Over the past few months, we have begun the process of trying to make sense of who we are, what we believe and what morals, values and ideas we are trying to develop. Doing this, while sometimes extremely stressful and dare I say even aggravating, is an integral part of determining our place in the world. For those of you sitting at your computers week after week, cursing me to the fiery pits of the abyss for coming up with questions that make your brains bleed, please know that the reasons above are my motivation. Now, with that said, onto this week's brain blaster!
"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith."
First, in your own words, interpret that quote from Mary Manin Morrissey.
Now that your interpretation is finished, and again, in your own words, ones that make the most sense to you, define for me the idea of "fear." It means different things to different people; what does it mean to you?
What is your biggest fear? What keeps you awake at night?
Is whatever your fear now the same as it was when you were a sophomore, a freshmen, an eighth-grader? How has the idea of fear evolved for you? What do you notice about the evolution? From where do you think this fear comes?
How often do you stop yourself from doing something because of fear? Do you ever regret not doing what you wanted to do?
When, if ever, is fear a good thing to feel? Why?
How do you deal with it?
A lot of scary questions, I know. Do your best.
(450-500 words/60pts)
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I’m afraid of the dark. Although dangerous fear exceeds chattering teeth, sweaty palms, and paranoid eyes as I feed the goats past dark, my eroded enamel provides great insight into the definition of fear. Fear is pessimistic uncertainty creeping its way into my, or anyone’s, mind, spreading its wiry roots, grabbing onto anything I give it, and manifesting itself in my actions and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteWhen Mary Manin Morrissey said, “You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith,” she described the potential affect of fear. Fear is parasitic; the bigger it grows, the more my fighting spirit dwindles. Fear is potentially crippling. Even though a playfully colored flowerbed of fear is perfectly healthy, Fear’s roots may grab a strong enough hold, it becomes overgrown and absorbs sunlight, nutrients, and space for itself, keeping these things from its opposite, which is optimism in the face of uncertainty, or faith.
But, as Morrissey points out, fear only smothers faith when we allow it to do so. Fear, like any parasite, needs something off which it can thrive. When a person feeds it doubt, low self-esteem, negative feedback, hesitations, and a myriad of endless contributors, fear will grow and eventually dominate the presence of faith.
Faith, on the other hand, is what enables a person to push through the looming uncertainty associated with any daunting task. No one knows exactly how or where the journey to a dream may end. But confidence, lessons learned, and outside support propel the dreamer into a journey to either succeed or fail. However, a deeply faithful person knows that a supposed failure has its benefits and therefore isn’t really a failure at all.
It’s interesting that this question was posted today. My psychology class discussed the idea of latent content in dreams this morning. After describing both my most vivid dream and my most recurring dream, it was evident that both were a reflection of a fear I already knew I had: the fear of letting people down.
I’m generally a good goalkeeper, but I occasionally allow my fear to affect my play. Every now and then, when the opposing team sends a ball soaring through the box, just inside my range, I think, “What if I mess up?” I think about how the goal will be wide open. I think about how the twelve college coaches on the sideline will shake their heads in disapproval. I hesitate. And if there’s one rule to goalkeeping, it’s this: don’t hesitate. Usually, the other team doesn’t capitalize off of a ball like this because luckily, I’m a good keeper on my line in the face of pure reaction saves. But I miss the chance to state my presence. I miss the chance to demonstrate my impressive range on crosses. I let my own fear get in the way of putting a little fear in my opponent.
But fear isn’t always deterrence. I guess this is where I deviate from Morrissey’s words. As Jonny Wilkinson, an extremely attractive English rugby player once said, “I play with the fear of letting people down. That’s what motivates me.” Even after a severe series of injuries, Jonny Wilkinson returned, and in his first international match in four injury-riddled years, he broke a scoring record and won “Man of the Match.” Fear is powerful motivation.
ReplyDeleteWhen I play soccer, I worry about letting people down. Although this fear has kept me from taking some necessary game-time risks, I know that I will only let other people, and myself, down if I don’t work as hard as I can and perform the best I know how. Fear may sometimes stifle my faith, but it has been a driving force behind the accomplishment of my dreams.
PART 1
ReplyDeleteFear is a dark cloud that rains on your dreams, deteriorating them. Fear is a sea during a storm that engulfs your beach house, dragging it into its shadows in pieces. Fear is a fire that burns all your possessions to ash. Fear can get in the way of dreams and ruin them forever, making them unachievable. Fear is a dreadful disease that has the ability to paralyze you, restricting you to a wheelchair for the rest of your life. Faith is the only thing that can allow you to overcome this dreaded disease. With faith, you will walk again. And maybe even run. Faith can keep you going, allowing you to achieve the impossible. Fear always exists, but so does faith. Just don’t let fear outweigh your faith and your dreams can become a reality.
Fear is a constricting force that has the ability to overwhelm you by just the thought of it. I have many common fears that I’m sure I share with many people, like the unknown beneath me in the ocean and needles. However, I also have a large fear of dying before I get the chance to do what I want to in life and never finding the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with. Every night, when I’m in bed trying to go to sleep, I do a lot of thinking. Generally, my thoughts include various images that I hope to see in my future, whether it’s the near future or many years into the future, just things I want to do. I also think about things that happened in my past though. I analyze these events, studying what I did and what its effects were. I see these as learning experiences. When reaching for something, you must fall a few times before you can grab it.
My fears definitely have changed over my years. My fears have become more complex and I’ve become more fearful of them. While my biggest fears used to include the ocean’s depths and needles, these are now minor fears in my book. My fears are now more complex, filled with things that have the potential to mold the rest of my life. Little fears like the seaweed wrapping around my leg and my arm being sore for a day don’t affect me as much as the fear of not being completely happy in my life. I have the dream of one day being happy with every aspect of my life, well the majority of them at least. However, the fear opposite of this stands in the way. It eats at me, but I have faith that it’s possible. Although at the moment, it seems as if the fear is outweighing the faith, hopefully in the future, there will be a flip.
This awful fear stems from not being happy with what I’ve done so far in my life. My biggest goals and dreams have never become realities. I don’t know if I dream too big or if it’s just not destined to happen. My other great fear of not finding the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with stems from that little emptiness I’ve always had. I’ve never had a guy that was with me one hundred percent, who liked everything about me. And if that guy existed, maybe I didn’t feel the same way. Everyday I see other people with people who they are happy with, people who complete them, filling that tender part of their heart. To never have this makes me fearful that it won’t ever happen. If I don’t take a practice run in my high school years, how will I find the real thing in the real world? Questions like this trigger that fear inside me.
PART 2
ReplyDeleteNot too often do I stop myself from doing something because of these fears. I usually try to overcome them and get as much experience as I can. I try my best to live my life without regrets. After all, everything has its own cause and effect and if a certain bad effect didn’t happen, it would have never been the cause of a later positive effect. Fear, however, can be a good thing in instances where fear is standing in the way of something that can lead to your dream. For example, if you’ve always had this fear of needles, but had a dream of traveling to Africa, overcoming that fear of needles to get the vaccination to travel to Africa to achieve your dream is so rewarding. Overcoming a fear makes you feel a thousand times better about something you’ve achieved because of it. Even though in the moment, it may seem like the fear is taking over with its terror, that negative feeling adds an extra positive in the end when your dreams are achieved.
"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith."
ReplyDeleteThis quotes means that when people fear something, they sometimes let it slow them down or they hold back because they scared of what people may think or something along those lines. You may know that know that you can do it, but because you’re scared you don’t through with it, and you can miss out.
For me personally, this stands true. I have many fears like in material things; I am petrified of bugs (they are defiantly my biggest fear). I hate every type, from an ant or lady bug to a bee or spider or bubble bee. I think they’re creepy and gross. I have never had a good experience with them. I also don’t really like heights, so I miss out and don’t ride roller coasters with my friends. But what example of one of my fears that makes this quote true is stage fright. I am fine with speaking in front of people, but I don’t ever sing. I love to sing in the shower though and I’m not bad either, my sister has told me because she has heard me. But ask me to do it for you, I can’t. If I didn’t have this fear, I guarantee I would do drama and participate in the school plays. I see how much fun it is and I’m like I could do that, just the dancing and acting part. So I let my fear and let it over come from me from doing something I really want to do. I also know someone who didn’t want to lip sync with me because she is scared of what people will think and then she let her fear take over and she missed out on a potential fun opportunity.
Yes, I am scared of bugs and heights and singing in front of people, but as I get older I have more internal fears that sometimes keep me up at night. I lay awake and have trouble sleeping because I analyze my day, I make sure I did all my homework and I think about what tomorrow will entail. I know these aren’t fears, but I do this because I’m scared of failing or letting someone down. I get it from my dad, he says he always analyzes the next potential day so if something happens he is ready for anything and won’t fail. I am scared of letting people down, my parents and my friends. I failed math last marking period and some nights I lay awake thinking about what my parents would say and what I say to them. If a friend and I are in a fight and it isn’t resolved in that night I can not sleep or function because I’m scared about the next day and seeing and not knowing what to do. If I don’t know what to do about something I just can’t focus on anything. My fear doesn’t hold me back from anything or allow me to miss out, its just who I am. My fear sometimes drives me to not fail and to make sure everything is secure with my friends. I’m just a paranoid, worrisome person.
It is natural for everyone to have fear. Our experiences can instill fear and that is healthy. We can learn and avoid bad situations because of our fears. If I weren’t scared, I wouldn’t care about my grades. If I weren’t scared, I would be playing in the dirt with bugs and who knows I could land myself in an inferno of fire ants! I’m a scaredy cat, but I rarely get hurt and I avoid things that could put me in danger. But there is always a bad part to everything. I miss out on rollercoasters and I could be too scared to fail that I stress too much and then I am staying up doing homework instead. So I do my best to find the in between. Go to Six Flags and ride some of the roller coasters, save some homework for stomach hall, always check up on my friends, I still keep my singing to the shower, but I'm singing and that is what makes me happy, and with the bugs, I’m working on that.
Meg- Your fears are kind of good yet beneficial at the same way. It's good you worry about certain things because some people don't and that's when they start to slack off. But try not to worry too much about stuff because if you go back and think about some things you've worried about you'll probably realize it was a waste of time. That's what happens to me alllll the time.
ReplyDeleteAnd megan why did you write "stomach hall" in your last paragraph haha I think you mean study hall? Were you hungry at the time???
ReplyDeleteKaitlin- I completely agree how overcoming your fears is rewarding, so in the end it's good to have fears. If nobody had fears then I don't think life would be as fun because we get the chance to overcome a challenge and feel better about ourselves. And I also like how you try and live without regrets because that's what I focus on like all the time!
ReplyDeletePeople get scared to pursue their dreams when they realize that they might have to work harder than expected or that they have a chance of failing. Sometimes we don't stop to think about the chances we have of succeeding because fear blocks it out. People don't like to fail or face something they don't like, so they just don't try anymore.
ReplyDeleteFear to me is more of a verb and its being afraid of something that can possibly happen. An actual height won't scare me, I will just fear falling. The dark doesn't scare me either, I will just fear some murderer or something popping out.
My biggest fear is losing my brother in any type of way. Recently we're really close and we hang out all of the time. He's like a dad to me in a way, but a really super cool one who not only drives me to my friend's houses, but he stays and hangs with us too because we have the same friends pretty much. He doesn't know it, but I look up to him so much and he's my idol. My brother Carl is always so calm in any situation, no matter how traumatic. I don't know how he does it. If something ever happened to him I don't know what I'd do. My dad only talks to my step mom and my step brother and sister only talk to each other and their mom (they don't like me). I would feel alone in a family of five, which is pretty hard to do.
I've never really had this fear before. I just developed it over the summer when my dad was always out so all me and Carl had was each other. We realized we had so much in common and started to share friends and come closer than ever. We're only 18 months apart in age, and we both endured some pretty horrible things the previous December, so we basically matured around the same time. Because of this, we realized it's better to be friends rather than the enemies that we were. This fear comes from previously losing the most important person in my life. Now, I don't want to loose my other most important person. I think about this all of the time and various situations that could happen and what my life would be like without Carl.
ReplyDeleteFear never stops me from doing anything. I'm not scared of injury because it happens to me a lot from playing sports. Bugs don't scare me because they're like two inches long and I'm like 30x their size. Nothing else really comes to mind when I think of fear. I love roller coaster, scary movies, and heights.
Fear isn't always bad, because if we're scared of entering a pit of alligators, well then that's beneficial because we can stay alive that way. I think fear has a lot to do with common sense and our opinions on certain things, such as bugs. I don't really have a way to deal with my fears because there's nothing I can do but stay close with my brother so I don't regret not ever spending time with him. That happened with my mom and I don't want it to happen again. Regret is the worst thing to deal with. Now that I think about it, I fear regretting things a lot.
Jourdan- I'm lovin what the attractive rugby player said, I sometimes think about that when I'm playing soccer. When I miss a goal or mess up a play, I think to myself "Wow, I just let down the whole team and Hearn" and I get really mad at myself. It motivates me to do my best for the rest of the game so I know it won't happen again.
ReplyDeleteEven though we have never met, Mary Manin Morrissey just described me in fifteen words. I agree with her completely and wish that I could shrink my fear and increase my faith in order to accomplish my dreams.
ReplyDeleteOne of the ways I defined myself in last weeks blog was by giving examples of what I am and am not afraid of. “Conventional” fears such as bugs, clowns, and public speaking don’t frighten me. I’m not suggesting that I have no fears, because that’s awfully fallacious. I have my moments, but I’m no Wonder Women, either.
My biggest fear is failure. In the pool, in the classroom, in life in general.
No one likes to fail, but I get sick to my stomach about it. A few weeks ago I swam in York, PA at a small meet. I was sitting behind the blocks before my 400 IM getting ready for the race. All I could think about was yesterday’s arduous (☺) practice, and how every muscle in my body ached. Then came the infamous “what if’s.” What if I don’t go a best time? What if my legs hurt worse than they do now and I can’t kick? What if I just can’t swim butterfly today? What if, what if, what if! Needless to say, I swam the 400, only added a few seconds to my personal best, didn’t die, and finished. However, the race could have been A LOT better. I set myself up for failure because I’m afraid of it. I guess I subconsciously think that if I set a goal to fail and accomplish it, I really won’t be failing at all.
Fear is anything, (a creature, person, object, idea, state of mind, event…) that makes a person act differently than they normally would, usually because they believe the “thing” is dangerous, a threat, or will cause them pain. On the other hand, I believe that fear is a state of mind that takes over and makes the possible seem impossible. When you break through the wall of fear, anything can happen.
I have always been afraid to fail, but never to this degree. From eighth grade through sophomore year, I had petty fears. They were so meaningless I can’t even remember them now. I think my fear of failing comes from my borderline OCD personality and my quest for perfection. I’m exaggerating a little, but you get the point. I hate when things aren’t exactly how they’re supposed to be, which is why I think I’m afraid of failing. They’re essentially the same in my eyes. If something isn’t flawless, it’s failure.
I often think that my fear of inadequacy will be the downfall of my swimming career. I feel like I’ve missed many opportunities to swim fast because I’m afraid of not swimming a best time, or being in pain. It sounds foolish, but I can’t get the negative thoughts out of my head. Also, I regret that I don’t always swim as well I train because of my fears. In this case, fear is never a good thing. I wish that I could be completely confident in myself and my ability and not allow my negativity to effect me, but fear always gets in the way.
I try to accept the fact that failure is one of my fears, but I can’t help to want to overcome it and move on with my life in a positive direction.
J-Say:
ReplyDeleteI LOVED how you compared fear to a tree with its deep roots and colorful flowers. It made so much sense. I have the same problem as you, though. The “what if’s” haunt me, too! I always feel like something is going to go wrong and I’m going to fail/let myself down/let other people down/look like an idiot. However, we’re strong people and we WILL beat our fears! Awesome blog!
P.S. Johnny Wilkinson is F.I.N.E.
Kaitlin:
I can totally relate with your Africa/needles thing. Whenever I had to get a shot or have blood taken, I would cry like a baby. Seriously! I would wail and wail and make a fool of myself in front of the entire doctors office. Finally, I was fed up with being a chicken, so I conquered my fear at the blood drive. It felt really good knowing that in order to help people; I got over my fear of needles. Fabulous blog!
Megan:
I agree with Hannah. It’s good to be afraid of some things because they motivate you to work harder. I don’t really know you that well, but I had no idea you liked to sing! Lindsay/Man Hands sings all of the time, too, except she’s not that good.
I am afraid of planes. I am afraid of heights. Nudity scares me. I hate myself when I eat fatty foods because I’m scared of dying from breast cancer. I am afraid of dying unexpectedly. I am horridly afraid of being raped and killed. At night, I’m scared of being possessed or murdered by a spirit. I’m afraid of growing up, afraid of my brothers growing up for innocence is too beautiful to be lost. Few things scare me more than misunderstanding. I’m scared of having my soul attacked because of it. I am afraid of love. I am afraid of disappointment. I’m afraid of killing myself in my dreams and that doing so might kill me in real life. Competition scares me. It’s a long list, and I know I have missed the multitude of things that also scare me. Yes, I confess wholeheartedly that I am afraid of all of these things --
ReplyDelete-- And yet I have no fear.
For Kale Nagasaki, fear doesn’t exist. I define fear similar to the quote: it only exists when it stops you from moving forward. Just as Alexis defined intention as only real when followed through, fear only exists when you let it limit you. And that’s why, as stated before, I have no fear. I never let it exist. I never give it room to exist. I never it let breathe. I never let what I’m afraid of cease my action. Yes, I am afraid of planes, but I will go to Japan nonetheless. Yes, at night, the thoughts of rape and murder scare me, but yet I sleep for eight hours a night happily. The concept of growing up does scare me without a doubt, but I remain true to my soul anyway and can even say I feel like I’m getting younger. Competition makes me unnaturally anxious, but I played on the tennis team and mentally dominated every time. I am afraid to love, but that doesn’t stop me from loving everyone I can a little too much. Everything I do is marked by the essence of Kale Nagasaki. Everything I do, I do fearlessly.
That’s not to say it was always this way. Especially in seventh grade, fear was real. Oh boy, was it real. I watered down my essays so I wouldn’t be noticed for fear of being picked on. I didn’t tell anyone my test scores for fear of being called haughty. Worse of all, I tried hard to contain my laugh. When I was younger, I had used to laugh as if everything was funny. Not in seventh grade. In seventh grade, I tried to become nothing. I hated, feared being made fun of, so I analyzed everything I did to make it more acceptable to my peers. I was afraid of not being understood, liked. Why was I so vulnerable to my fear then? I had always been liked, to put it in the least arrogant way possible. I was never idolized or excessively loved, but people generally liked me when I was just me. Kids at that age don’t really have the capacity to hate. That changed in seventh grade and I lived with fear because of it. Now, it just doesn’t matter anymore. I guess Kale Nagasaki figured out her worth.
And to me, now is all that really matters. I am fearless because fear does not exist to me. I can do anything I want. Anything. I discipline myself, I work hard, I work hard, I work hard. Fear is no longer an obstacle. It can never be a good thing because, according to my definition, I don’t have it anymore. I think this shows that how I grew was all just a growth in perception. In seventh grade, my worth was determined by the people around me. Now, I know exactly who I am, what I want, and I won’t tolerate anyone attempting to stop me. Nothing, absolutely nothing, stops Kale Nagasaki from being Kale Nagasaki. For me, you might as well categorize fear with unicorns, Atlantis, mermaids and Big Foot.
Fear is one of the fundamental driving forces of the human psyche, which when left unchecked can possess a person completely, rendering the person incapable of rational or creative thought. This is what I think Mary Manin Morrissey means by her words: you cannot manifest dreams when you live in fear.
ReplyDeleteFear is a biological response to a real dilemma. Fear is the sickness rising into your chest when you know (or think you know) that you will never make it. Fear is the icy grip that makes your sweat feel like beads of ice when you are faced with the unknown. To me, fear is purely logical – my biological reaction to things that make me nervous is minimal. I do not have irrational fears, fears that are recurring. I don’t even fear things that I should really be afraid of, which really isn’t a good thing, since fear is useful most of the time. It keeps us alive. But no, I don’t remember ever having fear, not even when death hovered over my bed for days and nights at a time. My familiarity with death, sensing death being near (be it for me or someone/something else), knowing death as a grisly transition and transformation, these things probably are what makes me so fearless, from a logical standpoint (I have no idea why I have no discernable emotional reaction to fear). I am used to facing the unknown, and usually by gazing long enough into darkness it takes a shape that I can understand. When you understand, you no longer need to have fear.
Robert: I agree. People fear what they don’t understand, and it’s based in instinct. We like what’s familiar because we can live through it. What’s unfamiliar poses a threat to our existence. Naturally then, fear makes us react violently to eliminate the unknown, which ensures us our existence. I guess since you’re analyzing it logically, fear is a good thing. That perception never even crossed my mind, so I’m glad I decided to read your blog. Because I’m a all-emotion person, fear came off to me as a limiting evil. But yes, I can definitely see it as being a instinctive cautionary warning. Very insightful Robby :]
ReplyDeleteLauren: It’s so funny how you keep mentioning perfect and this fear of failure. If it makes you feel any better, during Davies, I remember always thinking that you were perfect, haha. I hadn’t known you at all then, but you always seemed flawless. I also remember thinking freshman year ,after I got to know your personality through the classes we shared, “Wow, she’s still perfect.” :] Even with your flaws Lauren, you’re still perfect simply because you’re Lauren Day and the world needs a Lauren Day. I understand your fear of failure and disappointment. I shared that tremendously in middle school. I don’t know exactly where it went, but maybe you’ll drop your fear too and know that no matter what, you’ll never disappoint me. :D
Hannah: “Fear never stops me from doing anything.” I’m so glad I wasn’t the only person that put that, haha. I could never fully understand what you went through, but I think I understand what you mean about fearing regret. It sucks to know you missed an opportunity. From what I know of your personality, I really like that you and your brother are close. I think its beneficial to you both. And lastly, I love your explanation of why you don’t fear bugs. “I’m like 30x their size.” I agree, and yet, when I rolled over in my bed last week and was face to face with this HUGE cricket, I jumped back like 50 feet. You’re a brave soldier, Hannah.
It happens every day. A self-doubting fifth grader forgets succumbs to stage fright at school play auditions, forgetting her lines and loosing the part. A freshman boy, scared of denial, doesn’t ask his crush to Semi. She ends up going with his best friend. A little girl dreams of riding grand prix, but never does more than trot because she lacks confidence in her ability to keep a horse between her legs and the ground. These “could have beens” exemplify Mary Morrissey’s idea that "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." In essence, she’s saying that when someone’s fear of failure outweighs their confidence in their ability to succeed or to overcome a particular obstacle (or, depending on the interpretation of “faith”, their belief that a higher power will see them through), they be unable to achieve their goal.
ReplyDeleteFear is a feeling of dread that sets in when a person is made uncomfortable by a thing or concept that they believe is somehow dangerous. Not all fear is created equal, however. It varies in intensity based on how threatening a given person perceives a particular situation to be. For instance, while being ten feet above the ground reduces me to a quivering mess, others would only be slightly nervous skipping across the wing of a flying airplane. While fears can fade over time (Does the monster under your bed leave you shaking anymore?), fear has a tendency to grow like a virulent weed. A fear often starts out small, an innocent seedling: Suzy sees a spider and shies away. But, as time goes on new experiences and observations add to the fear—Suzy walks under a tree and a spider drops on her head—and the plant grows stronger. Eventually, either many experiences accumulate, something dramatic happens (a spider bites Suzy), or the mind dwells on a topic enough, skewing it into something more significant than reality (but every bit significant to the person), and the weed takes over. Perhaps Suzy’s fear makes her go out of her way to avoid any area where a spider may dwell (trees, garages, attics, closets…), or perhaps one of the “could have beens” never sees his or her dream come true. Either way, the point is that fear has the power to consume, and when it does, the results can be devastating.
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ReplyDeleteMy biggest fear has to be growing up. As soon as senior year summer ends, my life is going to change dramatically, and I’m not so sure I like that at all. What’s happening after the summer after next? Let’s break it down:
ReplyDelete*Chances are good I’ll be going away to college. With people I don’t know. In a town with which I’m unacquainted… possible in a state 6 hours away from home. Away from my family and friends. Having to accept tons of new responsibilities and think entirely for myself. The root of my fear is being forced to face the unfamiliar. While this is an important part of growing up, finding yourself, blah blah blah blah blah, I can’t help thinking that I’ll feel like a huge part of me died. Family dinners, holiday traditions (Christmas, Thanksgiving), my pesky brother, living on 100 acres of trees, having my parents to watch my back… I don’t know how I’ll live without it.
*Hopefully, I’ll still be riding. Problem? No, it’s great. The issue is how, what, where, with whom, and at what level I will be riding. Will I be able to afford to ride at all? Really, it’s all I want to ever do, but you the sport comes with a huge price tag so unless I win the lottery I’m going to have to get a real job. I’m terrified that I will spend the rest of my life working for some job I really don’t want to. I also have no clue how to make it to the “big leagues” of the horse world, so to speak. When it comes time to choose a college, do I stay local (and maybe not go to the best school for me) and ride with the one instructor I never want to leave? Problem is, I’d be stuck with one or two max horses to ride and parents who don’t want to drive to (and possibly don’t want to or can’t afford to pay for) more competitive shows? Do I go far away to college so I can ride on a varsity team for little money, meet tons of contacts in the horse world, and get experience working with a plethora of horses but leave NJ and the benefits of staying home behind? I guess the root of the issue is having to make major, life altering decisions that will leave no one but me to blame if things go wrong. If I knew which path would take me to my goal, I’d pick it in a heartbeat. But nothing is black and white. My options spill in front of my eyes in murky grays, so I guess I’ll just have to keep trudging on and see where life takes me
I haven’t always had these fears. The fact that such a dramatic change in my current, well loved, mode of life is relatively imminent has just brought the harsh reality of growing up into the front of my mind as of late. Naturally, with it, have come fears.
I feel like I often stop myself because I’m afraid. For example, the fear of sounding like a dummy who has no idea what she’s talking about frequently stops me from raising my voice in school. Many would be shocked to know that I my dad and I often spend what seems like hours arguing over anything from whether or not Obama’s idea of lengthen the school day would be effective to today’s topic: whether or not it’s a smart idea to eat a wrinkly pear that has, no lie, been sitting in the fridge for more than a month (it he gets sick, he can’t say I didn’t warn him). But when that sense of comfort wanes, fear of embarrassment and failure sets in and my mouth zips shut even when a part of me really does want to speak up. In this situation, and others, I usually regret not doing what I wanted to, and I’m trying to let my fear go, but that’s going to take some time.
This is not to say that holding myself back is always a bad idea. Fear can, in some instances, be acceptable, even beneficial. For example, I’ve always been afraid of getting sick and, ever since swine flu started making headlines, I have washed my hands or used a wipe religiously before eating. While I may more concerned than I should be, I think it’s better to err on the side of caution in situations like this where the good (avoiding illness) obviously outweighs the bad (being slightly over-vigilant when it comes to staying germ-free).
Deanna:
ReplyDelete“For Kale Nagasaki, fear doesn’t exist. I define fear similar to the quote: it only exists when it stops you from moving forward.”
I love this concept! That’s a really positive way to look at things, and it’s a great attitude to take when you’re trying to accomplish a goal. I’m not sure if it applies to me so much (my fears have held me back), but if it did I would still have to classify my fears as something; whether it hinders me in the grand scheme of things or not, I can’t just brush off the shaking in my legs when I’m too far from the ground for comfort or the near-fainting state into which the mere sight syringes and catheters can send me. I guess fears could be labeled more mildly as nervousness, something that, though it may act as a small speed bump on the road to success, is not permanently debilitating.
Robert:
“Fear is the icy grip that makes your sweat feel like beads of ice when you are faced with the unknown.”
Nice. I really like your description of fear; it often manifests itself tangibly, and I like how you portrayed that. Also, I’m glad you brought up fear and the unknown. In every situation I can think of, the two are inextricably linked. I guess the important thing for people to remember (myself included—I struggle with this) is that the unknown isn’t necessarily bad. Wonderful, beautiful surprises that are not only preferable to our fears but also superior to our greatest hopes can be waiting there for us, if only we dare to step forth.
Hannah: yea i was hungry!! woowwww I am so dumb!
ReplyDeleteI fear many things. I am often called a “scaredy cat” or “scared rabbit” because I let these fears control me. I watch what I say, refrain from doing certain things, and even push away careers that I would be very good in all because of my fears.
ReplyDeleteBefore I continue with my beliefs on fear, let me dive into my interpretation of Mary’s quote. “You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” Letting your fears grow stronger than your faith is a horrible things to do. When my Mommom died, when I was 8, I was so afraid to love anyone else that I stopped loving everyone. This includes my parents, brothers and sisters, nieces, cousins, aunts and uncles, and friends. I even turned my back to God. Mary makes a wonderful point in the quote. Turning my back on God was probably the worst thing I could have done. Turning my back on him, I turned my back on my dream of some day getting over my Mom mom’s death. I turned myself against everyone and that was not what I wanted at all. Mary is trying to make the point that when you stop believing, your dreams don’t come true. You have to have faith and hope for dreams to come true. By allowing your fears to conquer those hopes and dreams, they disappear and you are left alone and … well scared.
As I stated above, I am afraid of many things. I am afraid of spiders, tall males, being alone, being in the dark, loving people, trusting people, growing up, and even losing people. All of these fears are backed up by something, I swear. My father almost died from a spider bite. I can easily be over powered by big males and easily taken advantage of and I do not want to be alone for that exact reason. Loving and trusting people usually causes me to feel a lot of pain because, apparently, I never give my trust and love to the right individuals.
Lastly, I am pretty afraid of things that I am unsure about. I don’t like to just… not know things. I prepare myself for every major change in my life, heck, and even every minor change. So for things like growing up, I am not sure how to prepare myself. So, I am not quite sure what to expect and that scares me.
ReplyDeleteMost of my fears, as I stated above, come from past experiences. I am an unusual person. I base a lot of my present and future decisions on things that have occurred in the past. However, unlike most people, the past is a major deciding factor in my decision making. The reason for this, like I again have already stated, is that I like to be prepared. Surprises, except from Christmas and my birthday, are not things that float too well with me.
The only real evolution about my fears is that they get more complex. As a child, I feared asking the cashier at Mc Donald’s for extra sauce just because he or she seemed to be in a bad mood or looked scary. Now my fear of approaching people is much more complex. I do not know what kind of mood they are in or what has been bothering them all day. I don’t know if the guy with his right hand hiding in his jacket is about to rob Wawa or just scratching his ribs.
I suppose most of my fears are based on my number one fear, Death. It is probably just another fear formulated from my discomfort with the unknown, but I have this idea that my life is valuable. For a long time, I actually did not think I was any more important than the kid sitting next to me, but someone told me, I am not going to say any name *cough* Mr. Johnson *cough*, that “every life is special, every life has a meaning. The sooner you know what yours is, the more important your life will become.” It was at that time that I realized that I needed to care more about myself and my well being… and so my fear of death was born.
ReplyDeleteI can thank Mr. Johnson for opening my eyes to a lot of things, however, my father may be the person who instilled in me the reason why fear is so important. As most of you already know, I take karate. Owww Ahhh…. Karate chop, blah blah blah. But my father, being the instructor, taught me much more than flying kicks and choke outs. My father is a very philosophical man. He is a Buddhist, as most of you remember from Ms. Daube’s class. He also taught me something that I truly believe to be 100% true. “Fear is our body or nature’s way of telling us to pay attention.” To make than more clear, let me explain. He means that when we suddenly become scared and intimidated, there is a reason. We may not really be sure why, but our body is telling us we should watch out. An example would be if you were walking down a dark, run-down street in Atlantic City in the middle of the night. Wouldn’t you be a little scared? There may be no reason to be scared, no people walking around, no gun shots, no street fights, but you are scared. You may start looking around and checking behind your back just because you want to be safe. This is what my father is saying.
I believe that. Fear is our body’s way of telling us to wake up and pay attention. It is our body’s way of trying to prevent something awful from happening. However, some people are just afraid of everything. They jump when the wind catches the curtain and makes a little shake. They cling to the ceiling when the music in a movie suddenly blares. They even sleep with the light on because the clothes in their closet make weird shadows in the dark. However, none of it matters as long as they are okay with themselves. I am one of those people. I fear many things. But, as long as I am okay with it, nothing else matters.
ReplyDeleteKale: “I’m afraid of growing up, afraid of my brothers growing up for innocence is too beautiful to be lost” and “Yes, I confess wholeheartedly that I am afraid of all of these things --
ReplyDelete-- And yet I have no fear.”
I love the way you write because it seems so complex and mature. You make seem so easy. However, this is actually about the two statements I picked above. Innocence is too beautiful to be lost and I love the way you worded it. It is way important to having a childhood and being happy. It reminds me of the saying, “Ignorance is bliss.” Children are just way happier when they do not know. The last sentence I just adored because of how strong you made it. You put your personality and your strength into words and I just wish I had the literary skills to do the stuff that you are able to do.
Robert: “You cannot manifest dreams when you live in fear.”
First, let me start off with saying that I am extremely jealous of Kale and you for being such amazing writers. However, this is not the least bit relevant to my comment toward your blog. The words that your use to describe things really helps me understand what you are saying and where you are coming from. The quote that I picked from your blog just jumped out at me. I just got this perfect, crystal clear picture from that sentence and it just made me sort of say, “hmm… I never thought of it like that.”
Jessie- I remain corrected… Jessie, Rob, and Kale are all people that I wish I could write like. Jessie, the way that you words things is just all around perfect. I love how, when I read something that you have written, I can clearly picture you saying it to me casually as we walk down the hallway toward Chemistry. I absolutely adore you in every single way. Anyway, I completely share your fear of growing up. My life with completely alter after the summer of our senior years ends as well. I will not be booted from my house completely but I will need to get out. I will be shoved toward bigger and better things but I will be scared the whole way through.
Jourdan S.: "Even though a playfully colored flowerbed of fear is perfectly healthy, Fear’s roots may grab a strong enough hold, it becomes overgrown and absorbs sunlight, nutrients, and space for itself, keeping these things from its opposite, which is optimism in the face of uncertainty, or faith."
ReplyDeleteThis description reminds me of mistletoe, a parasitic plant that was sacred to the Celts in northern Europe that we all know as a glitsy Christmas ornament. Mistletoe was sacred, despite the fact that it feeds off of and kills other trees that were sacred to the same people - in the same way, fear is a sacred thing, because it preserves us, and drives us, but yes, when left unchecked it takes over, with deadly effects.
Deanna N:
ReplyDelete"but yet I sleep for eight hours a night happily"
This shouldn't count as a real comment, but... how on earth do you sleep eight hours a night with five AP classes? If I get six hours, it's a good night. Does that mean I'm overworked, or is there just some secret here that I am missing?
Kaitlin H.: "Fear is a dreadful disease"
ReplyDeleteIf fear is a disease, we are all part of the disease. Is there no good in fear? I think there is, from more than a preservative viewpoint. Everything has three aspects: creative, preservative, and destructive. The creative aspect of fear is the drive it gives us. Is it not like love in that regard? Love can kill too.
Robert F- I agree with all aspects of your blog. “Fear is the icy grip that makes your sweat feel like beads of ice when you are faced with the unknown.” This quote gives a great explanation of what I wanted to say but could not find the right words for. You were right in saying fear keeps us alive. You have taken fear into a whole other realm of understanding in the last sentence but makes me think about different perspectives of fear.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” During every gymnastics practice fear is splashed on every single face. Fear of failure or most importantly injury. I was successful because I had no fear. I would throw and trick and be the first to do so. Bruises engulfed my body but each time I hit, I would climb right back up and try again. Shaking, I would throw tricks that everyone thought were dangerous, but really what was the worst that could happen? I was fearless. Yet, I would watch girls six years older freeze contemplating that same exact trick that I had just perfected. They had talent, but fear over powered their talent. None of them believed they could do it anymore which resulted in failure. This quote relates to this example. Their fear stopped them from being the greatest gymnast. Fear over powers faith and does not allow you to accomplish your dreams.
ReplyDeleteFear, believing an object, or idea, is greater than what it really is, keeping someone from something that they would have done. For example, the fear of spiders brings in existence of a dangerous creature that will stop a person from sitting somewhere or touching something. Are they really dangerous? How about the fear of losing? People often will not tryout for a sport, or run for an office because they do not want to lose. Fears are often road blocks to the life people want to live.
My biggest fear is regretting something that I can not change. I do not want to ever look back on something and know it was my fault it turned out terrible. This causes me to often hold back what I really want to do. The idea of messing up keeps me awake at night. Are they mad? Did I do something or forget to do something? I am afraid of hurting someone and being hurt myself. I always think about what could have happened rather than living with what has happened.
As I stated before, when I was a gymnast, I had no fear. Some people may think everyone has fears, but I believe that when you are in an environment in which you feel comfortable, you fear nothing. I feared nothing as a gymnast because I knew no one would ever let me hurt myself. I trusted my surroundings. As I quit and became a middle school teen, I feared what others thought about me. Getting older creates less of a trust for the people that surround us. As an eighth grader, consists of fitting in, or being abducted. Today I still fear those things but now fear things with a greater life impact. I fear failing, dying, or what my life will be like when I am older. Life was easier when we were little, now most over think every part of their existence.
Almost everyday I stop myself because of fear. I stop myself from talking to that hot guy, or opening up to anyone because I am afraid of the responses. I regret not saying things to people that I should have. If I told a few people I loved them, would things be different? Would they still be here? However, maybe it was a good thing. Everything happens for a reason. If we fear, it causes us to sometimes make rational decisions and be cautious of our surroundings. To deal with my fear and rationalize what needs to be done, I listen to music. I never listen to music, except when I am afraid. If you ever see me with music I am usually upset because of fear. I fear what is going to happen next.
I don't want Fear. In Fear's perspective, I am its victim. Fear butchers my thoughts like the flesh of a decaying savage. Fear mutilates and maims my already struggling mind to the brink of hopelessness. Fear crushes, bashes, beats, and shatters everything that is me. Fear desolates my work, my value, my confidence, my life, my very inner most soul.
ReplyDeleteYet, I thrive in Fear. I would not be me without it.
In, what most people see as minute and stick-like, my body, there lays Fear. Mostly, that Fear exists in my thoughts of my future. I fear I will never amount to anything. My knowledge and abilities and talents would all go to waste. My life would be an utter failure as I never pursue the ultimate, spectacular life I am destined to live. I end up alone, unhappy, and in a stately home with ten million cats (which I'm allergic to). As I read everyone's blog these past couple of weeks, I say "WOW! So and so is going to an amazingly successful person someday!" But for me, I fear I would never fulfill this standard. It's that Fear that drives my ambition to succeed. I study persistently as a sleeping fairy flutters by and attempts to shut my eyes--I just punches its face and locks/chains/muzzles it in a cage. I labor and sweat over everything I do until my heart bleeds--not just the usual trickle-it gushes bright red, metallic smelling blood. I do what I can to not fail.
So when Morrissey says "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith," she is only looking at part of the question. She says Fear prevents a person from achieving their dreams only if they have more fear than faith. She believes that people fear the road towards their dream because their dreams may involve high risks. Yet, if that fear takes over and people do not have enough faith to overcome it, the dream would never happen because people would simply not try to achieve it. However, Morrissey sees Fear differently from the way I see it. Because my main fear is failure, I have to run away from it. Basically, the existence of that butchering, mutilating, and beating assailant drives me towards ambition, hard work, and success. I need that fear or I’ll have nothing to escape from.
My ambition and dreams go hand-in-hand with the presence of Fear and Faith. Faith is the heroic gladiator that dethrones and dominates all of what Fear does. Fear soon becomes submissive and servile. Faith controls Fear to let it perform a necessary job: allow people see the dangers in their way. But Faith does not let Fear become destructive. Now, Faith leads the way with Fear under its control. Before sophomore year, my faith was not strong enough and I feared so many things. I feared that I didn't appear 'socially acceptable' to the world around me. However, my confidence grew. What began as a small voice became a clear, distinct voice. Over and over I convinced myself that YES, I have the potential to be the greatest person. And that's when Faith, the faith within me, became a gladiator.
Fear exists within everyone, it’s inevitable. Whether a person lets the fear dominate their life or they take control and dominate their fear determines the difference. Mary Manin Morrissey made a great point that I completely agree with when she said, "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." To me this means not being able to overcome your fear. Most people have some kind of goal in their life right? Well what if they never accomplish it and it’s all due to the fact that they let their fears come between them and their often dreamed of goal? In the quote I think Morrissey is saying that the only thing stopping a person from achieving their dreams is the fear that they feel they can not overcome. They can overcome it though, but they have to be the ones to believe that. Doubting leads to even more doubt and makes a fear’s growth rapid. Then the worst happens; fear wins. It doesn’t have to though, a bit of faith in one’s self can have the opposite effect. While it may not completely eliminate a fear it can lessen it as a person’s begins to feel that they have beat it; they have conquered their fear.
ReplyDeleteI think that fear is just something that makes a person highly uncomfortable. It’s as simple as that to me. It can be something that scares you, makes you anxious, or worries you. It just pushes you to the point of feeling as though you would do anything to escape the situation or thing. I’m afraid of a lot. I’m terrified of spiders, I hate being lost, and seeing things move in the woods as I wait for my bus makes me want to run back inside the house. I’m afraid of losing close friends as we take different paths through life. I have a lot of fears but I try not to let them all scare me from living my life. My fears have changed; when I was younger I had the simplest fears (such as spiders) but as I got older those fears lessened and new, challenging ones took their place.
My biggest fear would have to be change. I don’t mean little changes like rearranging my room or meeting new people. When I say change I pretty much mean the fact that ever since I got to high school everything has been rapidly changing. It all seems like it’s changing much faster than I can handle. My family, friends, school, and just life in general seems like an epic roller coaster ride that’s taking sudden twists and turns that are unexpected. It’s confusing because this ride seems as though it’s moving way to fast than should be allowed. I think this fear just happened to come along because it’s just a confusing and new time in life and I’m still just trying to solve this puzzle that’s been presented to me.
ReplyDeleteI try not to let my fears stop me from doing what I want but sometimes my fears win. I don’t always feel as though I can overcome them but I do try to. I battle them in my head. I think to myself, just don’t worry but I do. I sometimes overcome them but definitely not always. I don’t think fear is always necessarily a bad thing if it keeps you from dangerous situations. If they protect you from getting in a car with some stranger or following some trend that could harm you then they could be positive. Either way fear is just something that must be dealt with through life. Fear changes throughout a lifetime but in the end a person must decide whether it is blocking their dreams and if it is worth conquering.
Jourdan: I think the “what ifs” do cause hesitation. I think of the “what ifs” all the time; I think what if this happens or what if that happens and it causes me to hesitate on making any decisions. Instead of just doing what I originally set out to do, I instead overthink things. So I think the “what if” part of your blog brings across a great point in showing that the “what ifs” sometimes hold us back.
ReplyDeleteJessie: Growing up scares me too but I think it’s just a fear for now because the process of growing up is new and still occurring. Either way what you rote was well written and was really clear. The examples you used (such as Suzy) made every point even more clear and I agree with everything that you wrote about how fear grows.
Lauren: “On the other hand, I believe that fear is a state of mind that takes over and makes the possible seem impossible. When you break through the wall of fear, anything can happen.”
I agree completely with this. Fear does seem to convince people that things are impossible when they really are not. I love how you wrote this because it really makes sense and when I read it I thought of the fact that a lot of the things that are seen as impossible are possible. All that has to be done is the overcoming of fear and the doubts that follow it.
What I believe Morrissey is trying to say is that, no matter what your fears are if they become to big, and start to have an impact on your everyday life, than your dreams will start to take a back seat.
ReplyDeleteTo me fear is the world. I fear everything and everyone, No matter how well you know a person, or think you know a person, you never know what that person is capable of. At the age of 11 I learned that people were capable and willing to sacrifice their lives, in order to destroy a thousand others. Through things like TV, Jodi Picult, novels, and real life experiences, I learned what sick and twisted things people can even do to the ones they “love”, Such as rape, abuse, and steal from.
Last year I had Mr., Sera for AP Gov., which was horrible for me. If I wasn’t scared enough as it was, he made it worse. That man had the craziest theories, and I knew that they were only theories. However, for some reason in my head I can never stop thinking, what if. What if there is a nuclear war and we all die. What if the government is trying to put chips in our bodies to monitor our every move? What if the government is planning to kill off a huge amount of our population? What if…?
When I say I am afraid of everything, I mean everything. This causes debates in my own mind, of what’s good and bad, and what will kill me and what won’t. For instance, I am terrified of the swine flu. I have literally been keeping track of it for months now, and told my parents it was a problem long before the government got involved, but here’s the twist; I’m also afraid of the vaccine. So what do I do?
Do I get the vaccine and risk some horrible side effect, or do I wait around and pray that I don’t get the flu? This is just one of many battles that goes on in my head, on a day-to-day basis.
My fears have changed, and they will continue to change. See I said that I am afraid of the world, but the world in constantly changing therefore, my fears are constantly changing. For example, freshman year in high school I was not afraid of the swine flu, because it was unknown to me. My fear comes from me being an irrational person, which runs in my dad’s side of the family.
I stop myself from doing a lot of things because of fear, but I never regret it. For example, my friend asked me once to go to NY with her and her mom. I told her my parents would never let me, which was a total lie. What I really wanted to say was ‘HELLO! Do you ever watch Law and Order! NY is dangerous!’ I missed what probably would have been a memorable and fun experience. However, after I realized I had made a mistake, I asked my mom to take me to NY, and I made different experience. I feel that when ever, you miss an opportunity there is always some way to make up for it, if it’s something you really wanted.
In order to achieve a goal or a dream, you have to have faith in the fact that you can achieve it. When we are afraid of something to a degree that overcomes the faith we have in it, we will most likely fail. When I read this quote, I pictured an eclipse of the sun. The sun is our faith, the moon is our fear, and everything we see if our dream. When the moon covers the sun, it is harder to see what is around us. In reality though, the moon is much smaller than the sun, we just allowed it to get to a point where it overcame that.
ReplyDeleteFear. Fear…fear. What is fear? I really have no idea. The only way that I can think of how to define fear, is by the way it feels. Have you even done a lot of crunches, and you get that cramping, ball feeing in the bottom of your stomach? Well when I think about being afraid, I get that feeling in my stomach.
I have a few fears, but there is only one that affects every aspect of my life. I fear rejection. Whether it concerns other people, events, activities, I am always afraid that I won’t be good enough. I absolutely dread the feeling of wanting something and having someone say “no”.
I’ve had this fear my entire life. As far back as I can remember I have feared rejection, failure, etc. I’m always scared as if nothing I do will be good enough. One thing I can say through the years though is that it has lessened. I remember back in eighth grade, I barely made the move to make new friends. I stuck with who I knew. I felt as if it was one thing to have people who don’t know me not like me, rather than people who did know me to dislike me. Looking back it was a really dumb idea to follow, but thankfully I’ve broken that cycle. Like I said before though, I have no idea where this fear originated from.
Very often I allow my fear to stop me from doing something. Since I’m afraid of rejection, I avoid putting myself into a position in which it is possible to BE rejected. Just like not being able to make friends in middle school, I have let my fear prohibit me from opening up to other relationships in high school. Mainly, I mean relationships involving guys. I am way too afraid to be rejected, so I have never put my feelings out there in that sort of way. Sometimes I regret those decisions because I feel less experienced, naïve, and sometimes lonely but overall I don’t think it has had a bad impact on me as a person.
As much as I hate it, fear can in fact be a good thing. Fear is a natural reaction the humans (and all living things) have in response to things that may be dangerous to us. So if your fear is protecting you from something, it is good.
Part One
ReplyDeleteFear. A concept so seemingly understandable yet so complex and integral to our everyday lives. Fear drives almost everything we do. When we act on impulse, it is almost always out of fear. Maybe not the conventional fear, of the dark or of spiders. True fear is whatever we make it within ourselves and can be both positive and negative.
When Morrissey said "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.", she was referring to one’s inability to control and harness their fear. When someone’s fear overcomes their dreams, their inner ambitions, they are defeated, with no hope of accomplishing anything they strive to. Fear used in this manner, or better, fear abused in this manner, hinders one’s success, ruining their dreams as described by Morrissey. Faith in this instance is the key factor in following your dreams and accomplishing your goals. When fear overcomes faith, dreams do have a chance to become ruined.
When used in the correct way, fear is a good thing. Fear can be the feeling you get when you’re about to lose a game, when you are moments away from facing the toughest challenge of your life, and in these instances, it is the saving factor. Fear drives survival, not necessarily hindering success unless the individual allows it to do so. In situations where it really matters, fear can overcome the situation, cause the person to fight harder or try their hardest in order to ‘survive’, to be the best. Fear is the inner drive that causes us to push ourselves, sometimes positively sometimes negatively, in order to accomplish ones goals.
Part Two
ReplyDeleteMy biggest fear is of failure and indecisiveness. I am always doing my best in order to overcome this fear, to always succeed and eventually accomplish all of my goals. I want to be successful in whatever I choose to do, maybe not be a kajillionaire, but to be content with my life and experience personal success. My fear is that I will never be truly happy, that I will fail at the things I strive for. Also, I am fearful of my indecisiveness and inability to make serious decisions relating to college and my future. I am worried that my time is short and that I need to make decisions now before it’s too late. I fear a rush of time when I need it most, and am scared I will end up doing something or going somewhere I don’t want to. These fears have plagued me most of my life, mainly due to the personal life I experience. These fears have grown and altered slightly, but for the most part my fears have remained constant.
I don’t stop myself from doing something due to fear very often. I try to harness fear and make it a good thing. I definitely strive to not allow fear to devour my hopes and dreams. I use fear in a positive way. I don’t have many regrets in regards to not doing something I wanted to do. I try not to let regrets bother me. I make fear into a good thing, whether this will hurt or benefit me in the long run has yet to be seen.
“Donna baby” I would coo at her, and she would rub up against me. She ran away from strangers, but for some reason had a unique trust for me. I’m not describing a kitten, try something roughly one thousand pounds heavier. There is a reason why a catch phrase of the equine community is “they AREN’T pets.” It’s rarely cute when they buck and run off, over something that couldn’t possibly hurt them. Often Donna would be listening to me, then take off out of nowhere like Satan himself was chasing her. I would have to calm her down, then search out the culprit. Whether it was a tarp in the wind, rustling leaves, or the evil of all evils, a plastic bag, the result remained. If the horse’s brain was a train station, then it would have only one train with endless different tracks to choose from. Donna would jump onto the track focusing on the intimidating object. Meanwhile she would completely forget I was still on her back. Donna allowed the darkness behind her to force her down the easiest track, and block her view of the light at the end of the track I was waiting on.
ReplyDeleteFear is that split second- the one that referees would have to put into super slo-mo to find- when you open the door, fully expecting every apprehension and doubt to drag you down, and so it does. Fear can only occur, if you choose to give a dark possibility credence. People surrender to fear most when they decide they cannot do something long before the time to do it has come. They sink into the dark marshes of fear-induced apathy, so they can avoid staring on into a world they have failed.
"Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves." (Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being)
I know that Kundera directly says Vertigo is not the fear of falling, but it still relates to my view of fear. Fears are often the illegitimate children of ideas and motivation. They run away from their home of inspiration to cast their shadows onto our perception. Admittedly there are many things we should legitimately be afraid of. Fear can be instinctive and even a means of self-defense. However judgment and awareness are much more effective than fear, although they require more strength to reach.
Torture, kidnapping, poisonous spiders, voodoo powers, and much more might frighten me, but unless I’ve been watching too many horror flicks they usually don’t keep me up at night. The fear of failure or disappointing those I care about always chases close behind me. It comes to me in many different forms. I didn’t do well enough on this quiz, I wasn’t there when my friend expected me to be, or I won’t be able to keep up with everyone else. It has become so easy for me to throw house warming parties for every new apprehension that crawls into my neighborhood. I hardly even notice myself doing it anymore. Still they are never really new, it is just “You can’t do it. They will be disappointed in you.” again in a new disguise.
I’d rather not try, but I know that if I had to I could make lists upon lists of all the times I have held myself back out of fear. More often though, I go for things, in spite of my apprehensions. I will share an opinion that others probably won’t agree with. I will challenge myself, even though it constantly makes me more vulnerable. I will get on Donna, when she is most nervous and dangerous. As Kundera said, anyone who wants to improve themselves, their life, or their world better learn to recognize fear, and stand up to it.
Responses to...
ReplyDeleteJessie: Of course your fears aren't debilitating because you're Jessie! And, as I have said before in Chem, you are just more awesome than you know, and stronger than you think. Whatever lies after high school, you'll be just as successful because it's in your nature to always do your best. Don't fear the future. I think for you more than anyone else I know, the future should fear you! It won't know what hit it when Jessie B. dominates. :]
Stephanie: Thanks so much ^_^ I love you c:
Lucas: Haha, there's no secret. 10-6 is eight hours. No matter what work I have left to do, no matter what I haven't studied for, no matter what I didn't finish, I sleep at 10. For some reason, things just seem to work out. You begin to manage your time better throughout the day. But I wouldn't change anything you do because frankly, you're brilliant. :] Following my schedule might mess with your mojo! Don't do it Lucas! :O
Kaitlin Hare
ReplyDeleteYou are so young, and still have plenty of time to make your dreams realities. I envy that you try and overcome your fears. You are such a strong person. I see what your saying when you say that fear can be a good thing, like you never really know joy until you experience sorrow kind of thing. However, I personally would rather have no fears, and never have to conquer them. I guess that make me sound weak.
Megan S
Awh Meg, I would love to hear you sing! I think analyzing your next day to be ready for anything is a great thing to do. You will never be caught of guard, and always have a level head when dealing with crucial situations. I like how you explain good fear. You are definitely right, if we didn’t have fear what would stop us from doing stupid things. I never thought of fear that way.
Deanna N
Your dreams are sooooo different, you go from plains, to spirits, to competition. I love it, it made me laugh. I disagree when you say that fear only exists when it stops you from moving forward. I think many people move forward in spite of fear, and I believe that many people don’t move forward because of fear. However, no matter how you let it affect you fear is always there.
SC: Planes*
ReplyDeleteShirley- Your opening paragraph was really great. It clearly painted a picture of the effects fear has on you then tell about how you strive on it, emphasizing your point. I really enjoyed your post. You used imagery very professionally. Good job.
ReplyDeleteAlexN- I can see why you would be afraid of some of those things, but it is not good to live your life in fear. Being engulfed by fear, or everything, without harnessing its positive aspects, is a very dangerous thing. Not all things need to be feared, and life can't truly be lived with that mentality. Being cautious and being afraid of everything is very different.
Deanna- I admire your fearless mentality and your ability to identify your fears yet still conquer them in your own way. I think the things you described and examples you gave are really good ways to harness fear and make it a good thing. Your confidence and personal strength is evident in all of your blog posts and I enjoy reading all of them.
“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” Every time I strap into my racecar the feel of adrenaline pumps through my veins, or is it fear? Fear of the unknown? Will this be the last time I buckle in? At this point I always stop myself, breath and the fear subsides. When you allow fear to block the very thing that makes you unique and keeps you alive, you are blocking your dream. You allow fear to consume you and make decisions you will eventually regret.
ReplyDeleteFear is the force chaining you down from the objectives you want to accomplish. Fear is the drive to push away from something that otherwise you would love to do. Fear can hinder anybody at anytime, it doesn’t choose you choose it. Fear is brought on by bad experiences or fear of bad experiences to come. It can paralyze the strongest of individuals and cripple them for life.
My biggest fear is not being accepted by my peers. I’m not afraid of speaking publicly, losing for office positions, or even missing that crucial putt in golf. But what deters most of all is not being socially accepted. Having no friends or not having someone who always has my back no matter what. This fear cripples me from doing the simplest objectives, being socially accepted is the one thing that will always stop me in my tracks. The transition into high school has greatly lessened this fear through I see myself doing things that are more spontaneous and not caring what anybody thinks of me. This fear primarily stared when I reached middle school, as my peers and I aged being funny or spontaneous was no longer the “cool” thing to do. Everybody thought it was better to keep their opinions to themselves and never say anything rash. Through the years I adapted to this new personality, as my personality changed the fear began to develop. It reached its apex when I entered freshman, I did absolutely nothing because that’s what I perceived to be the cool thing to do. As the days went by I realized that this wasn’t getting me anywhere so I started to become more involved. I took risks I never saw myself taking before, and as the years past the fear began to lessen. Even through the fear rarely shows itself now; I know that I will present itself as I enter college and eventually the workforce. The fear will always be there until I become comfortable with the new atmosphere, but with every challenge I conquer I become more aware of who I am. Anymore I rarely stop myself because of fear I’m not afraid of any challenge that presents itself in high school whether it be social or academic. I do think fear is appropriate to fear sometimes, everybody is afraid of something and it’s a normal human function. It’s healthy to be afraid of most things us teens are encountering. On the other hand it’s not healthy to be afraid of being watched by ducks. But all in all fear is something we all experience and it’s a part of growing up.
Kelsey-
ReplyDeleteI really liked when you talked about about music at the end. Just recently I thought about the song “Let the music heal your soul” by the Bravo All Stars, that giant group of different pop singers and groups from the 90s. Music truly does heal your soul! I always listen to music whenever I feel down or need to feel better. I especially love songs that touch your soul and let you forget about life. I think music is a great place to go to when your afraid of what’s next because it clears your mind and eases your nerves. Also, you said “Life was easier when we were little, now most over think every part of their existence.” I completely agree with you! It seems as we get older, everything is more complicated and we always have to over think things. It does get annoying, but hey, we’re older and more curious. Questioning the world more leads to more answers.
Stephanie:
Aw, I wish I read your blog before I wrote mine! It would have been so much easier to put a part of mine into words. I tried to say what your father said “Fear is our body or nature’s way of telling us to pay attention.” This is the reason why I said Fear doesn’t block out dreams. The idea of Fear with a dream shows that our body knows that a rough road is coming as you pursue a dream. Yet, all roads to a dream are bumpy with many falls. You’re bracing yourself for the journey and if you go through with it, the outcome can be amazing. And Stephanie, your life IS valuable! Everyone is meant to do something in this world and they have a purpose in other people’s lives. You’re no different :=)
Justin
ReplyDeleteI like that you refer to fear as something we can harness. Some of the most successful and admirable people I know are the ones who are able to push themselves to do that. I agree with you that fear and faith are in this type of battle situation, where the dream can only survive if faith perseveres. Do you think that ones fear has pushed out faith the results are permanent? Is the dream dead forever then? I think that it is often a perpetual struggle, in which one might gain ground, but neither is ever fully defeated. You made me think about fear in a new way, by describing how it can be a beneficial tool. It really surprised me reading your fears, because they are very similar to my own. I wonder if all the fears people are afraid to talk about are really something we all secretly share.
Jessie:
ReplyDelete“*Chances are good I’ll be going away to college. With people I don’t know. In a town with which I’m unacquainted… possible in a state 6 hours away from home. Away from my family and friends. Having to accept tons of new responsibilities and think entirely for myself.”
When I read this, I felt a completely the opposite way you do. I felt excited and energized for college. I can’t wait until I go to a new place and start my life over. However, unlike you, I’m not close to my family at all and I can see why you’re stuck and confused about either going far away to a college or staying close. All I have to say is that, You know about the way high school has shaped you—I do. Sometimes I feel as if I could just leave everything comfortable and start in a new place where people do not have misconceptions about me. Also, you’re not going to be living with you’re family forever! In my opinion, I think going far away to a school would be personally better for me. I think you have to talk to you’re family about this and other students in our class. You need both perspectives on this.
“But when that sense of comfort wanes, fear of embarrassment and failure sets in and my mouth zips shut even when a part of me really does want to speak up”
Whoa, I completely understand! I used to be like this ALL THE TIME. But eventually this only happens every-so-often these days. Now, I tell myself “You are SHIRLEY NGO. You are never wrong!”... (Even though I know that’s not true, I have to convince myself even if it’s for the split seconds before raising my voice.)
Part 1
ReplyDeleteFaith and fear are opposing forces. Faith is the belief in yourself, in your god, or in another person. When you have faith in yourself you believe, maybe even without evidence, that you can accomplish your goal. When you let your fear of failure grow greater than your belief in yourself you forfeit your dreams. Suppose I abandoned the notion of one day being a United States Senator because of how big a risk running for election is and because of my doubts about winning. I have let my fear get the better of me. My logical, “risk analysis” side found that the forces at work against me were stronger than the forces working for me.
Fear is a very broad term that encompasses the human tendency to resist the new or unknown. People really don’t like new things because there is such a high probability of failure. People don’t like the unknown because then they have no control. The easiest example I could give you of this definition of fear is the fear of the dark. Why are so many people afraid of the dark? Because they can’t see what’s around them. They are vulnerable and have no control over the situation. How about the last time you had a big test and gave up on studying because you were “just going to fail anyway.” You were afraid that if you spent as much time as you possibly could studying and stilled failed it would show that you had no control over the situation. By giving up, the outcome of failing was predictable (not an “unknown”) and you were in total control.
My biggest fear is being alone for the rest of my life. I can’t see myself being able to maintain a romantic relationship with anyone for an extended period of time, and I’m afraid that it’s going to hurt me in the long run. I can’t say that this issue keeps me up at night thought, because it’s such a long term problem. The things that keep me from descending into that sweet, five stage cycle of altered consciousness are the short term fears. The tests I’ll have to take, the work I’ll have to do, the people I’ll have to deal with. Though being alone is my biggest fear, it isn’t constantly on my mind because it’s not a pressing issue. My school work is the task at hand, so the fears school produces are what is frequently on my mind.
When I was younger, say five years old, I was more afraid of the irrational than my future. The monster that may or may not be lurking in my closet was my biggest worry, not my life after college. From eighth grade until now my fears have revolved around the next big stages of my life, the new and unknown. In eighth grade I was afraid of going into high school. Freshmen year I was afraid of who I was becoming. Sophomore year I was afraid of coming out to my parents and how they would react. Now as a junior I’m afraid of college and my life after. When I was younger I saw fear like I see phobias now. A phobia is an irrational fear of a specific object or situation. Believe me, I still have phobias, toenails and eyes just to name two, but I don’t consider them real fears, they are irrational. This progression stems from how our point of view changes as we age. When we are kids we don’t really think about the long term, but now that we are in high school we are standing on the edge. The choices we make now can affect us for the rest of our lives so we are forced to worry and fear the future.
Part 2
ReplyDeleteI can’t say fear stops me all that often, because I don’t have all that much to fear, in the short term at least. When I am confronted with fear I usually give in to my doubts. I know it’s something I have to work on, but fear is one of my least favorite feelings to deal with. Sometimes, though, fear is a good thing. If you get that really uncomfortable, anxious feel when stuck in a certain situation and you know what you are doing cannot lead to anything positive then fear has done a good job.
Fear is something we are always going to have to deal with on our journey down the rough and confusing path of life. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it just counteracts the faith we hold in ourselves. Imagine a world without fear, nobody would see the possible consequences for their actions. A balance of forces is always necessary.
Alix
ReplyDeleteThe eclipse metaphor was awesome. It really made the idea so much stronger and clearer. Rejection scares the life out of some of the strongest and bravest people. It’s one of those fears that can attack you from a lot of different places, in a lot of different forms. Fears of dogs, or spiders . . .not so much (unless you live next door to Pennywise). It’s always odd for me to read about your fears or vulnerabilities, because since I met you I have seen you as a really strong and bold person. We all have our weaknesses, but I think you have done an amazing job facing and using yours for the better. I think fear of rejection is strongest when it comes to relationships, but that makes them more special and valuable once you get past that. Someday I know you will be ready and meet the right person, and it will be more than worth it to fight through all your fears. Fear is natural. If we didn’t have it the average lifespan would be way shorter.
Jon W.
ReplyDeleteI was in the same boat as you freshmen year. I was worried about what people would think of me and how they would react to my habits. I was not involved at all freshmen year not because I thought I was being cool, but because I was afraid of not being accepted into a group. Now I've adapted to Oakcrest, and being accepted isn't really a big concern of mine. I also really like your race car reference, you are honestly the only person I've ever met that does that. It's such a unique activity!
"Get on the stage. You have an amazing voice. Just get up there and sing! Forget the audience."
ReplyDeleteToo often does the world miss out on the vocal talents of a singer because he or she harbors a fear called "stage-fright". Their dream of becoming a top artist crumbles because they are too afraid. This is what Mary Manin Morrissey meant when she said, "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith."
Lets start simple. I am afraid of dark water, the space between my bed and the floor, my basement, dark forests, the bottoms of cars, steps with openings where the vertical pieces should be, slightly cracked doors at night, the future, and new situations. Dark water scares me the most. I feared all of these things years ago also; the intensity is the core difference. For example, as a munchkin of no more than 4 I spent the evening at my neighbor's house, my first ever sleepover. Sure we enjoyed ourselves as we ran through the house giggling and occasionally screaming, but whenever we reached the steps a sense of doom overwhelmed me. The back panels of the stairs were missing, allowing me to look down at an angle at the kitchen table. Nonetheless, I leapt up those stairs with the same determination as my friends only to find myself tumbling back down them. My right leg managed to slip in between the wooden slats and throw my body so out of line that I could not regain my balance. Thus came my big bang theory, those steps hurt me so I was afraid. Fear number 1.
Now that I am a mildly more sensible teenager, I climb back-less steps with ease and only a tiny chill shudders down my spine if I miss-step. But I am still afraid. The pain and humiliation from that night seared my memories and my calf and, though some overcome it, I cannot quell the fear. Other candidates on my list, however, manifested recently, such as my irrational fear of the underside of cars. It could be argued that tales of car thieves hiding beneath vehicles waiting to slash the tendons of their victim influenced my apprehension but even before I heard tell of those rumors, I sprinted past the automobiles lying dormant in the garage and other assorted dark areas. One day I simply thought "what IS under there" and my morbid imagination took over.
From these experiences, I devised an answer for the lovely Ms. Bunje. Fear is an overly cautious (and typically NOT rational) tendency, resulting from over creativity, pain, past experiences, or unkindly information provided by, oh lets say, the evening news, that a person expresses when faced with a particular item, situation, or place. Ha. Basically, if a dog bit Frederick as a kid, chances are he won't come around dogs. Frederick would be SO cautious that even the thought of dogs, a lone "woof" in the night, would be cause to pull out the pepper spray and a nine iron. For another example, Frederick's aunt Irene writes grotesque horror stories for a living all based on dentists decapitating patients and using their innards to stuff their dentist chairs. Aunt Irene could eventually get so caught up in her stories that every trip to the dentist would raise her blood pressure and cause her great distress. Both situations are obviously irrational (unless your dentist has terrible smelling chairs) but most fears are, and since I could comprehend fear, I believed that. My opinion hasn't ever changed even though my fears have (I don't feel I've said FEAR enough times...fear fear fear fear fear fear fear).
ReplyDeleteMy fear (heh heh) of dark water stems from...nothing. Water scared me from day one, but swimming lessons and trips to the beach soon turned that all around. But boat rides in the bay never lost their chilling edge. Family voyages to the auntie and uncle's house filled me with dread as I imagined having to splash in the murky lagoon, something my parents both said I would grow out of, but instead its only expanded. I've found wading out past my waist in foggy, dark water (or pools/oceans at night) is impossible. My body freezes up, I begin to shake, and I return to land in a rapid but forcibly controlled stride. Jaws never made me fear the ocean, sharks aren't something I'm scared of. I'd kill to meet a sea monster, even if it DOES mangle one of my limbs. Perhaps I just have a fear of what I cannot see. THAT might be considered a legitimate fear. It isn't the attacker you see coming that gets you, its the one hiding back in the shadows.
This falls under some sort of self-preservation tactic, a good thing to have if living is a preference. As I said "Fear is...caution", and caution didn't kill any kitties. Fear keeps me from trying to juggle knives (I cant juggle anything to begin with). Fear prevents people from trying to fly by means of leaping off ten story buildings. Fear rallies humans to protect the earth and find more efficient ways to get from point A to point B (who doesn't care if the earth deteriorates and dies). Fear keeps people safe...
...In healthy doses. Too much fear just sucks. If someone's deathly afraid of airplanes, they'll never get to travel overseas. Because of my water fear, I don't go tubing, kayaking, boating, or scuba diving often, if at all. I long to do all three of them, until I look down. The rest of my fears I overcome when necessary, but this (b) itch is the one I can't scratch =P. Every so many trips to the lagoon, I force myself into that pool of misery, and each time it takes that much more effort. I fear that my fear will one day be too strong to fight, and I'll never get to scuba dive!
www.JonWilliamsMotorsports.com
ReplyDeleteCheck it!
This quote is incomplete. While fear, when larger than faith, will in fact block dreams, the inverse is not always true. Having more faith than fear will not win battles. Faith is only a step in the right direction. To defeat fear and achieve these goals, action must be taken. Faith facilitates action, but it does not guarantee it. For example, I could convince myself completely that I would pass an upcoming test, but that faith means nothing if I do not pay attention and learn the material. Courage to take on a challenge does not defeat fear. It simply suppresses it until the inevitable failure comes. Courage to take on a challenge while preparing in every possible way does.
ReplyDeleteFear is a necessary, although sometimes debilitating, part of our lives. Without fear, people would burn in fires, dive off of ledges, run into heavy traffic, and otherwise endanger themselves. Fear is self-preservation. Fear is protection. At least, that’s what it should be. Physical preservation is essential, as we cannot function without our bodies, but “mental preservation” is not. Oftentimes we refuse to take chances because of the fear of failure, but living like this would make us miss many valuable opportunities. Passing up a good opportunity because of fear is one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make.
In terms of physical fears, there are two types, rational and irrational. Rational fears are the ones I mentioned before, the ones that keep us alive without being overly cautious. Irrational fears fall into the overly cautious category. Having fear about running into heavy traffic is okay, but having fear about roads because cars occasionally drive on them is not. Irrational fears are fears that affect our lives negatively with no real upside. Oftentimes, if not always, these fears result from past experiences with these objects that actually resulted in harm. Even though the likelihood of it happening again is close to zero, the affected person will avoid the stimulus like the plague to preserve themselves, occasionally at great cost.
I am soooooo sorry this damn thing is so long.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I don’t believe I have any life-threatening irrational fears. Most of my fears are logical, or at least less than absurd. My biggest fear is failure. It keeps me awake at night (literally, thanks to AP classes) and dictates a lot of what I do. I hate failing more than I love succeeding, and I think it is better that way. I hate being anything less than I can be. Now more than ever, I consider that a failure. Untapped potential is a crime, usually punished by death (inside). When I do worse than I expect to, I feel horrible, if not depressed (according to Psychology class, depression can be a state that can be transferred in and out of). Now that I’ve decided to be my best again, I realize that for the past three years, I’ve been living in a semi-depressed state.
ReplyDeleteWhy is this? I suppose my fear of being “that weird kid” trumped my fear of failure. I didn’t fail, not by any means, but I wasn’t the overachieving sponge that I was before. Since I have recently overcome this, at least most of the way, I can happily say that I do not have to contend with this fear much anymore. So, how do my fears change? Before high school, my fears were almost all of rational, physical things, such as people with guns and standing in front of moving cars. When I got to high school, however, that changed. My physical fears actually went away for the most part, as I am no longer afraid of spiders, needles (but I still hate them), or unfamiliar dogs, but they were replaced by insecurity and fears about society. I didn’t want to “not fit in”, and I guess I acted accordingly. Now that I realize that was stupid, I am without either type of fear. The only fear I really still have is of failure, which is by no means a bad thing. My fears do not control me. No longer will I allow them to control me. My fears are all in my head, and with effort, can be vanquished easily.
That said, there are still very few people that I am my goofy, irrational self around. My emotions are unpredictable and strange, and oftentimes it is easier to just mask them. I have trouble conveying things without seeming strange. But the biggest part of this process is getting over that. I’m making progress. But, for now, I’m incomplete. I suppose that I will only be truly myself when I overcome all of my fears, and that will take a long time. I’m a work in progress, but it is in progress, and that is all that really matters.
Deanna N,
ReplyDeleteThose are really interesting points, but what do you think of courage? When I think of a courageous person I think of a person who is afraid, but perseveres anyway, which is basically what you are describing. There are things that you are afraid of, but you don't let them stop you, so wouldn't that mean you are courageous?
Lucas:
ReplyDeleteI love how you say "I hate failing more than I love succeeding, and I think it is better that way. I hate being anything less than I can be." I think this is a healthy fear, something that everyone deep down is afraid of. Doing less that we are capable of is always something most people have a fear of.
Jon ~~~} "Fear is the force chaining you down from the objectives you want to accomplish. Fear is the drive to push away from something that otherwise you would love to do. Fear can hinder anybody at anytime, it doesn’t choose you choose it."
ReplyDeleteI read that and tried to picture you saying it...it wasn't working. You're so goofy in lang but this little excerpt sounds amazingly proper and really accurate, especially the last sentence. What we fear is our own fault for letting it scare us. You were scared of not fitting in so you let it keep your personality hidden. When you realized how shitty that was you overcame your fear and do really random stuff all the time!
P.S. Thats not a bad thing
Lucassss ~~~} you call your self a sponge. I loved that. I literally laughed out loud. In my paper I really didn't mention a fear of fitting in or failure, both of which I kinda sorta have, but you managed to explain the difference between those and fears of needles and the like in a really smooth transition. good job! I can really see the difference in how you were a year ago, since you've started ebbing away from those fears, and thats a mighty good thing. Oh and thanks for also writing a lot. =D
ReplyDeleteRobert:
ReplyDelete"When you understand, you no longer need to have fear."
I totally agree. Fear is understanding. Once we are able to understand the things we fear, we can much more easily be able to overcome them.
Robert:
ReplyDeleteI agree that fear can sometimes be a good thing. Living completely devoid of fear could lead to some pretty disastrous consequences. People often overlook the good side of fear.
When our fear of failure rises above our beliefs of success, that's when we block our dreams.
ReplyDeleteMorrissey's quote unquestionably describes my life. Though it's becoming repetitive and seems to come up in every recent blog question I answer, college is approaching sooner than expected. With that said, the inevitable question comes up, "What do you want to go for?" Truthfully, I can't picture myself doing anything other than being on stage. I tell people that, but then follow up with the statement, "I know, I have to be realistic," before they even have a chance to answer. What I'm doing is mentally blocking my dream because I am that afraid of failure. For me to apply to music colleges and get denied is one of my biggest fears because I know I will feel as if I've wasted my efforts, spending time doing something I love that I'm just not good enough at. So by not trying, I never officially disappoint myself. I'm slowly realizing though, that if I never try, I'm still never going to reach my dream. I will just end up settling for a different career that I don't enjoy.
That contributes to my biggest fear as of right now. Typically, when asked the question, “What’s your biggest fear?” I would respond by saying, “murderers, robbers, spiders, darkness, and pretty much everything.” Those fears will always reside within me, and I have no intention of conquering those fears. Most of them simply make me more cautious and aware. By being afraid of murders and robbers, I’m simply more careful as to where I go, who I’m with, and any other precautions that come along with them. I’m obviously not going to conquer my fear of murderers, or I’d be dead. Therefore, fear can be good.
When asked what my biggest fear is now, however, I wouldn’t name anything that could physically hurt me. My biggest fear came about as I started to reach a certain age. My biggest fear right now is growing up, because I know it is inevitable, and I’m reaching the age sooner than I ever expected. I love being young. Though I frequently complain about getting up early for school, I’d much rather be there than at a job. Growing up brings about responsibility that I am nowhere near being ready for. I can’t go grocery shopping for myself; I can’t buy a house; I can’t clean that entire house; I can’t cook all of my own meals; I certainly can’t pay the bills. To think that I have to do any of that in the near future makes me cry. I love being young, not worrying about financially supporting myself, and being able to do what I want without any consideration of responsibilities that may interfere. It sounds selfish because it’s really only requiring the consideration of myself, but I’m just not ready to make that change. I want to be seventeen forever so I can drive and never have to worry about adult responsibilities, but growing up is inevitable. This is a fear that I’ll have to conquer very soon, which is why it is my biggest fear right now.
To deal with my fear, I’m reluctant to realize it. I act like it isn’t there and that if I don’t think about it, it won’t happen. That’s just me being stubborn and ignorant to the fact that I’m sadly going to have to deal with it eventually.
Sarah L ~~~} Loved the horse introduction. That would have been such a good approach to take! I should have read them sooner! Just kidding I would never steal your idea. But I did appreciate and very much understand that intro. My mare sounds a lot like yours =]. Fear to a horse is much harder to control because they can't rationalize like humans can. We can say "Hey its just a tarp dont worry" but the horse only knows that something big and unknown is moving towards them and might eat them, because that is what instinct says. Maybe some of our fears are instinct based too!...hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteI have always wanted to live my life fearlessly, if I believed in something passionately or loved something deeply that I would go out and do it with no fear or care inhibiting me. Sadly, I do not live my life fearlessly and consequently I live my life accordingly to Morrissey’s quote.
ReplyDeleteFrom my interpretation, Morrissey insightfully captures the essence that people tend to push aside what they really want to do not because of a tangible fear, but merely because they fear the consequences of what could happen, if they were to just act impulsively or to follow what they believed in. In blocking what you really want to do or what you want out of life because of the consequences that arise, I think she means that you are enabling yourself not only to rise to your full potential, but you are missing out on opportunities that make life worthwhile. The perfect analogy that I can eagerly pertain to my interpretation on Morrissey’s insightful quote, is the story embedded in the Taylor Swift song (sorry Bunje ) “Fearless,” my favorite line that pertains to what I believe Morrissey conveys in her quote is “ And I don’t know why but with you I’d dance, In a storm in my best dress, fearless.” The girl in the song my actually be following her heart by dancing in the storm fearlessly, but I am trying to convey is how many people actually do that. I may be weird but every since that song it’s been a dream for me to go dancing in a storm an elegant dress because it’s refreshing, exciting, exhilarating and seems fun, but I’d would never do it. The simple answer to why I would not do this is simply because I fear ruining a $200+ dress and having my mom yell at me for how irresponsible I am, I also fear that I might get sick from my skimpy attire, lastly I fear embarrassment because I care what people think and therefore if they saw my dancing skills in the middle of a storm they would point, laugh and call me weird. Therefore my dream of dancing in the storm with a dress is put on the backburner, and the feelings I believe that would come from that experience appear smaller to the major consequences that could occur if I were to do that.
Fear to me is not a tangible thing; I feel fear is evoked by the consequences of that fear. For instance, people who fear serial killers/ kidnappers I believe necessarily do not fear the person, but they fear the fatal consequence that they could die. People who fear planes, I don’t think they necessarily fear the plane itself but they fear the consequences of putting their life in someone else’s hands, therefore they say they fear planes. People I believe who fear death, necessarily don’t fear death but they fear not seeing their family any longer or they fear not living their life to the fullest. I feel fear has underlying messages to why we get that intense instinct to avoid that certain idea that we believe our are biggest fears.
My biggest fear that I have discovered recently is that I fear “being alone.” This fear haunts me every night, and pretty much every second of my days. I do not believe that I am necessarily afraid of “being alone,” the underlying part that I am afraid of is I am afraid of myself and what I could do to myself, so I fear if I am alone, the constant reminders of the pain that I know I could cause myself causes me to fear being alone because of the consequences of the matter. My fear has always been constant ever since the 3rd grade but I have been oblivious to the huge impact it’s played on my life. Figuring out this is my fear has open my eyes for why I strive for approval from my peers, always try to make friends before enemies and care what people think about me is because I want to be surrounded by people. I don’t want to be alone because truly the presence of others keeps me from making chooses that I fear because they are painfully detrimental.
ReplyDeleteNot much of an evolution expert, but I feel at one time nobody really feared anything because they didn’t know the consequences that could result from certain things. Once I feel each generation experienced different things and life and experience the intense pain, that fear imprints into us that’s when we knew what to fear in life. I feel the more the world experiences certain things and if the outcome is painful, we fear doing it again because we never want that painful experience to happen again. For instance, when most girls our little we believe that fairy tales exist and that one day a prince will swept us off our feet, but the day we get our heartbroken is they day we fear every wanting a fairy tale ending because the consequences can lead you back to another broken heart.
My fear enables me very much because I have no dependence of myself. It enables me of making decisions for myself, relying on myself and generally being myself because I fear being along therefore I have no idea how to be independent. It may not be a good fear for the reasons of I have no believe in my own opinion or want to rise to my full potential, but I believe it keeps me safe. I like fearing being alone because I have lived my life before in the isolation of the world and society, and trust me it was one of the most painful experiences I have ever been through. I am scared to death of myself and the chooses I have made in the past, that if I know people are around I am able to breathe because I know that being around people keeps me from falling deeper into an unbearable world. Every day, I work every so hard to get over this fear but I feel like it will never come because frankly there is ay too much history with this particular fear. I deal with my fear simply by making sure I am always surrounded by others that will keep me from the brink of doom, but one day I hope that I can learn to believe in myself and to no longer fear my chooses.
Kristen D:
ReplyDeleteYou describe the good in fear so well! You show that these everyday fears dont stop you in life but make you more cautious of your actions. I never thought of it that way, Thanks for the insight
I believe this quote is saying that you should make your dream bigger than your fears; you should live in your dream more than your fears. Dial up your emotions and create vibrations in your mind, your feelings, which make you extremely, intensely excited about the existence of your dream. Learn to live without regrets.
ReplyDelete"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."
Fear to me means feeling as if you have lost self control to the point where your mind goes blank and your bones start to shake. Fear is a prime example for my extensive mind wondering, I have a fear of fear itself. I’m afraid that there will be one point in time where I will let fear get in the way of my mental health. I’ve had this thought on my mind since the 8th grade when I would lay in my bedroom alone with “Forever Young— the youth group” playing on repeat for hours. I think fear has ruined my one always positive attitude. Fear In my life has become the only thing that I think about; it has turned my life into downhill spiral.
My fear comes from witnessing my parent’s mistakes. They are the worst examples that this world has created. My dreams and hopes have crushed because of their ass hole tendencies, therefore I am scared that I will be like them. I know that I have a choice; I don’t have to be like them… BUT what if I do? What if I relapse and get killed or raped, or even die. I can’t handle strenuous responsibility dealing with my home life. I fear that I will never have support and that I will never find my place. I’m scared of the common day crisis of being a teenage girl.
Do to my intense stress problems my body tends to shut down and I become a whole different person. I tend to make the wrong decisions and let my emotions get in the way of common sense decisions. I’ve learned to manage my fear over the past years but overall I don’t believe it has all together gotten better because other aspects of fear have gotten worse. I wish I could let go and live a little, but I let fear of rejection get in the way. I’m scared that everyone is going to hate me. I don’t expect everyone to like me, but I feel as if no one truly does. I know that that statement Is inaccurate but my emotions lead me down this path most days. I haven’t gone a day without regrets for the longest time , all because I’m scared of what you think. Pathetic? Yes I know. My reaction to fear usually ends up with a nice hit to the ground or some tears, I’m starting to get a little better with this by writing down my fears and writing down numerous solutions.
My biggest fear is living in a room of suede. This might sound like a huge joke but I have extremely bad ocd to the point where I shake and chew on my arm because I can’t handle the shiver up my spine and the texture across my fingers. I’d rather deal with mental fear then physical fear. I believe it’s always good to sometimes feel fear, fear may make you work harder to overcome fearful situations by giving you more drive and scaring yourself out of failure.
Lauren -
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. Failure is a big fear of mine as well and fear of failure often holds people back from being all they can be. You seem to have a lot of control over it though. Maybe not "control" persay, but an understanding of it and an optimistic look on it. I wish I was as confident as to say I can get over fear of failure. Sometimes I feel like it'll trap me forever! Hah I am so jealous!
Deanna -
I'm really proud of you and all the confidence that you have. And you're right, you have a lot of worth and you do deserve anything you ever want because you do work hard, and you can do anything. I'm really happy that fear doesn't phase you. You're one of the lucky ones. Bravo.
Kelsey -
I really enjoyed reading your response. It was very well written and I respect it a lot. You're so real and you accept fear and admit it and still project an air of confidence and the ability to overcome it.
And I also agree with you on the statement that things were a lot easier when we were younger. Everything was set up and right in front of our faces, now we have to reach for everything and it's really hard.
Jon- I like that your blogs because they get the point across without rambling on and on that I felt I did in my blog. I like how you incoprated about fearing the unknown when you are in your racecare because I feel everyone has once felt that, so it was a good connection to make.
ReplyDeleteKristen:
ReplyDeleteYou can sing. I remember back at Mullica, when we had those stupid talent shows where everyone played guitar or something and sucked. You didn't. If anybody can get into music school, you can. You might as well go for it. You'd regret it forever if you didn't.
Alix L
ReplyDeleteI really like the analogy you made to an eclipse. It says basically the same thing I said in my first one or two paragraphs, but a lot more clearly. I think of fear and faith as opposing forces, and if fear wins out in the power struggle we will mostly likely fail. When we give up on a goal fear is almost always the cause!
Kaitlin: Your opening is extremely well written and I love your elaborate interpretation of his quote. What I think you forgot to consider though when conquering a fear is the failure. I understand it is a huge weight lifted off of your shoulders when you conquer a fear, but what if you attempt it and you fail?
ReplyDeleteLauren: I know exactly where you’re coming from. Your fear of failure is very similar to my fear of dying before I get to achieve what I want. Although I believe that failures are necessary in order to achieve what you’re reaching for, for lack of a better word, they suck. I am also very much a perfectionist and have an OCD like personality, expecting everything to be perfect at all times. However, this expectation is unrealistic. It’s necessary to accept failures as learning lessons to, in the end, achieve something great.
ReplyDeleteDeanna: I love your view of fear. “It only exists when it stops you from moving forward.” I’ve always viewed fear as always existing. Your view of fear provides me a new perspective. It makes fear seem like some measly little annoying bug that you can just step on and squish. Despite how I try to live my life, fear does hold me back at times. Seeing fear as an easily beatable force makes overcoming it seem so much easier. Thank you for offering me this view.
Alix: I loved your comparison of the eclipse to fear. It makes understanding what you had to say a lot easier. However, I’m sure you could figure out the origin of your fear of rejection. If you really think of your past experiences and encounters with people, I’m sure it’s able to be found. Maybe a break in a friendship that was important to you when you were in elementary school? I don’t know your life story so I couldn’t pick out what may have caused this, but I’m just trying to help you put a finger on it. However, what you said about your fear of being rejected by guys and relationships, I feel the exact same way. I choose not to open myself up and then it’s too late. I lose whatever may have been brewing. However, I try not to regret it because I see it as not being the right person or the right time. Everything happens for a reason and if it didn’t happen, it’s just not meant to be right now.
Brynne - I have the same problem, I'm scared to be alone. This fear runs through my mind almost every day. I'm scared that everyone in my life is going to leave me and that I will have noone to turn to. This year I've lost the only people I cared about, I thought that was hell but I wonder what it would be like to lost everyone. I'm happy that you are honest about your dependence on other people. I think that I tend to depend on some people way more then I should because I will always be disappointed.
ReplyDeleteJustin- I like the approach you take when talking about fear, in the beginning about have positive effects. I think that is very insightful and very refreshing from our standard to what we believe fear consist of. I also totally agree with you that fear is a very complex thing because truly I believe that fear holds a lot of underlying meaning that we are not consciously aware of why we often fear those things.
ReplyDeleteLucas: I love how you introduced like four different kind of fears (I didn't actually count but I'm just saying that you defined different kinds of fears as opposed to mine.) You did say, however that you hate failing more than you love succeeding. If you don't love succeeding as strongly, what is it that make you hate failure? You'd think that you enjoy the after affects of not failing, which in turn would be the sense of accomplishment that you get from succeeding.
ReplyDeleteAwh Brynne you dont ramble:)
ReplyDeleteShelly- Wow! I totally relate to your blog and I feel like you get why I depend on people, so much. I just love how you describe fear, as losing self control, because I feel the same exact way. I like all the scenerios you incorprate in your blog talking because they seem so really and personal and I totally connect to the context them. The way you wrote your blog really made me for the first time feel a connection I felt like someone understood, so thanks for that! :)
ReplyDeleteResponse to Kristen’s Comment: To answer your question, I’ll use my Africa example. Let’s say you have this overwhelming fear of needles, but you’ve always had this dream of traveling Africa. You get the vaccination to fly over and are ready to go, but then for some reason no airports are allowing any more flights into Africa. Either you find another way to achieve your dream, avoiding your fear or use the domination of this fear to help you in another aspect of your life. Using the Africa example again, if airplanes are no longer entering Africa, you could find a boat that’s traveling there. It’s another method to achieve your dream, but still achieving your dream. Also, getting this vaccination can help you in other ways in your regular life. If you have a deep hatred for needles, but get this vaccination and realize that you won’t die from a measly little needle, you’ve learned and grew stronger. No longer being scared of needles, or at least not being as fearful of them, can help you in everyday life, for example, if you need to get blood taken. Although it became unnecessary in the steps to achieve your dream of traveling to Africa, I’m sure it would come up in your everyday life to help you through something else, or eventually come up as a step to achieve a later dream. I hope I answered your question in a way that makes sense. If not, let me know and I’ll try to further clarify!
ReplyDeleteHannah: I love how you make the transition of being sentimental and all of a sudden I find myself laughing. Your humor is so subtle yet I always find it. When you said, "I'm not afraid of bugs because they're like two inches long..." I could just picture you saying that in my head. (Great voice) I agree with everything you said too, and I admire/envy the fact that you don't let fear get in your way.
ReplyDeleteAlex V:
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Kyle got in trouble for calling Ms. Bunje "nice". I don't know if it works like that for "lovely" too. Second, why do your posts always manage to make me laugh? Third, I agree. Too much fear does suck. Me being afraid of dogs when i was little was pretty bad, seeing as how we had two of them. And I know people that would never ever ever get on an airplane. Too much fear limits possibilities and ultimately leads to unhappiness.
Kaitlin: You certainly clarified everything! Thanks :) But I still believe that there are those fears that if you try to conquer them, you might fail and never be satisfied.
ReplyDeleteKate H-- I have a fear similar to yours but it is also completely different. I'm afraid my mother will dye before I accomplish my dreams. I'm sure you will do your best even if you dont make it to the top, I admire your honesty
ReplyDeleteThe quote in my opinion basically means that without confidence and courage, fear will always be in the way of what we want and reaching our full potential. And it's true. If people just did things without doubting themselves, of course not everyone would be successful all the time, but there would never be those missed opportunities or times where others say that they didn't try their best.
ReplyDeleteFear is an object, person, result or feeling that someone wants to avoid either because of attributes of their own persona or from unpleasant personal experience. To me, it's the anxiety that keeps me from being the person I want to be.
Now, I have two huge fears. One of my biggest fears is disappointment and all the things attached to it. Failure, disappointing myself, my parents, not being able to hold up to the standards that I have been before, not improving but instead moving backwards. All of it falls under the fear-umbrella of disappointment. I don't want to disappoint myself. This year I've been working my butt off, but I haven't been able to keep the grades I want, therefore humiliating myself from falling from where I once was in front of everyone and also disappointing myself in not being the state the that I know I can be and once was. I fear disappointing my parents. I am completely and entirely the opposite kind of person they want me to be, and for that I am the disappointment of my parents. I often scramble around and drive myself crazy to try to please my friends and all the other people in my life by trying to remain sane and nice, but I can never please everyone. I'm always slacking to somebody. My life is just full of constant disappointment to everyone. I feel that I am on the edge of being the biggest disappointment to ever walk this earth. That might be exaggerating, but really in my mind, the fear is so large that sometimes it seems very well true. And though my fear is not being all I can be, that very fear impedes me from staying away from it.
My second fear, is fear that I'm not only going to turn into a disappointment, but i'm going to turn into a monster. I have often been called a "seductress-bitch" (hence the seductress part of my last blog entry) and I'm afraid that this will consume me. I don't want to be a bad person. I don't want to become someone that's not respectable or someone that's incapable of inspiring. I don't want to look back on my life and see that I was a horrible person. I try to be nice to everyone and things still go terribly wrong. My fear is that these results will soon become me and I'll be just as I said, a monster. I don't want to be a monster. I want to be a good person.
These two fears have always been the dominant ones in my fear family. And each year they've grown bigger and bigger as I become more and more of a failure and my moral compass gets hazier. Normally I would be all, "I'm going to overcome this, I'm going to!" and I try to motivate myself to do it, but there's always that raging war in my mind, that voice telling me that it's all going to crumble.
I think it's because I've disappointed myself and so many other people, and I've come so close to becoming a monster, that this has become an overwhelming fear of mine.
Despite this overwhelming fear, I often push myself to do things even though I'm screaming inside to stop. I push myself to try hard in school even though I'm destined to fail, to keep trying to keep my parents and friends happy, to keep a respectable reputation and personality. The way I deal with the fear is to do just that, deal. I'm not quite strong enough to overcome it and eliminate it, I know that and I'll admit that. But I manage it. I stifle it when I can, I try as hard as I can not to show it when I have to do something important. And though those demons will always sit on my shoulders, I'm not afraid to say that I am afraid. I will fight it. I know that someday, I can beat it.
Justin -- you're always going to be disappointed with that mind set. What if you're aren't successful? Do you think you could find happiness within the fact that you tried your best to get where you are. I have faith in this but I've noticed that nothing is ever good enough. You are a well rounded outgoing intelligent boy, I wish you could find happiness within it.
ReplyDeleteResponse to Kristen's Response: I'm sure there are exceptions. There are always exceptions. I'm just speaking generally, but yes, I agree. I'm sure there are some exceptions you may be able to find.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome Brynnie :}
ReplyDeleteLauren: I almost feel bad that you feel as if flaws are equal to failure. However, I understand, and the truth is that we all feel that way about something in our lives. I hope that you can get over your fear, at least a little because how else is the US going to win in the Swimming Olympics if you have fears in the back of your head ? :)
ReplyDeleteKelsey: I love how little kids have no fear, and I loved how you related it to your own personal experiences as a gymnast. You need to kick that fear in the B-U-TT and bring out that same fearless gymnast that you once were. By the way, you are a really great writer.
Shelly: A room of suede.. haha :) i hate the feel of velvet ! Anyway, your blog described yourself amazingly well and that's what I hated about it. You're such a crazy, fun, deep person. You have every right to stand up for what you want, and I feel as if you're finally learning that. :) You're intro was so intricate (loved it!)
Part 1
ReplyDelete"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith."( Mary Manin Morrissey) Fear. It has a way of creeping into the minds of even the bravest of men. Often, these fears debilitate one so utterly that it is virtually impossible to function properly. Yet, we must fight against these fears and not let them dominate every decision we make. If you refuse to battle your fears, then it’s better if you just give up (to begin with), because ultimately, you are a failure. A little harsh? Well, get used to it because life does not sugar-coat the truth. “The things worth having are worth fighting for.” This quote goes hand-in-hand with what Morrissey attempted to explain (through her quote). Fear is only another obstacle that you must overcome, in order to become a success. It is inevitable, that you will have fear, but you have to plow through them just like any other obstacle you may encounter. Bowing down to these irrational fears only result in one thing; complete failure and loss.
Every Thursday night, my cousin and I would sit down at precisely 9 o’clock to watch our show, Charmed (Go on, laugh it up).The demon that intrigued me the most, from that very strange show, was Barbas. The other demons were uncreative and mildly entertaining. They would simply eat you alive or stab you to death. Yet Barbas was the demon, who dared to be different. He chose to kill people with their greatest fears. For instance, if I was afraid of hobos, Barbas would conjure, from my imagination, a rapid drunken hobo that would shank me to death. Original, no? (If you got to die, might as well be interesting)If Barbas could peek into my crazy little brain, he would find my irrational fear of being left alone. Yes, he would see the others, like my insignificant and sometimes absurd fears, such as my fear of ceiling fans, big dogs, and clownsI always known that Barbas was real, he would kill me with loneliness. (Let me clarify something though, when I say “loneliness”, I don’t just mean a romantic relationship. This loneliness also includes friendships and family.) Don’t ask me how he would do, that man is a genius and very resourceful, but I am sure he would. (Sorry I know that was kind of unrelated).
This weird fear of being left alone has always been significant part of my personality and even my life. I distinctively remember when I was little (maybe 5 or 6), before I went to be bed, I would put all my Barbies huddled together in my closet. Why, you ask? I figured they could use the company to fight away the solitude. All my Barbies had husbands, or a long distance relationship where their boyfriend would call them every night and visited every weekend (I had 5 Barbies and only 3 Kens, someone HAD to have a boyfriend that was away). They all had children and “imaginary” family members and they were all best friends. They were never alone.
Part 2
ReplyDeleteYet my fear has greatly evolved since then. In fact, it has aggrandized. I think about it late at night. I think about it when I am reading a good Romance book. I think about when I get in a fight with my sister. It’s just ubiquitous now. With every year I grow older, this fear increases. Though I have some great friends, that does not seem to be enough anymore. My relationship with my family is strained. And oddly, I have not met one person that I would ever want to spend more than two hours with, let alone my entire life. Don’t get me wrong. I do not want to get married at sixteen or anything; I just want someone that can be my boyfriend and one of my best friends. Is that too much to ask for?
I try to use my fear to fuel my growth as a person. Because of my fear of being alone, I am vey social (I would like to believe that is a good trait). Anyone who knows me can contest that I definitely am NOT the kid in the back of the class, who does not say anything. I like meeting new people, because I’m good at it. So in my case, my fear becomes me strength. That’s how I deal with it; by trying to achieve the complete opposite.
This odd fear probably arises from the fact that I have always been surrounded my people. I have become so accustomed to being a small apartment with twenty cousins, my sisters, and my aunts and uncles (back in the good old days), that I can not imagine my life otherwise. No, I FEAR otherwise. It is also due to the fact that everyone in my family has found the love of their lives at an early age; they have married, and led great lives with beautiful children. What if I am uncapable of that? What if I am unlovable? What if I am destined to be left alone? What if I am a genetic dead-end (I heard that somewhere, don’t know where, and it just fits so perfectly) ?
My immediate thought after reading the quote is that you are your biggest enemy. When one is scared of the consequences, the unknown or the end result being something terrible rather than believing in oneself and having faith to live that dream, that dream becomes unreachable. Nothing is impossible until fear overrides faith.
ReplyDeleteFear – A feeling that comes about from the unknown because it is not familiar; a feeling that makes one sick; a reason behind lack of sleep; a feeling that is so sharp and uncomfortable it causes death.
My biggest fear is to lose my sister, to lose what we have between us because no relationship is even close in comparison. We have fought so many times and for two months we didn’t speak but those two months were hell. I can honestly say I have gone to hell and back to realize how important my sister is to me. Sure we fight and say things we don’t mean and even things we mean, but I couldn’t imagine repeating those two months again without my other half. I have lay in bed for hours wondering what is going to happen when she goes to college because God knows she will not answer a text. She loves sleep, as do I. Our schedules will be so different and the both of us will grow closer with different friends. What will happen? Fear – A feeling that comes about from the unknown.
I know when I was in eighth and ninth-grade I loved my sister, but not nearly as much. My freshman year is when those dreadful two months occurred and I will never go back. I was most scared of getting kidnapped or hurt in anyway, but nothing as meaningful as my sister. Fear has become more serious, I think. Sure kidnapping and injuries are still important and serious and should be my top fear but they aren’t. Fear has evolved more into my dependency onto my sister. This evolution of fear, for me, has come from those two months in 2007. I missed her more than I ever imagined missing someone. I would rather be hurt so terribly bad than ever feel that emptiness again.
I have learned to rarely stop myself from fulfilling something I have wanted to because of the simple fear factor. I admit to hesitating to the situation, but I rarely run from it. There have been many times that I regret not going what I wanted to. Because of my previous fear of rejection, pain and being forgotten, I have, at times, not stood up for myself. I fell into situations where there were two roads, and I sure as hell did not choose the one that I wanted.
Fear is a good thing to feel. I hate it, but it’s not the worst thing. One can then overcome that fear and learn nothing is impossible because, as said previously, you are your biggest enemy. One has to accept fear in its way and approach it. It may bite and kick your ass, but that is the only way of knowing how you can fully follow your dreams.
Fear. Fear. Fear. I keep saying the word, but I can’t seem to find an overwhelming emotional response anywhere in me. I mean sure there are some things that scare me: serial killers, rejection, death, public humiliation, and unprotected heights being some, but I’m not one to let fears rule my life. I generally practice ignorance is bliss. I don’t think about things that are frightening and therefore live my life pretty normally.
ReplyDeleteDictionary.com says Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. It’s hard to define it in my own words but I guess simply put, I’d say it’s how you feel when something scares you. It’s a feeling, feelings change, feelings can be overpowered. That’s why fears are kind of silly. I used to be a hardcore fan of the show Charmed. There was this demon bad guy on their who would kill people using their worst fears. But the catch is, the main characters always beat him by overcoming that fear. So really, you’re scared, you overcome, you move on.
I’m pretty sure I’ve had the same set of things that scare me for awhile now. I’ve hated unprotected heights since 7th grade, rejection since 8th, public humiliation since birth, serial killers since setting my eyes on the 6 o’clock news, and death since I went to a funeral. So I’ve carried these fears for awhile, but I’m just good at overcoming them on a day to day basis. Like I don’t think about being killed by serial killers every moment of the day that would make me paranoid. I don’t need anything more in my life to obsess over.
"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith."
The quote basically means that when you let your fears grow too big, you won’t be able to pursue anything because you’ll always find that fear in everything. This quote is not me. Rejection for example is terrifying, but just because I could be rejected won’t stop me from taking a spritz of Listerine and walking over to a cute boy in Borders. (Chrissy will understand this haha)
It’s not too much of a surprise that fears don’t exactly hold me back. Sure I may fear unleashing my parents’ wrath, but I tend to follow my heart. You just need to say “Eff the consequences, I’m going to live!” Fears drive people insane, like germaphobes. They spend their lives cleaning because they’re scared of germs. Really? Really germaphobe? Get a maid, take off your hazmat suit and join the ranks of the living.
I suppose there are good fears. I fear disappointing important people, because of this, I work hard in school, I put a lot of effort into the things I do, etc. If I didn’t care what they thought, I wouldn’t push myself as much. Drama for example, is absolutely crazy right now. Tomorrow is opening night…I still can’t believe that. Well, Tunney, our director, expects a lot out of us actors, especially the upperclassmen. Though, I may have it in my mind to stay on her good side, I don’t want her to be disappointed with me. I put a lot of dedication into theatre and I would hate for all of that to go down the drains because Tun didn’t believe in/give roles to/like me.
Inspiration and Motivation by Taylor: So basically we all just need to reason with our fears and say, “You know, you’re really not so bad. I think I’ll be ok living with you… but you’re getting the bottom bunk.”
Jourdan - I have to comment on the fact that you had to add in "attractive" describing your rugby player. Anyway, I never thought of fear being motivation. It makes complete sense in the way you explained, I totally agree with it. But in your case, don't you think that fear is overpowering your dreams more than it is motivating them? You're a beast, remember that.
ReplyDeleteKaitlin - I love your definition of the quote. Every comparison painted the giant letters of 'FEAR' into my head and dressed them with scariness. My favorite sentence is "With faith, you will walk again." I agree with all your descriptions, too, of fear and faith. They both will always exist, but is one ever greater than the other?
Hannah - We must be twins because we're both scared of losing our siblings and I didn't even read yours until after I wrote mine. Ash and me are only 18 months apart too! Anyway, I totally relate with feeling alone without your brother. I went to New Hampshire to visit my stepdad's family and I met my six or seven cousins and not one of them stayed and talked to Ashley or me. But I had her, which made it all the better. And you have Carl, he loves you more than you know.
First off, to interpret this quote, I think it's obvious what Morrissey is saying on the surface: that our fears inhibit us and prevent us from realizing our potential, but this sentence has deeper meaning. By addressing the reader directly in saying “when you allow your fears to grow...” instead of simply saying 'when your fears grow...' or something like that, the author is implying that we are in direct control of our fears and only we can overcome our fears. Also, the entire sentence revolves around the concept of “when you allow your fears to grow bigger than your faith” implying that the author believes that fear can not be eradicated completely, that we will always have fear in something, we just have to suppress it so it doesn't “grow bigger than your faith.” The author believes in fear, but she also believes that we can only control, manage, and suppress it, and that fear is an everlasting part of our psyche as humans.
ReplyDeleteBut I believe that that all depends on what exactly “your fears” are to you. I think that for something to qualify as a fear, it has to be identifiable(and therefore easier to combat and overcome). I think that a fear has to be a solid, physical thing, or an established, understood idea for it to be a fear. In other words, a fear has to present a clear concern and a physical cause for anxiety. I don't like the concept of a fear being some kind of abstract idea, or something that someone else tells you you're afraid of, especially when the fear is valid, like being afraid of physical pain or blinking when someone fakes a punch at you. A fear HAS to be something that can be overcome, otherwise it'll just make you crazy because you become afraid of something that can't change; there's no way out unless you change your perception of things, which is very hard for a lot of people.
I think my definition of fear works. It's stable, and I think it simplifies a lot of complex problems involving fear. At the moment, by my definition, I don't see myself as having any fears-I've acknowledged everything that causes me problems and I've worked through it. I probably do have little fearful tendencies that I don't understand, but I don't want to understand. I want to distance myself as far away as possible from anything that I don't already know. After all, ignorance is bliss, right?
I think I've come quite a long way in a pretty short amount of time to where I am today. All freshman year, and the beginning of last year, and even a little while this summer I was afraid of failing, afraid of my future and what would become of it if it wasn't perfect, afraid of what kind of a legacy I might have to create for myself, but now I can honestly say that I couldn't care less. I sleep well again(that is, when I manage to get more than that quick snooze on my bus before the sun comes up). And I really don't give much of a damn about failing or passing anymore too. I not trying to be arrogant, though, I'm just trying to be carefree and relaxed. Maybe I'm afraid of not being too carefree and relaxed, though? Eh, whatever, I'm fine.
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ReplyDeleteComments
ReplyDeleteTo Shelly: First, I would like to say that your writing technique is so original. Second, I want to comment on your “fear of fear”. I think everyone fears fear. I know that I do. In my opinion, that fear is the worst. I would rather be afraid of spiders, something concrete that I can deal with or kill (though I do not approve of killing insects, I draw the line at spiders). How can you kill fear? It’s the fears that you can not see that affect the most. (sorry if that did not make sense).
To Brynne: Brynne, sometimes your worst enemy is yourself ( I m not talking about you specifically, just people in general). That is exactly why I always try to make friends with everyone. I mean, the girl who’s got friends, can’t be left alone, right? I realized though Brynne, that sometimes even in amongst hundreds of people who supposedly love you; you can find yourself utterly alone.
To Hannah:I think the relationship you and your brother share is so beautifully. I do not think you have nothing to fear because no matter what happens, since you guys love each other so much, you can work out together.
To Jourdan (Jorgie :)): I LOVED your comparison of fears to a parasite. That was the perfect way to describe it. Fear does just that lives off of us. Your blog was just poetic Jourdan. I loved reading it! (No exaggeration). It leeches off of you until you finally have the guts to pull it off before it sucks you dry.
Kyle:
ReplyDeleteYour first paragraph made a lot of sense. Like Taylor also said, we will always live with fear. It's basically how we control it, ignore it, or deal with it that really matters.
alex v. i like your story about irrational fear. it is a good way to lead into your fear. you also tie your whole story together well when you say ," In healthy doses"
ReplyDeleteTaylor: YOU WATCHED CHARMED TOO?!!!!!!!!!!!Everyone I have every told i watch that show, laughs in my face.
ReplyDeleteMary Manin Morrissey is saying in her quote that people block what they want to become because of fear, halting forward progress. Live for your dreams and not let your fears stand in your way.
ReplyDeleteI don’t let fear stop me from ever doing something I want to. I am not fearless by far, I just over come it with rational thinking, and a little bit a craziness. So I guess my big fear is the dark. I was more scared of the dark when I was younger. I was small and imaged different possibilities that could happen to me. I could be mauled by a wild animal or kidnapped by some creeper hiding in the bushes. But I’ve realized that this would never happen. If it did I’m big enough now to stop any of the dangers lingering in the depths of the dark unknown. If you let fear control you life is dull. Why take the safe way when it’s no where nearly as good as the one that is a little scarier. For example, some one who is afraid of heights will walk around a mountain and only see trees; however, if they go up the mountain they will see the most beautiful scene. They will never know this because they are a little scared to go a little higher than what they are comfortable. I am the kind of person who will try almost anything for the thrills. If I’m scared I get over it and live life to its full extent. I may be a little crazy but I am not really afraid of death, I once was but I have figured we all die sometime, I just hope my time is not soon. I still have my conscience to tell me not to do stupid things. It has probably stopped me from getting badly hurt.
Fear has made me a different person, more like overcoming fear has made me different. I used to be a very shy boy. I had only a select group of friends and I didn’t talk much. As the years roll on my fears vanish more and more. I was afraid to talk to girls and I let it stop me from really having a girl friend till freshmen year. At dances I would usually just sit around and talk with my friends. My first Oakcrest dance helped me overcome my awkwardness dancing. Jon S and some of my other new friends taught me to just be me and not worry what others thought. Now I do all sorts of things most people are to afraid to do because they will be laughed at. I toss fear to the side and I don’t think of what might happen. The only time I’ll have to worry about that is if it does. Fear will not keep me from living my life to its fullest.
"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith."
ReplyDeleteYou decide not to do anything. You avoid it or watch it pass by wistfully. You don’t do anything. No action nothing towards it, that might make or break you. It is true what Morrissey says, a fear can refrain you from fulfilling your dreams. It’s like a fear of public speaking. Inside the noggin there are ideas, powerful or meaningless, up to the public to judge, but you don’t give it a shot. There could have been a possibility of persuading the public but since your fear was bigger than faith, your dream shatters.
When I was younger, about my middle school years, my fear at the time came from scary movies. Watching a scary movie, I was not afraid. But when the sun set and it was time for bed, scary movies haunted me. They crept up in my dreams keeping me awake almost the whole night as I tossed around meticulously examining every corner in my room from where I slept. And this effect did not happen in only one night, it lasted about a week or maybe more until Candy Man slowly faded away from my memories. Not that I completely forgot the black figure and his hook and his body under that jacket composed of bees, it just became meaningless after a while that I moved on.
That was one big fear of mine; reliving a scary movie. Being part of a horror plot. Being part of a scene where I’m likely to die. Witnessing deaths in the most cruel and unusual way possible such as Final Destination. But I don’t have a fear of that now because I know many of the stories are fake. I don’t get nightmares because I’m old. I know things better than I did when I was younger.
I can fear anything that inflicts harm towards me. I’ve learned the horrors in this world. But I haven’t experienced any that makes me truly scared. I’m scared for people that undergo such things, such as those who are in war and those that are being abused. When it comes to me I have nothing to be afraid of. I believe fears derive from some instance in one‘s life, like my scary movie incident; nobody was born fearful. I know I’ll fear drowning if the whole world just happens to flood. I know I’ll fear criminals if one happens to break into my house and start shooting. I know I’ll fear bees if I’m deathly allergic to them ( I haven’t ever gotten stung by one :/). Then…
Maybe I fear a bad outcome of my future. Instead of focusing on the past and figuring out my fear from personal experience, my fear derived from being exposed to the reality. I fear becoming unsuccessful in life; a loser. I fear immensely disappointing and losing my loved ones. I fear being lost in this world. I fear unhappiness. I fear a quick death. I DO fear anything that inflicts harm in my life. But I don’t really think about it because I live in the present. Today is just a day, I thought to myself, I don’t live life in fear and I don’t have any that created my fear for today or this year. I’ve realized that I do have fears, even though there are many, however, they’re not as great as my faith.
Fears are sometimes good. It helps you grow and gives you chances. Let’s go back to the fear of public speaking (which I loathe). Jacob is a green party strategist speech writer. He is filling in for his sick boss by giving out speeches to the public but fears doing this. He can overcome it (growth) and can later on be comfortable talking to other large groups of people while helping his partner out in which may help the organization go global (chance) or do the opposite and not prosper. Sometimes fears keep you out of trouble. For instance, Lisa is afraid of her parents because of their strict parental guidance. She is constantly working hard and avoiding anything that may show disgrace. So she stays on her good side, and away from trouble. (Sorry if bad example).
Faith cannot just be described as the belief or confidence in something or someone. It has to include the drive and determination behind that faith that makes that particular belief worthwhile. If there was no true emotion or driving force behind that, how would a person’s dreams and aspirations ever be achieved? In Mary Manin Morrissey’s quote, fear is the inhibitor to that willpower needed to make your dreams realities. If we allow any type of fear to block our confidence or certainty in anyway, we in turn block our dreams. These dreams could be a life-time away, but if we let ourselves fall into a cycle of letting fear stop us in our short-term aims, there is no guarantee that we will one day be able to overcome this hurdle. Not all fears can go away, and for some, their fears can grow and slowly start to control them in ways they may not have noticed before.
ReplyDeleteFear follows me almost everywhere I go. Although I rarely show it, I experience the feeling of fear way too much for a healthy individual. I’m fearful when I’m walking down the hallway by myself. I’m fearful when I’m in the shower. I’m fearful when I’m going to sleep at night. I’m fearful as I’m typing this very blog entry. My fears stem from various instances that I experienced in my younger days. Each of my fears is connected to something that I did, saw, heard, or even thought up of myself in reaction to something else. I’m not prone to any irrational fears because I always want to have a reason as to why I’m scared of something, but even in that, I always wonder if my reason is reason enough.
Fear, in its definition, is described as ‘a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined’. Sure, that definition is all fine and dandy, but it mentions nothing about how debilitating fear can be if left to take over an individual. It mentions nothing about how it can control the life of someone, and in extension, that person’s close family and friends. To me, fear is the force that can both block you from your goals and push you towards other ones. For example, I’m actually afraid of performing, singing, and even speaking in front of people. I don’t like to be put in the attention of a lot of people because I’m always worried that I’ll look stupid, sing a wrong note, or say something that no one will understand. In some cases, that stops me from speaking my opinion and getting my point across. However, in most cases, I use that fear as a form of energy and a mini-confidence booster to get myself up off my butt in into the ‘spotlight’. I don’t ever want myself to fall victim to my fears, because I don’t want to live a life in which I regret any of my past decisions.
PART 2
ReplyDeleteFor the most part, my fears have stayed consistent throughout my life. I was always afraid of being in front of people, but as I got older, I began to realize WHY I was always so scared of it. Like most, I’ve always been afraid of failing. However, I worry about failing in all aspects. These include failing tests, failing classes (which thank gosh, has never happened!), failing at something I worked really hard on, failing at something I expected to pass with flying colors, and failing the expectations of my family and friends. This fear doesn’t really keep me up at night though, because I tend to stray away from thinking about that. Just the thought of failing can keep me up for hours, and especially in these days, I need as much sleep as I can get.
I’m also extremely scared of being stabbed. That’s what leads me to being scared about walking somewhere by myself or going somewhere late at night. I’m always worried that one day, when I least expect it, something will happen where someone will pull out a knife on me. It’s not the knife that freaks me out though, I can handle that. It’s the thought of pulling the knife back OUT of me that really scares me. Just typing it makes me cringe…so I’m going to stop now. *shiver*
Overall, fear isn’t something that tends to keep me back from living my life. In fact, in comes in as a pretty useful tool most of the time. My fear keeps me aware of my surroundings, and it constantly reminds me to be careful. Jesus knows I need to be more careful. I transform my fears into materials that I can use to push me through those moments of being scared. Whether that means I have to give myself a pep-talk, or I need to give myself an extra energy boost, I use the anxiety build-up from my fears to propel me forward. For me, fear isn’t the reason why I don’t do things, it’s actually the force pushes me forward to do things I probably wouldn’t even care about doing if I didn’t have that fear. And it’s when I put it into that perspective, that I’m more than thankful of being born a huge and bumbling wimp.
Taylor!
ReplyDelete'I generally practice ignorance is bliss. I don’t think about things that are frightening and therefore live my life pretty normally.'
I do the same thing when it comes to my fear for failure! I try not to think about it all the time because I know it will cause me to act weird.
P.S... I love how we both used Dictionary.com's definition of fear in our blogs. :P haha
Fear is the foundation of hatred, missed opportunities, failure and the surrounding force outside our bubble of comfort. I say this because I believe fear runs our lives, above passion and success I believe the ultimate factor to any outcome is fear. The quote "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith" makes obvious absolute sense. People go through life with a goal or dream, but with barriers and obstacles that fear scratches on the inside of our skull like nails on a chalk board making people go out of their way to avoid fear. People should not let the fear of the path to their dream obstruct their faith, because when fear overwhelms us we cannot grow as people. We must overcome fears to reach new heights, we must travel “the path not taken”, and we must overcome the fear that threatens our faith; because without faith and belief there cannot be a dream.
ReplyDeleteFear, I believe is a much more general term than just “afraid of something” such as the dark. I believe humans are creatures of habit, who confide that being in a bubble of comfort is where they love being. When a human is faced with an outside force to this bubble such as public speaking, their bubble is popped and they feel naked in the sense that they now are on edge and out of their comfort range. Through that babbling my point was that fear is anything that makes people feel uncomfortable, the feeling of unease that stresses a person out. It sounds general, but if you work that definition in with your fear it makes sense because I believe fear is ubiquitous throughout lives representing itself through various ways.
This question makes me think, fear, what am I afraid of most? But my biggest fear, to narrow down my insecurities and my uncomfortable situations to one thing is pretty hard. I am afraid of heights, but like amusement park rides. I hate small spaces, but I’m not claustrophobic. I don’t like needles but I don’t mind pain. I am reserved but not afraid of speaking. I think I got it, I am afraid of the unknown. Fear of the unknown makes my skin crawl more than ever. The idea of an endless space and time makes my brain bleed. The unanswered questions such as afterlife, life outside our world, and happenings in this world, it all makes me shake my head in disgust. Something that is so close yet the answer is further than I could imagine. This fear has always made me cringe, I have had a lot of fears resulting from insecurities that I had/have, but for the most part they have not decided anything major in my life.
This fear of the unknown also relates to not knowing simpler things such as what someone said about me. This has affected my thinking because I spend so much time thinking of possible outcomes, and becoming obsessed with what someone else said. When in the end, isn’t ignorance bliss? Fear is overall a good thing to feel, it puts more structure on the world. People would do some crazy, and not to mention stupid every day because fear would be lacking. Example- Jump off a cliff! Like I said before fear is tied into everything we do every day, it even ties into common sense and helps guide us through life.
Alex N:
ReplyDelete“Last year I had Mr., Sera for AP Gov., which was horrible for me. If I wasn’t scared enough as it was, he made it worse. That man had the craziest theories, and I knew that they were only theories. However, for some reason in my head I can never stop thinking, what if.”
Bahaha! I’m so with you on this. That man scared the hell out of me when he went off on that whole ‘My name’s Mr. Sera and I take joy in scaring my student’s into moving to Australia, the country where nothing bad happens’ rampage for two days. Don’t feel bad about this one. It’s hard not too fear something when it’s shoved in your face with videos made by extremist psychos. For me, I left class shaking, forgot about it within a day and moved on with my life. You got to deal with all those fears you’re living with, it’s not healthy!
S-Wright=
“Though being alone is my biggest fear, it isn’t constantly on my mind because it’s not a pressing issue. My school work is the task at hand, so the fears school produces are what is frequently on my mind.”
I can’t say I fear school and the work in it, but I definitely agree with what you’re saying. What actually keeps me up at night is my hectic schedule, the bundles of homework I’ll be working on during study hall the class before it’s due, adding details to my dress. That keeps me up at night. I fret if I’ll be able to complete everything in the small amount of time I really have. Like this blog for example, I’ve never waited so long to complete it…Thanks hell week of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Lukey-
“This quote is incomplete. While fear, when larger than faith, will in fact block dreams, the inverse is not always true. Having more faith than fear will not win battles. Faith is only a step in the right direction. To defeat fear and achieve these goals, action must be taken. Faith facilitates action, but it does not guarantee it.”
I honestly never thought about it like that. I like that you took that perspective. It’s quite logical, in fact your entire blog was. Which, is very Lucas. Your fears were exactly what I expected, not in like a mean way, I just could’ve guessed them. The fear of failure can be a good thing because it pushed you too care. But the other one, the fear of being the “weird kid” I think may be backwards. I think, and maybe I’m wrong, that you fear of being that kid in middle school who everyone disliked is more your fear than being the weird kid. The shy kid is your opposite extreme from being pompous and if that makes you feel like you’re the weird kid, then you got to find a happy medium.
PART 1
ReplyDeleteBefore I begin splurging my personal fears, I want to personally relate to Morrissey’s witty quote. I kind of regret stating in class that I want to be optimistic. Because, now that I think about, I’m really not all that optimistic constantly. I hold that bad habit of being a worry wart. For instance, I’ve been struck lately with an identity crisis. The whole “who am I” blog really got me thinking, and I basically mixed my thoughts in a bowl and baked up a big question mark. It’s, you guessed it, about my acting situation. My fear dealing with acting is simply getting rejected. Failing. So, “failing” at my acting career has been ubiquitous in my mind, and I’ve been constantly whining about my situation. If this lack of confidence is still present when I’m in college, how will I ever succeed? Thinking of failure will only lead to failure. Likewise, a good mindset can only lead to good things.
I produce specific fears from specific experiences, as well as specific time periods. When I was a tiny child, I spotted a slimy little creature in my backyard. I picked it up, saw its fangs, saw it hissing at me, and dropped it in terror. Now, I’m terrified of snakes. September 11 brought upon my horrendous fear of plane rides. When I was four years old, I vivaciously jumped off my trampoline, determined to start flying. I blacked out. Thus, I am still scared to jump on a trampoline. My version of fear has origins dating back 16 years. Some, fears, however, have come and gone. As I’ve grown older, fear had become a new concept. Once being ghosts and shark attacks, the majority of my fears have changed into realistic circumstances, such as burglary and failure.
Okay, now onto the nitty-gritty: I am absolutely terrified of death and everything relatable. Dead people, funerals, old furniture; the list can go on, but I’d probably cry if I kept on reminiscing.
I know generalizations (Gladwell) are tad risky, but maybe I’m just scared of the unknown. I NEED TO KNOW! Where do I go? What do I do? The suspense kills me. I shouldn’t be worried, but I am paranoid. Obviously I’m not the only one with this fear. Perhaps everyone has this fear, but we express it in different fashions. Here is my way of expressing this fear…
PART 2
ReplyDeleteWhen my grandmother passed away in December of last year, and when I attended her funeral, I found myself suddenly engulfed by a new and completely psychological fear. Dead people scare the living goons out of me! It just happened. Funerals supply me the heebie-jeebies. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but I cannot even fathom looking at a dead person anymore. What are they now? Lifeless, soulless, and breathless is the answer, and that is what strikes the fear. Where are they now? I’ll cry at the image.
This fear is both an obnoxious disadvantage and an ignorant gesture, at least to my mom. Now, I refuse to enter my basement, for it is flooded with my deceased grandmother’s furniture. I literally moan in horror when my mom asks me to touch it, or even walk around its diameter. My mom, to my dismay, fully believes that I hate my grandma, and thus I’m insulting the entire family. Sorry Mom, but it’s pretty insulting that you would even consider me being that type of person. Thanks to my ridiculous fear, I’m now classified as a first-class granny hater! I would usually theorize that fear signifies either weakness or nervousness, but this specific fear is truly unexplainable. There is no evidence or statistics!
A brilliant man, whom held an entire country on his shoulder during a severely tumultuous time, once gave this witty advice to his fellow Americans: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” Well said, Mr. Franklin D. Roosevelt, well said. Fear exposes our weaknesses. Fear blinds our optimism. Fear, as Morrissey states, blocks our dreams. We sometimes become awfully enwrapped in fears that we get easily distracted from the positives. Thus, our dreams meet our fears, and together they make a beautiful failure.
Now, I’m not going to conclude that fear is a repulsive and unnecessary tendency of human kind. In some cases, in fact, fear can make us stronger. Fear, in simplest terms, is a good feeling. It’s natural. If there were never any fear, we would all be comfortable and relaxed, satisfied with our status. Fear is what gets us moving, makes us feel uncomfortable, and what screams in our head, “DO SOMETHING”. Every instance I fail a Calculus quiz, I basically have a mini panic attack. I become extremely fearful. This fear is telling me “Do something about it!”. Unfortunately, I yet have something to improve my Calculus work ethic. Bad example. Anyways, fear is what forces us to take action, in some instances.
My biggest fear, which is death, may never vanish. It could also disappear tomorrow. But I believe to be true that the thought of fearing is more frightening than the actual fear itself. For instance, I will totally kill myself in distress as I anxiously wait in line to go on a stomach-churning roller coaster. Nothing, besides from death, makes me feel that sickened. Exiting the ride, however, shows a contrast. My tongue is sticking out, my lips form a huge grin, and I burst with millions of giggles. “Why was I ever scared?” When I believe the fear bug had bitten me, I freak out. I jump, I hide, I scream, I cringe at the thought of the image. But when I actually see the image, I become proud of myself for sticking through it! As they always say, “See, it wasn’t so bad after all!”
With this, fear is simply a natural and psychological mind game that we all develop from time to time. It can be your best friend, or it could be your worst friend. You may hate the feeling, but sometimes its present just to keep you moving along.
Provincial thoughts have created Fear. It is the narrow-mindedness of individuals that force a blockade drenched in hesitation upon themselves and their actions. The words of Mary Manin Morrissey, are words of genius. In one sentence, she manages to manifest the unknown feelings of many of us; We let our fears of rejection, and losing overcome our feelings of hope and destroy our final goals. Truthfully, then wouldn’t our day to day routines provoke provincial and coloring-inside-the-lines thinking? Then.. We would all be afraid, all have fears. I guess my fear would be vulnerability. There has been no evolution to my one fear, it has only remained constant throughout my journey. I am scared. I am scared to give someone/thing everything and get nothing in return. I refuse to be one of those girls.. You know the ones I’m talking about, in love with a new boy every week, and crying every weekend because they got dumped. I am scared to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is virtually inexistent for me because I was taught to be strong and that crying never solves anything. My fear must have been birthed by my feminist ideals, and my consistent need to be strong. And maybe my fear of vulnerability, sowed the seeds of my fear of loving. I am scared. I am scared to put my heart on the line for any stupid boy. I am a woman, therefore I am strong. Dissecting the total idea of this fear I don’t regret anything I’ve not put out there. It made me reserved, and wise. However, there always is that lingering trace of “What if” that probably will never dissolve. I hate stopping myself from falling, not only in love but into new people. It’s so hard for me to be able to not censor myself in front of people, because I’m scared to say something and that person not understand or hold it against me. Even with all the terrible things brought about with fear it is a necessary evil in all our lives. We need that little bit of fear to avoid the always awkward ‘cocky as hell hit then hit rock bottom’ nadir. While, without fear, we would be able to do amazing things, break every record, and say everything. Yet, that isn’t always the proper course of action. With fear, we have prudence and with fear we have wisdom. Provincial thoughts have created fear and I, myself have allowed it to exist, rightfully so. We all fear, we are all afraid, otherwise we wouldn’t put ourselves in routines of accessibility. It is the subconscious narrow-mindedness of people that allow fear, but is it really a bad thing?
ReplyDeletePart Uno
ReplyDelete“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”
Fear inhibits people from following their dreams when it is so high that it prevails over people’s desire to pursue their dreams. In other words, people who have more fear than desire are the people too scared to follow their dreams. People can be scared of failing in the pursuit, the pursuit itself, or even to dream, but it all doesn’t matter because people who have more fear than desire all share the same fate. They don’t chase their dreams.
What is fear? Fear is that feeling of anxiety and uneasiness that you and I and everyone on Earth occasionally feel. It chews our insides, crushing and twisting our organs with every bite. It’s a terrible feeling that consumes and controls us, but at the same time, it also motivates and protects of us.
My biggest fear that occasionally keeps me up at night is the fear that I am wasting my time right now. I’m afraid that all the effort, time, energy, thought, and work I put into school are all for nothing. Almost everything I do, I do it for school so that I can one day graduate from a good college and live a happy life. I fear my days of attending A+ University will never come. What if I don’t make it to a good college? What if I don’t live a happy life? What if I don’t achieve my dream job? What if, tomorrow, aliens ingress into their high-tech, tripod robot suits buried deep within the Earth, by the means of Earth-penetrating lightning bolts, and take over the entire world, killing me in the process?
This was not the same fear I had in my previous years because previously, I never had to work so hard. Therefore, I never really had anything to waste by going to B- University. Today, my efforts in school have increased tenfold and thus, if I continued to go to B- University, the school would literally point and laugh at my wasted effort. Instead of fearing unrelated, individual situations, such as ghosts haunting my soul or car accidents, I fear of individual situations that all connect to my greatest fear of wasting everything I put into school. For example, I, in addition to simply being scared of ghosts, fear that ghostly encounters will alter my thinking, make me go crazy, and point me in a direct that wastes my schooling efforts. I fear that a car accident will cripple me and destroy my chances at A+ University and a happy life.
Sarah Lombardo!
ReplyDeleteI love how you talked about Donna in your blog, when we were just talking about them today in gym! And just to clear it up..I was NEVER afraid of your horses. ;]
Anywho, I loved how you said that fear what that split second that a referee had to put into slo-mo. I didn't really think about it in that way when I first read the blog question, but now that I think about it now..I sometimes tend to experience fear in such a small amount of time that I may not even recall why I was so scared.
Part Dos
ReplyDeleteIn my past, fear has hurt me, occasionally stopping me from doing what I wanted to do. In these situations, my fear of doing was greater than my desire to do. This doesn’t necessarily mean, however, that I had a low desire to do something; it meant instead that I had a exceptionally high fear of doing it. For example, there was this girl; she was beautiful, smart, and the girl of my dreams. I liked her a lot but was too afraid of asking her to be my girlfriend, and therefore she was never my girlfriend (I can get Megan Fox if I wanted to). Although there are times when fear overpowers desire and prevents me from doing what I want, I never regret my inability to act. In fact, I never regret anything. Why regret what you can’t change?
Sometimes fear is beneficial. When it prevents you from doing something you shouldn’t do, and thus also preventing painful regret (for those of you that do regret), fear is beneficial. It is also beneficial when people overcome fear. The bigger the fear, the better it is to overcome. When people conquer their fears, they strengthen their character, and the more fears conquered, the stronger people will be.
Overcoming fears is what I try to do. When I fear something, I first think about whether my fear is logical, and from there, I decide on whether it would benefit me to overcome it. Applying this process to my biggest fear of wasting my effort, I have decided that I should not try to overcome it. Without this fear, I would become a lazy sack of meat and lose all motivation to excel in school. Motivation is the most significant benefit of fear. Fear of death propels soldiers in Iraq to live. Fear of losing propels people to win. Fear of wasting effort propels me to work even harder.
NOTE: "A lot of scary questions, I know." Is that a pun?
Alex N- It shocks me to see that you fear everything. There is so much out in this world that fear might stop you from seeing. “I feel that when ever, you miss an opportunity there is always some way to make up for it, if it’s something you really wanted.” In a way I sort of disagree with this statement because there are a lot of things I wish I had done but fear was a road block in my experiences. I will never be able to repeat those experiences. You seem to be afraid because of things you have read or shows you have seen, but go out there and try new things! Even though some of Mr. Sera’s theories made you question “What if,” What if he is right? Don’t be afraid of the world ending, be afraid you haven’t experienced everything yet!
ReplyDeleteChrissy:
ReplyDeleteYou're blogs are always so long! But I never skip them because I love the way you right! You always make great points and you write in a way that is really easy to read.
Taylor-
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read your blog, I was kind of shocked about your vague generalizations about fear. You were basically like "Whatevaa fear is whateva i want it to be!" Somehow, you always manage to make it sound absolutely perfect and sensible. The simplest definiton acutally made total sense. Fear is when you're scared. I seriously laughed when I read it (not because I was making fun of it, but because it's surprisingly vague). But I definitely agree that fear is something to be overcomed. As I mentioned in my blog as well, you're meant to "move on". So, to overcome your "rejection" fear, you grabbed your confidence and went up to that cute guy at Borders, and I'll always admire you for your somewhat sense of fearlessness.
Pooja!
ReplyDelete'That was one big fear of mine; reliving a scary movie. Being part of a horror plot. Being part of a scene where I’m likely to die. Witnessing deaths in the most cruel and unusual way possible such as Final Destination. But I don’t have a fear of that now because I know many of the stories are fake.'
Ahhh! I'm exactly the same way! Haha
Only, I wasn't able to get over it like you did. I still get scared by that kind of stuff, and even though its fake, I always feel like I'm the type of person who'd have some creepy super-natural thing happen to them.
Oi, and I don't think that was a bad example. I understood what you were talking about, and I seriously laughed out loud when you mentioned Lisa being scared of her parents...cause my mom scares the bejeepers outta me.
Alex S- I am glad to see that you have come out of your shell and finally fought your fears in high school. This is when people become more fearful, but you were the exact opposite. “If you let fear control you life is dull.” I agree with this statement. It is hard to live at all when you are controlled by fear, but on the flip side, fears make life a little more interesting too. Without fear, there is no thrill in over coming it. In reality, you are right… everyone is going to die, so why have fears.
ReplyDelete"if i only had a brain!"
ReplyDeleteUpon reading the quote I found myself applying it personally to my own life. My dreams or aspirations are not easy to reach. They’re difficult and there are many obstacles that I have to overcome. With all that dreaming, I build fear to the things that I am trying to reach. The only way to jump over these obstacles is to believe. I need to believe that I CAN do it. This is what Morrissey is saying. She’s saying that you’re going to have fears. Everyone will! But the moment that you allow those fears to overshadow your faith in doing what you need to do, then you lose.
ReplyDeleteFear to me is disappointment, failure, and loneliness. I fear disappointing myself, my family, and the people around me. Disappointment is not easy. It’s never easy when someone tells you “JV, I’m disappointed in you.” It’s just something that many can’t stand to hear. Being a disappointment leads to feeling like a failure. Not succeeding is terrible. Not being able to say that you rocked the shit out of anything you’re trying to do is fearful. Once you become a failure, you become lonely. Loneliness is just like a pit that you can’t get out of unless you find something that can bring you back up from that pit again. So basically fear is a cycle that’s full of emotions that anyone shouldn’t go through.
My biggest fear is what I’ve defined it. That entire cycle is my fear. I strive to achieve the best. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I don’t want to fail. I don’t ever want to be lonely. Those things have sometimes kept me at night. That’s only if I actually get enough sleep to be awoken by my fears. But that’s a different story.
My fear’s been the same all my life. It’s how I was brought up. I think it’ll stick with me through my entire life. It’s what I need to conquer to accomplish my dreams. I think that the fear’s always the same, it’s just that the instances in which they are involved are different. In 8th grade, I might’ve been worried about passing the GEPA, in 10th grade I was worried about passing my first AP Exam. That’s the simplest example I can think of but the magnitude of the situations can definitely increase much more than a standardized test. Whatever the situation though, I have a determined fear that I need to overcome with it.
As much as possible, I try not to stop myself from doing anything that I want. I’m the type of person that if I want something, I’ll try my damnedest to do it. If I don’t do it, then I have in turned fallen into my fears. So, fear for me is what keeps me from disappointing, failing, or landing myself into loneliness.
From there, my fear is a great thing to feel because it in itself helps me succeed and keep afloat and be happy. Fear sometimes can keep you in line and in check. I try to deal with it as much as I can. But sometimes, I just need to let loose and cry. Which happens a good amount times ever since Junior year. Shoot, it happened just today.
Simon-
ReplyDelete"It chews our insides, crushing and twisting our organs with every bite. It’s a terrible feeling that consumes and controls us, but at the same time, it also motivates and protects of us."
YES! I completely agree. Sure, everyone can agree fear is a arduous and unfavorable feeling, but it's also pretty helpful. It simply aids us in finishing that difficult obstacle course. It sounds extremely cliche, but "you can't live with it, and you can't live without it!"
Besides from this specific quote, i enjoyed reading your entire blog. I have the same fear of talking to intimidating/attractive boys (in your case girls). The inhibition of doing so, unlike you, I regret. I will never regret anything I've done, but I do regret things I haven't done. Fear has seriously inhibited me from talking to some pretty amazing guys, I must say!
Hannah s: "People get scared to pursue their dreams when they realize that they might have to work harder than expected or that they have a chance of failing."
ReplyDeleteA big part of fear is anticipation, I think, especially when they are irrational fears. It is sometimes easier to take the needle when you watch, and leave less to the imagination: because the imagination resides in the unknown.
Throughout our lives, we set up goals and aspirations that we yearn to accomplish. But with every ambition, every dream, an omnipresent shadow of fear lurks behind. I mean, there has to be; if you are not striving to overcome a fear or an obstacle, there would be no moral to the dream. I believe what Morrissey conveys through the quote is that people sometimes allow their fears to totally obliterate their dreams. They often lack the courage, the confidence, the passionate drive, capitulating to the fear and thus "blocking their dream."
ReplyDeleteHumans, although the most evolutionary complex,are the most fearful creatures on the planet. We tend to fear the world surrounding us, perhaps because we are alone. We have no other species which we can easily communicate and interact with. But what percisely is fear? Fear is a psychological emotion created by none other than ourselves. Yes, we create the very fear that lives inside of every single one of us. Like a shadow that lingers behind us, it is difficult to avoid, but undoubtedly, overcomeable.
My biggest fear is that I will end up having lead an insignificant life. I want to do things in the world that will change lives, I want to experience what it means to live, I want to be able to be truly happy with my life when the time comes for me to pass. Every night I end up thinking about my day. What have I done today? Did I try something new? Did I cherish every moment and lived it up? Most of the time I put my head down in dissatisfaction. I must admit, it is totally my fault for the unsatisfactory answers to these questions. Afterall, I have the ability to try something I have never done, I have the ability to cherish every moment. This fear has only recently been born, but I realize now that I regret it coming to me so late. I think what caused this fear to arise was when I started to really think about life. I had this sudden realization that I just roll along everyday without capturing cherishable moments, and without sentiment. Fromnow on, I think it best that I go ahead and make myself experience new things and capture moments and lock them up in my jeweled box of memories.
Furthermore, I have lived the past three years with the fear of being alone. Sure, I will always have family and friends, but having a person that understands you more than anyone else, a person that you were destined to be with, is really what would complete me. I fear that I will either lose the man I love or end up not discovering him at all. I've been told some of the luckiest people in the world are those that find true love, and if I got lucky in my life, I would like it to be when I discover the second half of my soul. (I know, I sound sort of greedy, but I think it's okay to be greedy when not concerning materialistic things, haha). I do not really know how I can deal with this fear. I mean, I must admit that I think I have found "the one" but that doesn't prevent me from fearing that I'll possibly lose him. For me, it's too overwhelming of a thought to think about right now.
I am certain these fears will linger on with me for a long, long time, during which new fears will be born, but I am hoping to put my fears aside and focus soley on my dreams and ambitions in life.
JV:
ReplyDelete"But sometimes, I just need to let loose and cry."
Sometimes thats the best way to deal with your fears! A good ole' cry may seem cliche but its true
T-Palm
ReplyDelete"So basically we all just need to reason with our fears and say, “You know, you’re really not so bad. I think I’ll be ok living with you… but you’re getting the bottom bunk.”"
You are a genius. That last bit put every point of your post in one neat and simple presentation. The best way I can think to decribe it is as a cute little Christmas gift box. What's most impressive though is that you didn't even have to lace your ideas into some complicated anecdote. You made it seem so effortless.
Lauren,
ReplyDeleteI have the same fear as you, a fear of failure. I also have the same game plan by setting myself up for failure. Everytime I do something, I always believe that I won't be able to do it or I believe the opposite of what I want to happen. It's a bad habit but I feel like it's something that we find comfortable. It's like a tactic to fight the fear of failing.
Alex S:
ReplyDelete"For example, some one who is afraid of heights will walk around a mountain and only see trees; however, if they go up the mountain they will see the most beautiful scene. They will never know this because they are a little scared to go a little higher than what they are comfortable."
That was really insightful. It put everything in perspective for me by allowing me to draw on personal experience. As I have stood at the top of a small mountain and appreciated the beauty that accompanies such a panoramic viewpoint, I thought of all I would have been missing out on had I stayed home with my younger siblings that day because I was scared of heights.
Naw, thanks Alix Lessexy!
ReplyDeleteI went to read your blog, as well.
Alix-
Wow. Wow. Wow. That was an amazing opening metaphor, for it was creepishly accurate! The fears do stand in the way of our dreams, or at least make the dreams a bit blurry.
I, as well, fear rejection. It seems like a highly recurring theme: the top fears are "rejection" and "failure". Maybe it's what we ALl fear. I'm not sure, I'm just hypothesizing. Anyways, this fear can be bad, for it prevents us for taking that risk and doing something AMAZING. However, its our own little secret service, protecting us from that awful unknown. All in all, I enjoyed your cute examples and personable writing style that you always add. :)
Deanna,
ReplyDeleteYou are so determined, I love it! I agree with you in saying that the only time it's a fear is when you let it stop you from moving along. By the way, I always have weird inkling feelings too of being possessed by evil spirits. I used to remember that when I was younger that I thought the girl and boy from the Grudge, Jigsaw, and all these creatures would come and get me at night, but I never let them stop me. What I did was I imaginged them already all in the room with me, coming at me while I'm in my bed. It's weird, I know, but it helped me a lot.
Jordan,
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with you about fear being a good thing on occasion. I have been through some personal experiences in which I have been so fearful of something that I want to throw up. I'm not saying that what you said was juvenile, but I think that (I hope you never do) if you ever eperience the most intense definition of fear, you will never see it as a good thing. Most people have never seen what fear really is, and they are lucky. Fear, though is not something to F around with and it's certainly never a good thing.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading all the posts, I have to say that Shelly’s interpretation of the quote pretty much describes my own. She’s right when saying that you should make your dreams bigger than your fears. You spend all your time, feeling, and concentration on your fears, and that overpowers your faith in your dreams and in yourself. How can you believe in yourself if you can’t even believe in your dreams?
ReplyDeleteOkay. Does anyone remember Earthworm Jim? (AKA - The most KICKASS character ever! Google him.) I looked up fear quotes and a quote came from him. I have no idea when he said this, but it's pretty awesome.
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration."
This is basically how I see fear. I see it as this little goblin in the back of your mind just trying to bring you down. It’s the thing that makes you second guess yourself. It’s the thing that makes you hesitate and consider only the bad outcomes of things. Fear is seeing the glass half empty, and once it’s there, you completely block out what good can come out of taking risks and facing uncertainties.
What do I fear? Well, when I was little I was TERRIFED of tornadoes and twisters. My dad took me on the Twister ride in Universal and after that I was scarred for life. (I don’t even know why. Now that I think about it, it wasn’t scary at all. It wasn’t even a ride, more of a show.) I will admit, I’m still a bit afraid, but not for the same reasons.
When I was little, I was afraid of being sucked up into that huge swirly death cloud and dieing. Now, I could care less about myself, but I’m worried about if my family dieing. It’s not just weather related fears, but also when I’m on an airplane, I’m afraid it will crash and my family will not survive.
When I’m on a plane with family, I am more afraid, but when on a plane by myself, I’m pretty calm.
I think fear has evolved me by making me more mature. It has made me grow. Sure, I still joke around and act like a kid, but fear has caused me to think longer and harder on decisions and really focus on how what I do affects other people and me. I really fear for the future now, and by fearing that if I make one mistake, everything will be lost, I really try to not fuck things up. I’m definitely less carefree than when I was a kid.
Fear continues to get the best of me. Just today in choir, I wanted to try out for a solo, but was afraid of being ridiculed and mocked. Even though I knew I could do the solo almost perfectly, and everyone wouldn’t be as harsh as I pictured in my mind, I still chickened out.
I beat myself up over things like this all time, but keep in mind that next time I’ll do better and won’t let that little goblin take over. Believe it or not, I’ve improved and changed dramatically. I am becoming more confident, and the fear in the back of my mind is ebbing.
Fear can be a good thing sometimes…but only when you conquer it. I’m going sky diving this summer, and I am terrified. What if the parachute doesn’t work? What if I squash at the bottom like some old Looney Toons cartoon?
I can’t wait though. When I hit the ground and survive, that moment will feel incredible. To know that I was scared out of my wits, but ignored fear will be amazing. When you conquer your fears, there’s nothing else that can stop you.
Cheekerpants,
ReplyDeleteYou're one of the only two perople who knows my entire situation. I never think fear is a good thing. I know you haven't experiences this kind of fear, but I know I have told you about it, and I hope if you really stop and think about how horrible fear can be, you will see it like I do. Overcoming a "fear" in sports, to me, doesn't count. Sports fears, I just consider worries. Fear, though, in its most intense sense, is not something to overcome, it's something to endure and hope it goes away.
To Kristen D
ReplyDeleteI’m scared of growing up too. I am familiar with the world of school and teenagers, and unfamiliar with the world of jobs and adults. I, like you, am not looking forward to all the financial responsibilities that we soon have to assume. Although we’re not looking forward to it, I think we are both ready even though you say that you are not.
Nothing I tell you will aid you in your college decision (heck, I can’t even decide for myself), but I can tell you that I understand the predicament you are in. A hundred people tell us every year to follow our dreams, but another hundred people tell us to be logical. So which side is right?
To Justin H
“Fear. A concept so seemingly understandable yet so complex and integral to our everyday lives.” This is such a true general statement. I agree!
“Fear is the inner drive that causes us to push ourselves, sometimes positively sometimes negatively, in order to accomplish ones goals.” I liked how you incorporated the idea of negative and positive fear throughout your entire essay. It really emphasizes how fear can be either good or bad. I also found it interesting that you and I share the same beliefs about regrets. More importantly, I found it interesting how you can shift fear and “make it into a good thing.” When I thought about fear, noted how it contributes to motivation, but I never even thought of the idea that I could turn all my fears into some type of motivation. Your style of dealing with fear is unique and effective.
To Alex S
“I don’t let fear stop me from ever doing something I want to. I am not fearless by far, I just over come it with rational thinking, and a little bit a craziness.” I liked the way you worded this idea because the word craziness explains the process of overcoming fear very accurately, at least for me and you. Thinking about it, nobody is fearless.
“Why take the safe way when it’s no where nearly as good as the one that is a little scarier. For example, some one who is afraid of heights will walk around a mountain and only see trees; however, if they go up the mountain they will see the most beautiful scene.” The example you used is perfect. After first, I was disagreed with your statement, “Why take the safe way when it’s no where nearly as good as the one that is a little scarier,” thinking that people should take the safe way because the other way is more dangerous. However, with you added example, I understand what you mean and even agree, to an extent, with you.
Kelsey,
ReplyDeleteYou're one of the most fearless people I know. I laughed when I read your first paragraph. It sounded so much like you. I knew that you're the type of person to be like "I don't care, I'll do it." It's really something to admire. But, don't ever regret anything. You know why? Because when you start doing so, it'll eat you up inside and that's not healthy at all. Don't look back to think about what could have happened. Look back only to see all the amazing things that you've already done.
Alix,
ReplyDeleteIt really does help. Everything turned out for the better, well, for the most part anyway.
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteOut of everyone, I think you may be able to relate to me the most. I don't doubt that your fear is something that keeps you up EVERY night. It's not good to be so fearful, but then again, what are you supposed to do about it? Nothing. Fear cannot be overcome. You just have to wait for the calm after the storm and know that everything will go away eventually.
-Roosa Z.
ReplyDeleteI disagree a bit with your point that “Fear is only another obstacle that you must overcome.” I think fear is a unique obstacle in its own right and downplaying it only makes us uneasy whenever it's brought back up. I think overcoming any kind of fear is the first and most important step toward success. Also, I don't agree with that quote, “'the things worth having are worth fighting for.'” I think that quite a lot of people go on to lead happy, boring lives without ever having to truly fight for anything, sadly.
-Alex V.
That thing about you falling in the backless steps isn't a fear, that's just plain ol' trauma. I get a little wary walking up stairs with no back either. Even though I've never fallen through, it does just seem like common sense to put a couple extra damn pieces of wood in the back! Anyway, I think fear and trauma are different in that fear is being afraid of something that hasn't really affected you much; it's just sorta “out there,” whereas trauma is based on experience and bad memories, and girl have I been traumatized in many, many ways.
-Paola D.
I couldn't've(that's a word, too!) said what you said in your first two sentences any better. You relate it all beautifully. And, it's exactly how I feel about fear, too. I feel like fear is built up inside of people due to clouded thinking and an uneasiness of what's around them. It's irrational and only leads to a person's perception of the world becoming an obstacle for them, and to me, overcoming that fear starts first with recognizing their ignorance.
Alexis: I can relate to your fear of disappointment. I, too, am afraid of disappointing the people that I care abut most. But you will never be the biggest disappointment to walk the planet because those friends you are trying to please will most likely not be disappointed. I know how it feels when you think you are the biggest disappointment because I've been there many times, but you will always have people that will never be disappointed in you.
ReplyDeleteBrynne: "I feel fear is evoked by the consequences of that fear."
I completely agree! You're examples are perfect. I've never really thought about it the way you put it and I'm glad I got a new insight on something. People are not really afraid directly of what they say they fear but what comes with/after it. My fear of living a life without meaning is because I'm afraid I won't be satisfied with the boring life I have lead.
Kristen: I know how you feel about the colleges. I am so afraid of applying to all these Medical and Pre-Medical that I have gotten excited for, only to receive a rejection letter because, to me, I feel like a disappointment. All of my family would be anticipating an acception letter only to be disappointed by rejection ones. Honestly, (I didn't even think to mention this in my blog) I am terrified that I will not get accepted into a decent medical school. This is another fear that haunts my nights and days. I fear it because of failure. Failure for my parents because they have invested so much for me and sacrificed so much and to have it all be ruined by simple letters of rejection into college is utterly terrifying.
Heavy panting. Deer-in-headlight eyes. Bullets of sweat, tears and blood. Chattering teeth. A thudding heart at 200mph. Lightening storms in my mind. Running, running... Salavation is always but a few strides away, but it's as if FEAR munipulates My environment around me, turning my easy run to Salvation in a labryinth. I'm struggling to run, but then FEAR drags me down into quick-sand. I struggle, and struggle, but it's too late. If I use tunnel vision and just worry about my goals and the obstacles ahead of me, then I wouldn't have been wrapped around in FEAR like I constantly am.
ReplyDeleteFear drives us away from what we want the most-- our goals, our ambitions. Anything we fear, however, is apart of us, subconciously, whether it was a bad experience, or something that actually deals with our inner, subconcious motives, feelings and so forward.
My biggest fear is not fulfilling everything that I wanted to do. I don't want to live my life in retirement, saying 'what if i did this when i was young,' or 'i should've said that.' I fear sometimes that I'm holding back from what I desire the most, and I think that that is definitely my weakness. I always think of my day before I go to sleep, and it kills me when I don't say, or do the things that I wanted to do/say.
Lauren Day! (I always feel the need to say you whole name. I'm not really sure why)
ReplyDelete"If something isn’t flawless, it’s failure."
I remember the first day of Ms. Tajchman's biology class, she asked each of us to write down our best and worst feature. I jotted "I'm a perfectionist" on both lines. I can relate to how it feels to think that not being THE BEST is the equivalent to being inadequate. I've done my best to let go of that feeling, but it is a direct side-effect of my people-pleasing personality. The closer I have come to shaking the thought, the closer I've come to the perfectionist-driven goals I once had. My class rank is up thirty places since the middle of freshman year and my current soccer team is more than one hundred places ahead in national rankings than the team I played for until this time last year. And to think, all of this happenned when I took my mind off of perfection for a short time. Basically, good things happen when you push that fear of failure to a more remote location.
Alex S:
ReplyDelete“I toss fear to the side and I don’t think of what might happen. The only time I’ll have to worry about that is if it does. Fear will not keep me from living my life to its fullest.”
Wow you must be a really confident person. I envy this. Sometimes I wish I can be less reserved around people and overcome this barrier but I just can’t see myself doing this especially going all ‘crazy’ as you say you are. Anyways its really good that you have tons of confidence, it gets you far in life and it seems fun too. Hopefully I’ll get there soon.
Kyle S:
“I probably do have little fearful tendencies that I don't understand, but I don't want to understand. I want to distance myself as far away as possible from anything that I don't already know. After all, ignorance is bliss, right?”
I believe there are some things in life you should know and some things you don’t need to know. And when it comes to concepts of why things happen and what not I rather just keep it as what you said. I’m not stubborn or anything I just like not knowing things I don’t want to know either. So it can be true, ignorance is bliss.
Chrissy H:
", but maybe I’m just scared of the unknown. I NEED TO KNOW! Where do I go? What do I do? The suspense kills me. I shouldn’t be worried, but I am paranoid. Obviously I’m not the only one with this fear. "
I fear the same when it comes about the future. But my fear isn’t so great where the suspense is killing me. Sometimes in life there are things you don’t really need to know, because you’ll just be wasting time pondering rather than just actually living it. This would be the control of the fear. My fear is just an unhappy future and that’s it. For me I don’t really want to know how and why I just don’t want to let it happen.
I've always had this fear, coming from my free-spirited soul. I think this fear developed when my parents have chained me down basically since I was a child. I've always been restricted to do things I wanted until my freshman year basically, and it definitely affected my childhood. I developed in such an odd way, especially with the fact that I basically hardly had the chance to create friendships.
ReplyDeleteWell, I stop myself through selflessness within kindness. Sometimes, I can't help but not say the truth to some people because sometimes, the truth stings like a bitch. especially from me. I think that sometimes, though, it's definitely necessary.
Response tooo...
ReplyDeleteStephen: Hmm... Haha, I wouldn't mind at all being called courageous :] But I feel like that's misleading, because I'm not overcoming fears, I'm erasing their existence.
Justin: You don't know how much your comments mean to me! It's odd, because when I think of Justin Hutsell, the first words that come to mind are "smart" and "confident" and yet you always use "confident" to describe me. I'm flattered c: I always read your blogs too, you just post too late for me to comment! xD
Ryuuu: Lucky? Nah, you just rubbed off on me. :]
Taylor:
ReplyDelete“It’s hard to define it in my own words but I guess simply put, I’d say it’s how you feel when something scares you. It’s a feeling, feelings change, feelings can be overpowered. That’s why fears are kind of silly.” I must say I disagree with you pretty much on the whole. I don’t believe the definition of fear is the childish definition of jumping at a ghost, but the multiple stimuli that affect our decisions negatively. A fear, I believe, is something that rips us out of our comfort zone, anything that makes us second guess decisions. In the end though your definition was general I believe it only relies on the aspects of being “scared” of a camp fire story instead of a decision.
Lucas:
When you said “I hate failing more than I love succeeding, and I think it is better that way.” It made me really think. I too have a fear of failure, and it seems that when I get a 100 it just makes me think “ok that’s good moving on to the next assignment” it doesn’t actually affect me majorly but when I get that “60” dropped onto my desk my heart will jump into my throat. I hate failure in every instance, but success just seems expected that if I don’t get that A, a B is still good but I am really not satisfied. I feel succeeding beyond expectations is the only way I am satisfied.
Alix L:
“When we are afraid of something to a degree that overcomes the faith we have in it, we will most likely fail.” I like how you applied fear to failure, and how without faith one cannot achieve their goals. I somewhat overlooked that faith is a belief in yourself at a goal and failure becomes a result when anything less than 100% is given. People can’t really achieve at something fully until they put everything they have into it.
Yum Yum & Kale - hah, thanks. :)
ReplyDelete