is and described it so well that the entire time, I just said “that is exactly what everything thinks!” And you definitely hit the nail here “Each of us has our own issues to deal with in life, and we probably worry about these things just as much as the other person.” Men and women do no differ in the way they address their issues. For example, with college, both guys and girls in high school are worried about it especially as juniors. A better example would probably be finding love. I can honestly tell you that I heard a guy say “I’m afraid I might end up alone.” SEE, guys think that way too; it’s not just a women thing.
Kristie:
I see where you’re coming from with all of your blog, but I have to disagree with some of it. I think you tend to see men in the way society forces men to be seen. “I hate things I have to go through but I would not be a guy. They are so bent on who is bigger, who has the better job, more money and so on.” These are all just stereotypes that really anger me because I know a good amount of guys who are nothing like this. I agree with you that it’s terrible for us women when we’re degraded, but you just have to ignore those kinds of guys. I feel like one of the few girls in this class who defend guys, but I’m pretty sure not all guys are like that (maybe I’m just being a bit too optimistic, but it is true—not ALL guys are jerks.). We’re just in the high school stage where guys are overcome with so much hormones that they don’t see things clearly.
KTG-
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading yours, because I think you really thought about all of this and have unique opinions. I agree with you that boys and girls are really not as different as society makes them out to be in a lot of ways. Beneath sports equipment and beauty supplies, people just want to find their place in this world, especially in high school. Falling in line with gender stereotypes are just a tool for them to do that. I agree with you that guys put on just as much of a show for people as girls do. We’ve all seen guys flexing their muscles, threatening other guys, and doing dumb stunts in front of girls. It was really refreshing to see a different take on pregnancy. It isn’t just a painful chore. Women can give the gift of life and I think that mothers are almost always closer to their kids than fathers are. After all they suffered for the child and it was once a part of them.
PART 1
ReplyDeleteI’ve been talking about this blog with my fellow bloggers throughout these past two days, and I immediately thought this would be a topic that would stir debate between the guys and girls of AP Lang. However, now that I think about it, there really is no need to quarrel about this subject. Everyone is going to have their own theory of boys vs. girls, because honestly, we’re only stating what we know from experiences.
Let’s start with the obvious: I’m a girl. I’ve lived a life full of crushes, dreams, and painted nails. I’m referred to as the “drama queen” by the ones who know me best, for I’m basically an emotional rollercoaster. I’ll admit that I’m probably more emotional than the average girl. I guess my fiery passion for the things I love most can explain that. I’m also in love with the thought of love, although I have never experienced it in my life. I bounce from crush to crush, constantly falling head over heels for a guy I saw once in the hallway. My dreams get in the way of my reality, and it seems as though I cannot wake up. Do these characteristics of me identify myself as a “girl”? In some instances, I guess. But personally, I do not believe so.
I’ve known plenty of guys who are just as love-crazy and just as passionate as I. Just because girls express their emotions more differently than men, doesn’t mean men, in general, do not have emotions. When I release emotions, I usually just rant to my closest friends and have a nice, long talk. How do boys react with emotions? See, this is where the differences set into place.
PART 2
ReplyDeleteHere’s a statement of the obvious part two: I’m not a guy. I don’t know what it is like to live up to the stereotypical macho mania. If I were to imagine, however, I’d say guys hide their emotions more easily than women. Don’t quote me on that, because it is just a simple theory. For instance, I have rarely found the type of guy who expresses his romanticism in public. I know he is out there, but it pretty difficult to find. This is quite possibly because men’s emotions are covered behind muscle (or just a façade). However, this is not a generalization. I am just theorizing.
This is probably the most repetitive thing on this blog: “Girls are called sluts when they make-out with someone, but men are deemed as heroic.” “Girls go through so much drama, while guys have the pressure to become buff and tough.” These stereotypes have probably been around for many decades. I mean, the concept of male masculinity has evolved ever since “the dawn of man”. Yet, I think these stereotypes can be applied to any gender. I consider guys “slutty” when they randomly make-out with girls, except I just refer to them as man-whores. Girls, at times, aren’t afraid to admit their recent hook ups. In fact, some brag as much as the guys. Guys, too, can go through drama, but it may be different than what the girls assume. The pressure to be “buff and tough” can also be applied to women as well, except in a different light. I know I am always pressured to look pretty and have a nice body. Both genders, in my personal opinion, experience the same life-impacting demands, but men and women go through it in different methods, as I mentioned before with the emotional aspect. Stereotypes make us weary when it comes to the world, because we don’t want to live up to these negative gender expectations.
PART 3
ReplyDeleteFrankly, I’m not siding with any gender when it comes to “who has it the most difficult”. Physically, we all have our weak points. For girls, we have our monthly gift from god. And guys, well, they just have their raging hormones. Sure, guys can be “lucky” because they aren’t the ones giving birth, but let’s just think on the positive side. I think birth is a blessing, and I don’t think I’ll ever regret going through the nine month process. Emotionally, I feel we are all equal. I don’t believe gender classifies the amount of emotion you have. Both boys and girls can be drama queens, and both boys and girls can deem to be emotionless.
As for switching genders, I think I’d be cool being a guy for the day. I’ve always wanted to fully know how it is like on the other side. Maybe it is harder than what meets the eye. Of course, I would never trade places and sacrifice my life as a woman. Being a woman is amazing. Being a human is amazing. Being Chrissy is amazing. I don’t want to trade places with anyone or anything, ever.
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ReplyDeleteFrom my experiences in many different environments, for example high school, I can agree with the statement that men and women experience the world differently. Growing up I was the typical tomboy who wore her hair in a ponytail, had sweats on every day, never added makeup to her face, and would always be playing a sport with the guys. In elementary school everyone had their own style but once we all hit middle school and high school, things started to change. Boys began going to the gym to outperform other boys. Girls began dressing in revealing clothes to look better than the other girls. How each gender sees the world can be attributed to the standards held by their own gender.
ReplyDeleteEach gender tries to outdo their own, but their experiences in these journeys are different. Since the early colonial times, men have been portrayed as the dominant figure. This fact is displayed when men are supposed to be the strong, assertive “bring home the bacon” guy. Even today, if a guy does not uphold these standards than they are considered weak and frowned upon. However, women are known to be the weak gender. Today women are considered the housewife and caretaker. Women are put under much scrutiny of their appearance. In my personal example, I know that I changed my appearance because of the scrutiny that I received of being something that I am not. I conformed to society because of the remarks that were made, which can be seen through many people. Boys will start lifting if someone says they are small, or a girl will start wearing makeup if someone calls her ugly. Boys and girls face the same scrutiny under different circumstances which is how they experience the world differently.
Neither gender has an easier time. Everyone is always trying to get ahead of someone in their gender like it is a competition. Men and women both have to maintain a standard or else the world will gossip. It is in a way horrible yet amazing that we strive off competition. For example, it is horrible that everything a person says or does is being judged. Yet, it is a positive note because if there was no competition what would be the point of living?
In all honesty I would not trade places with a man. Some men can be arrogant to the point that they do not even realize what they are saying. When a guy makes a comment like “Oh field hockey is so easy I would be so amazing at it and you guys suck,” it is pretty funny because they can play field hockey if they wanted to. I know some pretty amazing guy players and some pretty awful guy players but the problem with most guys is they say things and never follow through. When most girls have their mind set on things they set out to do it.
Kristie:
ReplyDeleteAs far as I’m concerned, men will continue living easier because women will take care of them.
Amen? I loved your blog! It’s so true. Really, what do men have to worry about (besides who has bigger biceps) when women cook their meals, wash their clothes, and clean up after them? I would never want to be a boy permanently, but being pampered all day would be nice once in a while. I also like how you collaborated with your sister. You are both extremely smart and I was excited to read your blog after I read the first few lines. It’s so cute how you two get along so well! :)
Jourdan:
Your blog was very refreshing. Mostly everyone wrote about how the lives men and women lead are extremely different, including me, but after reading your post I started thinking about how men and women are ultimately the same. Even though we have different obstacles, they still exist for each gender, and even though there are stereotypes for and against each sex, there still are stereotypes. You made a really complex idea seem easy to understand. Thanks for paying attention in AP Psych :)
Deanna:
Screw idiots. I’m Kale Nagasaki.
You are my hero. Your blog was entertaining, and I loved reading every word of it. You’re such a talented author; the whole post just flowed effortlessly. Anyway, I agree with your theory of the “stupidity cycle.” All these little “prostitots” walking around Oakcrest thinking they’re so cool because a guy thinks they’re hot. I just feel like saying “NEWSFLASH! HE’S ONLY TRYING TO GET WITH YOU!” I hate how girls (and guys for that matter) dig for compliments just so they can feel better about themselves. If you need someone to flatter you so you can sleep at night, you have problems. Thanks for artfully constructing your blog in an informative and entertaining way. I loved it! :)
Hannah - I really love how you said that sometimes having to tell each other how we (girls) feel leads to more problems. God forbid a girl just grins-and-bears it! I don't know about you or anyone else, but I've noticed even my guy friends get pissed when I don't tell them if Im upset or hurt or even just a little grouchy! Then, if I DO tell someone, it becomes this competition about who's life sucks more! I agree that girls and guys should switch lives for one day just to get the general idea of living that life.
ReplyDeleteJourdan:
ReplyDeleteI see what you mean. I guess the quote, "only the strong survive," applies exceptionally well to this situation. Most women don't set personal goals because they feel oppressed by men and like they're not allowed to better themselves. The strong women, however, won't put up with that and go on to achieve great things. Some women just don't have "it."
Part 1:
ReplyDeleteIn America, men and women are considered equal. Yet, since they are of different genders they experience the world very differently. This is due to the fact of the past and our nature as a whole.
In the early civilizations women did not dominate in society. It’s always been up to the men to bring home the food. The reason being, woman gave births. Obviously a woman cannot hunt if they are carrying a child. And because women were able to carry a child, they’ve always been much more gentle and caring. Their nature has always been nurturing. Therefore, it was suitable for them stay at home and raise their children, while the men worked on other responsibilities, mainly hunting, that toughened them up by encountering the animals deep into the woods. And so their nature has always been strong and tough. These ideals of a typical man and a woman were still the same later on in the centuries (until of course women‘s rights in America), well their nature somewhat is…especially for a woman.
Eventually women’s rights came around and everybody was independent. Equality of the actions of individuals, is very extreme in this country. Because of our past, women are still considered to be a bit softer (personality wise) and men being tougher. I know many guys who are ‘softer’ than many girls, but in most cases guys are expected to be tougher than girls. It’s always been that ways since the dawn of man. Therefore many guys, especially teenagers, are viewed as idiots, jerks, etc . They must have a reputation that shows their ‘manliness’. Whereas girls, well they often vary from what I‘ve observed. I know many girls that are stronger, faster and smarter than guys. But there are instances where girls dress up preppy to impress a boy, and act sweet , innocent and dumb.
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ReplyDeletePart 2:
ReplyDeleteI feel as if it is harder to live life as a girl. Even from the very beginning of time, women had to go through a lot more than men. Going back to the instance of a woman being in her place at home, in certain cultures it still exists. At the time my cousins arrive in their mid- twenties, their parents start looking for their daughter‘s or son‘s life partner-to-be. It’s Indian tradition and none of my cousins, those who got married, has ever objected to the idea. The bride, unfortunately, has to leave her family’s house and go live off with her husband and her in-laws. Women in my family, after marriage, are expected to do the cooking, cleaning, and raising the kids. On top of that, my cousins, that are girls, also work or are continuing in their studies. It’s tough having to carry great amounts of responsibility. Other cultures feel as if it is a burden to have female children, like the Chinese used to.
Then there’s the media, the portray what a woman should look like. Teenage girls, mostly, stress themselves out enough of their appearance because majority of them have low self esteem. I sometimes do. It’s hard impressing yourself when you look at a mirror because you soon point out all the flaws and compare yourself with other girls who have that ’preferred look’. I don’t know if guys also feel that way too…
Even though it is hard to be girl, I wouldn’t want to be a guy. Being a girl, like me, is a challenge. I definitely don‘t have ‘the figure‘ favored by most people and, like said, portrayed in the media and I’m okay with that. I’m learning to accept myself the way I am and also explains why I’m very open minded. And as an Indian girl, who might have to follow her traditions, being one will make a stronger woman out of me in the future. I admire all my female cousins (who are married), they are very hard working and make the guys look bad (In my eyes they do, not that their husbands are bad and lazy. They aren’t, it‘s just that the ladies put more effort). Ha Ha. So, much as there are many negatives of being a girl, there are many positives as well.
People act differently in general, but it comes down to the difference in sex where the true division of personalities emerges. Apart from the different physical aspects, men and women act, communicate, and are treated differently depending on sex and who they are talking to. Numerous topics are viewed on sex, who can do what and who can’t. The world has grown to except that the man is suppose to suck up all problems and show no “weak emotions” while the woman’s job is to be fended and cared for. This very accepted view does not make the least bit of sense; women have the power to take care of themselves just fine. I don’t see how woman are looked upon as to be protected in every sense, the willpower of anyone can do something in life. Women are usually viewed as very delicate and cute by men, thus creating the line of ignorant ditzy girls I see plaguing the halls every day. “No the capital of the United States is not United States City”. I could not see how pretending to have the IQ of a rock is attractive in any way. Because girls are viewed in such a way some act accordingly for attention which shows they are viewed and act different than men.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to has it easier, I am on the fence. Would I rather go through agonizing pain for 15 hours, or be forced to a standard of manliness for my whole life. If I were a woman I would be able to bat my eye lashes at a police man and my speeding ticket would disappear. If I was a man, I have good excuses to drop food on my shirt, and forget your birthday (hey were just men, right?). So when it comes to who has it easier I would have to say the men. Women generally are very tedious about things, I am not. Also many people do not see that women are still being slightly oppressed in the United States. More women graduate high school and college, yet their average income in below men. Favor towards men is still happening in the 21st century which makes it even harder for women to live a good life without the “protection” of a man. I would much rather be a guy, talk about guy stuff, and not go through immeasurable amounts of pain.
If I had the chance to trade places with a woman just for a small amount of time, of course I would do it. I would just like to once see if that great manipulation of men were as easy as it seems. Could I complain about my sore arms and obtain my own book carrier? Could I speed down the highway, throw some compliments his way and go off free? Get pretty much anything I want out of a guy with the best bargaining chip in the world? Maybe, but how wrong of me to think of women like that. But is it actually wrong, or am I just uncovering the secret women code of manipulation. I may never know.
Lauren D- Aww your blog was soo right on, we are such underdogs. I agree 100% we as woman always have to prove ourselves no matter what the circumstances and that gets soo tiring. I am soo happy you brought that up :)
ReplyDeleteLucas - I never even considered the affects parents have on how we experience life (good one)! When you see little boys playig with matchbox cars and little girls dressing up dolls, you know that the gender experience division has already begun. Obviously how we live isn't ENTIRELY dependent on how we were brought up ( I for one had much more fun puttin my barbies on the ceiling fan and watching them shoot accross the room than dressing them up), but it does take its toll. Kudos for the new idea.
ReplyDeleteGwen-
ReplyDeleteDon’t worry you didn’t bore me at all. I’ve always kind of admired how guys have one big fight or argument, then get over it. Some girls can let things go, but a lot of us drag things out and try to turn people against each other. I keep remembering something Costal said last year about how when girls are fighting or jealous they bring up random hurtful things, like “She really isn’t that pretty.” The double standards really don’t make sense, and anyone with half a brain should be irritated by them.
“ Each of us has our own issues to deal with in life, and we probably worry about these things just as much as the other person. I don’t think that there can ever be a way properly rate which sex has a harder life, because everybody’s perception of it is different.”
Well put. Everyone has problems and problems are relative to people’s lives. Every individual has different strengths and weaknesses, so a challenge to one person can be a piece of cake to another, regardless of gender. By the way I love that you want to experience life as a guy, and it definitely would give a lot of understanding and insight.
PART 1: Man go make tool and kill mammoth for food. Woman stay home, make baby happy, make more baby, and cook.
ReplyDeleteThroughout history, the men have always taken matters into their own hands, while the women stood back in the side-lines as if they were 'water-boys'. Well, as if these stereotypes have lingered throughout the centuries... Oh, but they have!
It wasn't until the the late 70's, if I'm not mistaken, that the stereotype decreased; however, it decreased gradually. In fact, the stereotype still seems to remain, but not like it has before (in America, that is). Though, in many of the countries, women do not work, and/or even so, are denied of education.
So, as these stereotypes prevailed through the centures, other stereotypes have been latched on to the opposing sexes such as that men are supposed to be bellicose(<3), crude breadwinners. Most of the superiors in history seemed to be males. Even to this day, the typical men seem to be pumped up with testerone with their 'broski' mentalities.
While so, women, as the caretakers, typically are known to be kind, melodramatic, and loving. They're often hung up on their infatuations of love, and the latest celebrity gossip.
Is it even a question that men and women experience the world in completely different ways? Through my 16 years on this earth I’ve been trying to understand females. I have yet not completed this task. But this is what I can tell you through intense observation. Females and males may look the same in human appearance but couldn’t be anymore different in character. The two sexes that we see on this planet are so polar opposite it still dazzles me how the simplest of relationships even work. Girls tend to be more emotional they guys are, this is just in their chemical make up in my opinion. Females are expected to live nearly life long burdens that occur every month which they have no control over what so ever. Along with this you see childbirth, nine months of carrying around extra weight, which intern causes back problems and stretch marks and then intense labor for hours, which may even feel like days. But these are just the everyday things women go through. Women have a much more broad out look on the world they can easily multi-task and get numerous things done. Men on the other hand (myself being one) are a lot narrower minded we receive ideas into our heads and get stuck on that on specific thing. Women tend to be much more emotional which leads to second-guessing and not being sure of themselves. Men on the other hand are much less emotional and tend to be surer of themselves and their decisions. I consider men to have it easier in this world. Many more opportunities arise for men in the career area. Men usually don’t have the emotional baggage that comes with being a woman. Women are still advancing in this world and are proving to be just as formidable as men and almost every aspect of living. Women have come a long way in a short amount of time in showing that they are emotionally capable of holding intense jobs that carry as much emotional stress as any mans job, such as police officers, judges, doctors, and much more. As for the question if I would ever trade sexes and become a female. I would say yes, but only for a short amount of time, just to get the feeling of the mentality of woman. This would help me get a better understanding of where they’re coming from if a dispute or argument would arise. Other then that brief trial period being a female would defiantly not be on my list of things to do.
ReplyDeleteJust a general afterthought:
ReplyDeleteWhen we see a person, whether a male or female, going against accepted gender roles, we label them as an exception. "He's not like most guys," and "She's a strnog woman," separate the subject from his/her gender, making it so that exceptions, which are so numerous that they destroy the supposed rule they contrast, are not considered when evaluating stereotypes.
As an example, I said in my post that men who take the time to care for themselves are "metro." By creating this subgroup, we tear away the individuals from the larger group, so they don't even factor in when we assess the amount of time men spend on their appearance.
Kyra - "Personally, I think that our society is too opinionated and is too strict."
ReplyDeleteI too think the same thing. If it weren't for society shoving things like a need to lose weight and a need to have the perfect face and body, girls and boys wouldn't be as stressed and determined to feel as if they're not presentable unless they're someone they're not.
Justin- "Life sucks no matter what your gender is. Things aren’t any fairer for either sex and to assume one has it easier than the other is just immature."
I agree with this. Each gender has equal issues to deal with. I don't think any gender really has anything different to deal with besides pregnancy and all of that. I must say, "Life sucks" is a little harsh, but maybe that's just the inner hippie in me talking.
Taylor -"When it all boils down, girls and guys all want the same exact things. We want to be accepted, we want people to love us, we want friends, etc. We just go about it in different fashions. Take relationships for example, guys have to be a softy while still a bad boy and girls need to be pretty and laugh at their jokes."
YES! THANK YOU! I agree with this so much. Everyone thinks that girls are the only ones trying to impress, but guys have it tough now too! Especially with shit like Twilight coming out, girls expect every guy to be this perfect human being who will love them forever and think of no one but them and be the perfect mushy gushy lover boy. I think most people are delusional and don't really know what they want! Girls and guys alike!
Dear Jourdan,
ReplyDeleteWow, you're right! I never actually noticed that, so thanks for pointing it out! However, I love the people that go against the grain of typical male or female standards. It's like they're punching society in the face. Haha
Dear KTG,
ReplyDelete'Especially with shit like Twilight coming out, girls expect every guy to be this perfect human being who will love them forever and think of no one but them and be the perfect mushy gushy lover boy.'
KTG, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR SAYING THAT. Hahah. The thing about girls always having to appear perfect and ready to impress has, for the most part, always been true. But especially since Twilight started invading the minds of half the female population, boys have been targeted as well. It's kind of funny [in a sad way] when a girl responds to a guy with 'Why can't you be a vampire like Edward? Then you'd be perfect!'
:P
Lauren:
ReplyDeleteYour opening paragraph explains a lot. People don’t realize that women are still being treated less significant compared to men. The rate of women graduating high school and college are vastly higher than men, yet their income is much lower. (As I said in my blog) This shows that women must go to greater lengths to show themselves because of the low standard held to them. I agree that women are just as much capable to doing almost anything a man can do. The view of women being unequal to men was present since the beginning of time. Women are supposed to cook, clean, and have children. This is absurd that women are any the less smart or equipped to achieve the same or better than men.
KTG:
When you explained the imaginary line, it stuck out to me because of the immediate divide once we started to grow older. Girls will have cooties and boys just want to jump in mud. The way genders are viewed starts from such a young age, before we even know what we are doing were judging the opposite sex on how the world views them. The way the different sexes act towards each other is inevitable and the experiences they face will always be different in some way.
Justin:
I wanted to comment on a guy’s because well, in the AP Lang class there aren’t many. This just goes to show that men aren’t the smartest and most well equipped for life. When the men are outnumbered 1 to a billion it is pretty hard to argue that girls are lesser in any way. Even though you compared men and women equal (which is an obvious was to say your own gender without sparking confrontation) I agree that there many factors that can pull which is better either way. We can’t really see which life is harder to live unless we actually get the chance, maybe in 2050 when they create the gender-switching machine.
Megan:
ReplyDelete“When boys are angry with they each other, they just fight. No talking or apologizing and trying to compromise, just fighting.” Megan I believe this statement is way to generalized of guys, I mean yeah in high school guys tend to be very competitive. But in the office men aren’t leaping over tables and beating the snot out of each other over the last candy bar. Who do you think invented the judicial system? It was men who thought that we better think up a better way of solving our problems then holding wars and fighting over everything. Other than that I thought you’re argument to be very insightful.=]
Stephanie W
ReplyDeleteI love how you don’t immediately go into saying how woman have it harder than men. You stopped and thought about the pressures that men face everyday from sports to just walking down the hallway. I think its noble of you to not just jump on the girls have it harder bandwagon like myself and many others did.
Robert F.
ReplyDelete-I agree with you completely. I think men are more emotionally stable and are expected to be more dominant in just about every situation. I also agree that expectations of me shape my expectations of others, and I’m sorta’ ok with that; it’s almost natural how that happens.
Deanna N.
-On what you said to Robert, “I know for a fact that I have more sense than any and every guy I know,” isn’t that one of those “vast generalizations” you just described in the above sentence? If not, then what is it? I’m sure there’s not some ‘sense test’ that automatically places you above everyone not in your gender. What’s the difference between that and just plain ol’ sexism? You seem fine around me, but if you’re prejudiced to all guys and automatically develop negative opinions of men based on, well, them being men, then how can you ever survive in the world? I’m just saying: calm down a little. Like Lucas said, “Please don’t go through life thinking that every man is a moron.” It just doesn’t help to be angry.
Kristen D.
-I absolutely agree with what you said to Taylor. I think girls have it harder physically and boys have it harder emotionally, like you said. But to elaborate, I think girls’ physical and especially social concerns often manifest into emotions and vice-versa for boys, as in that their physical concerns often root from shaky emotional concerns. I think this is where the stereotypes for men and women originate, that men’s worlds are more physically oriented and women’s are more emotionally oriented. And I think this is especially true after puberty, as least from what I’ve seen., that men’s emotions and women’s physical concerns tend to take the opposite form.
PART 2: With all of that said, these stereotypes are manifestations of what (typical) men and women experience.
ReplyDeleteIn the adolescent ages, the (like I said, typical) girls are always looking out for constant ways to fall in love. Love love love love love me. Always love, right? Five days with a boy, and it comes down to, "Hi. I love you." (Oh, how boring those words can be in most cases.)
While so, the boys are always looking out for constant ways to fall in the endless seas of pussy. (Excuse me). If a girl was walking down the Oakcrest hallway with nothing but a mattress strapped onto her back, the (TYPICAL) boys would chase after it as if it were a lion on a gazelle. Even if her looked like Frankenstein.
In short, it seems as if women are always looking past the horizon and into the future, while the men look for the now.
What makes me know all of this, is that I've always been closer towards the male species. I've even learned to act, talk, think and speak like them, and so, guys still often feel comfortable having 'boy talk' with me (despite my kick-ass fashion, and secret, yet overbearing feminine side).
Whenever the guys would talk to me, they would create these schemes, you know, those it-was-good-at-the-moment-sort-of-schemes. Whether it was a get-rich-fast, a mischievous, or a get-mad-girls scheme. Or even how to beat that boss in a video game. All of these things would relate mainly to the now, Usually without the thought of, "Will this really affect my future?"
Since, I've recently grown closer to the female species in the past three years, the girls have thought more about their ambitions and their futures. Even if it's something as insignificant as those how to lose fifteenth pounds in three months, it's always been about the future. Their future, or at the most, the future that surrounds them.
Men have it easier, hands down. Seemingly so, they can do whatever they please without thinking of the future. Say, they could be moy sucio and have sex with twenty girls in one week, and be praised like a roman god. If a girl did that, she would be forced to be crucified. The thing is is that men, often, shake off their pasts and laugh about what has happened. Women seem to be often portrayed as vindictive and conniving. We, women, self-create all of this high school drama that we hear of. Slut. Whore. Fat. Loser. You've heard it all.
Why is that when characters in movies are naked, women are only permitted to be in the realms of sexy, while men are punch-lines?
I've never really wanted to step in the opposite sex's shoes because frankly, I already have a button that translates all of the male 'broski' language. It would be quite humorous to wake up in a day of a male's life, but I see no desire to ever live one's life. Psht, as if I can't think like one already-- I've already got it down-pat. However, if I were a man, and asked this question, I think I would take the swap because some girls are so confusing, even to me, as a girl.
The equality of all people, no matter the race or gender, has been a continuous problem in the world since the creation of early civilizations. Gender especially has been a major conflict because half the population are classified women and half are classified men. Since the beginning, both men and women have suffered through tough afflictions, without a doubt, however the actual ordeals they experienced separate men from women.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, men and women are different enough to be classified with separate names: males and females (obviously).
Anyway, society has standards for both genders and if men and women do not follow them, they are usually noticed by those who do follow the expectations. For instance, as many of you have probably already mentioned, if a guy decides that he actually wants to take the time to look clean, fresh, and fashionable, other guys sometimes treat them differently, possibly thinking he is too feminine. The standards for men in society are commonly to be tough, fit, and they are expected to be the main providers for the family. For the most part, guys have lived up to that universal standard.
For women, however, the generalized standards are for them to stay home and take care of the children and to look good. From my experience, this is still the same in some cultures as it has been for hundreds of thousands of years. Many societies are still very patriarchal and give women absolutely no say in anything.
I don't think we were meant to decide who has it easier. Men and women have it equally difficult and equally easier. I think we were created with equal advantages and disadvantages, but society is too focused on standards that put one before the other and we do not really see them
Honestly, I would want to trade places with a guy. Not only for a new and bizarre experience, but also to understand men more. Women can never truly say they completely understand what men go through and the same with men unless they put their feet in the other's shoes.
Ladies and Gents have some sort of natural tendency to experience the same world in different ways. I blame this on two itty-bitty chemicals, testosterone and estrogen. I guess these could be considered physical differences, but I can’t remember if anyone mentioned them at all so I figured I’d throw them out there. Anyway, if those chemicals were removed from or balanced within our bodies, I believe that (in a brand new world) we would be able to more similarly experience life, although our own personal experiences would vary here and there. I do not, however, believe that the stereotypical male persona and the stereotypical female persona are natural. Tiny fragments of them might be based on fact, but the rest is simply stereotype.
ReplyDeleteThis question is particularly difficult for me to answer because, like I said, I cannot define the line between the tendencies we are born with and the tendencies we learn due to the world surrounding us. Do I feel the need to silence a crying baby because I am a female and it’s a maternal instinct or because I grew up with two younger brothers and have taken turns playing mother to them? I can’t figure it out. I certainly agree that the way I was raised makes me experience life differently from other people, men and women, but is that because my parents were raised to see it differently or because they were born with this idea already there. It’s almost a question of what came first! Because I have walked this earth for 16 years and I have seen what sort of power the media and “famous people” hold, my guess is that somewhere down the line one person got it into their head that, because their daughter liked playing with dolls all daughters should like dolls. After awhile it probably snowballed into these “standards” we now have for being a “real” man and a “perfect” girl. Thank you, pop culture. =P
****SIDE NOTE: I’m not getting into the actual stereotypes because everyone else already has and the repetition is pointless.****
As for trading places, I think it would be rather fun to be a guy for a day or two. I know what it feels like to be a girl in this stifling society, and I’d like to experience how guys are subjected to it as well (considering it’s difficult for me to see). My friends aren’t particularly hardcore about their “manhood”; they tell me things that bother them and ask me for help and they aren’t surrounded by assholes that would hold that against them. I want to know how a guy feels when he’s trying to make a new friend, what he has to pretend to be and do and say to fit in.
Last question, I think we both suffer just in different situations. Men can fight each other when they’re pissed, girls can cry when they’re sad, but we can’t cross paths in this world, as much as I frown upon it, and be accepted by the masses.
Justin:
ReplyDeleteUgh! (That’s not a mad ’ugh’ but a stumped ’ugh’) I read yours and now I’m in between of who has it easier… I also agree that all male and females go through are equally the same, but I was looking at it from different point of view, like from where I came from. I guess in this nation, where there is a lot more freedom than in any other nation, men and women have their fair share of hard times and good times. Other than that I liked what I read and how completely honest you were.
Sexy Afro Diva aka Deanna,
ReplyDeleteWhat you said about a million comments ago to me means so much. Thank you. Plus, we're going to watch Mean Girls together one of these days and I'll give you an entire J.V. Gonzales Commentary. It'll be great. Bring some popcorn.
Stephen you're not a girl, you're just a beautiful boy !
ReplyDeleteMen and women both try and break the molds of society in different ways, but the way they are viewed as activists is where the biggest difference in the way they experience the world, is seen.
ReplyDeleteWomen are supposed to act out against society. When a woman tries to fight for her rights, she automatically is seen as strong and independent and looked upon as hero. People look up to a strong woman and she has the power to influence so many people. When women finally got the right to vote, it was seen as a great feat against the oppression of society. They were all of a sudden viewed as intelligent and independent.
When men act out against society, what do people think? The answer is no longer, “Oh wow. They’re a hero! They’re trying to stand up for what they believe in!” It suddenly becomes a horrible disgrace to the race of men. When men stand up for what they believe in they are looked at as whiners. People ask themselves, “Why can’t they just accept things for the way they are?”
The other huge topic for a difference between males and females is love. So many girls are let down today because they talk to a guy and think they’re in love, but then it turns out that all he wants is a piece of ass. When the girl finally realizes that she’ll be depressed and then another guy will come around and try and make her feel better to get in her pants. It becomes a reoccurring cycle.
On the other hand, if I guy truly falls in love with a girl and cares for her more than he just cares about having sex, nobody is going to believe him. They just think he’s lying. All guys think the manly thing to do is have sex with as many girls as possible. It makes it difficult for the guy in love to prove his intentions. He only wants to make the girl happy, but nobody believes him.
Women have it easier when it comes to fighting for their rights and being accepted by society when they do so. When men act out against society to better their sex, they are looked at as a complainer. Women can act out and they are seen as an activist and a hero
When it comes to love guys have it easier. It’s practically programmed in women to fall in love. The more women fall in love, especially in high school, the more they get crushed. (p.s. this is the reason I hate high school relationships). Men on the other hand, hardly feel guilty when they use a girl. For them, they are, according to the societal view, supposed to use girls and have no emotional connection to them.
I don’t think wither sex has I easier than the other. Men and women both have sucky or great lives, depending on how you look at it.
Maryum - I love how you say that we weren't meant to decide who has it easier. That question in itself sparks most of the controversy between men and women (and people of the same sex for that matter). Its certainly a balance of scenarios and, honestly, does it really matter? So long as the laws say we are equals, let people have their oppinions.
ReplyDeleteWomen who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. –Timothy Leary.
ReplyDeleteI don’t believe that there is necessarily an extreme difference between men and woman besides appearance. We are all expected to meet some type of standard, whether it is a male or a female we all have it hard. Life is hard, I don’t believe there is any truth in pin pointing that males have it easier/harder than females.
We all share common interests it doesn’t make us any different than any other person in this world. First of all I don’t believe I portray the typical girl, I’m not afraid to be myself - sweat pants and all, a lot of the time I believe I share many characteristics of a male. The thing that bothers me the most is that the only way I’m approached by a male is if I look “bangin” and if my breast are accidently hanging out. Not all men are like this, but the majority I know (even the smart males) are pigs when it comes to treating woman right. I have never once thought that I’ve been looked down upon because I’m a woman. My best friend is a gay male, he is more feminine then I’ll ever be. I don’t think that one specific gender has life easier. He has it harder because he likes the same gender, yet I have it harder when it comes to being over-weight and being made fun of. I believe many people approach this topic wrongly and think that woman are weak because of past situations. By no means am I saying everybody thinks this but for the most part I haven’t met many people that don’t.
I’ve always been friends with the opposite gender, perhaps it’s because of my aggressive need for a good round of kick ball or my want for speed (referring to ultimate bike races), but I’ve noticed an extreme difference in our behaviors. Males seem to act on instinct while females have more emotion that involves a deeper thought process. I don’t believe that men are “rough” because of inheritance but because of how they are nurtured. If you’re a mother nursing a boy usually you provide things that are for boys and treat them more roughly then a female. I think that the colors and toys etc presented during the early years of life affect the mental process of becoming a male.
From experience I have to say that there are moments where men have been chosen over me just because of the fact that they are men, it makes me want to gag. On another note I’ve been chosen just because of the fact that I’m a female because us woman are supposed to be mentally stronger than the average male. I disagree, I believe that out of all the people I know, the males are smarter and make wiser decisions (at least when they’re not thinking in their pants). I’m pretty sure this world goes half and half on this topic, but I think we all should be treated as equal.I suppose I’d like to switch shoes with a male for a day or so, I’m more then sure my day to day experiences would be different. I’d like to see know how guys really feel when girls act stupid to impress a boy, hopefully they gag as much as I do, Plus I’d get to get changed in the boy’s locker room….. Just playing.., maybe. It’s always nice to get a taste of the other side more or less, girl power all the way.
ReplyDeleteSarah C: That's pretty pessimistic. And I hate that because of the majority of guys behaving poorly, girls begin to believe that there is no hope. Not every guy is like that. And actually, it's way harder to function the way I do (trust me on that one... I think you know the story). Guys sometimes take the easy way out. Falling in love and having it ripped away hurts(bad... really really bad), so only looking for temporary pleasures is the easier way to go. There are plenty of people than me out there though... Don't give up hope completely. That goes for everyone.
ReplyDeleteStephen (boyfriend)-
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, girls have it easier when it comes to high school drama. People always say that emotional scars hurt worse than physical ones. That's why the way girls fight is ten times worse than the way guys fight. When girls fight, they nitpick at peronality or physical traits. Trust me I know from recent experiences tha words REALLY hurt. Girls fight ten times worse than guys!
Sarah L:
ReplyDeleteYour writing is so beautiful! Anyways, I agree with you. I completely forgot to take into account of other kinds of people, like homosexuals etc. Well whatever, this was hard for me to think of. And your right you can’t judge based on gender, everybody is different and they all have their different types of struggles with the world. Yours was pretty catholic and I liked it, it wasn’t on one area of just men and women, but what the society is made up of now. Everything is indefinable just like you said.
Maryam:
To start off, I like how yours was short and to the point. Yours were like the other two I read. Ha Ha. Nonetheless I agree that “ I don’t think we were meant to decide who has it easier”. We honestly don’t. Every man and woman in this world live different lifestyles that we can’t actually claim who has it better. So it is true that men and women are equal in every way, however like I’ve mentioned (and so have you) its not that way in other nations.
Hannah Banana Montana-
ReplyDeleteI get what you said about growing up around sports. Girls trying to play an intensely athetic sport like football are not accepted. They are looked at as weird. I think the only difference in our experices as differnt sexes is inhibeted by society. When we try and break the athletic mold, society tells us that it's not what we're supposed to do, even if it's what feel right.
Oh, Stephen W!
ReplyDeleteSeeing that I often feel quite atypical compared to my own gender, I wish that stereotypes were just like completely abolished. I know that at times, I may joke around with stereotypes, but I mean, I can't ignore the complete existence of the stereotypes. Life would totally be easier if we could all see each other through our own judgments rather than creating these prejudice ways, and just assuming who someone is rather than getting to know someone.
Alex V-
ReplyDeleteI get what you're saying about our different chemical hormones controlling the way men and women think, but I think it comes down to more than that. Hnnah's blog sparked my thoughts on this one. When a girl tries to play football or any other sport that is male dominated, they are seen as either gay or weird. People don't understand that people can just play because it feels good and it's what they love. I think society makes these molds for us that we try and break all the time, but they'll never go away. If society all of a sudden switched up the gender roles, people would play along to be part of society.
(I know it sounds cliche, but it's what I feel)
Lets play a game. The goal of this game is to guess the gender of the following people named X and Y. X does not cry, and Y stays at home to clean and to care for the children. If you guessed that X is a man and that Y is a woman then you are correct.
ReplyDeleteThe answers to the first two questions are easy because our society has painted for us the perfect man and woman in addition to their stereotypical characteristics. The stereotypical man is supposed to be heroic, brawny, athletic, and unemotional. He can bring home the bacon and woo all the women in the world. On the other hand, the stereotypical woman is supposed to be beautiful, graceful, delicate, and emotional. She can utter "aww" at anything remotely cute, and cook fifty dinners under an hour. Society has also painted the pictures of the perfect man and woman. The perfect man is the stereotypical one, but the perfect woman is simply a gorgeous one.
The pursuit of gender perfection while under the repression of sexual stereotypes has caused men and woman to experience the world differently.
Men, because of their stereotypes, often achieve greater status in society or earn more income than woman do, and because of this, along with other reasons, they are expected to pay for dates. They are also expected to assume the fatherly role after impregnating a woman because doing so would be considered heroic. In response to personal attacks, men must maintain their ego and "cool guy" image by flexing all of their mighty muscles. Obesity is not a problem for men as long as they can still earn money, catch a football, and attract stunning women. Laslty, never ever can men cry.
Women can cry all they want. They can cry three times a day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Because of this emotional stereotype, women are less trusted with powerful positions in society as people believe that their emotions will fog their judgment. What some people fail to realize, however, are that some women, such as Cleopatra and Condoleezza Rice, have held powerful positions effectively. Regardless of these powerful women, women are still treated unfairly. They have to spend thousands of dollars to look like perfect celebrities by waxing every inch of their body, applying makeup to every pore in their face, exposing all their skin, spending hours to fix their hair, and by starving their bodies to stay thin. It is a ridiculous mindset that our society has developed through the promotion of achieving the perfect celebrity image.
The lives of men are easier than the lives of woman. Men do need to apply pounds of makeup or shave off hundreds of little hairs on their bodies. They can simply wake up, throw on some clothes, and begin their day. For example, I wake up only fifteen minutes before my bus arrives and still have time to brush, dress, and walk out the door. Some of my female friends, however, lose an hour of sleep every morning because they need to fix their hair and apply their makeup. Although men also have their fair share of difficulties, these difficulties are compensated for in their higher social status.
Even though men have it easier than women, I would still like to trade places with women for a brief period of time. I want to experience what they experience. I want to see what the world is like in their eyes, and understand the pressures they go through concerning appearance. Trading genders will be an enlightening experience and help me appreciate my own gender.
Kelsey- Straight up history class with the colonial reference, however totally true. Competition is human nature, and I like how you compared it to the way women and men think. I could picture people when you said "Some men can be arrogant to the point that they do not even realize what they are saying." because guys do that all the time. ughh, boys..
ReplyDeleteDylan- "I would just like to once see if that great manipulation of men were as easy as it seems." hahahah! You're blog could not of read my mind any better. I completely agree with your opinion. As I was reading other people's blogs, I felt like they were neglecting the 'manly' stereotype that you mentioned. You're a really great writer, and your sense of humor made your writing even more enjoyable.
Jon- Honestly Jon, I didn't expect your opinion to be so 'fair.' The way you explained both sexes then compared and contrasted was very accurate, and I thought it was a change for a guy to say they would change places with a girl. You could definitely hear your voice through your opinion.
KAY-TEA-G!
ReplyDeleteI've always adored your writing! It always contains all of your essences: your spunk, quirkiness, and awesomeness. I can definitely relate with you, the whole growing up with boys, that is. I have no idea when that invisible line separated the two genders, but I feel like I'm always caught in the middle!
You're completely right with the whole, girls and boys trying to impress others.
p.s. HEY! My boyfriend has a sweater-vest. -,-
I think that everything about the way men and women experience and perceive the world are different. In experience, I think men and women are judged a lot based on stereotypes. I think these stereotypes, however, are actually pretty natural. Even if the judgment is not out loud, I think men are seen based on their physical strength and capacity to work, and women based on appearance and caretaking ability, at least for the most part. I do it to; it’s worked for thousands of years and it still works now, though I think to slightly less explicit effect now(with women becoming more dominant and independent, and also with life expectancy getting longer-as in that I think older people are less subject to those judgments and more able to defend themselves against those judgments).
ReplyDeleteAs for perception, I think, like Robert F., that men and women innately perceive the world differently and that this has been studied by scientists and neuro-analysts. Anyone remember that feminist thing in health as a freshman where psychologists attacked the hardcore feminists and tried to explain how women tend to try to interact with things more while men manipulate things more, that women have a tendency to notice little things like a drippy faucet while men only react to large situations, and that women follow directions based on landmarks while men base them on where they have been last(or something like that). Well, my point is just that men and women always perceive the world differently than each other, and even if they don’t, it sure looks like it.
I don’t think either sex has it easier. I think both genders have physical and emotional problems that manifest themselves in different ways. I think girls’ problems begin in a physical sense and turn into something emotional, and I think boys’ problems begin in an emotional sense and turn into something physical (at least that’s how my problems are). If I had to pick, I’d say men have it easier, just because I feel like I’ve gone through a shitload of emotional and mental depressions, and making it into something physical just makes it simpler, and therefore easier to deal with. I can take my anger out on football and school and my walls (I punch my walls, A LOT), and that pretty much solves everything (except my mom yells at me for punching my walls, and she thinks there are a lot less holes than there actually are), or at least, it solves everything for my emotional well-being. Although it seems like the same applies for women and their physical well-being, so who knows…
I don’t really think wanting to be a girl would really solve anything for me. I not curious to see the world from a different perspective. I’m finally comfortable where I am in life. I don’t want to ruin that.
Hannah Montanna!
ReplyDeleteSorry chicka, but I have to disagree with you on who has it harder. I definitely see where you're coming from, but I feel that guys have a totally different perspective on everything, compared to us. And so, with that said, I feel that typical guys are just programed to not be melodramatic when their feelings are crushed or whatever. If anything at the most, I feel that they just give the whole, 'eff off, and let me be,' sort of attitude. However, girls are always pressured have to conform to whatever that is 'in', and so, I agree with you on that side! :)
Deanna- I have to completely agree with Kristen's response. She said exactly what was on my mind. Not all guys are morons and just realize there are genuinely caring and loving ones out there. Remember when we said we'd try harder to find the good in people? Try. :)
ReplyDeleteBut I must say, I do agree with you about the stupidity cycle. I mean, I see girls give into boys all the time by dressing a certain way. However, not all women are that way. There are many that confidently keep themselves from giving into the stupidity of those boys. I think that's one of the things that separate girls from women and boys from men.
Lauren- Your blog was fun to read, it made me laugh. :) I like how you support women, however I have to say I disagree. I'm sorry but I don't think there is actually a superior gender, society just makes it that way with all of its standards and whatnot. But hey, I want to be a guy for a day so I can eat all I want without worrying about the 10,000 calories I just consumed, haha.
Brynne- Haha, you would want "the natural running ability." Anyways though, I agree that when women gain ten pounds it seems like it's blown up as if it were a hundred pounds. There are always going to be those girls that judge you on looks and that automatically start a rumor based on appearance. They don't even have to meet you to judge you. I mean we all judge, but I have to say, sometimes, girls in particular can be the harsher judgers. But again, I do not think one gender has it better than the other overall. Maybe in specific circumstances guys have it better, but in other circumstances so do women.
Dylan-
ReplyDeleteMost of what you said is clique generalizations. However you only used the generalizations that favor men. What happened to women being the mature ones, or the care givers? I think if you talked to most women with half a brain you would find that they do take care for themselves. It would be complementing to anyone, male or female, to know that someone wants to look out for you, but many women strive to find themselves and their own place in the world. Your view of women as society’s dependents who only thrive by “the secret women code of manipulation” is insulting and not supported by anything remotely resembling proof. Women traditionally raise children and in many cultures are the glue of the family. Confucius said that the family is the basic unit and strength of any society. Without even looking at the incredible accomplishments of women that break the stereotypes, you have to acknowledge the great value and need for women. This is all to say that we aren’t just around to entertain or distract men. I can almost guarantee you that for every woman who has batted her eyelashes out of a ticket, there are far more who have never even attempted to. I’ll let you know right now: there is no “secret women code of manipulation” and I think it’s a safe bet that there are just as many men that manipulate women, as there are women that manipulate men.
HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA IS NOT THE WORLD. Life goes on , the comparison between men and woman shouldn't be swayed because of high school.
ReplyDeleteTo Kyle, Lucas, Kristen, Stephen...
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I don't go around hating the world. I don't hate men, I don't hate women. I don't think all men are morons, I don't think all women are catty. I merely meant to reflect on the idea that each generation shares the same flaws. These universal defects of human nature. I have problems understanding why humanity, myself included, can't learn from them. It just seems that mankind is at a standstill and will never get any better.
My personal conflict with this problem spans greater that the differences between men and women. I just seemed overly harsh in my blog because I invested all the emotion into the one narrow topic.
It may seem paradoxical, but although humanity annoys me, it's the only thing I believe to be worth trying to make better.
There is certainly a difference between in the way man and women experience the world. Men see a dirty old truck and see beauty, where as a girl would see a piece of junks. If a guy smells a foul odor he encourages his friends to smell it than laughs. But a girl finds that repulsive. Boys and girls also act differently when the opposite sex is not around. I don’t know for sure about women, but men when there are no girls around behave much differently. If a girl is around a guy will usually not pass gas or belch. If men didn’t have women to tell them what to do, most men would live in their own mess. If a girl isn’t going out anywhere they usually don’t worry about their looks. It’s just when the two genders meet that our views drastically change. Men are supposed to do sports, but so can girls. It doesn’t matter the gender if they have the talent to play. They should play it even if it doesn’t fit into the stereotypes of their gender.
ReplyDeleteMen are expected to be tough and women are supposed to be soft and kind. I honestly can’t remember the last time I cried. I don’t feel the need to. It doesn’t do anything to help me. Yet, a girl might just start crying for no apparent reason. They keep all their emotions locked up sometimes till they have to come out somehow.
I would rather have a girl that loves the outdoors and sports to a girl who is obsessed with their looks and shopping. A girl can almost an hour or more just to get ready for school, a guy takes minutes. I grab the first outfit that I see in the morning, even if it doesn’t match. It does not matter to us the way I look on the outside. That is only the superficial part of me. I see more beauty in a girl who wears no or a little make-up compared to one who hides her face with in. true beauty is more than skin deep.
I believe men have it easier. We don’t usually have to try as hard to impress a girl. A lot of girls are insecure of the way they look so they spend countless hours on their looks. Guys hold girls to a high standard when it comes to the way they look. It’s also looked down upon for a girl to ask a guy out. This gives guys more power over women. Women also have the ability to reject guys. If a group of guys look at a girl, than girl will think they are talking about them badly. This makes the girl more self conscientious. Boys also have the same problem with girls. Neither sex can figure out what the other one is saying about them.
I wouldn’t mind changing sexes for no more than a day. I would be better able to understand what a girl goes though on a daily basis. I would also learn what girls talk about when they are altogether. It would let me walk a mile in their shoes. It would be a life changing experience.
Kyra I totally believe in everything that you say from men dont have if any eaiser than a women. I think it is funny how people put people in these little boxes limiting them to everything it is not fair. But you made good points and deffinely back all of them up
ReplyDeleteLucas:
ReplyDeleteLucas, you and I are alike in many ways. I agree with you that people are shaped mostly by their environment, but that doesn't always have to be the case. If you want to show your emotions, the environment cannot stop you. You should say what you want, feel what you want, and express what you want. Does it even matter if people ridicule you? Those that do are jerks, and like you said, people need to find the "shining stars" but if you do not express your true self, that is one less star to count.
Kaitlin H:
Expectations suck, and you said that pretty well. However, I do not think that boys are expected to be "macho." "Machoness" is a preferred trait in men but not an expected trait. Personally, I would like to be macho just because of its strength and look benefits, but since it's not expected of me, I am not because if I had to be macho, I could be. Out of the many boys you see in school everyday, how many are actually "macho?"
Robert F:
I know exactly what you mean when you say that you are treated as an inferior man until you prove your strength. As a weak person myself, I am usually one of the last ones picked for basketball games, but once I am able to show them my athletic ability they treat me different. The good thing about this is that people give you a chance to prove yourself. I do not know about you but I particularly enjoy outperforming people's expectations of me.
i argee with Shelly life does go o, highschool will be over in a year. even if the song says, " high school never ends."
ReplyDeleteThe way men in women experience life I feel is different, but seemingly the same. Women often time get very emotional about what most men would think is not important, for example for the lost of a Gold fish and how sad they are about the lost life of an animal, but this is not to say that men do not get emotional at the same time. I feel that it depends on the persons background and who may or may not have raised then growing up. Whether their mother was a single mother and the out a little more feminine and understanding, or if the parent has showed a child tough love and they have to stay strong in all situations, effects a person’s outlook on life whether man or women. I don’t believe that anyone truly has it easier, I feel that is stereo typing to say that a man or women has it easier, because men go through just as many problems as women. I feel that sometimes men get looked at as less if they do not stay strong, but I don’t believe that that makes anyone’s situation any hardier or any less then their situation would be if they were a man or a women. I would not like to change places with the other sex, because I feel like God made me a women purposely, because he had a different plan for me in my life. I don’t want to e anything other than women, I like to be women and I am gosh darn proud of it!
ReplyDeleteDeanna N.
ReplyDelete-Thanks, I appreciate that. Now I don't feel like you'd kill me if we were locked in a room together.
Alex s- I feel that you are right in everything that you say also. Men can get to be dirty and do alot of what they want to, but then on the other hand women also can e dirty as well, and I feel be accepted just the same, but bby different groups of people. You opinons were awesome, you rock
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHannah- the way that You expressed your feelings in a great way, I feel that girls and guys can do the same things, as far as sport and everything else in this life and no one should give us limits or tell women that we can’t do everything a guy can!
ReplyDeleteSandy part two- I wish that people would feel that everyone is the same in different ways. I know that God made man and women different, but I don’t believe that he made man and women totally different in issues, other than women with child birth, but I feel that everyone has to go through painful times in life and as soon as people stop judging and start getting real violence and hate will always be around in this world.
ReplyDeleteSarah:
ReplyDeleteI was in no way saying that women aren't the care givers in a family. I was speaking in how stereotypes are presented.I said that women are considered to being below women in many instances, and actually are not. If you look I said "This very accepted view does not make the least bit of sense; women have the power to take care of themselves just fine." I know that women aren't just there to be cared for, and I was speaking only from what a stereotypical sense could relate to.That women could also be the center of the household.
In America, you are either the Alpha Male, or the Queen Bee. If you’re neither than your nobody. Boy world has completely different rules and regulations than Girl world does. When a male goes through life always being cocky, and “big” they only view things narrow mindedly, using insecurities to defend themselves against never ending stereotypes. If men, aren’t “selfish bastards” as our absolutely correct teacher said then they wouldn’t be men. In boy world someone whos chauvinistically arrogant is equivalent to successful. In personal observation, I’ve seen the “meatheads” and everyone knows how they act. However, when a male feels really comfortable with someone (Never another male) they open up, and seem almost genuine and sweet. This is when the obvious strain of the you-need-to-be-manly-24/7-and-never-cry stereotype seems to be confessed.
ReplyDeleteFor girl world, life is different. Females, never really get the chance to ever feel ‘safe,’ there’s always a threat. Females experience a confusing combination of rivalry and admiration for others and try to out do them, in order to get their acceptance. Have you ever seen those girls, that just look perfect.. They obviously aren’t but they put off such a feeling of superiority that we hate them for it. Well, they are the same ones that other girls admire. Females want to be able to that same superiority over others so that the girl that has that superiority accepts/likes her. In personal experience, living as a girl is way more difficult beyond the whole monthly period, cramps, and child birth. Being a girl, means you have to go through life being underestimated and joked about and being called “bitch,” “whore,” etc. Females are still being paid less about $1.25 when doing the same exact job as a male. We still have to fight for our rights, to even play sports. It’s not fair, but it’s the small price we pay giving us strength and power.
These examples are so ridiculously extreme, however looking through the eyes of being a girl to being a boy are just as ridiculous. For the “nobodies” aka the boys who are upfront sweet, and the girls who don’t get jealous, they are the people who are connected. You can’t always be so aggressive, which is why these people experience situations with open minds. Being male as opposed to female, is almost as hard… not really, but I’m sure it could be stressful. The you-need-to-be-manly-24/7-and-never-cry stereotype would probably be the most difficult aspect, however if females can take all the aggravation of girl world, then that’s a piece of cake. Would I ever switch places and be male for a day? I think I would. Everyone needs a day of relaxation. ;)
Kyle:
ReplyDeleteAhaa, don't worry. I respect you more than you could ever know for just being you and having confidence in that.
Please excuse the ambiguity of the following statements in this blog, Confused Bunje Bloggers. However, hopefully, by the end of this blog you will understand some of the confusing rant that I am about to embark on.
ReplyDeleteThough the experiences are the same, the eyes through which ones sees the events are greatly biased by gender. When it comes down to basically everything, ones point of view is imperative in deciphering the importance of issues. However in our sexist world, most of our points of views ooze of gender bias.
Probably all of us have watched the heart-wrenching Titanic. During this movie, I cried my tiny little heart out, using every tissue available. Yet my male cousin heartlessly laughed off Jack’s death and commented that if he were in that situation, he would have sat on the door and would have let Rose freeze her fat butt. Though this comical example is on a minute scale, it portrays some of the archetypical gender restrictions that are placed on both male and females.
Men can not cry, under any circumstance, in our society. Especially not for something as trifle as a sappy movie. They have to prove themselves to be REAL MEN. Real men don’t cry, but rather comfort their delicate wives and her girlfriends, who are permitted to cry over basically anything. Real men are supposed to be chivalrous, such as my darling Jack, and risk their lives for that of not only the women they love but that of complete strangers’ as well. Women, on the other hand, are allowed to be selfish. They can constantly take from their chivalrous Men and given the task of being the classic Damsel in Distress. Can you imagine, what we would have thought of poor Jack if he had not given that door to Rose?
Yet, though, men have to act a certain way most of their lives, they definitely do not have the worst of it. Women are always thought less of. They are considered weaker, insuperior to Men. Hardly any women’s success is honored in our society. Any woman that is ahead in her field is not really the best. Any woman that receives a promotion must have slept with her boss to get the job. Society always attempts to belittle the accomplishment of the successful woman. Take for instance the remarkable fast Jamaican runner. Yet our society could not allow her to have her accomplishments. Instead, they ridiculed and belittled her by accusing her of not being a woman but a man. Sickening, right? It’s as if when women take one step forward, we are kicked five steps back.
Though I love being a female, I would love to see the world from a male’s perspective. We really are from TWO COMPLETELY different planets. From birth, we are molded to the views of society, whether it’s taught or just picked up. I want to know their hardships. To feel their pain. I want to see how they REALLY view issues, not just the scared, watered-down version they tell in the presence of the feministic girls in the class. I truly believe that the only way one can learn about someone is by walking in their shoes (YOU SAID IT EMINEM!).
Comments
ReplyDeleteTo Paola: You are so right about women never feeling "safe". Girls always have this secret competation goingon. Who has the best hair? Who is getting all the boys? Even I have taken a part of this shameless girly act. I constantly take hits at myself when a pretty girl walks into the room. I constantly compare myself to every girl in the room.
Sandy: The way you are brought up dictates a significant portion of not only your personality but of your beliefs.As joey said in a previous blog, you are who your parents raise you to be (most of the time) But comeon, how can you say that no one has it easier?! With the risk of sounding like the classic annoying girl, Boys DO NOT have it as bad as us!
Kyle S: I am going to hang my head in shame and admit that I judge Boys exactly as you said. If they are not as physical fit, i have tendency to believe they are lazy bums who sit on their butts all day. I know that is very wrong for me to allow this steortypes to influence my thoughts, however I am going to be real and man up (so to speak) to my crimes.